Are there colleges who string kids along in the recruiting process, feigning interest or unable to make up their minds? If so, why? And what are the telltale signs?
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Depends what you consider "stringing kids along".
If a coach has sent letters, sent out camp brochures, watched your son play asked for transcripts and called, but never made a commitment or asked for one, that is normal.
If a coach has done all of the above and said he was going to make an offer and never has, that's another issue.
Telltale signs, it's hard to determine. There is huge interest, it dies down then all of a sudden you get a call one day, you are wanted, most likely because someone else before you said no. Or you are getting huge interest, then it dies down, never hearing from them again, means for some reason you were just not the player for them.
Understanding the process, the realities, by listening to others and comparing situations helps for you to determine how things work. Once you understand that, it's not all so confusing.
Each recruit has their own set of circumstances, best to do your homework and be prepared. Best advice is not to sit around waiting, be pro active.
Some parents and kids will pick up the phone to call and ask what is going on, some won't, they will just move on. Mine never did that. His dream school, who courted him for a long time, who called several times, saw him play that summer called very late to offer a visit. By that time he pretty much knew where he was going, and I think enjoyed saying "no thanks". He never took the time to think about it from that day forward.
Also remember it works both ways, plenty of coaches offer top recruits right away, who just can't quite figure out what they want. Most hold out for a better offer. Many insist on taking all 5 visits then giving an answer. They in turn string the coach along, which in turn holds everybody else up in the process.
JMO.
If a coach has sent letters, sent out camp brochures, watched your son play asked for transcripts and called, but never made a commitment or asked for one, that is normal.
If a coach has done all of the above and said he was going to make an offer and never has, that's another issue.
Telltale signs, it's hard to determine. There is huge interest, it dies down then all of a sudden you get a call one day, you are wanted, most likely because someone else before you said no. Or you are getting huge interest, then it dies down, never hearing from them again, means for some reason you were just not the player for them.
Understanding the process, the realities, by listening to others and comparing situations helps for you to determine how things work. Once you understand that, it's not all so confusing.
Each recruit has their own set of circumstances, best to do your homework and be prepared. Best advice is not to sit around waiting, be pro active.
Some parents and kids will pick up the phone to call and ask what is going on, some won't, they will just move on. Mine never did that. His dream school, who courted him for a long time, who called several times, saw him play that summer called very late to offer a visit. By that time he pretty much knew where he was going, and I think enjoyed saying "no thanks". He never took the time to think about it from that day forward.
Also remember it works both ways, plenty of coaches offer top recruits right away, who just can't quite figure out what they want. Most hold out for a better offer. Many insist on taking all 5 visits then giving an answer. They in turn string the coach along, which in turn holds everybody else up in the process.
JMO.
Brod,
Some college coaches will not only "string a kid along" during the recruiting process. They also do it - sometimes - after they have recruited the kid and signed him.
More commonly referred to as "stockpiling".
The trick is to figure out which coaches do it - and to avoid them like the plague. One good hint is to look at recruiting classes from prior years - and see how many are still left after a year or two.
Not foolproof - but the first sign of a fire. IMO.
Good luck.
Some college coaches will not only "string a kid along" during the recruiting process. They also do it - sometimes - after they have recruited the kid and signed him.
More commonly referred to as "stockpiling".
The trick is to figure out which coaches do it - and to avoid them like the plague. One good hint is to look at recruiting classes from prior years - and see how many are still left after a year or two.
Not foolproof - but the first sign of a fire. IMO.
Good luck.
Understand there will be times that a coach wants player “A” but if he can’t get player “A” he will take player “B”. Now, if your son is player “B”, you can expect that coach to be non-committal to him until he finds out what is going to happen to player “A”. He will not tell you about player “A” because this would cause your son to go elsewhere.
quote:Originally posted by Fungo:
Understand there will be times that a coach wants player “A” but if he can’t get player “A” he will take player “B”. Now, if your son is player “B”, you can expect that coach to be non-committal to him until he finds out what is going to happen to player “A”. He will not tell you about player “A” because this would cause your son to go elsewhere.
Thanks and you are correct, then there is always player C....
This is our scenario,
Coach came and watched son do a bullpen at school.
Afterward wanted to know about grades, parents etc...
then asked him if he was looking at any other schools or were any schools looking at him.
