Someone was watching me.....

Ask for his contact information - that way, you have the information you need either way.  Either you have a solid recruiting lead or you can help the police locate them for questioning.

I would think the general surroundings may play a part in that decision.  Some off the beaten path field would lead me to figure out who this guy is, especially if the place empties out quickly.  At some multi-field metro park with lots of folks always hanging around, I'd be less inclined.  I do think a casual question from your kid to the coach can be a good first start - if the coach can vouch for him then the problem goes away.  If the coach is clueless, then you will have to decide what to do next.  

As for some guy that gets caught watching one time, I wouldn't necessarily see that as significantly more dangerous than instances when the kid does not see anyone watching him.  I guess if you are worried about safety, you need to be prepared for both the stupid weirdo (who stares at kids) and the smarter ones (who don't stare but rather blend in).  You usually see adults in small groups - when you see some guy hanging out by himself, and perhaps not fitting the appropriate age as a dad for the kids on the field, then best thing to do is to saunter up and strike up a conversation.  As for walking to the car, always good to have a plan where some kid is not left waiting for a ride.  Again, physical layout of the park (in your case a long walk) may play into how one addresses this.  That said, cell phones today make checking in much easier - far cry from the old days where the coach would sit with the kid in the parking lot waiting for his ride with no idea when/if someone was on their way.

In all seriousness this is probably nothing but we live in crazy times.  First I would never tell you to strike up a conversation with him.  If he is crazy what's to keep him from attacking you?  Second a coach - teacher or community volunteer - should EVER leave kids waiting on rides.  My coaches better NEVER leave a kid by themselves without a ride.  It won't be a good meeting.  Third your coach is the person in charge of that facility until the AD or principal show up.  If there's an issue with someone they need to address it.  Fourth if it's some sort of scout / college coach they will typically contact the HC of the team to let them know they are coming.  That's just good courtesy on their part.  Fifth it may be just some guy who likes baseball and thought your soon has talent.  I'll do this sometimes - stop and watch baseball and if there is someone that stands out they will get extra attention.  I sometimes do this when I'm out with baseball.  Obviously, I'm not going to do anything crazy like that.

Keep in mind, as I know a parent or two that does this, sometimes it is a parent whose kid is in competition for a position with your kid. They're looking for ANY mistake, made up or not, to justify why their kid should play over yours. 

I can't tell you how happy I am that I never became a HS coach. Some of these parents are crazy. 

I think OP's son is at least one year out from high school, so I could only assume this was some type of public/private complex.  As for the conversation piece, I was going to recommend sending over "one of the dads", but again realized OP is one of the moms - but assume she could probably hold her own.  The idea of the conversation was to either get some reassurance that the guy belongs their or make him uncomfortable if he doesn't belong - with the idea that he would move along given the attention.  If you can't feel safe talking to the guy behind the backstop, then I'm not sure I would want to drop my kid off in the first place.

If it is the parent of the competition, then I think you should start recording their son when he is in the field - tell them you'll send them a copy so they can figure out what their kid's weaknesses are.

One of the many reason's I never allowed anyone to attend our practices. But that's another topic. I would have my son go to his coach and say "Coach do you know who that man is?" "I have noticed he keeps watching me and it's making me uncomfortable because I don't know him."

Any Coach worth anything is going to find out who this person is and put his players mind to rest about it. And of course his as well. If I were the coach and I didn't hold closed practices I would approach the man. I would enquire to who he was and if he had permission to be on school grounds. And based on what transpired from that conversation proceed from there.

You should KNOW that when your son's coach has your kid he is as good as in YOUR hands. Make sure your son talks to his coach and then make sure it's taken care of.

coaches, scouts, RC's don't "gawk" or stare at players....they are really good at watching without appearing to be really watching.

Just to add some information.  This was during practice for a travel ball team.  The facility is huge and open, but the kids practice there on nights that there is nothing else going on.  There are no crowds of people walking by. My son said the guy wasn't sitting, he was walking wherever he went, even walking around the entire side of the field when he switched from a drill being done in RF to a drill being done at 3B.  I asked him how old the guy was and he said "older than you, but younger than Grandma.....I think."

