Sibling rivalries

My youngest stopped playing baseball in his HS junior year mainly because they kept wanting him to be like his older brother who, he was three years older,was playing his first year of Division I baseball


How did I handle it ??? No problem---the younger boy did nto want to play so that was it---it was his choice

My boys are 07 and 09 grads. Oldest starting at JUCO in a few days. Both are talented. Youngest has had better opportunities at select ball and better coaching. Oldest has more God-given talent, but not too much speed. Youngest has more pop in bat and is pretty fast. We have always tried to play up their strengths and not compare (very hard when 19 months apart in age)Their personalities are TOTALLY different. Their interests outside of baseball rarely align. I would say to encourage #1 son to follow his heart and stop comparing himself negatively. He can do whatever he determines he wants no matter what little brother does. (If that isn't baseball, then so be it, you as a parent I'm sure will be his support in whatever! Right?) He will make it through this. TRhit is correct, though. It will have to be his choice. Sorry about the long post, but this has been on my mind for a long time.

Our situation is a little different. My oldest son plays baseball and was All American in swimming as a HS senior. He is starting his sophmore year at a D1 school that is letting him compete at both sports. My second son stopped playing baseball at the modified level in Jr HS. He didn't want to compete and be compared with his talented older brother. He took up golf for his spring HS sport. I think because no one else in the immediate family plays.

My 3rd son is 4 years behind the oldest and wants to follow in his oldest brother's footsteps to a D1 baseball school. He is diving on the swim team as his winter sport.

The 4th (and Last) son is 8 years behind the 1st. He gave up baseball as a 9 yr old. He had spent his early years at baseball fields and tourneys and was bored. He never showed any passion for baseball. He plays youth football and likes it.

Their decisions to make. We just try to support them

I would suggest just talking to him to find out why he's considering quitting the game. Perhaps it is sibling rivalry, perhaps he's just losing interest. Sometimes we parents project our thoughts on our children's actions.

If the problem is his brother, remind him that his days of playing alongside his brother are limited. If the problem is somebody on the team is 'better' than he is, that's a whole other discussion. If it just comes down to his losing interest in the game, there is no problem.

As a father of triplets, I run into these situations all the time, although not necessarily in baseball. My advice is to split your sons up. Get them on separate summer teams so they can each have their own life instead of one always being in the shadow of the other.

You might also consider having your older son talk to a councelor. There may be a lot more going on here than just baseball.

quote:

Originally posted by Lucychap:
My boys are 07 and 09 grads......We have always tried to play up their strengths and not compare (very hard when 19 months apart in age).... He can do whatever he determines he wants no matter what little brother does. (If that isn't baseball, then so be it, you as a parent I'm sure will be his support in whatever! Right?) He will make it through this.

Lucychap - Your situation does seem very similar to mine. And, as you've pointed out, as a parent, I will stand behind him in any decision he makes. It just really bothers me to think that he may be passing up an opportunity that I know he will regret somewhere down the road. It might not be tomorrow, next summer or even a couple years from now, but I know from experience that hasty decisions or decisions that are made without really thinking things through have a habit of being decisions we regret making.

TRhit - ever have any regrets about not talking your youngest into sticking with it a bit longer?

Orlando - I'm sure that my passion for the game is partly behind me not wanting to let him quit. If I really thought it was the fact that he had lost interest in the game, it would be a lot easier for me to accept. I just don't think this is the case.

Nitric_Acid - I think I may be the one who will need to talk to a counselor by the time this one is figured out.

All - thanks for the responses. It does help to hear from others who have been in similar situations and how you've chosen to handle it.