Team Policy-Parents

quote:

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Originally posted by Dad04:
Frank Viola was suspended for 6 weeks last spring by the state athletic association, for conduct unbecoming at the end of his last playoff game, severe difference of opinion with head umpire. Suspension to start at the start of this season.

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I don't believe I would want this guy coaching my sons, don't care who he is. Does he really want to coach for the same reasons most coaches do? Does he have his own agenda and ego problems? I wouldn't have any problem with him being hired as a pitching tutor but wouldn't want my sons high school careers being distracted by a "GOD". JMO.

Knowledge is Power! Thank you Mavens and HSBBWEB!

Chicks
His kid went to the school. He coached his kids AAU team prior to high school. More than that, and the fact that the FHSAA came down on him like a ton of whatever his 2nd season as a coach, I don't know. Never met him.

Where did his kid wind u in college. I heard he went to UCF and then transferred.

the Florida Bombers
"I love the HSBBW"

He had academic/eligibility issues and pitched in the Clark-Griffith League last summer and did very well. What he's up to now? Not sure.

I don't think a parent should ever talk to their son's high school coach about play time. In fact, I don't think a player should either. It seems disrespectful to me.

If your son is not getting the play time he wants, tell him to work harder to improve his game and earn his coach's confidence and respect.

I believe he's at FCCJ now.

Frank has a temper. I wish I could say he's the only Central Florida hs coach with a nasty temper. I also know that ex-pros coaching seem to be held to a different standard by officials --- some are in awe, some live to show them up, but treating them as just another coach is the rarest of the three. Makes life interesting!

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From 'Nice Guys Finish Last' by Leo Durocher:

Baseball lives at the center of a never-flagging whirl of irreconcilable opinions.

He's a big dude too. 6-4 250+ and intimidating if your Blue and he's two inches away screaming. Frank might have got the "showed up" treatment all to the way to the top of the FHSSA.

Just my two cents from experience.
In my youngest son's senior year I held my tongue for half of the season as he rode the pines getting very little PT if any, an at bat or opportunity to pitch in the last inning of a blowout usually. Finally, when other parents started to ask me what was going on I asked to talk to the head coach after practice one night. At first he didn't want to talk to me about it. I asked if there was anything I could work with my son on at home. i ask if there were any disiplinary issues that I could address. No, I was told he was a good kid. Finally I just asked straight out what the deal was then. In a nutshell he told me that he didn't have room on his team for any prima donna East Cobb bigshots on his team. I was absolutely floored.
Now, if I had not ever approached him or pressured him for a specific answer we would have never known. I was upset that he never said anything to my son but was apparently holding that grudge and would have held it all year.

Voicovr
That's a sad story. My son's new coach could hold a grudge against some kids/parents for a rough start at his school but seems to have put all the adjustment stuff behind him and is just looking ahead, for which I give him and the kids credit.

I have never spoken with a coach about playing time (but to be honest I have been fortunate, and have never had to cross that bridge).

I do believe there are so many variables that it would be unrealistic to say a parent never should. But I also feel it should not be routine, more of a last resort.

In addition the parents need to be prepared to hear that the coach may not agree with their image of their sons level of talent. That is an issue for another thread, another time.

voicovr,

I would like to hear how you convinced the coach that your son was not what he had assumed he was

Big hit

Just because I did not have those extras did not mean I did not want the best for my kids. As far as booster clubs run by parents it was just a preference.

BigHit,

When I talk to the parent, it is basically the same as the player talk. But I have found that if the son is present, the father's feel undue pressure to get defensive and it puts the player in an awkward position. Many of the fathers want to push until you give them things their son do wrong, instead of things they can do better. When a player hears this kind of negative feedback, it is damaging to his self-esteem. I am not going to say negative things about a kid in front of him and try at all costs to avoid negativity with the parent as well, but sometimes they push you to that point. I'm afraid you will have to look elsewhere for examples of "Stinkin' Thinkin'", I am all about kids having a positive experience - but unfortunately you can't put 12 kids on the field and in competitive ball you must play to win. I coach 14U, and these kids are old enough to start realizing that effort and talent earns you playing time. Even if you put out effort, some kids just have more talent. Just a note, I have never failed to get a kid in the game for at least an inning in any game.

