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quote:
Originally posted by TPM:
The question asked was what did he do when his boys were younger that made them who they are (great quarterbacks).
His answer was all he did was try to raise kids, not football stars.


This sounds real nice all these years later. But, I call bull. Can someone fill us in on exactly what happened in high school?
How about Joe Montana. He transferred his kid to where he could get a starting spot. Moved him from Northern California to Southern California. That's real life.

Peers? The kid in question is 2 years older than many of his "peers". He's a grown man amongst children and now dad wants to complain that the kids who are a grade ahead are getting an advantage. Holding back a kid with an age disadvantage is one thing, this a whole 'nother bucket of worms. TPM is right, keep him with his grade "peers".
quote:
The amount of mental energy I expended at times worrying and fretting about his situation was simply incredible. In the end, it all worked out just fine. And I realize now that the struggles and challenges he faced were indeed part of the growing process for him, helping to make him the talented player he is today


Amen to that.And isn't it such a relief when you start to let it go.Start to let it be there thing.

My son told me while he was home on break that he does not think about baseball in his limited spare time, he does not worry about how he is doing.He lets it go out of his mind.He thinks about baseball when on the field.I told him I admired that. I have worked hard to emulate that as well.
quote:
The amount of mental energy I expended at times worrying and fretting about his situation was simply incredible. In the end, it all worked out just fine. And I realize now that the struggles and challenges he faced were indeed part of the growing process for him, helping to make him the talented player he is today


Oh so true! The single best advice you can give a baseball parent BUT we all had to learn it, didn't we???
quote:
Oh so true! The single best advice you can give a baseball parent BUT we all had to learn it, didn't we???


Yes we did. When I read posts of the parents of the younger players I try to go back to where I was.No one could of told me to stop worrying.I thought I had so much worrying to do.
But the funny thing is, it didn't turn out like anything I could of planned or changed.
I don't mean to stray too far off topic, but one of the real problems here is holding a kid back a year, so that now he is a full year older than his high school peers. This happened a lot when I was growing up, and the results weren't so good then. It has become far less common, and there should really be a good reason to do this. Maybe the rules are different in different states, but our state has an age limit in place, so some of these older kids (19 year olds) cannot participate in their senior HS seasons.
quote:
Originally posted by Blprkfrnks:
I don't mean to stray too far off topic, but one of the real problems here is holding a kid back a year, so that now he is a full year older than his high school peers. This happened a lot when I was growing up, and the results weren't so good then. It has become far less common, and there should really be a good reason to do this. Maybe the rules are different in different states, but our state has an age limit in place, so some of these older kids (19 year olds) cannot participate in their senior HS seasons.


My son was an April 1994 baby. His older sister was a May 1991 birth. Both were delayed starting full day kindergarten to allow them to be more ready and prepared to succeed at school, life, etc...and to just let them be a kid for an extra year (they both did attend a 1/2 day pre school program the year that they couldv'e been in K). Turned out to be the best decision we ever made as both are leaders amongst their peers and excellent students and citizens. The atheletic part (for my son) had nothing to do with the decision. Missouri does have rules on age participation at 19 but my son is not affected as he won't be 19 until his senior year is almost over. But this is part of my issue as he has always played age appropriate baseball and now in high school (at least with football and basketball), he's been segregated with his freshman peers who are a year younger. Baseball is a little different for him than football and basketball as he has had much more successs and accomplishments playing at his age level and older kids. I asked for suggestions from this message board to get opinions on anything that he can do to at least get a chance, a look, to try out with the varsity. From a skill set (and I am not a parent that looks at his kid with rose colored glasses and thinks he is better than he really is) he is already one of the top pitchers and position players in the school based on what he has accomplished the last four or five years vis-a-vis the majority of the JV and varsity players. I'm not trying to get too defensive here but the age thing is part and parcel of our issue and why I'd like to see him get a chance to prove himself and earn a spot on varsity. The chance was just not affforded to our freshman in football and basketball.
quote:
Originally posted by johnj314:
But this is part of my issue as he has always played age appropriate baseball and now in high school (at least with football and basketball), he's been segregated with his freshman peers who are a year younger.


