For those who have been a baseball parent for 10+ years, how has time and experience changed your perspective on things?
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For me, one of the changes has been what earns my respect on the field.
Used to be that I respected players who played extremely well. And, I still do. That's not what has changed.
But, I have new found respect for players who just show up and are available to play all the time - regardless if they play great - especially at ages 16 and older. Seems like there's SO MANY injuries in this game. And, anyone who can consistently avoid them and always be there to play has my respect - whereas I never thought much about it in the past.
The other thing is respecting guys who play in college and play all four years and play all four years at the same college. Not that there's anything wrong with sitting the bench at times. And, there's nothing wrong with transferring. It's just that I never realized how hard it is to play all four years in college and do it at the same school. I just assumed it was the norm and took it for granted. But now I realize it's really hard to do and I respect anyone who does it, more than I did in the past.
I think over time, I have become less worried about favoritism, and more about performance. In youth rec ball I was constantly worrying about whether my sons would get picked for all-stars, and then, how much they would play. In high school it was wondering about whether he would make the team, which team, would he play, if not why not, always comparing to other kids. Travel was always some worry about team politics, too. Not that I ever did anything about these worries - we were not complaining parents - but I worried about them.
But once he got to college, I realized that (a) the team is a lot bigger and the coaches are professionals, (b) he's an adult and whatever happens is on him, and the way he takes care of his business, and (c) since I don't know any of the other players or families, I can relax and accept that those who earn playing time will play. Worries have shifted (performance, and pitching too much), but I can't do anything about them now, other than to offer him advice which he may or may not take.
It always was all on him, but it took until college for me to understand that.
Plus I no longer have to worry about the fact that I can't get his pants completely clean.
@Francis7 posted:But, I have new found respect for players who just show up and are available to play all the time - regardless if they play great - especially at ages 16 and older. Seems like there's SO MANY injuries in this game. And, anyone who can consistently avoid them and always be there to play has my respect - whereas I never thought much about it in the past.
Can you please explain the above statement.
There was a time early in my daughter's career when I worried about her being successful in games. I would hope that she would get a hit. Then, I wanted her to get two hits ... Somewhere along the line, I learned to just enjoy watching her play. I didn't worry about her having success. Instead, seeing how much she enjoyed the game took precedence.
@TPM posted:Can you please explain the above statement.
We have a kid on the HS team. Average fielder. Not a good hitter at all. In fact, they usually have the DH hit for him in games. But, because of position needs, he played the whole season (in the field). He only missed one game all year and that was one where the coach played all the second string guys.
No one thinks twice about him. But, I look at him and think "Here is a kid who goes to post EVERYDAY. He's never not available due to injury. That's value and it's not a value that every kid brings to the table."
That help explain it?
"Plus I no longer have to worry about the fact that I can't get his pants completely clean." @anotherparent
YES!! 
I understand what you are saying, he shows up every game. But players get hurt, some more often than others ( you know that) sometimes depending upon position and personally I don't hold it against them.
As far as sticking out all 4 years at a school, it didn't happen back when son was in college and it's obviously not happening now. For some yes, some no. There are all reasons why athletes leave.
That's why it's important to try to make sure that a player makes the right decision. It's tough these days. Players want to play, not warm the bench.
We hear about the bad stuff happening these days, players getting pushed out, players wanting more playing time so the portal has made it possible to do so. Read the other day that about 8 players entered the portal from Grand Canyon because coaches were leaving. So the asst who left for Ohio State came back to be HC. Now some of the players want back in.
I know of a player that was a walk on. Felt that the school would be the best for his intended major. He sat all freshman year. Got his big chance this year as an RF. As a result was recently named by a publication Freshman All American and playing on the Cape.
So circumstances do work out, don't work out. But there is no such thing as players that sit 4 years on the bench anymore.
JMO
Hmmm...the change in my (baseball) perspective after all these years.
