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Team Bully

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ClevelandDadClevelandDadHSBBWeb Administrator
quote:
Originally posted by slider33:
How do college coaches want you to handle the punk on the team that wants to fight/mouths off/pushes teammates and causes trouble in the dorm.

The coaches are not aware of the situation. If we fight were off the team.

He is of course the biggest player on the team.

I think you ask a great question and a complicated one in some aspects. I believe bullies need to be confronted or they will keep on bullying. I believe you need to form a group of guys who just will not put up with this anymore. You all need to agree that if the bully picks on any one of you, that is the same as picking on all of you and there will be consequenses to the "group." The team is always more important than any one individual.

As a group, I would approach the bully and demand that his punkish ways change immediately with absolutely no tolerance for any relapses. If he refuses to play nice, I would go to the coach as a group. I would tell the coach either he goes or we go. There is no reason you have to put up with that. If the coach decides to intervene with the bully, it needs to be clear that none of you will put up with it anymore while continuing to participate on the baseball team. If the bully should happen to change his ways, then of course welcome him back into the good graces of the team and support him like any other contributing member.
CPLZCPLZ1,000+ posts
There are times in life where you stand up for what you believe in, regardless of what the circumstances around you look like. If you are unwilling to stand up to those person(s), then it must not be that important. If someone pushes you, and you just take it, that says as much about you as it does him.

You can either decide he's a punk and just write it off to that, or you can decide not to take it. Only you can decide for yourself what the right action is, and I imagine, you already know, deep in your gut.

It's sort of like an anonymous letter. If what you have to say is that important, you'll sign your name to it...if you have to send it anonymously, then it must not be that important and probably shouldn't be sent.

JMHO
Last edited by CPLZ
SA S. Abrams100+ posts
ClevelandDad's answer is good. No reason to let a punk push you into doing something that will get you/others get kicked off the team.

That being said....is this guy King Kong or what? Usually this type of thing is handled very easily by about 4-5 seniors that get the punk alone and have a Come to Jesus meeting ( we called them Prayer Sessions) about the error of his ways. Think of it as Diplomatic Coercion...if that doesn't work, the seniors literally drag the punk into the coaches office and tell the coach to take care of it. From my experience, most coaches aren't blind and usually know the potential troublemakers on a team. Often they let the team handle things in an effort to promote team unity. Punks rarely ever will stand up to a unified group.

ClevelandDad's answer is the proper way to handle this; maybe not satisfying but remember you simply want the punk to cool his jets and get with the program. These days, if anyone punches the kid's lights out, I could imagine it evolving into a legal matter.

Whatever course of action the team decides on, don't wait and let things/emotions fester...get it done now before someone does something really stupid.
J J23100+ posts
Slider,

Anger is always a reaction to fear. If someone is bullying another, he fears something. Obviously every person and situation is different, but, happy and secure individuals don't engage in inflicting pain on others. Not sure if you are in a position to "help" the individual in question but someone needs to before it escalates into something more permanent. Instead of seeing this situation selfishly and only as how it affects you... turn it around and begin to question, why would this person choose to cause this chaos within a group of people he most likely considers friends? He is sending you guys a message about his needs, the question is... are you adult enough to hear it and help him? He trusts you guys enough with the message, even though he may not realize he's sending it. Ever wonder why we humans tend to "hurt the ones we love the most?" It's all about trust. He's trusting you.... will you trust him? Good luck!!

J23
F fsmjunior100+ posts
Does the team have Captain/s? I would involve them in any group formed to handel this clown. Of course if the bullying is not being found out I am sure a good swift kick in the package when no one is around might be the perfect attitude adjustment. That is how I would handle it but I like what CPLZ said, you need to decide how to handle it and you probably know in your gut what to do.

Good luck.
Midlo DadMidlo Dad10,000+ posts
quote:
Anger is always a reaction to fear.


Would that it were so. Sometimes, you just have someone who is malevolent to their core. And the only way to handle that guy is to get him as far away as possible, off the team if necessary (in this context).

The key thing is not to get baited into fighting or any other situation where you get yourself compromised. I'm not suggesting you be a wimp or anything, but why let this guy knock you out of what you have earned for yourself? You need to find another way to address things BEFORE you get so far down the road that you find yourself reacting impulsively to the provocation of the moment.