This statement is basically one problem with starting a kid into school at a different age. Whether younger or older, he is still a freshman and the school will treat him as one. It is an issue that should be expected when making the decision to start a kid at a different age, and the school shouldn't be expected to make special provisions for him. You listed several positives to doing this and this is simply a negative. One school in our area allows no Freshman or Sophmore on their varsity teams, so it could be worse.
Yes as Blprkfrnks stated you listed a lot of good reasons for starting your children late (we did that too but ours was born in August, we enjoyed having our son around and wanted him to enjoy playing freely outside)

I just do not agree with you that there is a downside to playing Freshman or JV at this juncture. (not to mention he may still make varsity...what is that about worrying over 90% of the time about things that never happen).

What you son needs at this still young age is reps. At Bats, opportunities to see the ball in play before him. It does not matter too much at all the skill set of his teammates. Dosn't he get private instruction?If not then this will provide a good time to develop skills independent of playing the game.

I contend that it is more important that the Junior or Senior whose spot he may take on the varsity team to be granted the opportunity and privilege of playing baseball for their most likely final season. Many will never play beyong HS. Yours it appears will likely play beyond in College. Your son has many years of ball ahead of him, those on the team that are seniors, this may be their final season. Allow them the enjoyment, without misgivings.

This is an opportunity for your son to mature emotionally and develop leadership skills that will carry him well, if he will only adopt the positive attitude and view it all as the opportunity that it is. And this of course starts with you.

Your guy will not be damaged or his reputation sullied if he does not play varsity all 4 years. As stated by a couple here some programs do not even allow freshman to play varsity.

Good luck to you and your son. You have come to the correct place to discuss these issues, welcome aboard. Talk all you want about it here, but for the sake of you and your son, do not bring it to the field. The ride is way too short for that, enjoy every moment while you can, and remember that there are parents of seniors watching those varsity games doing the same as well, but their ride is comming to an end.
Last edited by floridafan
quote:
I contend that it is more important that the Junior or Senior whose spot he may take on the varsity team to be granted the opportunity and privilege of playing baseball for their most likely final season. Many will never play beyong HS. Yours it appears will likely play beyond in College. Your son has many years of ball ahead of him, those on the team that are seniors, this may be their final season. Allow them the enjoyment, without misgivings.

This is an opportunity for your son to mature emotionally and develop leadership skills that will carry him well, if he will only adopt the positive attitude and view it all as the opportunity that it is. And this of course starts with you.


As a parent, I would feel badly if my freshman got a varsity spot over a returning senior that has put time and effort into the team and has done everything he is supposed to (show up for practice, games, etc). The only time a senior should lose that opportunity is when he shows the lack of effort to be a team player. That's just how I view things for HS sports. It has nothing to do with what one did before they came to HS. If that were the case, most likely most of our kids should have made the varsity team as freshman.
I also suggest you keep all comments to yourself about what the coach does, for all sports. Being vocal abut how you don't like things will and can get your son off of a team real fast, regardless of how talented he is.

I can also understand why your son will not do as you want him to and speak up to the coach, he knows that is not, at this time, what freshman do. Smart kid.

The best advice given here is to control what you can and don't worry about what you can't and it seems to me that you want to have control over the situation.
You have been given some great advice and heard a lot of opinions, most do not see this as a negative for your son, try to move forward and enjoy the HS years.
Last edited by TPM
quote:
Originally posted by TPM:
The best advice given here is to control what you can and don't worry about what you can't and it seems to me that you want to have control over the situation.
You have been given some great advice and heard a lot of opinions, most do not see this as a negative for your son, try to move forward and enjoy the HS years.

I agree. Look, I have no problem if john314 follows my advice or anyone elses for that matter. What perplexes me is the following:
quote:
Originally posted by johnj314:
From a skill set (and I am not a parent that looks at his kid with rose colored glasses and thinks he is better than he really is) he is already one of the top pitchers and position players in the school based on what he has accomplished the last four or five years vis-a-vis the majority of the JV and varsity players

1) Apparently john knows more than the coaches who evaluate all the players everyday during practice
2) john doesn't trust them to make the right decisions

john - step back for a moment and consider how that sounds to outsiders. Why don't we just have parents vote on who should be on varsity and who should start? Maybe they could battle it out here on the hsbbweb and those parents who make the best arguments get to have their kids be the starters? Moreover, maybe you can just let them know who the varisty ought to be?

Most importantly, if you've decided that you know who should be on varsity, which other parent should be accorded that same right? Would you rather have another parent deciding the status of "your" player or would you rather have the coaches decide who see all of them play everyday? Do you see how contradictory that all is?