Told the coach he was looking at a couple of schools. Coach told him do not commit to anyone right now because they might not have everything he wants (???). Then the coach told him about a two day camp they were having and wanted him to come one of the days to pitch for the entire coaching staff. Told him per NCAA that cannot let him come free, but they would make him pay a little. Any thoughts? Would this be the B or C player or neither?
I would like to add that we appreciate the school showing some interest and we do not take it as getting strung along.
Coach came and watched son do a bullpen at school.
Afterward wanted to know about grades, parents etc...
then asked him if he was looking at any other schools or were any schools looking at him.
Told the coach he was looking at a couple of schools. Coach told him do not commit to anyone right now because they might not have everything he wants (???). Then the coach told him about a two day camp they were having and wanted him to come one of the days to pitch for the entire coaching staff. Told him per NCAA that cannot let him come free, but they would make him pay a little. Any thoughts? Would this be the B or C player or neither?
I would like to add that we appreciate the school showing some interest and we do not take it as getting strung along.
any interest is good, tho gaging it accuratly it can be really tough -quote:two day camp they were having and wanted him to come one of the days to pitch for the entire coaching staff. Told him per NCAA that cannot let him come free
my advice is "no question is too basic or dumb to ask", so get hold of that coach & ask away
some I'd (tactfully
) bring up might be -a) who makes recruiting decisions in your program?
b) how many players have been recruited & signed from your camps in the last 3 yrs w/names?
c) if you can't make it to his camp, what's the best way to get seen by the "decision coach" (usually NOT the head coach)
& last but not least -
d) are YOUR player evaluations the only ones that require review by the "rest of the staff"?
you might sense my annoyance from hearing that camp sales pitch so the rest of the staff can see him, but - - there could also be true interest as well
- some schools will use that sales line to fill their camp even tho they're finished recruiting
maintain a good attitude & keep trying
.
These items are right in line with our situation as well. It appears to me that you must go to the camps of the schools that have interest in you and you are interested in them. But not knowing how much REAL interest the school has in you and which camps to go to gets complicated fast. Two schools showing interest in my son have winter camps at the same time. Which one do you choose? How do you respond to the invitation from the other school you DO NOT choose to go to camp with?
My son was told in August that he was #5 recruit after div I coach has seen him several times this past summer and at the college camp. Not to be discouraged, son emailed the coach last week to find that he is "number 3, possibly #2 recruit" and to call the coach next week. Somehow he found this info inspiring and he he is moving foward. Continuing to make visits, complete applications, and attend the camps of the schools where he thinks he will fit (fit=make impact by soph year and get good education). while I think this can be discouraging I'm impressed that he is still motivated.
My son has been dealing well with apparently being left at the altar by a couple of programs. One of them has been his lifelong dream school, a top tier D1 that had been in constant contact his entire junior year (e-mails, brochures, requests for info, etc.). It was an amazing barrage, and it was very seductive. During the summer, my son attended camp, did alright but not great, but the recruiting coach still called in mid-July and was told me (my son was not home)that my son was definitely in the running. Coach said he would call back in 2-3 days. My son was thrilled that he was still on the radar, but was disappointed to have missed "the call". My son pretty much hovered around the house for the next week. Not only was there no call, but the formerly prolific e-mails stopped coming altogether.
I know that there is a school that says pick up the phone, be proactive and make the call yourself, but in this kind of situation I would disagree with that approach. Rather, I would take this as an indication of disinterest and possibly a sign of things to come for a non-A list recruit. Although we are talking about a small deal (a broken promise to make a phone call) I made it clear when I was talking with the coach that my son had grown up wearing his school colors and would be sorry he missed this call. The coach said he was glad to hear that my son had that kind of interest and to be patient.
I know he is a "C" kind of pick for this school, but to hear constantly from a program (weekly or more), then called, makes a kid (and parents) feel like this might be for real. That is what it is designed to do. Then....nothing? For two months? That IS patience.
Fortunately my son has attracted real interest from other great programs (3 official visit offers so far) and isn't waiting on the call anymore.
Anyways, I think the disingenuous approach can and should backfire on a program. There is nothing wrong with showing a potential recruit all of the wonderful benefits of your program and school, but to pump out a "personalized" letter weekly for months, request information regularly, then disappear suddenly and without explanation is disrespectful. Tell the kid that the numbers aren't working out, or whatever...just be honest.
