Team Policy-Parents

Dad04,

This is the great set of team rules, simple, consise, and fair. How could a parent have issue with any of the points.

rz1

I thought so too. Just thought someone might need them as an example.

iii) We coach on the field, you coach off the field.

I have even heard him address parents as "Coach". As I heard it, I thought it was odd....but when I thought about it, I liked the message.

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From 'Nice Guys Finish Last' by Leo Durocher:

Baseball lives at the center of a never-flagging whirl of irreconcilable opinions.

Orlando
Good point! He was a baseball parent before he was a coach, but after he won a World Series. From what I hear he is very inclusionary and doesn't deny the obvious, that high school players have involved parents and outnumber the coach. The "me v. them" attitude hurts everyone.

My son's Little League coach had an additional rule that I always thought was great: I will talk to you parents and players about anything at any time EXCEPT before and after a game. The reasoning was that emotions were too high on both sides at that time.

This coach had us parents so well trained that when one parent yelled advice to a kid during a game the rest of us gasped in horror and we all stared at him in shock. The dad choked out, "But I have special permission!" (And he did.)

The only one I have a problem with is #6.

I believe that a parent should be able to discuss anything (related to their kid) with the coach.

I coached travel ball (I know it's not HS and there is a difference) for a number of years and had no problem discussing playing time with a parent. I would be willing to tell them what the kids needed to do to get more time.

I really like #3, and was very adamant about it. Even if the parent was right it may not be what we wanted at that point in time.

Play every game as if it were your last

Gees...How nice of the coach.

Is he afraid of parent talking with him? Does he have something to hide? Is he insecure?

If you are a senior on the team...What are your other "baseball options"? Please Mr. Coach, tell me?

The coach is Cy Young recipient Frank Viola.
The school is a private school in Orlando.

There are schools where your objection to the rule would be valid, been. However, I can certainly understand the inclusion in this case.

This is an expensive prep school, populated by a number of high-powered families, many of them professional athletes, all of them used to getting their way. (If Coach hangs on long enough, he can welcome Trey Griffey to the field, for example.) They had a top-notch coach there (even before the current ex-Pro Pitcher) who quit in complete and utter disgust at the badgering parents, each of whom were completely convinced they had sired The Star of The Team and that they knew exactly how to run the team far better than he.

I believe that rule is in place to 're-train' those parents.

And Frank ain't even close to insecurity.

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From 'Nice Guys Finish Last' by Leo Durocher:

Baseball lives at the center of a never-flagging whirl of irreconcilable opinions.

Doesn't matter if its Frank Viola or Cy Young coaching.

If you can't talk with parents, you can't coach the team.

Answer the questions: What are the seniors "...other baseball options?"

I agree with you BeenthereIl, seems a little harsh for a "kids game". One penalty I really don't understand although I know they do it in all sports:
iii) Team violations will result in one or all of the following

(1) Extra Conditioning
(2) Removal from a game or practice
(3) Loss of playing time
(4) Suspension from team
(5) Expulsion from team

Number (1) above: Extra conditioning
is mentioned a couple of times. Is this really a penalty. It would seem the violator of the rules would end up getting better athletically as a result of the punishment and in effect would be benefiting from punishment. It would seem that "loss of use" of the facilities would be truer punishment. Just a thought.

Knowledge is Power! Thank you Mavens and HSBBWEB!

I pretty much agree with the rules. They were the same ones we had at my sons HS.

The way I read it, you can talk to the coach all you want about anything except playing time.

If you're not getting enough playing time, you (the player) have the choice to talk to the coach about it and he can explain it to you.

BeenthereIL,

You are right, the seniors don't have many options and the ones they do have aren't great. Not to be harsh, but if you are a senior and not getting enough playing time, evaluate the situation and either play summer ball to hopefully get to the next level, or get on with your life. I'm sure its not easy but in my book there's no shame in not being a starter. Be the best you can be and go from there. It's not the end of the world (although it might feel like it) to have to "hang em up". Everyone's going to have to eventually, some sooner than later.

Chicks,

Ask anyone, running extra poles, bleachers, doing pushups, etc. might get them in better shape, but trust me, they see it as punishment and will think twice before having another infraction.

Frank

PASSION - "There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart...pursue those."