I have 3 boys who all played rec, travel, high school, American Legion and one son who played in college. My wife and I have always supported our kids to whatever sport and activities they are interested in. It just happened to be baseball for all 3 of them as a primary sport. I think we always looked at things through their youthful eyes and tempered that with parental experience and wisdom. My wife and I were high school athletes and I played college tennis in the early 1980s. Little did I know how much college athletics had changed since my time as a D2 walkon who secured the #2 singles and #1 doubles positions for 4 years. My college athletic experience was mere childs-play in the context of my oldest son's recruiting experience, 4 years on a D1 HA baseball team, and getting an engineering degree. Very little prepared my wife and I to assist him except some common sense, networking, and a $hit-ton of research. Honestly, a lot of the recruiting was pure serendipity and old fashioned persistence. When I look back, I wonder how we did it because its getting blurrier every year.
The other side of the coin is that my two youngest son's opted to not play college baseball despite an opportunity to do so. They were significantly more mature than I gave them credit for. In both cases, college baseball was not a good fit for them and they knew it. Smart kids that decided to focus on their educations.
Being honest with yourself and knowing what you want to get out of life at 17-18 years old is very, very hard. It seems be getting harder and harder each day, and making educational and athletic decisions at a young age have become more and more important. I can't imagine how difficult it is for parents right now, and its not getting any easier.
As always, JMO.
Hmmm. Here’s what I’ve learned:
1. Please just enjoy the days on the small field. You should not be worried about rankings and twitter followers. Focus on getting better and having fun. It actually could be the most fun you’ll ever have playing baseball.
2. At any stage do not worry about rankings and twitter followers. Even at the highest level it’s capricious. Plus, to steal a line from one of my favorite poems: comparing yourself to others will make you either “vain or bitter, for there will always be greater and lesser persons than yourself.”
3. As a parent (stealing this one from a friend) “fug dem white pants.” They are only going to get dirty anyway. Hahahaha It’s also a metaphor for not sweating the small stuff in life.
4. As much as possible, be the parent not the coach, agent or AD. If you are the coach, figure out ways to turn it off when needed so that your entire relationship isn’t just the sport. You should be your kid’s safe haven and North Star.
5. Be realistic and listen to criticisms but also believe in your kid. My son’s first HS coach rarely played him in the field, had him bunt 4 times in a play off game and had someone pinch run for him at least 50% of the time. If we had let his opinion be the last word I’m not sure where my son would be.
6. You cannot protect your kid from everything. Life is hard. Sports are hard. Baseball is harder. The longer you protect them from disappointment the harder it will be when they have to live through it.
7. Enjoy every moment of the journey. There are so many great memories from sharing hotel rooms to save $$, long car rides, rain delays, team parties, championship wins and rough losses. My kids learned discipline, humility and teamwork over their collective 30+ years of sports. Whether your done after HS, after college or beyond (I have one of each), the friendships and memories last a lifetime.
@anotherparent posted:But once he got to college, I realized that ….., (b) he's an adult and whatever happens is on him, and the way he takes care of his business ….. I can relax and accept that those who earn playing time will play. Worries have shifted (performance, and pitching too much), but I can't do anything about them now, other than to offer him advice which he may or may not take.
It always was all on him, but it took until college for me to understand that.
I agree with this completely. Well said. It’s how I feel. It’s a cool journey. A Facebook post 9 year share popped up today of a cool catch he had on the little fields in districts and I juxtapose that against the man in a tux last night at a wedding. The things I used to think mattered don’t matter nearly as much today. I think that also comes from knowing the journey is about to end. There isn’t anything beyond college baseball wise.
I was a baseball dad for 20 years. I am a post-baseball dad for 5 years.