I know that there is a school that says pick up the phone, be proactive and make the call yourself, but in this kind of situation I would disagree with that approach. Rather, I would take this as an indication of disinterest and possibly a sign of things to come for a non-A list recruit. Although we are talking about a small deal (a broken promise to make a phone call) I made it clear when I was talking with the coach that my son had grown up wearing his school colors and would be sorry he missed this call. The coach said he was glad to hear that my son had that kind of interest and to be patient.
I know he is a "C" kind of pick for this school, but to hear constantly from a program (weekly or more), then called, makes a kid (and parents) feel like this might be for real. That is what it is designed to do. Then....nothing? For two months? That IS patience.
Fortunately my son has attracted real interest from other great programs (3 official visit offers so far) and isn't waiting on the call anymore.
Anyways, I think the disingenuous approach can and should backfire on a program. There is nothing wrong with showing a potential recruit all of the wonderful benefits of your program and school, but to pump out a "personalized" letter weekly for months, request information regularly, then disappear suddenly and without explanation is disrespectful. Tell the kid that the numbers aren't working out, or whatever...just be honest.
Folks,
Keep in mind that the recruiting process can be likened to "river rafting" in many ways. You hit some white water & navigate with caution. You may come on some "smooth running flow", then again more white water, or maybe you even have to portage for awhile...
Remember, these recruiters work lists, constantly checking with their network, to see who's doing what, who else the kid is talking to. Sometimes, rumors interfer.. .like a kid looking at XYZ school instead of this recruiters school. Sometimes kids (parents) string a recruiter along, too.
Be honest, be as professional as possible. Keep your options open, ask direct questions, sell yourself, but don't oversell. Try your hardest to keep the emotions out of it...this is tough business. And you (player) need to be just as confident in what you are offering the potential school as they are in offering you a scholarship.
If a school seems to be "backpeddling", go to the next school or YOUR list...
Keep in mind that the recruiting process can be likened to "river rafting" in many ways. You hit some white water & navigate with caution. You may come on some "smooth running flow", then again more white water, or maybe you even have to portage for awhile...
Remember, these recruiters work lists, constantly checking with their network, to see who's doing what, who else the kid is talking to. Sometimes, rumors interfer.. .like a kid looking at XYZ school instead of this recruiters school. Sometimes kids (parents) string a recruiter along, too.
Be honest, be as professional as possible. Keep your options open, ask direct questions, sell yourself, but don't oversell. Try your hardest to keep the emotions out of it...this is tough business. And you (player) need to be just as confident in what you are offering the potential school as they are in offering you a scholarship.
If a school seems to be "backpeddling", go to the next school or YOUR list...
You all are providing some valuable insight. But I must let you know that players often string the college coach along, too, and trust me, it happens more than you think, though usually from the parents/player's perspective that isn't what they are doing.
Imagine how many smaller DI, DII, DIII, NAIA, and JC coaches get strung along every day of the recruiting year.
Imagine how many smaller DI, DII, DIII, NAIA, and JC coaches get strung along every day of the recruiting year.
Paps,
Good post, in fact all are great posts!
I agree there are certain situations where calls should not be made.
My definition of being proactive means not sitting around waiting for the calls to come, but going out and determining your own destiny.
A great example of being proactive. During the summer I received a pm from a parent who said July 1 came and went, no calls. But he had a plan in place, a showcase and visit to camps. That was being proactive. As of today, son has committed to a fine program, and he himself will tell you there was little interest by way of calls and courting early on.
Like looking for a job, if you get a lot of interest from an employer who tells you they will get back to you in a few weeks, do you sit around waiting or fill out more applications? If you have been in that situation, you understand. That's my definition of being proactive.
This is the bottom line. The coach steers the ship, it's his job, he knows the "game" much better than you do. Prepare yourself. Andmy opinion is that many players string coaches along, and they are very good at figuring that out. Remember, your son may have spoken to a few coaches, they have spoken to HUNDREDS. No matter how badly they may want your son, they have a deadline to meet, and they are very good at moving on to the next.
I read the stories and I can relate! It's happened to all of our players, so essentially the recruiting process is what it is, the same scenerio over and over, different names and faces year in and year out. If you understand THAT, understand where your son will best fit in, you can be way ahead of teh game.
Good post, in fact all are great posts!
I agree there are certain situations where calls should not be made.
My definition of being proactive means not sitting around waiting for the calls to come, but going out and determining your own destiny.
A great example of being proactive. During the summer I received a pm from a parent who said July 1 came and went, no calls. But he had a plan in place, a showcase and visit to camps. That was being proactive. As of today, son has committed to a fine program, and he himself will tell you there was little interest by way of calls and courting early on.
