Success Stories?

I know lots of kids who didn't receive honors at younger ages. Always nice to be recognized in youth baseball, but more important to be recognized later on. It's still the same game after the honors are handed out.

Anyway here is a quick story you requested. My youngest son was the very worst player on his team as a 13 and 14 year old. He later became an average high school player, maybe a bit better than average. He never received any all district, conference, all star, recognition until after his senior year in high school. We never even thought about things like that at the time.

At age 22 he was playing in front of 50,000 people in the Big Leagues.

When I was 8 or 9 years old, I had just finished my first season of youth ball.

I live in a town of 10,000 people, and our youth league consisted only of kids from that town. Therefore, by most standards this league was not hugely competitive since almost every single boy signed up and played regardless of experience/skills/etc.

I had decided I wanted to be a pitcher, so my dad and brother who had already been pitching decided to help me. They taught me some great fundamentals of pitching, painstakingly, in my backyard. This was invaluable since I was taught the same things I worked on with my NPA instructor back before I really had any muscle memory. Since I was a slow, chubby kid that went hitless in practice games (I was terrified of the ball like several of my peers) and hadn't gotten a chance to pitch since every kid in this league claims to be a pitcher, I wasn't in the lineup for the first game. We had a lead in the final inning as one of the coaches' sons was walking batter after batter on the mound. As the only player in the dugout, I could hear bits and pieces of the conversation between the coaches and I could tell they were trying to figure out who to replace the pitcher with. I of course straightened up, trying to look as much like a pitcher as I could. It felt like everybody was aware that this large, too grown for his age kid that had already hit a home run in the game would be coming up in the order soon. As the coaches discussed quietly, I heard "Long can't do it" come out of their little huddle. Long is my last name, by the way. Anyway, another walk and they must have felt they had no choice. I got my 8 warm up pitches (I only now realize how poor the coaching was in these leagues) and had to face their slugger with our lead hanging in the balance. I was terrified since: 1. I knew he was the best hitter in the league. 2. I had never thrown to a batter in my life. and 3. My coaches, to whom I gave all my respect because of their title, said I couldn't do it. Nonetheless, I was out there so I knew I might as well try my best so I could get a chance the next game. 3 pitches later, that slugger was slamming his bat as he walked toward the dugout as I felt like the personal savior of the game.

I finished the rest of that season getting regular innings and doing extremely well on the mound, though I was basically worthless anywhere else on the diamond.

Anyway, I went out to play with my friends after the end of the season and saw a lot of them wearing these shirts that said "Pontiac" with numbers on the back and I wondered where they came from. Of course, I found out these were all-star "jerseys" and as little boys do, they had no problem telling me about it.

Later, I learned to hit, ended up losing weight, and made the rest of the all-star teams. Years later, looking back, I know that more than half the players on those teams (there was very little turnover from year to year, given the size of the talent pool in a town that size), less than half ended up being high school baseball players at all. People change, interests change, and opportunities change. I, personally, became probably the best player in my class by the time we were 18 years old.

While those youth baseball days were fun, and I do remember certain things and games from that time, it really didn't matter what happened then. I even question how integral it was to player development. However, it was great personal development. There is no better way to learn that I can do something, even if someone says I can't. Whether it's striking out the best hitter, making the all-star team, or something completely unrelated, like being valedictorian, I learned that no one will ever know my talents like I do and that in many cases if I take what I know about my talent and work hard to make it show, I'll get the satisfaction of proving others wrong.

That's a whole long story, but you should just tell your son that he's good enough to be on the team, he just needs to work so that the results on the field show that. If he does make it, make him aware that there is a boy that didn't make it with hurt feelings that will use that as fuel to get better and try to take his spot.

There are plenty. As PG points out he has a personal story in his family.

I know a guy who was told he was not good enough to play varsity ball, yet went on to be a starter. He was then told there was no way he would play D1 in college, yet went on to do that as well. Needless to say he was told he would never play pro, yet went on to play pro for a half dozen years.