I'm with BigWI and Harbormom. I don't talk with my kids' coaches about playing time; never have. Still, I think that it should be a parent's right to act as their son's "agent" in terms of communicating with coaches. Some kids are simply shy, or inarticulate, while others aren't. There may be a message that needs to be given to (or received from) the coach which will only get there if it goes through a parent. (I do talk to my kids' teachers for exactly that reason.) While I certainly understand why a coach might not want to have those conversations at times, I can't see any reason why teenagers can't have the same "help" as pros have.

D'oh!

Beenthereil

Why is a coach depicted as insecure or hiding something if he won't discuss certain things with parents? Yes this parent/coach thing has been discussed before. Every coach is different. I personally kept a profesional distance. I wanted parents to watch the team and be supportive. i did not want them raising money or keeping score or anywhere near the bench. I know old fashioned out of touch but it worked well for us.

Beenthere

It gets very simple-- your kid goes and plays for another team-----case closed

The coach is in charge of the team--those are his rules-- the players abide by them or leave--there are other places to play where the coach may fit what the player wants

TRhit

Will...I'm happy that it worked for you. Imagine, however, if you would have talked with the parents and let them raise money...you probably would have had lights on the field; tarp; batting tunnels; etc.

I coached in my 20's; and, then again in the summer of 2002 when I was close to being as old as the Neanderthal Man. I never had a problem with parents talking with me..or I with them. I think you are likely to have a problem when you don't have some dialogue.

I know a few majorleaguers, too. Most affable people you would ever want to meet. None wanted any "control" of anything. Just the opposite.

Hope Frank Does well. Did he have his big years with the Twins?

Been,

You are treading on Mets territory. LOL

He won 20 for the Mets (OK, only once) - and was an awesome pitcher in college as well.

Frankie "Sweet Music" Viola.

And he is from my Alma Mater--St John's University

TRhit

Don't get into Viola's years with the Twins. It involves a WS, the Thunderdome, an appalling road record, the Cardinals....and then MNMom and I start bickering.

---------------------------------
From 'Nice Guys Finish Last' by Leo Durocher:

Baseball lives at the center of a never-flagging whirl of irreconcilable opinions.

TR...Which team is he supposed to go to? He's a senior.

I'd like to be a parent and have Frank tell me to have my son transfer to another school because I approached him about my son.

He's a person, for heaven's sake, not some kind of "god"!

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Hell will freeze over and Janet will be wearing pasties on the day that I'm "afraid" to talk with my sons baseball coach!

Sorry Been, anyone who wins 20 for the Metsies is a God!
In fact - anyone who wins 15 for the Mets will now be considered in the same category. LOL

Its...You are likely right.

Anyone who wins even ONE GAME for the Mets next year will be revered!

Talk about a bad team and a more mixed-up front office and organization. If they didn't have the cable tv revenue and had to depend on advertising revenue, they would have to sell the club and move it to Greenland!

BEENTHERE

Have you been taking your medicine as directed ???

It would appear not !!!

Chill out my friend--get ready to enjoy what is ahead of your in your sons baseball career as an IVY LEAGUER

Hey I have had kids not play for our team because they did not like rules or manner of coaching and there were others who wanted to be with us--- so be it-- I know we cannot please all of the people all of the time but I truly belive that the coaches rules are his bible-- abide by them or leave -- for some reasons the kids learn to adapt before the parents

TRhit

I love those guys Been - and always will, but it is as ugly as I can ever remember.

I also believe I have gotten off topic - and I apologize and am now cowering because I expect an attack anytime soon.

Beentheril

Did not want lights did not need lights we got by without batting tunnels and tarps. I know I am going to take some heat but parents raising money leaves the door open for other things.

Gotcha, Will.

You haven't seen the "light". (lol)

I'm old school in many ways myself...sometimes just a factor of age; but, I think parents should be able to talk with a coach about anything. I talk with my sons teachers. Isn't a coach a "teacher"?

--

TR...Yes, I'm on the pill!

Will

I agree-- they donate --- they think they own

Beenthere

Some coaches are just coaches others are teachers== a coach who doesnt teach surrounds himself with good teachers as coaches


JMO

TRhit

Frank Viola was suspended for 6 weeks last spring by the state athletic association, for conduct unbecoming at the end of his last playoff game, severe difference of opinion with head umpire. Suspension to start at the start of this season.

The rules, in my opinion, are good. I also, have a slight problem with number vi. I think the player needs to ask the coach what he can do do improve his playing time--however, as previously stated, some players may not be able to express themselves as well as they would like and I would think the coach would welcome a chance to clear the air with a parent about what the player needs to do. Sometimes the reason gets "changed" a little bit when relayed to the parent.