Like looking for a job, if you get a lot of interest from an employer who tells you they will get back to you in a few weeks, do you sit around waiting or fill out more applications? If you have been in that situation, you understand. That's my definition of being proactive.
This is the bottom line. The coach steers the ship, it's his job, he knows the "game" much better than you do. Prepare yourself. Andmy opinion is that many players string coaches along, and they are very good at figuring that out. Remember, your son may have spoken to a few coaches, they have spoken to HUNDREDS. No matter how badly they may want your son, they have a deadline to meet, and they are very good at moving on to the next.
I read the stories and I can relate! It's happened to all of our players, so essentially the recruiting process is what it is, the same scenerio over and over, different names and faces year in and year out. If you understand THAT, understand where your son will best fit in, you can be way ahead of teh game.
quote:Originally posted by grateful:
You all are providing some valuable insight. But I must let you know that players often string the college coach along, too, and trust me, it happens more than you think, though usually from the parents/player's perspective that isn't what they are doing.
Imagine how many smaller DI, DII, DIII, NAIA, and JC coaches get strung along every day of the recruiting year.
And the main reason for that starts with the top ranked D1 coaches stringing along the kids to begin with. Think about that!
There are many ways the recruiting process can be improved upon. The NCAA is also a factor. In football and basketball(revenue sports), the entire financial fit aspect is eliminated from the equation, while we get 11.7
.
Really good answers so far...
This advice from TPM...
I agree...I think that at times like this it is good to remember that there are two sides to this story.
What may appear from the outside, to parents and to players as colleges stringing kids along, feigning interest, and/or unable to make up their minds...
...is a maddening dance for all concerned including...recruiters.
To take a coaches viewpoint. First you have to win, which means you need stud players. So you stretch shooting high. But what happens if you don't get those studs? Don't have plan B and you have a recruiting disasater and you risk your job. But you cannot actually offer a B because he might accept. Same rules apply to a Plan C, Plan D...and on down the list.
You also cannot be completely honest with plan B becausee if you told him that he was plan B he and his parents would likley get indignant. You really want him, but you want the stud a little more...for the moment...until the stud decides...and that may be months.
So everyone is left in limbo until the top Domino's fall...
Now multiply this by over 50 possibilities, A or B players suddenly contacting my program and showing sudden, strong and unexpected interest, seeing players at showcases and events, top recruits negotiating, taking trips, your needs changing due to changes in your current roster, and on, and on and on....
The question..."Why can't they just be totally honesy with me?"...Might actually be balanced with the coaches viewpoint..."Why can't my A recruits decide more quickly?...And "Why can't my B's and C's understand my dilemma and be patient?"
Quoting TPM again...
Like I said...a maddening dance for ALL concerned...
44
.
Really good answers so far...
This advice from TPM...
quote:Understanding the process, the realities, by listening to others and comparing situations helps for you to determine how things work. Once you understand that, it's not all so confusing.
I agree...I think that at times like this it is good to remember that there are two sides to this story.
What may appear from the outside, to parents and to players as colleges stringing kids along, feigning interest, and/or unable to make up their minds...
...is a maddening dance for all concerned including...recruiters.
To take a coaches viewpoint. First you have to win, which means you need stud players. So you stretch shooting high. But what happens if you don't get those studs? Don't have plan B and you have a recruiting disasater and you risk your job. But you cannot actually offer a B because he might accept. Same rules apply to a Plan C, Plan D...and on down the list.
You also cannot be completely honest with plan B becausee if you told him that he was plan B he and his parents would likley get indignant. You really want him, but you want the stud a little more...for the moment...until the stud decides...and that may be months.
So everyone is left in limbo until the top Domino's fall...
Now multiply this by over 50 possibilities, A or B players suddenly contacting my program and showing sudden, strong and unexpected interest, seeing players at showcases and events, top recruits negotiating, taking trips, your needs changing due to changes in your current roster, and on, and on and on....
The question..."Why can't they just be totally honesy with me?"...Might actually be balanced with the coaches viewpoint..."Why can't my A recruits decide more quickly?...And "Why can't my B's and C's understand my dilemma and be patient?"
Quoting TPM again...
quote:...it works both ways, plenty of coaches offer top recruits right away, who just can't quite figure out what they want. Most hold out for a better offer. Many insist on taking all 5 visits then giving an answer. They in turn string the coach along, which in turn holds everybody else up in the process.