This guy said it was just matter of believing in himself rather than listening to people tell him what he could and could not do. He worked hard and never gave up, and the rest is history.

Mark Behrle did not make his HS Baseball Team his freshmen or sophmore year.

Success...

Mark Buehrle, playing for the Chicago White Sox, threw the 18th perfect game in Major League history on July 23, 2009. He previously threw a no-hitter in 2007.

I coached a player in HS that never made All Stars. He was cut from the middle school team. He was an All State player his Jr and Sr years. He was a college AA at the D1 level. He signed a free agent contract and played milb.

I could give you many more stories. I cut several youth league All Stars over the years who were simply not good enough to play for us.

Many times, people confuse talent with stats. At the youth level, there are kids who can murder slow pitching for example, and it elevates their stats. All-star recognition is often based on such stats and sometimes nefarious record-keeping. The velocity goes up and we never hear from some of these "all-stars" again.

Notice whose game seems to elevate when the competition goes up. Those are your future stars imho but it just may not be apparent "today" based on stats. Baseball is the most complicated skill game in the world. It often takes years and years to sort it all out. Set goals for the future and never take your eyes off that and what is truly important today in order to achieve those goals. Not being named an all-star today is no setback to achieving goals. Not trying to improve "today" is a setback imho.

7 or 8 players from our 10yo all-star team ended up playing HS baseball. Of those 5 or 6 ended up on college rosters at various levels. However, there were several other players who played in HS and also went on to play in college who weren't on that team or on the 12yo team. The chubby left handed catcher who hit several home runs at 12yo and was a first ballot pick for the all-star team didn't play much in all-stars and didn't make the freshman team. On the other hand there were several players who were a year older in the youth baseball age groupings who were in the same grade as the all-star kids in HS and many of them went on to play HS ball but I don't think any of them went on to play in college. They had an age advantage that started when they were freshmen and it carried through HS in terms of playing time even though some of the more talented kids had passed them in ability while in HS. Once it came time for college talent won out however.

There are so many factors that go into selecting all-stars that don't go into who makes a HS team or who makes a college team that I wouldn't worry in the slightest what it means in the future. The key is to use it as motivation. If he makes the team it should be motivation to prove that he's earned it. If he doesn't it should be motivation to be so much better next time that he can't be left off.

Thank you the stories and the insights. I appreciate them all. Baseball really is a spectacular sport and I do hope my boy has the will and skills to stick around for a while.

Here's another perspective that many don't want or like to hear but it is very surreal nevertheless and worth mentioning.

Our high school coach is one of the classiest and most respected coaches Ive personally ever met. A Godly and family man to the core.

As I've mentioned several times on here before, he has always been very successful at handling most questions, doubts, and concerns from parents at the beginning of the season. He very eloquently and simply lets the parents of players that might be cut this (more or less):

If I have to cut your son, please know now that it's not something that I enjoy or do easily. I understand that everyone of these boys want to play baseball and feel inside they can. I have played this game from Little League to AAA MiLB and have seen talented balls players. I have learned over time to see those who can play and those who have the potential to play one day. If your son doesn't make the team, I would like for you, as parents, to sit back for a couple days and just ask yourself this question "is there quite possibly another plan that God has in store for our son?". Parents, I have seen many, many boys go on to become talented tennis players, golfers, guitar players, swimmers, et al. In other words, I may have done your son the biggest favor he may ever have known because now he just might find out what his calling and/or gift is in life. Please don't look at this as though the coach doesn't like your son, has his favorites, etc. It's not that in the least. I admire every boy who believes in himself enough to come out for this team. But baseball is not the kind of team sport like football for example where almost every boy makes the team. I can only carry so many and I have to be sure to pick those I believe will help us win. I have been wrong through the years but most times I'm right.

I know I kinda paraphrased that sorta long but I heard that schpill for a few years and almost memorized it to heart. I also do know that this kind of speech is mainly for high school players but it can be related some times to younger ones.

Good luck CABBallFan.