As far as this particular school having "badgering" parents, I'm sure that they exist, but in this particular case of the "top-notch" coach leaving because of them, respectfully, nothing could be further from the truth. Suffice it to say maybe the opposite was the case among many
other reasons. It's not always the best policy to paint a group of parents with the broad brush about things one may have heard and not experienced personally.

Moc1

I really dont see anything wrong with those rules. But for me personally I like to talk to my parents about their sons. I like to keep them informed of how they are doing and like wise for them to tell me if they are having any problems with the kids at home etc. I think that it is important to have a good open relationship with my players parents. What I dont do is get into conversations about other players with parents. Ill talk to them about their son but not about someone elses kid. But hey coachs are different and have different approachs that does not mean that one is right and the other is wrong its just the way it is.

Coach May,

You are wise and way more mature than many people.

My rule for talking to parents is:

"I will gladly talk to any parent about what he needs to work on. I will only discuss this in a one-on-one situation and will not discuss any other player on the team. I will not discuss playing time. If the discussion turns confrontational, it is over. I also prefer not to speak to the parent with the player present. The parent is welcome to hear anything I tell a player, but sometimes a player is not better off hearing a critique that is given to a parent - sometimes a parent gets defensive when you speak candidly."

http://www.highviewheat.com/index.asp

http://www.kristensfastpitchworld.com/index.asp

how about this for rule #6. i will not talk to parents about playing time until after i have talked with the player. i tell my parents early in the year.... let your son grow up and become an adult. if he has trouble with playing time, come and talk to me. if problems are not resolved, then the parents can come and talk to me. in order to do this they can come by after paractice, or make an appointment through the school. 2 big rules....1 never talk to me after a game about playing time and 2 don't call me at home about playing time.
i also tell them that if they (patents)come to me about playing time, i will be blatently honest. sometimes it is not what they want to hear.
this along with what agent dad said about talking only about their son.

AgentDad,

quote:

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I also prefer not to speak to the parent with the player present. The parent is welcome to hear anything I tell a player, but sometimes a player is not better off hearing a critique that is given to a parent - sometimes a parent gets defensive when you speak candidly."

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I am going to take some isue with that. There is a difference between speaking candidly and being rude and unflattering to a player. Why do you feel the need to "critique" a player. Good coaches will help a parent to understand what their child needs to work on without being negative or unflattering. It is called tact. Any coach that feels the need to not have a player present when talking to parents sounds to me like someon who wants to "set the parents straight". I don't think that is in the best interest of the player, parent, team, or team unity. I call tht kind of attitude "stinkin thinkin". I just do not understand the motivation. JMO

Coach May, I am with you. I always liked to talk to the parents about their children. It helps me to know how rose colored the glasses are.

the Florida Bombers
"I love the HSBBW"

in the few times i have had a parent come and talk to me, the player usually has a better understanding of what is going on, and why, better than the parents. i have had kids come by and tell me, after i had talked to the parents, and tell me "don't worry about them they are crazy" or something to that effect.

Will,

quote:

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Did not want lights did not need lights we got by without batting tunnels and tarps. I know I am going to take some heat but parents raising money leaves the door open for other things.

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That is such and anti-parent stance. I won't do the best for my kids so that I won't have to deal with parents, ever. I just cannot understand such a point of view. You don't have to cave to parents to have a booster club do things for the program.There is a big difference between having a booster club to raise money for things the program needs and caving to parents. You handle it like any other endeavor. You get a good president. One who will abide by the rules, and explain that no favoritism comes from volunteering to make a better place to play for the children in the community. Yours fear of parents borders on a phobia!

Mittman,

quote:

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i have had kids come by and tell me, after i had talked to the parents, and tell me "don't worry about them they are crazy" or something to that effect.

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LOL

the Florida Bombers
"I love the HSBBW"

Paul:

Everytime I see that ESPN commerical with the Mr. Met family in the car, I think about you and your family driving out of NY to NC


GO NAVY!!!BEAT army!!!!!

Parents

I think that any coach that does not want to talk to parents about any issue concerning their son, cannot jusify their position.

As long as the parents are not confrontational, there should be open lines of communication.

After High School the boys are men and can speak for themselves.

Lisa,

LOL - I think that is the Mets' new leftfielder.