Like I said...a maddening dance for ALL concerned...
44.
quote:Originally posted by Bully'sMom:quote:Originally posted by grateful:
You all are providing some valuable insight. But I must let you know that players often string the college coach along, too, and trust me, it happens more than you think, though usually from the parents/player's perspective that isn't what they are doing.
Imagine how many smaller DI, DII, DIII, NAIA, and JC coaches get strung along every day of the recruiting year.
And the main reason for that starts with the top ranked D1 coaches stringing along the kids to begin with. Think about that!
There are many ways the recruiting process can be improved upon. The NCAA is also a factor. In football and basketball(revenue sports), the entire financial fit aspect is eliminated from the equation, while we get 11.7
Actually, Bully'sMom, I have thought about that. I have been involved in the process from both sides.
You can't really point the finger solely at the coaches.......but I guess if that makes you feel better about it then go ahead.
What about the kid who isn't getting strung along by the DI coaches? The one who just thinks he is a DI player, so he strings along the small school coaches waiting for the offer that isn't going to come?
I am telling you, from first hand experience, that hundreds of coaches get strung along by players and their families every year.....and I can't blame that on the DI coaches......the players and their parents are choosing to do it that way.
What about the kid who tells more than one coach that he will be attending their school and is looking forward to being a part of the baseball program? He tells perhaps four or five DIII and/or NAIA coaches this......and the send in tuition and even room deposits? I don't think he will be attending that many schools during his freshman year.
Is that the fault of the DI coaches and the NCAA? Nope, it is just being misleading and dishonest.
It happens. Sometimes the coaches and the NCAA are not the bad guys.
I would definitely NOT want to be a D3 baseball coach given the way these things work. I have talked to a few of them, and they tell me how maddening it is to recruit in D3 and be competitive, particularly since they really don't know who they have coming in until the first day of classes.
As for finding out whether you are being strung along, I'm all for the "call and find out what is going on" method. One school that was interested in my son stopped emailing and sending materials. So, we sent a very polite email to the recruiting coach saying that we are evaluating all of our options, and wondered if they were still interested. He sent back a very polite response saying that they were no longer looking for an early signing at my son's position because some players blossomed during fall ball and they would only be possibly looking for a recruit in the spring at that position. That answered all of our questions in a straight-forward, professional way and allowed us to move on.
In the end, you have to do what is comfortable for you, but...having information is always better than not having it!
As for finding out whether you are being strung along, I'm all for the "call and find out what is going on" method. One school that was interested in my son stopped emailing and sending materials. So, we sent a very polite email to the recruiting coach saying that we are evaluating all of our options, and wondered if they were still interested. He sent back a very polite response saying that they were no longer looking for an early signing at my son's position because some players blossomed during fall ball and they would only be possibly looking for a recruit in the spring at that position. That answered all of our questions in a straight-forward, professional way and allowed us to move on.
In the end, you have to do what is comfortable for you, but...having information is always better than not having it!
I can see how some may get that feeling, but - - having been thru it I think that's far from accuratequote:by bullymom: And the main reason for that starts with the top ranked D1 coaches stringing along the kids to begin with. Think about that!
there are all kinds of coaches at every level -
the best ones aproach you tactfuly & honestly letting you know where you stand
some modify that approach & still others don't know what integrity is
also agree that the same applies to players
someone recently mentioned dealing with many dozens of programs -
I would not be able to deal "honestly" with more that a half dozen unless I was totally confused
jmo
.
I understand that view, but if you will listen to folks who have been thru it you'd be hard pressed to find EVEN ONE person here who advisesquote:The NCAA is also a factor. In football and basketball(revenue sports), the entire financial fit aspect is eliminated from the equation, while we get 11.7
"it's all about the money" let the bidding on my son begin
instead, you'll hear FIT - FIT - FIT, balancing financial, academic, baseball, weather, distance, & chicks with various priorities depending on the player & fam
(chicks was not listed last for any particular reason
).
I don't beleive the coaches are the bad guys at all, they are just doing their jobs. Neither is the NCAA. Baseball is what it is, a non revenue sport, only a hand full of programs make money. Coaches can't hand out 24 baseball scholarships if their budgets don't allow it. It's not the NCAA that pays for scholarships, it's the schools. Allowing more scholarships will only allow the richer schools to recruit better, it's not hard to figure that out.
The stringing along begins with the recruit.JMO.