YoungGunDad,

You bring up an excellent point, and an important life lesson: discernment. It takes constant self-evaluation, an eye on the competition and the listening to trusted experts to recognize the difference between a hurdle on the path and true end-of-the-road event. It’s the needle to thread in any life endeavor: you don’t want to pull up your stakes too early and you don’t want to over stay your welcome.

Thanks again for all input.

YoungGunDad,

This speaks volumes about the man... Sounds like a great coach and a great person.

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Our high school coach is one of the classiest and most respected coaches Ive personally ever met. A Godly and family man to the core.

However, I completely disagree with this approach and personally think it's a bit too Godly or egotistical on his behalf.

quote:

I understand that everyone of these boys want to play baseball and feel inside they can. I have played this game from Little League to AAA MiLB and have seen talented balls players. I have learned over time to see those who can play and those who have the potential to play one day. If your son doesn't make the team, I would like for you, as parents, to sit back for a couple days and just ask yourself this question "is there quite possibly another plan that God has in store for our son?". Parents, I have seen many, many boys go on to become talented tennis players, golfers, guitar players, swimmers, et al. In other words, I may have done your son the biggest favor he may ever have known because now he just might find out what his calling and/or gift is in life.

I know many "not so good" players who went on to become great coaches or make their living in baseball. IMO, Though it is necessary at times, you seldom do anyone a FAVOR by cutting them. What does being cut from the baseball team have to do with finding your calling or gift in life? Are those players who are not cut all going to be professional baseball players? What about their gift or calling in life? Are we doing the players we keep a disservice by not cutting them?

Sorry, I'm sure he's a good coach and good person, but I'm not buying into this thinking. It goes against the very principles most people hold dear in life... Never give up... Work hard... Be persistent, etc.

Maybe I just don't understand.

PG, after having watched what he (and I'm sure countless thousands of other coaches across America) go through each year during tryouts I am sure that over a period of time that he had to come up with some form of speech to the players and parents of what to expect. And how to handle the rejection aspect of being cut.

I know from my own personal experience that when a player is cut from a team that there are a myriad of emotions and questions going through the minds of both the player and parents. I would even guess that many who's son actually did play LL and travel ball at the highest level are the one's most perplexed by their son being cut. Even to the point of questioning whether this Coach knew what he was doing and/or he doesn't have a clue, et al.

I remember watching son and his team practice right after making the JV team. I was sitting up on the hill that over looks right field. I noticed a man walking out through the hitting facility onto the field. And literally walked right out to behind 2b where the coach was conducting practice. I could see his hands flying and head shaking while talking to the coach. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Here was a Dad that was just stymied that his son could be cut from the team.

I don't for a second think that Coach cuts any kid from the perspective that he is doing them any favors or helping them find their calling in life. He also does not end their dream of playing baseball by giving that pre-season speech. I know one kid who got cut as a 10th grader, worked hard at a local hitting facility, came back out and made it as a 11th grader. Great story.

Coach May knows this coach. They coached against each other back a few years ago. He is solid and I believe he has just put a system in place that works for him in handling the wide range of emotions that players and parents have after the son is cut. All parents at some level hurt for their son for not making it. It's a natural parental instinct and Im sure you agree with that wholeheartedly.

I hope that might clarify a little more of why he says that to them before the season begins. Maybe not. But it works for him and that's what counts. Apparently it's not 100% bullet proof because no one can ever predict how players and parents will react to rejection. I'm a huge proponent of never give up, never quit. That's the stuff of what movies are made of!

2014 son just finished first HS season on Soph team. He was the catcher. He was told by the coaches that he may find himself starting on Var next year so go and prepare for it. He never made a LL allstar team.

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Originally posted by slbaseballdad:
2014 son just finished first HS season on Soph team. He was the catcher. He was told by the coaches that he may find himself starting on Var next year so go and prepare for it. He never made a LL allstar team.

Oh yeah, of his 18 member Soph team, only 5 were LL allstars with only 2 being starters in HS. My younger son made all of the all star teams. I know its exciting and a memorable experience. But its not life or baseball career defining.