As I said, I don't stay for practices, but if it happens again I think the kid talking to the coach and saying ""Coach do you know who that man is?" "I have noticed he keeps watching me and it's making me uncomfortable because I don't know him.", as Coach May suggested, is the best I can suggest to my son.

I would call the coach today to make him aware but would also attend the next couple of practices to see you notice any suspicious activity.

It's likely nothing, but...................

As Coach May said, have your kid inquire next practice about it, whether the guy shows back up or not.

If you really are curious call the coach up today, just to put your mind at ease. I have zero problem with  parent contacting me at any time if there's a legit safety concern. 

2017LHPscrewball posted:

I think OP's son is at least one year out from high school, so I could only assume this was some type of public/private complex.  As for the conversation piece, I was going to recommend sending over "one of the dads", but again realized OP is one of the moms - but assume she could probably hold her own.  

Reading her height and comments from another post, I can imagine that she could.  At least, I would be looking up to her!

Seems a little strange....BUT.....could it have been a father/grandfather of another kid who was in his group?  Maybe he was watching his son/grandson instead of your son?  Would have been easy for your son to say "hey guys, who's that?"....and see if he got a response.   I'm a baseball junkie.  I ride my bike almost nightly thru a local park.  I stop a lot to watch practice.  Hopefully nobody thinks I'm a weirdo....lol

Buckeye 2015 posted:

Seems a little strange....BUT.....could it have been a father/grandfather of another kid who was in his group?  Maybe he was watching his son/grandson instead of your son?  Would have been easy for your son to say "hey guys, who's that?"....and see if he got a response.   I'm a baseball junkie.  I ride my bike almost nightly thru a local park.  I stop a lot to watch practice.  Hopefully nobody thinks I'm a weirdo....lol

True, or it could be a parent that thinks he has good form and is comparing it to his own kid.  I've seen coaches/parents watching my son in the cage or telling younger players to watch to get a point across.  I'd have the kid ask. 

Several years ago my 2016 wanted to throw a short pen after practice since he hadn't thrown one in several days.  So I grabbed the mitt and crouched behind the plate.  (We were both younger, so I didn't need all the gear.)

After a few minutes, I noticed son seemed to be distracted.  There was soccer practice on an adjacent field (and he's ADD, and it was late on a school night) so I didn't pay it any thought.  A few pitches later, he motioned for me to come out the mound with a concerned look on his face.

"Dad, there's some guy hanging on the screen watching me."

"So?"

"It's creeping me out a little."  (All his teammates were gone, so it was him, me and the mystery man at the baseball field.)

"I'll check it out."

As I turned and trotted back to home plate, I gave a quick glance at the guy against the screen.  I turned, got back into my crouch, grinned and gave son a thumbs up to let him know everything was OK.  "Three more good ones!"

He threw three good ones, and we headed toward the dugout.

"Hurry and get your gear."

"Why?"

"Just hurry.  I'll explain in a minute"

He packed his gear, and we walked out from around the dugout toward the backstop, which was on the way to the car.  The man was still standing there watching us as we approached.  So we walked right up to him.

"Son - this is my favorite Atlanta Brave of all time - John Smoltz."  (He was there to pick up his daughter from soccer practice.)

RedFishFool posted:

2017LHPscrewball posted:

I think OP's son is at least one year out from high school, so I could only assume this was some type of public/private complex.  As for the conversation piece, I was going to recommend sending over "one of the dads", but again realized OP is one of the moms - but assume she could probably hold her own.  

Reading her height and comments from another post, I can imagine that she could.  At least, I would be looking up to her!

Son is in 9th grade, it was not at a school, and yes....I am 6'2 but if he had one little spider on him I would be zero use to anyone....freaking hate spiders, one of the few times I truly do squeal like a girl, complete with arm flapping motions, and repeating of the phrase "ew, ew, get it away, get it awaaaaaay!!!!!"

MrBumstead, that is one cool story!  Your son will have that story to share with all his friends and his kids when he is older.

CaCO3Girl posted:

RedFishFool posted:

2017LHPscrewball posted:

I think OP's son is at least one year out from high school, so I could only assume this was some type of public/private complex.  As for the conversation piece, I was going to recommend sending over "one of the dads", but again realized OP is one of the moms - but assume she could probably hold her own.  