I know of several situations where recruits have told several schools they are their #1 choice, just to keep them in the mix, while waiting for something better to come along. I think that if we had not guided our son, he could have done that as he informed us early on he would go where he got the most money. So early on we said NO, doesn't work that way son and talked to him about the words right and fit. We told him to tell schools the top 3-4 he was interested in. We told him not to lie if a coach called and asked if he was interested in his program, if not yes or no right away, then he would call them back. I remember this happening to a coach early on, and the coach saying how much he appreciated him not holding someone else up. And these days when that coach sees son, he makes it his business to go over to see him. He followed our advice and very quickly eliminated choices by saying no thank you even when he hadn't made a choice. For all of the honesty he got, he got it back in most cases.
So that in turn freed up coaches to know that they should move on as well.
Some coaches who are so good at recruiting will not take no, they will begin a campaign that starts early to sway the recruit to become more interested in his program even if it takes time (that happened to my son with where he attends). The difference was, he was told what the offer would be, it was just a matter of his visit, to see if he fit. But the coach knew it was NOT his first choice.
In the meantime the coach might also be recruitng another player he will consider if his first choice says no. That holds up the second recruit. These things happen all along. The coach is NOT going to tell second recruit he's in if someone else says no. These are things we all have to learn to assume happen. It's not wrong, it's just the way it is. The smarter coaches realize after awhile they may be wasting their time and drop the first recruit like a hot potato, or maybe in courting him realizes along the way, this player is not really for him. It happens all of the time.
I think sometimes people have to stop blaming others for this wild crazy dance.
Accept it and move on.
The stringing along begins with the recruit.JMO.
I know of several situations where recruits have told several schools they are their #1 choice, just to keep them in the mix, while waiting for something better to come along. I think that if we had not guided our son, he could have done that as he informed us early on he would go where he got the most money. So early on we said NO, doesn't work that way son and talked to him about the words right and fit. We told him to tell schools the top 3-4 he was interested in. We told him not to lie if a coach called and asked if he was interested in his program, if not yes or no right away, then he would call them back. I remember this happening to a coach early on, and the coach saying how much he appreciated him not holding someone else up. And these days when that coach sees son, he makes it his business to go over to see him. He followed our advice and very quickly eliminated choices by saying no thank you even when he hadn't made a choice. For all of the honesty he got, he got it back in most cases.
So that in turn freed up coaches to know that they should move on as well.
Some coaches who are so good at recruiting will not take no, they will begin a campaign that starts early to sway the recruit to become more interested in his program even if it takes time (that happened to my son with where he attends). The difference was, he was told what the offer would be, it was just a matter of his visit, to see if he fit. But the coach knew it was NOT his first choice.
In the meantime the coach might also be recruitng another player he will consider if his first choice says no. That holds up the second recruit. These things happen all along. The coach is NOT going to tell second recruit he's in if someone else says no. These are things we all have to learn to assume happen. It's not wrong, it's just the way it is. The smarter coaches realize after awhile they may be wasting their time and drop the first recruit like a hot potato, or maybe in courting him realizes along the way, this player is not really for him. It happens all of the time.
I think sometimes people have to stop blaming others for this wild crazy dance.
Accept it and move on.
We all know it's a business, we told our son to be honest. Sometimes that puts you at a disadvantage. Do you really want to play for a coach that will TAKE advantage? There are honest coaches out there and when you run into one that isn't - trust your gut!
The coaches that are real men call and close the cycle when they are not going to move forward with you. If they know they are not going to recruit you, why not just say it! Important when you consider they have been communicating with your son for more than a year. There are others who just quit calling. Our sons get the same message.
The coaches that are real men call and close the cycle when they are not going to move forward with you. If they know they are not going to recruit you, why not just say it! Important when you consider they have been communicating with your son for more than a year. There are others who just quit calling. Our sons get the same message.
grandslamfan, well put....I couldn't agree more.
Get's my blessing as well....This is some high quality stuff right here....
We found that the recruitng process was a really great acid test for seeing the methods, attitudes and stress reactions of coaches.
Also kudos to you for telling your son to be honest. You want to him playing for a program that values such things.
44
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quote:...we told our son to be honest. Sometimes that puts you at a disadvantage. Do you really want to play for a coach that will TAKE advantage? There are honest coaches out there...
We found that the recruitng process was a really great acid test for seeing the methods, attitudes and stress reactions of coaches.
Also kudos to you for telling your son to be honest. You want to him playing for a program that values such things.