If you can determine things vis-a-vis the last four or five years, what do you think other parents might determine - especially the one parent your freshman replaces on varsity? or Are you the only impartial, part-time talent evaluator left in Missouri? The more I think about it, your whole argument is a contradiction and age has nothing to do with it. Parent-knows-best arguments generally don't go over well here at the hsbbweb but maybe you are the exception
After a high school game last year I was chatting with the opposing coach. He told me he had two freshman on JV with better velocity than any of his varsity pitchers. He said they're better served on JV for the season developing command and building confidence dominating JV ball rather than playing for a mediocre varsity team. Then he smiled and said, "We'll be back next year to kick your son's team's tail with these kids." I don't know if these pitchers were called up later in the season. We played them in the second week.
DiamondDust,
Perhaps the player understands better than the parent that you have to put in your time and everyone begins somewhere. And despite his age, he realizes that he needs some mental growing up to do. Perhaps the player knows and understands about humility we talk about in the game. Sometimes players understand that better than their folks. JMO.
Now that doesn't mean he shouldn't do his best to show off that skill set the parent says he has, perhaps he just doesn't want it as bad as the parent at this point in time, and that's ok, he's young, he's got 4 seasons in front of him.
quote:
... he is already one of the top pitchers and position players in the school based on what he has accomplished the last four or five years vis-a-vis the majority of the JV and varsity players ...
Coaches don't care what a player did from age ten to fourteen. They care what the player can do for them now. Maturity and composure is part of that equation. Many freshmen don't have it.
John if your son is as talented as you say no worries. He will be fine. Let him find his place in the program and build his friendships his own way. Just encourage him to continue to work hard on the field and in the class room. If he stays humble and works hard and is capable of helping the varsity win you wont have to worry about the varsity coaches noticing him. The varsity players will be the first ones to go to the head coach and ask for him. Real players in real programs want to win. And when they see a young kid in their program they like and respect "because he has come in the program and paid his dues" "kept his mouth shut and let his talent do the talking for him" "showed respect to the upper classman and the coaches" "did what he was asked to do and ran with it" - "Coach we need Jimmy. He can help us win."

On the other hand if he comes in with a ME mentality that has been cultivated by a parent or parents that doesnt understand how this stuff works "Coach if you bring Jimmy up its going to kill our chemistry. He is a total _____!"
quote:
Originally posted by TPM:
As a parent, I would feel badly if my freshman got a varsity spot over a returning senior that has put time and effort into the team and has done everything he is supposed to (show up for practice, games, etc). The only time a senior should lose that opportunity is when he shows the lack of effort to be a team player.

I understand that there are usually "fill" positions on rosters, however, I doubt any coach worth his weight would sacrifice the strength of a team in favor of seniority.

I still stick by guns and tell him to be "who he is", always give 110%, and take no prisoners.

Everyone has long and short term goals, but a true "warrior" should always have "micro-goals" buried in their soul. These goals are not meant to be shared with anyone, but rather be the catalyst that lights the competitive drive. In this case I hope my sons "micro-goal" during tryouts would be to out perform and beat-down everyone he's competing with and if the end result is a senior packing his bags, so be it. He had the same, or maybe better opportunities, and I beat him on his own turf.

Even if the coach decides that in the "big scheme" the freshman is better off getting pt on the JV, the varsity team is going to look over their shoulder and say "I'm glad he's on our side because I wouldn't want to compete against him". This is the time to set the tone for the future and instill the notion that you will go to all ends for the success of the team.
Last edited by rz1
If a senior got the job done as a junior, and proved himself worthy of being on the team why should he not be given the opportunity above a new player?

True the best players should play, IMO the best experienced players as well, but how about the experience?

I remember posting something last year that son's former HS coach let seniors go and went for the younger players, that caused some discussion here.

So I was wondering which is it?
The best player. The player that gives your team the best chance to win. Sometimes that means the most talented player may not be the best option. He may simply lack enough experience to be the best option even though he may be more talented. But imo the best player is the guy that gives your team the best chance to win. That may be the younger player. It may be the older player.
Always the player that gives the team the best chance to win. Talent alone isn't always the deciding factor; experience and maturity can go a long way in HS sports. That is alot to be said for going with players that have been through the "wars" as you know how they have reacted in the past.


Talented FR are great to have ( can always be brought up mid season if coach feels they will help the team)but once the Region and playoff games come around, the pressure to perform ratchets up. While a FR may have performed well against his peers in similar situations, now he must get the job done against the Seniors who are not taking prisoners. Often FR must learn how to use their talents through experience and maturity over time.