The bully will no doubt accuse you of "crying to the coaches" or some such BS, but you have no reason to care what he says. Lance the boil and let him deal with the mess he's made for himself.
zombywoofzombywoof1,000+ posts
Never be a punching dummy for a bully. As soon as the bully raises a hand, he's on the offensive and all bets are off. If the coach don't understand that a bully is gonna get put in his place and he won't do it again, then the coach better wake up and get a reality check. Nobody should be fighting but sometimes you do what you gotta do.
Last edited by zombywoof
Midlo DadMidlo Dad10,000+ posts
I tend to agree with zomby and YGD, but unfortunately in our PC era, you are playing with fire if you go about your business the good, old-fashioned way. The bureaucrats are not going to suddenly start listening to reason because it's your son. These days when two guys fight, no one even asks who started it or who had it coming. Both guys get the shaft -- one the perpetrator, and one the victim who gets victimized a second time by the powers that be.

It's wrong, but if you bang your head against that wall you can find yourself off the team and out of a scholarship. Much as it pains me to say so, you need to avoid the fighting back approach, because it's worse for you than it is for him.
Last edited by Midlo Dad
YoungGunDadYoungGunDadHSBaseballWeb member since 2005
I forget sometimes that it's not 25yrs ago Midlo Dad...LOL. How we use to handle things without worrying about beind sued, etc. Just took care of it out back, shook it off, and moved on. Win or lose. At least the bully knew then someone that wasn't going to take his daily dose of bull.

It's sad to think that this freshman's first taste of the college life is being tainted and ruined by a knucklehead out of control. Shame on him.
CM Coach May1,000+ posts
I remember my first day as a new student in the 7th grade. My dad was stationed at Fort Bragg and retired and we moved to Durham in the middle of the school year. My first day at school and the biggest kid in the class starts picking on me. He is relentless and would not stop. I told the teacher. The teacher did nothing. Later that day I went to the bathroom and he followed me inside. He started to push me and talk trash to me.

"I punched him in the nose , put a knee in his stomach , then shoved him on the floor. I calmly walked back to class and took my seat again. The bully , comes in the classroom bleeding from the nose and crying like a little Bi*ch. The teacher says "Frankie what happend to you?" He says "That new kid walked up to me and sucker punched me for no reason." We were immediately taken to the principals office and suspended for 3 days. My dad came to pick me up. He asked me what happend and I told him. He said "No problem , you wont have to worry about anyone else messing with you anymore." And he was right. And no one else had to worry about Frankie anymore either.

So you tell the Coach that he has a bully on the team. And if he doesnt take care of that $($*#)#! You and your team mates will. "Now coach how do you want to handle this problem?"
kt333kt3331,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by Coach May:
I remember my first day as a new student in the 7th grade. My dad was stationed at Fort Bragg and retired and we moved to Durham in the middle of the school year. My first day at school and the biggest kid in the class starts picking on me. He is relentless and would not stop. I told the teacher. The teacher did nothing. Later that day I went to the bathroom and he followed me inside. He started to push me and talk trash to me.

"I punched him in the nose , put a knee in his stomach , then shoved him on the floor. I calmly walked back to class and took my seat again. The bully , comes in the classroom bleeding from the nose and crying like a little Bi*ch. The teacher says "Frankie what happend to you?" He says "That new kid walked up to me and sucker punched me for no reason." We were immediately taken to the principals office and suspended for 3 days. My dad came to pick me up. He asked me what happend and I told him. He said "No problem , you wont have to worry about anyone else messing with you anymore." And he was right. And no one else had to worry about Frankie anymore either.

So you tell the Coach that he has a bully on the team. And if he doesnt take care of that $($*#)#! You and your team mates will. "Now coach how do you want to handle this problem?"


Amen
Tx-HuskerTx-Husker1,000+ posts
quote:
My dad came to pick me up. He asked me what happend and I told him. He said "No problem , you wont have to worry about anyone else messing with you anymore." And he was right.


Attababy. We have too much political correct stuff now and not enough old school stand up for your actions. Good stuff. I suspect that taught the bully a lesson that helped him long term in the rest of his career/life.
BumBum1,000+ posts
Shun him. Have a senior or someone he talks to confide with him that until he changes his ways, no one will deal with him. This same senior/confidant should also tell him that if he is willing to change his ways, everyone will embrace him.

And don't even play catch with the ***** until he does.

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