I read all the responses here, and I felt motivated to post. This is just my opinion – and like it should be, it’s take it or leave it.
The most important thing I believe a player can learn from the game – the most important thing a Coach or Parent can TRY to teach their child, is that the hardest part of this game is letting go of the things you CANNOT control.
It sounds simple enough. It’s said over and over again, and I myself have struggled to try and express to my son and all the players I’ve coached over the years. In reality, it’s something I didn’t realize until after I was injured. Until my competitive playing days were over. An injury unrelated to the game, something that crept out of the shadows.
Something I had ZERO control over. Without the benefit of a crystal ball – and even then I’m not sure I could have avoided it – the result was never something I could have prepared for.
Coaches always like to spout how this game “Teaches young men about life.” Well this IS the main lesson that you can get from this wonderful, sometimes maddeningly frustrating, game. This is THE LESSON.
These recognition awards are definitely something a player cannot control. They don’t choose the winners. They don’t keep the stats. They don’t write the news articles.
They simply put the work in and PLAY the game. Whatever happens after that is NOT up to them. It’s not, and will never be, something they can control.
Why sweat it? I mean as a parent. Why even mention it? ESPECIALLY to your child?
In the grand scheme of things, what does it really matter?
The ONLY thing a player can control is their effort and actions on the field, as it pertains to this game.
A pitcher can’t make the hitter swing and miss at a pitch, he can only throw it. Once it’s out of his fingers, it’s no longer his to worry with, unless he’s put back into motion by the resulting play.
District / Region teams, even players of the year, those rewards are great. I definitely acknowledge the effort and work that many of these kids put in every year to get those awards. But even the kids who receive these honors have no control over them. Their job is prepare, to work, to train – to play the game they do. That’s it. Anything beyond that is way beyond their control.
Arguing over who got what award? Arguing over what goes on in those meetings to determine these awards? Feeling ripped off because you believe this kid or that kid deserves the award more – anything along those lines is simply wasted energy.
Sure it’s easier said than done. As parents, we are wired (most of us) to naturally want to shield our children from harm. Some of us think slights, even perceived slights, fall under this umbrella.
If I’ve learned anything in my time in and around this game, it’s that the majority of all awards, such as these, don’t mean a lot to the players who DON’T get them.
I’m not taking ANYTHING away from the kids who do receive them.
But would these same kids feel mad, embarrassed, or ripped off if they DIDN’T receive them? Let me rephrase. Would these kids feel this way if their parents didn’t bring the subject up?
As parents we do more than shelter and protect our children. We lead by example.
When your son doesn’t make the All Star team, and HE is upset by it, comforting him by telling him that it is okay he DIDN’T make it? That’s fine. That’s parenting. Encourage him at that point to work harder, IF that is what he wants to accomplish the next time around.
Telling him it’s okay he didn’t make it, then going on to tell him it “doesn’t mean anything, because it’s all politics.”? To me that’s NOT okay. You’re telling him that putting forth the effort to achieve a goal is not worth it, since you’re telling him that the process to achieve that goal is rigged against him.
In all honesty? I’ve never met one kid who is still worried about NOT making an All Star team. UNLESS that event is brought up in conversation by someone else (usually a parent) to reinforce the opinion on another event that may have not turned out in a kid’s favor. It’s brought up time and time again.
Why? What good does it do?
I know guys who EXCELLED at every level of the sport. From T-Ball, to Little League, through High School, and onto College. Eventually a few of these guys rose to professional ranks as players. They had ZERO control over whether they got promoted, demoted, released, waived or traded – BEYOND what they did on the field and in preparation to be on the field.
I like to tell my players to “Play the game like they don’t care.” I always explain that.
Of course you care. Competitors always do. Of course you want to win. You want to COMPETE. But the ONLY thing you can really do is PLAY the game. Give it all you have, when you have the chance. Beyond that is out of your control. I’ve seen guys go from good players to GREAT players, by being able to LET GO.
And it can be hard to let go, when your parent is moaning about who made the District team. Would it matter who made it? If it’s not their child, their friend’s child, someone they have a personal stake in, would it have mattered otherwise?
Let them play. When they do bad, don’t try to make it better. Don’t bring up the game after the fact. They already know what they did, or didn’t do. It’s part of the game.
It will all be over one day. Every player has a certain number of games left in them. The reasons that form this number are almost always out of the player’s control, so why sweat it?
We as parents NEED to learn to LET GO.
A lot of things cross my mind when it comes to baseball, and my son’s involvement with the game. Most of it stays right where it started, in my head. It’s not something that needs to be spoken or shared. If it doesn’t HELP, why say it?
Just my two cents worth.