Been some really, really good posts in this thread.
quote:
Originally posted by TPM:
If a senior got the job done as a junior, and proved himself worthy of being on the team why should he not be given the opportunity above a new player?


There's a difference between getting the job done and being a player on the roster. Many times bench players get opportunities to play as underclassmen when the score is lopsided one way or the other, that is not proving yourself IMO. Those that have proven themselves in "must" situations are not going to be in the position to be replaced by a younger player the next year. I'm speaking of those players who are on the "fill" end of the bench and while they may be a great team player and content with their role, they are not pushing the starters for a position. Sometimes that younger player while not getting the pt is pushing that starter to perform at a higher level.

Many times the definition of the "team player" is a pc way of saying he's a good kid who knows his role. I want the end of my bench to have a goal and mentality of replacing the starter because that makes everyone better.
Last edited by rz1
A senior/freshman comparison (not that I totally agree but this is how it usually is) My son started varsity as a freshman. He was playing first base as a freshman, the batter hits a high popup between first and second. Son moves to his right under it while backing up slightly. It could have been either second baseman's or first baseman's ball. My son lost the ball in the lights and muffed the catch. The coach got all over the senior second baseman for not calling him off and taking charge of the play. Most coaches expect seniors to offer more than talent to the team.
Fungo
The senior player may have played as a junior due to the fact that there was nobody better than him at that time---now as a senior a younger player comes along that can do a better job in the coaches mind

When your job as the coach is to win that means the best players are on the field--

When a parent feels sorry for the senior that is why they parent and do not coach

Coaches get paid to win not play favorites
quote:
Originally posted by Coach_May:
John if your son is as talented as you say no worries. He will be fine. Let him find his place in the program and build his friendships his own way. Just encourage him to continue to work hard on the field and in the class room. If he stays humble and works hard and is capable of helping the varsity win you wont have to worry about the varsity coaches noticing him. The varsity players will be the first ones to go to the head coach and ask for him. Real players in real programs want to win. And when they see a young kid in their program they like and respect "because he has come in the program and paid his dues" "kept his mouth shut and let his talent do the talking for him" "showed respect to the upper classman and the coaches" "did what he was asked to do and ran with it" - "Coach we need Jimmy. He can help us win."

On the other hand if he comes in with a ME mentality that has been cultivated by a parent or parents that doesnt understand how this stuff works "Coach if you bring Jimmy up its going to kill our chemistry. He is a total _____!"


John, Make sure you show him this post. It is all he needs to know.
Just let him play, try and do his best and win a spot. The coaches will decide if he deserves a spot.

Even if he does make varsity it's not always a good thing if he sits the bench. Better off to play on the Freshman or JV team and start. Nobody ever got any better playing in the Dugout.

My son finally made Varsity this year as a Senior (17 yeas old Roll Eyes) along with 10 other kids who had to bide their time on the JV and wait for the 15 seniors to graduate. 11 out of 19 on the varsity roster will be one year players but that doesn't mean they are any less baseball players or that the team will any weaker than previous years. It also doesn't keep my son from still trying to play baseball in college.

Sounds to me like your son will have plenty of opportunities. Relax and enjoy watching him play, wherever it may be.
Last edited by New2This
Freshman Basketball player severely sprained his rught ankle in the second to last basketball game and is on crutches...with his baseball tryouts scheduled to begin March 1st this is very unfortunate timing. Hopefully the performances in the weekly, unoficial team baseball workouts that they've had the last eight weeks will factor into the coaches decision on who makes what (Frosh, JV, Varsity) team.
quote:
Originally posted by johnj314:
Freshman Basketball player severely sprained his rught ankle in the second to last basketball game and is on crutches...with his baseball tryouts scheduled to begin March 1st this is very unfortunate timing. Hopefully the performances in the weekly, unoficial team baseball workouts that they've had the last eight weeks will factor into the coaches decision on who makes what (Frosh, JV, Varsity) team.



Went through this same situation last year with 2012. He emailed the coach and got with the trainer. 2012 attended the tryout but could only throw to the trainer. He kept the log for the times when running and was there through it all. He was told he would have a tryout when he was healthy. He made the team and had the first hit for his Freshman team in the first game. Make sure your son communicates with the coaches so they under stand thesituation and good luck.
Last edited by LWN Dad

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