My evolution:
•swept up in the sub-12 year old baseball frenzy [5 - 12 yrs],
•set HS ball as the ultimate level of achievement goal and supported/encouraged/overly pushed the goal [12- 14],
•fell into the rabbit hole of learning all things baseball for players [12 - 21],
•found some mentors for my son who was deciding to pursue baseball [11 - 14],
•understood that college baseball was a very real possibility and did a years long in-depth dive into all things college baseball which wrapped around and added pro ball potential and issues (e.g., college v. pro) [16 -18],
•suffered through 3 awful college baseball years,
•floated through a senior dream season,
•cut 10 years off my life (stress) during a brief pro career [22-25],
•watching a very successful next 40 unfolding [26 - 30].
Every stage brought lessons and also stuff I wish I could take back or do over. The friends I met along the way - soley due to baseball - continue to reverberate even after I've moved on and those people have enriched my family's life.
Rule 1: your player is never the exception to any rule.
Rule 2: there are exceptions for every rule.
Rule 3: academics is far more important than baseball .
Rule 4: baseball is pretty darn important.
Rule 5: if you can, refer to Rule 3 and leverage baseball into the best academic institution possible. (I am prepared to explain what I mean.)
Rule 6: every player in the US with a potential MLB tool will be found.
Rule 7: life after baseball will be longer than life playing baseball.
Ryle 8: when your player hangs it up, your measure of success will be watching him play catch with his son/daughter.
10 years in -
Most important thing
- How much does your player want it?
Second most important thing
- Coach with high EQ.
Other important things
- Little League is golden. Don't take it too seriously, and enjoy the fun. Baseball doesn't get any better than this, fun-wise.
- Club coaches who know what they're doing and are interested in developing players are really really really really really rare. When you find one, stay with them.
- Lots of guys played college ball, many less have made it to the pros. Try to get trained by the guys who were in the pros, their level of knowledge and training is a quantum leap up.
- The college and pro/prospect sorting process is pretty ruthless, and highly efficient.
- Baseball is guy-land. Lots of egos; everyone is an expert. Communication is lacking. Lots of opaqueness in decision-making. Guys love to create tons of rule, and then violate them. Expect to regularly experience things in a way that benefits someone, with an outcome steered towards a specific end, not in a way that reflects fairness or reality. But also...see the previous point.
- As a mom, you will never be taken seriously, even if you know way more.
From having been through the journey myself from LL through college (high school in two other sports) I looked at my kid’s journey as their turn. I can only think of two times I was nervous at all. The first was when my son had a serious injury and surgery when we thought schools were about to make offers. It changed the journey. But my son taught me if you’re determined it will happen. It’s the old “you don’t lose when you get knocked down” theory. The second time was when he was hitting .244 a month into soph college season. He figured he was one more weak weekend from being benched. There were a couple of top prospects behind him. He had a great weekend. End of concern.
My daughter (softball) taught me completely different personalities can gain the same result. My son had an intense desire to be perfect from the time he was little. She never practiced away from teams until high school. I didn’t see her as wanting to play college softball. We rarely discussed it. She grew. The intensity kicked in. She became an “in your face” leader. She worked harder than anyone to get to the next level in softball while playing three sports. I never had a worry moment with my daughter. She was a fourth outfielder for four years. She accepted her role and had a great time. She chose academics over playing time with her college decision. She got playing time in two-thirds of the games in college.
There are some incredibly good posts in this thread. No way I can add value to the perspective as a parent. It has been covered beautifully. So I will take a different slant on this and talk about how my perspective has changed on the game.