44.
quote:Originally posted by Bee>:
....instead, you'll hear FIT - FIT - FIT, balancing financial, academic, baseball, weather, distance, & chicks with various priorities depending on the player & fam
(chicks was not listed last for any particular reason
.
I hope some day in a few years to be a guest on your porch with Lil Beezer in tow, seeking wisdom and guidance. Perhaps you could highlight the other aspects and leave the "chicks" out of the equation?
My definition of "stringing along":
Friend's son being recruited by a Big East school. Coach calls weekly, says how much they like him. "You're one of our top guys". Head Coach personally calls to see where his application is to their summer camp. Player wins top player award at camp. Coaches take him aside and tell him they'll put together an offer "as soon as all the coaches get back to school". "You're our number one guy" at your position. Weekly calls in July and August. September comes, calls continue, and golly gee, we had a couple unexpected transfers come in at your position, so we need to see how they look first. October-okay, the transfers didn't work out and you're still our number one guy at your position. We'll get the staff together and see what kind of offer we can make. Two weeks later, phone call: "We found an in state kid that'll be cheaper, but good luck to you".
That folks to me is text book definition of "stringing along".
It is a business, but honesty is never a bad policy.
Friend's son being recruited by a Big East school. Coach calls weekly, says how much they like him. "You're one of our top guys". Head Coach personally calls to see where his application is to their summer camp. Player wins top player award at camp. Coaches take him aside and tell him they'll put together an offer "as soon as all the coaches get back to school". "You're our number one guy" at your position. Weekly calls in July and August. September comes, calls continue, and golly gee, we had a couple unexpected transfers come in at your position, so we need to see how they look first. October-okay, the transfers didn't work out and you're still our number one guy at your position. We'll get the staff together and see what kind of offer we can make. Two weeks later, phone call: "We found an in state kid that'll be cheaper, but good luck to you".
That folks to me is text book definition of "stringing along".
It is a business, but honesty is never a bad policy.
quote:Originally posted by hokieone:
Two weeks later, phone call: "We found an in state kid that'll be cheaper, but good luck to you".
That folks to me is text book definition of "stringing along".
It is a business, but honesty is never a bad policy.
Sorry to hear that but at least the guy called.
I've been watching this thread and thinking about it over-and-over as it re-pops up. I think hokieone's story is not uncommon.
So call me crazy, but I look at this a little differently. We all have a job to do...sometimes our job involves letting someone down (not hiring a promising candidate, not awarding a promotion, maybe even letting someone go in tough times). We do our best to be upfront. Sometimes we can't tell our colleague/employee everything we know...for example, in this case what good would it do to tell a prospect that you have another one in mind? Do you think that prospect would hang around waiting for you to decide? Nope.
So these coaches do the best they can...they "hedge their bets." Don't foolishly think that YOU would do differently. But sometimes, when they hedge their bets, someone loses, gets hurt. It doesn't feel good to be that "someone." But a coach is trying his best to win and there's a whole equation that goes into that process and that process sometimes stings.
Should a coach feel "strung along" when a kid sits on his offer hoping to get a better one? They probably do sometimes...but they're not on here to tell us about that.
So I really don't want to feel angry or upset at a coach in these situations. Hurt? Yes. Angry? No. It is the way it is and its part of life.
I once just sat and talked to a recruiting coach at the Area Code games...I had seen him all over the U.S. that summer and knew he must be tired. I asked how he was doing..."fine, but tired...wanna get back to my family (he had a newborn baby)." I thought outloud that this recruiting thing must be tough on him. He said, "You get used to it...but the hardest part is being told "no" so many times, over-and-over." We later added to his long list of "no's." Did he feel we strung him along? I don't know, but I hope not. But you see, its a two-way street.
So we sometimes see things only from our perspective...thats normal. But just recognize that this recruiting thing is "process" that takes many twists and turns not only for your son but for the coaches too. We act in our own best interests, they act in theirs. There's no bad guy here...its a process, a "real-life" process. Try to put yourself in their shoes. And try to NOT get angry...its just wasted energy that doesn't do your son a whole lot of good.
So call me crazy, but I look at this a little differently. We all have a job to do...sometimes our job involves letting someone down (not hiring a promising candidate, not awarding a promotion, maybe even letting someone go in tough times). We do our best to be upfront. Sometimes we can't tell our colleague/employee everything we know...for example, in this case what good would it do to tell a prospect that you have another one in mind? Do you think that prospect would hang around waiting for you to decide? Nope.