YoungGunDad,

I'm sure the coach is well respected and a good guy. He probably figured out the best way (his own way)to handle these things. I only take exception to the "doing a favor" part.

I can only say this... If it were my son that got cut, I would be OK. But if I were told that the coach might be doing him a big favor by cutting him and he can now go about finding his calling in life... I would not be OK with that.

Over the years I've had to make lots of cuts. Most everyone hates to do that. Think I've always told the kids to hang in there and keep working. Don't know how to tell them that this is some kind of favor.

Kids normally get cut because you consider others to be better at the time of the cut. But telling someone they have no "potential" just doesn't seem right.

I know I'm second guessing here and might be wrong about all this. Its just that I could never tell a kid who wants to play baseball to go do something else. You didn't make the team... OK... You'll need to improve... Here are the options.

I never got cut, but my parents used to tell me I was wasting my time playing sports. I didn't think so. Heck, had I not wasted all that time maybe I'd of become a great piano player or something.

Then again, playing baseball doesn't stop someone from finding other gifts they might have or finding their calling in life. In fact, Bernie Williams is a very talented musician, composer and guitar player.

Anyway, YDG, I'm sure you're right. The coach has probably discovered that this approach to cutting kids works best for him. I shouldn't be second guessing his method.

He is an outstanding coach and even a better person. My take on it is this. I want players to prove me wrong. I want players to also prove me right. When cut a player I want them to prove me wrong. I would love nothing better than for them to go to work come back the next season and shove it in my face. It has happened and its awesome. When I keep a player I want him to prove me right. I want him to show the work ethic and determintation it takes to be a winner.

When I have a player who I am not playing much I want him to prove me wrong. I want him to come to practice every day with a chip on his shoulder. I want him to work as hard as he can to prove me wrong. I want him to take advantage of every opportunity he gets to prove me wrong. I want to agonized over who to put in the line up. I want to see every player pushed every day to bring their very best.

And when I have a player who I am playing I want them to prove me right. I want them to work just as hard every day as if they were not in the line up every day. I want them to succeed and prove me right.

When a player is cut they have a decision to make. Either I am going quit or I am going to prove this guy is wrong. I am going to go to work and be a better player next time around. I am not going to let this guy determine my fate in this game. I will do that. If they decide they just dont have it and they decide its not worth the effort fine. If they decide to fight for what they want and not give up thats fine too. But only the player can decide that. Not the coach. Not the parents. Not the friends. No one but the player.

I was cut in hs from the baseball team as a soph. There were no JV baseball teams. HS was soph to sr , there were no 9th graders in hs. I remember walking up to the gym door and reading the names of the players that were cut. I was hurt. My feelings were hurt. I was embarrassed. "Its Ok Kenny you will make it next year." "You got screwed man you should have made it." Life long friends who avoided me and wouldnt talk to me.

I hated the coach for cutting me. I was determined to prove him wrong. I was determined to prove I could play. It motivated me to work harder than I had ever worked before. It created a chip on my shoulder that would drive me. The next year no joking around with anyone during tryouts. During down time I was focused. I was determined to prove not only the coach wrong but anyone who doubted me because I was cut.

I made the team my Jr and Sr year and had a great hs career. But I never forgot about getting cut. I never took being on the team for granted. I never took one practice, swing, ground ball, anything for granted. Later I would thank Coach for cutting me. It was the best thing that ever happened to me in sports. I would never have been the player I was if not for it.

So its all about the player. What are you going to do when someone tells you your not good enough? Like I say to players all the time "What ya gonna do son." "Don't tell me, show me."

I want hs players who dream of playing in college and the majors. I want them to dream of being the greatest player they can be on the greatest team in the state. And then I want them to be willing to work to be the best they can be and achieve those goals. Its not where you start its where you finish. Its not what they think but what you believe. Its not where you are but what you do where you are. I could get a little more personal with some stories but I will save those for another time. But I will tell you one thing. No one is going to determine my fate in this game. And no one will determine a players fate in this game unless they are willing to turn it over to someone else to decide.