Today’s players have access to training and instruction that wasn’t available 30 years ago. The challenge is finding the right instructor/coach/travel org. A bad choice can be crippling and parents (for the most part) don’t do enough homework before making a selection. Kids play way too many games and don’t practice/learn the fundamentals of the game. Kids can throw harder, hit the ball harder, and look better in a uniform than ever before. But most don’t know how to play the game in a way that helps a team win a game. Until they get to college. Where they either learn or get cut. I hate that youth baseball has been monetized for the benefit of organizers and to the detriment of players and their families. Private scouting orgs (like PG, PBR, VTool) are not good for the game. They do way more harm than good. They (PG in particular) have brainwashed the public into believing that they are an essential service that must be utilized in order to climb the baseball ladder - and it’s categorically untrue for 80% of youth baseball players (including HS players). Parents and players are swept up in the D1 or bust mentality and the majority of them are delusional in their belief that this goal will be achieved. The scouting services feed this delusion by incessant social media posts about players that artificially inflate the value of these players in the minds of the players and their parents. Because of this they overlook realistic opportunities and pursue options that are unrealistic. Attempts to explain the current reality of college baseball to players falls on deaf ears. Until they experience it firsthand. Then they understand but it’s often too late at that point. The divide between fantasy and reality is at an all time high. Never before has college baseball been more competitive, and at the highest levels it has never been more cut throat. Texas A&M (my alma mater) just had the best season in program history. And during exit interviews they cut 13 players. That is unprecedented. It’s not what have you done for me lately - it’s what have you done for me today! D1/D2 college baseball is a full time job. D3 is a much more balanced approach to college life as a student athlete. More families should also be looking in the direction of JuCo, D2, and NAIA - all of which are widely misunderstood and still looked down on by way too many people. Baseball is and always will be the best game ever invented. But for those that want to play as long as possible it’s high time to ingest a couple tablespoons of reality. Knowing who to listen to is a huge part of that. So much misinformation. So many pretenders trying to build their own brand on the backs of unsuspecting players. Players and parents have got to get better at figuring out the system before they have been played. To do this you may have to be willing to act counter to the majority. All this is JMO but it’s a very educated O.
To add to adbono’s post …
Travel baseball at the 17u level has become more about being seen and looking good rather than winning.
When I was a kid playing Legion I just wanted to win every game. When my son played 17u after his soph and junior years (minus injury time) it was about equal playing time and getting exposure. The team was deep and competitive. They won more than they lost in big tournaments. But, the primary goal wasn’t to win. It was about exposure.
After senior year my son had some serious rehabbing to do to get back to college player strength. His focus was working out. He decided to play Legion so he wouldn’t have an intense traveling baseball schedule. He said several league games were like taking batting practice after travel ball. But, when interviewed after the team won the section he said it was great to play “win or go home for the season” baseball again.
It was very competitive once in the semi finals of districts, sections and the state tournament. A lot of travel players played just enough Legion ball to qualify.
@RJM posted:To add to adbono’s post …
Travel baseball at the 17u level has become more about being seen and looking good rather than winning.
When I was a kid playing Legion I just wanted to win every game. When my son played 17u after his soph and junior years (minus injury time) it was about equal playing time and getting exposure. The team was deep and competitive. They won more than they lost in big tournaments. But, the primary goal wasn’t to win. It was about exposure.
I am in this place right now (playing big 17u tournaments). I am much more relaxed during the games as it is not about winning anymore. I also less stressed if my son is not having a good game as I know the college coaches want to see him fail as much as succeed (and see his respond/reaction). However, I am just as stressed as ever (if not more) as my stress is just transferred to this whole recruiting roller coaster ride...
For sure 17U is more about being seen. I would take it a step further. It's pretty miserable in some situations. I got lucky. By the end of 16U, my son was set...knew where he was going, weighed his offers.
Summer of 17U many of his travel teammates where still trying to get offers. Every tournament for them was a stressful event trying to do something to standout and get noticed. Everything was about showcasing and no one played the game for wins and losses. And they were miserable if they didn't do something that they could use for recruitment.
@Francis7 posted:For sure 17U is more about being seen. I would take it a step further. It's pretty miserable in some situations. I got lucky. By the end of 16U, my son was set...knew where he was going, weighed his offers.
Summer of 17U many of his travel teammates where still trying to get offers. Every tournament for them was a stressful event trying to do something to standout and get noticed. Everything was about showcasing and no one played the game for wins and losses. And they were miserable if they didn't do something that they could use for recruitment.
I didn’t see it as a miserable summer. My son played with very talented players. The only issue was dream school v. P5 v. mid major. The only stress kids had was getting what they wanted. But the fall back positions for each was strong.