Reading her height and comments from another post, I can imagine that she could.  At least, I would be looking up to her!

Son is in 9th grade, it was not at a school, and yes....I am 6'2 but if he had one little spider on him I would be zero use to anyone....freaking hate spiders, one of the few times I truly do squeal like a girl, complete with arm flapping motions, and repeating of the phrase "ew, ew, get it away, get it awaaaaaay!!!!!"

Amazing how a creature 1,000 times smaller than a human can cause that reaction. 

CAGirl,

I will keep the spiders and snakes away from you. I am fascinated by them both, especially the large Garden Orb Spiders.

You may have the the wasps and yellowjackets. They reduce me to ....well, nevermind. My wife takes care of them.

ps: Son just bought a Ball Python a few weeks back.

RedFishFool posted:

CAGirl,

I will keep the spiders and snakes away from you. I am fascinated by them both, especially the large Garden Orb Spiders.

You may have the the wasps and yellowjackets. They reduce me to ....well, nevermind. My wife takes care of them.

ps: Son just bought a Ball Python a few weeks back.

I don't mind snakes, spiders will NEVER be okay.  As for the wasps, buy the spray that shoots 20 feet, it's actually kind of weird but it works!

coach2709 posted:

In all seriousness this is probably nothing but we live in crazy times.  First I would never tell you to strike up a conversation with him.  If he is crazy what's to keep him from attacking you?  Second a coach - teacher or community volunteer - should EVER leave kids waiting on rides.  My coaches better NEVER leave a kid by themselves without a ride.  It won't be a good meeting.  Third your coach is the person in charge of that facility until the AD or principal show up.  If there's an issue with someone they need to address it.  Fourth if it's some sort of scout / college coach they will typically contact the HC of the team to let them know they are coming.  That's just good courtesy on their part.  Fifth it may be just some guy who likes baseball and thought your soon has talent.  I'll do this sometimes - stop and watch baseball and if there is someone that stands out they will get extra attention.  I sometimes do this when I'm out with baseball.  Obviously, I'm not going to do anything crazy like that.

What crazy times?

https://www.brennancenter.org/...rception-crime-rates

CACO3GIRL,

If your son is talented this kind of stuff is likely to happen again.  Years ago, I could have been that guy watching every move a young player makes.  Still to this day, once I spot a talented kid I will glue in and watch everything he does.  Never dawned on me that something like that might freak someone out.

Of course, in this day and age, guess it is always best to play it safe.   

RJM posted:

coach2709 posted:

In all seriousness this is probably nothing but we live in crazy times.  First I would never tell you to strike up a conversation with him.  If he is crazy what's to keep him from attacking you?  Second a coach - teacher or community volunteer - should EVER leave kids waiting on rides.  My coaches better NEVER leave a kid by themselves without a ride.  It won't be a good meeting.  Third your coach is the person in charge of that facility until the AD or principal show up.  If there's an issue with someone they need to address it.  Fourth if it's some sort of scout / college coach they will typically contact the HC of the team to let them know they are coming.  That's just good courtesy on their part.  Fifth it may be just some guy who likes baseball and thought your soon has talent.  I'll do this sometimes - stop and watch baseball and if there is someone that stands out they will get extra attention.  I sometimes do this when I'm out with baseball.  Obviously, I'm not going to do anything crazy like that.

What crazy times?

https://www.brennancenter.org/...rception-crime-rates

Not to mention how extremely rare child abductions by strangers really is - especially a 14yo. As to spiders, my 6' 4" / 235 lb kid still wakes me up in the middle of the night to kill them.

Why don't you just call the coach and ask him if he knows who it is or to keep his eye out.

roothog66 posted:

RJM posted:

coach2709 posted:

In all seriousness this is probably nothing but we live in crazy times.  First I would never tell you to strike up a conversation with him.  If he is crazy what's to keep him from attacking you?  Second a coach - teacher or community volunteer - should EVER leave kids waiting on rides.  My coaches better NEVER leave a kid by themselves without a ride.  It won't be a good meeting.  Third your coach is the person in charge of that facility until the AD or principal show up.  If there's an issue with someone they need to address it.  Fourth if it's some sort of scout / college coach they will typically contact the HC of the team to let them know they are coming.  That's just good courtesy on their part.  Fifth it may be just some guy who likes baseball and thought your soon has talent.  I'll do this sometimes - stop and watch baseball and if there is someone that stands out they will get extra attention.  I sometimes do this when I'm out with baseball.  Obviously, I'm not going to do anything crazy like that.