http://www.highviewheat.com/index.asp

http://www.kristensfastpitchworld.com/index.asp

Frankie V. is indeed at Florida CC/Jacksonville and was doing very well the last time I talked to the coaches there. He is a very talented and nice young man who became friends with my son when he played at Lake Highland Prep. 6'4" and very live arm. He could have been a college basketball player but the previous "top-notch" coach before Frank Sr(he was assistant) would not allow "Frankie" and some others on the baseball team to go out for basketball. However, two senior basketball players were allowed to join the team after baseball games started and were inserted into the lineup with only two
days of practice and were quickly retired without sniffing a foul ball. It was pitiful and embarrassing and did wonders for the team morale. There were many other factors that led to this coach getting
canned even though people not in the know think he quit because of
badgering parents.He was "allowed" to resign. Frank Sr. was caught in the middle-He was long time friends with the coach from Long Island
and was very apologetic to the parents for the conduct of the coach.

Frank is a very personable man who would give you the shirt off his back. We had team gatherings at his "castle" and he spared no expense.
He has donated a lot of time and money to the LHP athletic program
and still has two daughters that attend. One, Brittany is a top rated diver who is in line to make the U. S. Olympic team. He Does have a temper but gets over it quickly-but not quick enough sometimes-and has
apologized for some off color remarks he has made to fans(in my presence). He loves baseball and is dedicated to a good program, but
some of his rules are holdovers from the previous coach. He is also well liked by the local media because he is easily accesible.

He has no problem talking to parents about their kids but I think his
rule 6 is in place because there ARE some parents who think that $10,000/year tuition gives them the right to make up the lineup. Rest assured it did not happen while my son attended there his freshman year.

Moc1

Thanks for the 1st hand perspective on that program. Les McDanell and his folks too were indeed impressed with Franks dedication to the program, school AND his "castle".

AParent,
I assured him that he was not at all like that. He played travel ball because it was better exposure. The coach did state that he liked for "his boys" to play with the summer high school team. It showed more devotion to the school. I advised him that he was only going to be in high school for that last year and it was his decision to play at a level that was more geared towards where he wanted to go.
We basically agreed to disagree. I stayed out of their business and supported the team for the remainder of the season. I discussed it with my son before and after and he couldn't have been more of a man about it. I was very proud of him the way he handle the whole thing.

just wanted to add a thought about "rule" 6 and discussions of playing time by parents and perhaps a possible different slant on this.

I don't think every coach utilizes this type of rule simply to exclude parents, but instead as a "life lesson" for the player- to have the child show/gain some maturity and address the situation on their own and learn how to handle matters for themselves. At some point we all learn that if we don't speak up for ourselves we'll never be heard.

When I first started viewing this website, I remember one of the major points made was that going into college (if not high school for that matter) coaches/scouts want to see a kid be mature, take care of themselves, carry their own bag, show up to the game ready to take care of business for themself etc. etc. When they see a kid whose parent constantly runs interference, is this a kid ready for their program. . . . .

Often too, the parents view of playing time and the kid's may not be the same. It is the kid's issue, it is the team's issue, it is the coach's issue. (It may just be the parent's pride, ego, etc.)

I certainly appreciate the various sides to this question and open dialogue is rarely a bad thing, but I think there is an aspect here that this coach, intended or not, is doing his players a favor by causing them to stand up for themselves and face these issues on their own. If it's an issue worth discussing, it is an issue the player should be willing/able to discuss for himself as part of the growing/learning process.

Certainly if they are fortunate to move up the ladder to college or beyond, I don't see mom or dad being able to speak for them. So, best to learn to fend for yourself, ususally sooner than later.

HeyBatter, Good post. Rule 6 does not say that a parent can't talk to the coach.......only that he can't talk about playing time. If the kid is not playing, the coach (who has a lot of experience in baseball) thinks the kid is not as good as the kid who is playing.

The parent can still talk to the coach about what his kid needs to work on so that he might be a better player.

If a senior is not good enough to play on a rich kids High School team, he is not a very good player anyway.

I think rule 6 should be implemented in all High Schools.