So these coaches do the best they can...they "hedge their bets." Don't foolishly think that YOU would do differently. But sometimes, when they hedge their bets, someone loses, gets hurt. It doesn't feel good to be that "someone." But a coach is trying his best to win and there's a whole equation that goes into that process and that process sometimes stings.
Should a coach feel "strung along" when a kid sits on his offer hoping to get a better one? They probably do sometimes...but they're not on here to tell us about that.
So I really don't want to feel angry or upset at a coach in these situations. Hurt? Yes. Angry? No. It is the way it is and its part of life.
I once just sat and talked to a recruiting coach at the Area Code games...I had seen him all over the U.S. that summer and knew he must be tired. I asked how he was doing..."fine, but tired...wanna get back to my family (he had a newborn baby)." I thought outloud that this recruiting thing must be tough on him. He said, "You get used to it...but the hardest part is being told "no" so many times, over-and-over." We later added to his long list of "no's." Did he feel we strung him along? I don't know, but I hope not. But you see, its a two-way street.
So we sometimes see things only from our perspective...thats normal. But just recognize that this recruiting thing is "process" that takes many twists and turns not only for your son but for the coaches too. We act in our own best interests, they act in theirs. There's no bad guy here...its a process, a "real-life" process. Try to put yourself in their shoes. And try to NOT get angry...its just wasted energy that doesn't do your son a whole lot of good.
JBB,
quote:So we sometimes see things only from our perspective...
Excellent post, justbaseball.
And, after you're strung along, finally accept and offer, get to campus, there will be three or four other players at your position, (good luck pitchers), that you have to outperform.
The second year will bring a couple of new players behind you.
And, maybe a juco transfer ahead of you.
The coach will try to find a player that can outperform you.
Every year.
Every game.
Every inning.
quote:Accept it and move on.
I agree with JBB & Former. Learn from it and move on. This shows the importance of developing several options and not to really on verbal statements. A school that is truely hot after you Couriers an offer quickly afte reaching terms verbally.
When that happened to my son I never got upset or angry at the coaches. I still considered them the most informational sources we had. I hope to meet them personally some day.
When that happened to my son I never got upset or angry at the coaches. I still considered them the most informational sources we had. I hope to meet them personally some day.
quote:And, after you're strung along, finally accept and offer, get to campus, there will be three or four other players at your position, (good luck pitchers), that you have to outperform.
The second year will bring a couple of new players behind you.
And, maybe a juco transfer ahead of you.
FO has demonstrated time and again that he understands the college game very well.
justtbb - nice post.
It seems to me that sometimes it takes two to play this game - stringers and stringees. There are other ways of handling these things. Ask the coach for an offer and if he balks, politely tell him you are pursuing other opportunities as well. You may have to go to plan B at that point but you have also taken the power away from them and placed it back in your own hands. One thing I have learned from this site is there are a plurality of schools your son could be happy at other than the one school that is allegedly stringing him along.
When a coaching staff has 30 players on a roster and they have signed an additional 17 players, you can be sure, that most, if not all, (likely 75% of the recruits) are being "played" by the coaching staff with no real chance of playing.
That is why kids have to understand that they should go to a school, understanding that they will still want to be at that school, even if baseball is not in the picture for them.
That is why kids have to understand that they should go to a school, understanding that they will still want to be at that school, even if baseball is not in the picture for them.
JB and FO - Great posts! This "courting" works from both sides. We can't understand what it's like to be the coach's shoes because we're not there!
My own son in HS developed a first choice only when recruiting started. A school that called July 1, called every week, going to "put you together a really good package", wanted him to rush his transcript to them....... they just kept dragging their feet but would say basically the same thing during calls. My son didn't quit talking with other schools putting all his eggs in that one basket. He was a bit disappointed when things didn't work out, but with my help understood the process and was able to look at things a bit from the other side. Remember the saying "thank God for unanswered prayers".
Recruiting isn't easy from either side I'm sure.
My own son in HS developed a first choice only when recruiting started. A school that called July 1, called every week, going to "put you together a really good package", wanted him to rush his transcript to them....... they just kept dragging their feet but would say basically the same thing during calls. My son didn't quit talking with other schools putting all his eggs in that one basket. He was a bit disappointed when things didn't work out, but with my help understood the process and was able to look at things a bit from the other side. Remember the saying "thank God for unanswered prayers".
Recruiting isn't easy from either side I'm sure.