What crazy times?

https://www.brennancenter.org/...rception-crime-rates

Not to mention how extremely rare child abductions by strangers really is - especially a 14yo. As to spiders, my 6' 4" / 235 lb kid still wakes me up in the middle of the night to kill them.

1959 the Clutter family was murdered in Kansas. Outside Kansas very few people were aware of this murder until Truman Capote wrote In Cold Blood in 1966.

If this murder occurred today CNN would be on the scene. They would be live with the body bags being removed from the home. They would have caught neighbor's weeping and saying they don't understand how such a thing could happen to good people. This is all that's changed.

The only thing that's changed is the amount of violent crime we're exposed to on a daily basis via the Internet and cable news. In fact, watch your local news. Most of it isn't local anymore due to Internet access. The evening news is nothing but violent sensationalism.

The crazy times Thing is really a wrong perception. Don't get me wrong, it is good that parents are now more Aware of child safety. a lot of things did happen because parents neglected their Kids in the past. for example in europe many Kids were killed or injured playing with grenades and bombs they found during and after war.

There are evil People and it is good to err on the "too safe" side but statistics Show that most Major crimes are actually occuring at a lower rate than 20-30 jahrs ago and that includes murder, robbery, abduction, rape (although now it Comes out more often- most child abuse doesn't happen by strangers but by People from the social circle) and even drug and alcohol abuse.

there are and always will be evil in the world but statistics don't back that the "good old times" were any better. the "crazy times" perception is entirely created by the media. And I'm not really meaning that in a "conservative media glorify america of the past and vilify modern Lifestyle" sense but just the technical possibility of media covering everything.

back then you would only know what happen in your Region, now you hear every crime in every City of the world which makes People think they occur more often now.

again nothing against watching the safety of your child because if something happens it is no consolation that that crime now happens less often than in the 1980s but don't buy into this good old times and "make america great again" Thing. if anything america is now greater than 30 years ago.

homicides per capita

1970-90 was a high but since then it pretty much went down.

https://ourworldindata.org/wp-...-pinker-2011-jpg.jpg

Local news is a joke, quit watching that back here in Atlanta around 2000. I rarely watch any news anymore. Look at the bright side, you have it made if you don't live in Chicago aka Chiraq aka The Murder Capital. 

The News, the media in general equals a total joke.  

Dominik85 posted:

The crazy times Thing is really a wrong perception. Don't get me wrong, it is good that parents are now more Aware of child safety. a lot of things did happen because parents neglected their Kids in the past. for example in europe many Kids were killed or injured playing with grenades and bombs they found during and after war.

There are evil People and it is good to err on the "too safe" side but statistics Show that most Major crimes are actually occuring at a lower rate than 20-30 jahrs ago and that includes murder, robbery, abduction, rape (although now it Comes out more often- most child abuse doesn't happen by strangers but by People from the social circle) and even drug and alcohol abuse.

there are and always will be evil in the world but statistics don't back that the "good old times" were any better. the "crazy times" perception is entirely created by the media. And I'm not really meaning that in a "conservative media glorify america of the past and vilify modern Lifestyle" sense but just the technical possibility of media covering everything.

back then you would only know what happen in your Region, now you hear every crime in every City of the world which makes People think they occur more often now.

again nothing against watching the safety of your child because if something happens it is no consolation that that crime now happens less often than in the 1980s but don't buy into this good old times and "make america great again" Thing. if anything america is now greater than 30 years ago.

homicides per capita

1970-90 was a high but since then it pretty much went down.

https://ourworldindata.org/wp-...-pinker-2011-jpg.jpg

I am not disagreeing with anything in this post.

However, How many of these crimes have dropped, because parents/people are more vigilante? I agree though with the media, making everything seem more sensational. 

There have been a lot of studies done and articles written about the decline in the crime rate, but there's no consensus on why it happened. I can't recall ever seeing increased vigilantism mentioned as a cause.