Outside the team my son knew plenty of other players who were stressed about the process.
@Francis7 posted:For those who have been a baseball parent for 10+ years, how has time and experience changed your perspective on things?
I told my son many years ago, if you had a little brother I could really make a player out of him, because I have learned from the mistakes I made with you. And mistakes I made.
Francis
since your son received his desired College offer at age 16 why not play in the 18 and under league. His increased reflex actions and knowledge of the game will prepare him for next level.
Bob
@Consultant posted:Francis
since your son received his desired College offer at age 16 why not play in the 18 and under league. His increased reflex actions and knowledge of the game will prepare him for next level.
Bob
The kids in my son’s program were encouraged to play 22u the year after committing. It was mostly D3 players and other college commits.
I have had a few "whoa" moments along the way:
1) Leaving a daddy ball team to go to an "organizational" travel ball team thinking the coaching would be better, only later to find out that it was coached by.....dads of players. Yes, dads can coach; some better than others. After little league, having coaches that don't have kids on the team is a much better situation.
2) After son committed to a college......finding out that the conference of the team really mattered for the draft according to folks on hsbbweb. It didn't.
3) The player "will have to hang up the cleats one day" and, "play (watch) every game as if it were the last". That "one day" will come. When I thought 'that day' came, I was not ready. I need to be better prepared.
4) You never really stop worrying. What you worry about changes as your son progresses.
@Consultant posted:Francis
since your son received his desired College offer at age 16 why not play in the 18 and under league. His increased reflex actions and knowledge of the game will prepare him for next level.
Bob
Loyalty to the organization was a factor. They helped him get those offers after his 16U season and they wanted/needed him for summer 17U. In retrospect, maybe it wasn't the best playing experience (for a few different reasons). But it seemed like the right thing to do at the time.
@adbono I am in agreement with your post about what players need to do because of the unbelievable competition that exists today. I also believe that often taking the road a player never considered, example heading to Juco, can never hurt, as long as the program is reputable in preparing players for 4 year programs or the draft. I also believe that for many, more practice is way more important these days than showing up for showcases and tournaments before HS.
A&M HC boasted about his success on TV about coming into his first year and having to go into the portal. I think they had more grads than any SEC program. I looked this morning and they have 18 2022 commits, maybe not all will make it to campus, may lose current players to draft, but with getting back to the 35 man roster next season is cutting 13 actually that unexpected? Just using A&M as an example, it seems to me that many top conference programs still have a very big class of freshman coming in next season.
I think that it's really important now than ever that players make wise decisions so they don't have to keep moving around, as well as an understanding what is and should be the ultimate goal, which is to graduate and get an education. Everything else, IMO, is icing on the cake.
1. Son transitioned from a 'local' travel team to a 'national' team in sophomore year. That improved his exposure, but what it really did was improve the level of competition in practices and games, which in turn made him a much better player. He improved significantly from freshman year to senior year and I give the travel program and coach much of the credit for that.
2. Joy is an underrated intangible. When my son is smiling and interacting with the entire team, he rakes and plays great d. When he's in his head, not so much. I did notice this and since sophomore year my only advice to him pre-game is to smile.
3. School > Program. Son is going to a HA - his travel coach wanted him to try for a 'bigger' school and my son questioned his choice a bit early on. Since then, we've seen five kids we know get screwed in the process with P5 schools thanks to coaching changes or lowered interest in the kid. The baseball side of the equation is out of our control and extremely volatile; the academic part, much less so.
@OskiSD, your last point is something worth more discussion. I alluded to it vaguely in my earlier post but you were more specific.
Travel ball orgs habitually put their interests ahead of their players. They push players to the biggest best known programs possible in order to build their own brand. This is almost always not in the best interest of the player. Travel ball coaches will commonly “encourage” a player to take a walk on offer at a D1 over a scholarship to a JuCo. We all know how that works out. At least you should. Just another reason to understand the process
Things I’ve learned:
Travel Ball is a joke. A complete and total clown show. Take it ALL with a grain of salt. Use it for experience and hopefully get a recruiting video out of it but know going in you are being completely scammed 100% of the way. Try not to spend one more dollar than you absolutely have to.