I look kids in the eye when I cut them. And I tell them I dont think they are good enough to help us. I then tell them "You have an opportunity to prove me wrong. What ya gonna do son? Don't tell me, show me."

Great stuff CM. I'm sure you were a heck of a coach.

And please know that I absolutely agree with what both of you are saying.

While our Coach may have told them this speech before tryouts it doesn't necessarily mean that the player and/or parent was taking it as a farewell speech of some sort. As a matter of fact, before the tryouts began Id bet a dollar to a donut that every player sitting there was thinking that this speech isn't for me!

I would like to think that the player getting cut was sitting there and thinking exactly what both of you said - "Im gonna prove you wrong Coach".

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Originally posted by CABBallFan:
Hello HSBBW. It’s the time of the year where youth leagues start naming all-star teams. I have a player who is right on the bubble and I’m would like to start preparing my Parenting response for either outcome. In the event that he doesn’t find his name on that roster, I’m hoping to, among other things, be able to provide him with a success story or two; something to illustrate the: “It’s not the end of the world or even the end of the baseball road,” conversation.

Does anyone have firsthand experience or know a great tale about a kid not selected onto an ‘All-Star’ team that went on to any level of success in High School? Beyond?

Thanks in advance.

If your son was involved in a mathmatics club and he didn't make the math "allstar team" would you be preparing for the same discussion?

For some reason we think our kids will feel less about themselves if they don't make it as an all star, or an all county in sports. WE tend to put a lot more importance into these things than we should.

I am not sure why you are anticipating him to feel that it be the end of the world, unless you have made him feel that it is that important that it would be the end of the world.

If you son has other interests in his life, it might sting for a few minutes but he will get over it.

JMO. I am just looking back in the rear view mirror, and I think we over did some stuff that really meant nothing in the grand plan.

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If your son was involved in a mathmatics club and he didn't make the math "allstar team" would you be preparing for the same discussion?

I've always said if a kid got a C in Math and hit .250 the dad is more likely to hire a hitting instructor than a Math tutor.

However, in our school district the competition for first violin the high school orchestra is fierce. Speaking of Tiger Mom, the entire front row of the orchestra is Asian.

Baseball parents are not half as bad as others.

Did you hear about the pageant moms who shoot their kids with botox?

Now that's bad!

I believe there are two types of approaches when a kid doesn't make a team or receive recognition he deserves. The first is the kid who believes the judgment about him is right, gets discouraged, and maybe quits. The second kid is the kid who believes the judgment about him is wrong, gets angry, works twice as hard and plays with something to prove. I'd try to encourage a kid to develop the second mentality.

Coach May, that was a very motivational read. It just goes to show that great coaches teach not only the game but the reason for the game. Winning and losing is not only done between the lines but between the ears.

As for kids getting cut in youth baseball, it happens. I know it happened to my boy. But life is about renewal so when it kicks you down get your a** back up.

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Originally posted by TPM:
Baseball parents are not half as bad as others.

Did you hear about the pageant moms who shoot their kids with botox?

Now that's bad!

From having been through both boys and girls travel sports I found the parents of girl's travel sports to be the worst. A friend has a theory. There are a lot of intense dads ticked off they didn't have a boy. I found there are more mouthy mothers in girl's travel sports. It's as if being a girl's sports entitles them to think they have some kind of knowledge of the sport.

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Originally posted by TPM:
Baseball parents are not half as bad as others.

Did you hear about the pageant moms who shoot their kids with botox?

Now that's bad!

When I went to the state math contest in my junior year (happy to say I placed 10th overall), I was one of few that did not have parents present.

Can you imagine doing math with your parents standing just outside the room, sometimes in view?

I would tell you what the parents were saying to their kids, but almost each one that finished above me was speaking a non-English language with their family.

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Originally posted by JPontiac:

Can you imagine doing math with your parents standing just outside the room, sometimes in view?

Parent: Let's go, son. Add, Add, Add!!! No, don't subtract!!!

What? He flunked? 2+2=5? That's not what he put! He answered 4!!! Come on math judge, are you blind?