JCG posted:

There have been a lot of studies done and articles written about the decline in the crime rate, but there's no consensus on why it happened. I can't recall ever seeing increased vigilantism mentioned as a cause.

In the science fiction novel "Earth" by David Brin (written 25ish years ago), he predicted no "street" crime in 2038 because all the old people had cameras mounted on their glasses.

Not a bad prediction, as cameras are becoming smaller, cheaper, ubiquitous.  Keep in mind he wrote the book before cell phones.

That could have been me ...

I always wear a MLB logo hat and dark sunglasses and carry my pocket radar. Last year on the first day of my son's HS tryout, I stood behind the plate and occasionally checked the velocity of pitchers. After the tryout, my son said, "Dad, my teammates told me there's a scout at our tryout today, and they all played extra hard." No wonder I saw some 87- 89mph pitches right towards me!

One huge factor in the reduced crime rate is an aging population. There are far fewer people under the age of 30 than there used to be. Old people just don't commit violent crimes at the same rate as younger people.

JCG posted:

There have been a lot of studies done and articles written about the decline in the crime rate, but there's no consensus on why it happened. I can't recall ever seeing increased vigilantism mentioned as a cause.

Should have said vigilant, not vigilante.

I'm not really sure why it creeped me out.  No one is going to walk off with a 6'0 160# kid, maybe I have let society influence my reaction on this.  Like I said, I'll just have him tell a coach next time.  This team practices with 6 coaches at various stations, his actual coach didn't see the guy in question when I asked him about it.  I don't know, it just struck a chord when he said someone was watching him. Thanks everyone.

This should be turned in immediately.  Your school should have a school resource officer.  (SRO)  The SRO is trained to handle these situations and if your son is being stalked, you are not in any position to defend yourself if they are psycho.  As a coach, if one of my players felt this way, you can bet that I'd be taking charge of this situation.  I don't have any problem going and asking this person what they are doing.  I also don't have any problem with any type of reaction that person might have.  Been there and done that.  You have other things to consider as well.  Is this person simply watching or are the making video?  Are they in the parking lot at all where you son goes to their car or back to get into school?

BTW, does your school film video of practice or hitters?  I do.  So, you can bet, I'd be zooming in on this person for a good record of them being at practice but also I would have that image for the police.  I hope this gets resolved.  Take action now. 

I just read your last response.  I don't want to scare you but IMO, it is better to be creeped out and get something done about it. 

Is the kid being stalked or is his imagination running wild from being raised to fear so many things? As someone else posted the better players will draw more attention from a casual fan who is watching. I'm one of those people who will stop to watch part of a practice or game while biking.

RJM posted:

Is the kid being stalked or is his imagination running wild from being raised to fear so many things? As someone else posted the better players will draw more attention from a casual fan who is watching. I'm one of those people who will stop to watch part of a practice or game while biking.

He wasn't freaked out, that was just me.  He only causally mentioned it. Since it was a travel ball practice at a public field he thought it was odd, but wasn't freaked out.

It probably was just some baseball enthusiast.

CACO3Girl,  good luck.

Let us know how it turns out.

We had a showcase over the weekend and my son , before getting on the highway, had to use the bathroom. We stopped at a large travel style gas station/store/fast food place and we both went in to the mens room. I returned to the car ahead of my son and my wife asked me where he was. She wanted me to go back in the bathroom and check on him. I told her he is a junior in high school with facial hair muscles and a baseball uniform. She ws very worried about "someone abducting him" . I told her that if they did they wouyld bring him back in 2 hours once they had to feed him. lol

If your son is like my son he probably goes to the mall and other locations with his friends and withgout his parents. He has all types of people in attendence at any of those locations. Soon he will be in college doing who knows what. Maybe thousands of miles away. Worry. Keep teaching him. Always protect. But know he is , in some limited capacity now, out amongst strangers who may have malicious intent. Who would have thought 15 years ago that a movie theatre would trip to see Star Wars would make you worry about his safety from some lunatic with a grudge or twisted agenda, but that is where we are today. IF he mentioned some creep it was because he felt disturbed by it. Otheriwse he would come home daily and tell you about the weirdos he sees every day. Keep your eyes open and tell him to do the same.