Does anyone here think that they will convince a knowledgeable coach to start their kid when the coach is starting who he feels are the best players?

Good points HeyBatter and bbscout. I like this list very much.

Here's what I've kind of seen at the HS (and even below) level. Parent complains in an inappropriate way to coach about son's playing time. Coach gets p***ed off, but tries to re-evaluate kid fairly. As kid continues to prove that coach's decision was right in the first place, in practice usually, coach thinks/says, "see, he's no good, parent is full of s***."

Net effect, parent inadvertantly put negative light on their son and caused situation to get worse.

Sorry for all the ***'s in this post. Had to vent a little.

BeenthereIL-
In 2 years of posting on this forum, I have never once disagreed with you...until now. You CAN'T let parents discuss playing time with you as a coach! It isn't THEIR playing time in question, so why would it be THEIR discussion? I want my parents to be involved in the program, and I certainly encourage them to be coaches off the field, but this is one area over which they have NO CONTROL. The minute a coach lets parents (at least those whose rose-colored glasses won't let them see the obvious) try to make playing time decisions, he's in serious trouble. I have never in my career spent time talking to a parent about playing time, and I don't intend to any time soon. We can and should talk about EVERYTHING else...but you have to draw the line somewhere.

Just baseball - you are absolutely right.

Coach, I agree with you. I am a high school coach and I will discuss anything with parents except playing time. I am more than willing to give them an idea of areas their son needs to improve in but I will not discuss playing time. I also will not meet with a parent about any baseball related item that they have not had their son discuss with me first and also they must tell their son they are coming to meet with me. I do not ever go for the "don't tell Johnny I came to talk to you line" when it is about baseball. It is different if it is a personal issue or a family issue that a parent is seeking help with. In that situation I will respect the confidentiality request.

I talk to parents but not after practice before practice and not after games and before games. I say hello and thats about it. My focus is on the kids and I can not keep my focus on them if I allow myself to be distracted. I tell parents that if they want to talk to me about playing time or a problem they have with their son or coachs to call me and I will meet with them. I also tell my players that before I meet with their parents about playing time issues that they should come to me first. Then I will meet with them and their parents together. Parents should know why their son is not starting or not playing as much as they would like because their son should tell them first. If the player meets with me and is not satisfied then they can meet with me along with their parents and we will talk. I will tell them what role they have and tell them what their son needs to improve on in order to gain more time. I usually have on average one meeting a year thats about it. But I do believe that parents have a right to know what role their son has and why he is not playing or not playing much etc. They do not have to agree with me and thats ok. But at least they and their son know where they stand. I know some coachs might not agree with this and thats ok. It has worked for me over the years. What I wont do is constantly meet over and over with the same parents. And they know this. But to ignore the concerns of a parent in my opinion just isnt right no matter how trivial they might seem.

Coach May, there are a lot of parents out there who are wishing you would move to their school right about now! Sounds like a fair and balanced policy. Also, you have a private message.

Coach May, I'll bet you have a successful program and I don't mean just in won/loss ratio. I do think a lot of parents meddle and coddle
their children too much, but as long as they are legally and financially responsible for them then they do have a right to be involved. I honestly think the player has to ask the coach what he needs to do or improve on in order to receive more playing time.

As a coach do you not think it good policy to to have one-on-ones with
each player once you have determined the starting lineups in order to let them know where they stand? It would seem to me that this would cut out 90%(approx) of problems that may occur later on if player knows ahead of time what he needs to do to improve. I'm guessing you already do this.

Again, parents need to remain on sidelines, unless something strange is happening.

Moc1

Coach May...Appropriate is the sense of your parent/coach policy. I like it.

coach may,
i am right there with you. make the kids come talk first. let them grow up a little in the process. then talk to the parents if need be. yes they are in high school, yes they need to mature, but they are still only YOUNG men.
the parents have the right, as long as they approach you with the proper attitude. once they get confrontational the meeting is over.

The key is to discuss items that are worth discussing - things that they have a say in. Parents are the most important people in their kids' lives, so they deserve to know what is happening. However, a great coach always has individual meetings with players to let them know their role, and he will always update his thinking on players as the year and the situations dictate.