My son didn't make majors his last year in Little League. He's now starting on varsity as a sophomore HOWEVER earlier in the season he was sitting on the bench, which lit the fire in his belly. Not only is he starting, he is playing the best he has ever played. He decided to go take the job of starting catcher by working harder and with confidence, and not waiting for someone to give it to him.

Had he not sat on the bench for a month, no way would he be playing as well as he is now. Best thing that ever happened to him as a player.

We had the reverse problem. My son was an All Star when we lived in Las Vegas and in the city Little League when we moved to Virginia. But, he was not "one of the guys" on the close knit travel team in the area. He managed to get on the team but didn't get the playing time he was used to having before.

In 7th grade, he made the "B" team but only played six innings all year. He just kept working hard and keeping a great attitude (don't ask about mine). In 8th grade, he ended up getting about half playing time when one of the usual starters was injured.

In high school (and the first time away from the "B" team coach and travel team coach - same guy), he started to get a fair shake but was still left out from the new fully financed travel team (run by the old coach). As a sophmore, he started nearly every game and hit .500 for the year. Throughout all of this, he has used it as motivation to improve rather than get down on himself.

This year it looked like all the ground he gained was lost when he was spending a lot of time on the bench. He finally got an opportunity to pitch in a game where one of our top pitchers was getting hammered. My son shut the other team down and finally earned the respect of his coaches. He is now in the pitching rotation and is also used as a reliever in critical situations. Two days ago, he was the winning pitcher in the District tournament championship game.

Long story short. You need to use those tough times for motivation and continue to work hard. My son has definitely learned that other people's opinions don't matter. You just keep working at it.

TPM,

As a parent, I feel obligated to have as broad a range of information as possible about the situations that are going to affect my child. I brought the OP here, to HSBBW, because you are Baseball experts. Had I had a question about a math-club, youth drug-use or teen driving habits, I would have found sites that have experts on those topics. My intention was twofold: 1) To have available real-life stories of triumph in the case I need them in the next few weeks and 2) I really enjoy the inspirational stories that so many of the HSBBW posters have and I was hoping to draw some more of them out.

In the end, I may or may not relate any of these stories to my son. I, like all parents, will have to read the situation as it unfolds. At the beginning of the season, my son stated his goal of trying to make the cut for All-Stars and he’s reiterated that goal periodically over the course of the season. If the team is eventually posted w/o his name on it, maybe he doesn’t flinch and doesn’t really care, maybe a milkshake and a hug are all the healing he needs and maybe he’ll need a long talk that tries to put this event into the context of his greater baseball and life experience. Something along the lines of: Life is about the journey and the pursuit of goals; sometimes they are achieved, sometimes they are not and often they change before you actually get to them.

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I believe there are two types of approaches when a kid doesn't make a team or receive recognition he deserves. The first is the kid who believes the judgment about him is right, gets discouraged, and maybe quits. The second kid is the kid who believes the judgment about him is wrong, gets angry, works twice as hard and plays with something to prove. I'd try to encourage a kid to develop the second mentality.

This is another excellent point. I do think there's a third scenario, where a kid realizes that he hasn't been playing up to his potential - the judgement may have been correct based on that fact.

In my son's case, he had been complacent and left too little distance between himself and his teammate. Sitting on the bench helped him up his game by removing the complacency.

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Originally posted by TPM: If your son was involved in a mathmatics club and he didn't make the math "allstar team" would you be preparing for the same discussion?

I know I would and I'd wager to bet you would too. It doesn't matter what our kid's goals are...academic, sports, arts, whatever. When they set their minds and hearts on a goal and fall a little short, good parents are there for them to encourage them to dig a little deeper, find their self-confidence and see the big picture.

I have a daughter who is very academically gifted (she's also an athlete). When she set her mind on making an academic goal and fell short, we turned to stories of successful people that overcame the odds and proved a teacher wrong.

It might not be apparent to families heavily involved in sports, but parents with kids in arts and academics go through the same things.