For position players: a really fantastic hitting instructor is worth his weight in gold.
Extremely talented baseball players sit the bench in college, sometimes for four years. Get a great education and hopefully have lifetime bonds with your teammates, that should be your only expectation.
For position players, most especially for those who don’t play a ton in the spring, if you don’t play in a summer College League you are in for a world of hurt when you get to fall, and it’s reasonable to question how serious you are about the game.
A ton of dad’s and players talk the talk, but ultimately a lot of them are really D1 or bust when it comes down to it, and you see a lot of players dropping out of baseball after their freshman year of college.
If you are a pitcher pitching in a summer College League and you aren’t 100% in control of your pitch count and innings pitched, and allow a summer College League coach to over pitch you, you are a freaking idiot.
@adbono posted:@OskiSD, your last point is something worth more discussion. I alluded to it vaguely in my earlier post but you were more specific.
Travel ball orgs habitually put their interests ahead of their players. They push players to the biggest best known programs possible in order to build their own brand. This is almost always not in the best interest of the player. Travel ball coaches will commonly “encourage” a player to take a walk on offer at a D1 over a scholarship to a JuCo. We all know how that works out. At least you should. Just another reason to understand the process
It's so true. Daughter in the same situation with her Club volleyball team, which is a top-10 national program. Their collateral leads with the P5 schools (Nebraska, Penn State, Wisconsin, Stanford). My daughter is following my son to the same HA school so she isn't on the front page
We had to have heart-to-heart talks with both travel coaches to explain our perspective. Worked out fine, but I agree a kid + family really need to think through the school piece. A kid in our area got 'placed' by his travel coach (not ours) at a P5 that's connected to that particular travel program. Wasn't a fit at all and the kid transferred. I'm sure the P5 commit looked good on their website, though.
@3and2Fastball posted:If you are a pitcher pitching in a summer College League and you aren’t 100% in control of your pitch count and innings pitched, and allow a summer College League coach to over pitch you, you are a freaking idiot.
While I don't believe that all travel ball is a joke, I am all in on the above.
The pitcher should be talking to the pitching coach weekly and together should understand for the yearly total so far, how much is too much.
What I've learned.....
Let me first say my son has played baseball since 5/6 years old, high school, college, minors, and currently mlb.
I've never realized how much pressure is put on students and athletes to succeed at their sport. Many athletes have the drive to maintain their talent, to get better, bigger, stronger. It at times are unreal in my eyes (got as far as high school sports) their drive and dedication. It's one thing to satisfy and be happy with your own self and accomplishments, it a totally different scenario when you have to please everyone else.
We have heard all the unfortunate struggles with well known spotlight athletes, high school/college athletes who appeared to have it all yet were struggling with how others viewed them or lack of excellence, and ended up taking their own lives. I can imagine those parents thinking if we showed their son/daughter enough love and support all these years, were we too expecting/demanding, did we push too hard to have them put up great stats and numbers, did they choose the ideal college, were they truly happy.
It's so easy now, social media makes it convenient and easy to say whatever you want (I guess here is no exception). When the going is good you are on top of the world. Fans will say great things to you and about you, make you feel like there is no place like here, you love them for supporting you and giving your existence some value. But when things turn bad it gets ugly. You no longer produce the results, you question your mechanics, your approach, thinking, talent, etc and there are so many things swimming in your head that you are so confused. People try to be helpful suggesting things to try but that just adds to the confusion. Your once supportive fans have now turned and are saying negative things about you, how terrible you are, you should be benched or traded. I get it, everyone is entitled to their own opinion and they pay good money and expect to see excellence, yet think about the player, they are just like you and me. Then things start to improve, you break your slump, those that hated you think you are the greatest thing since sliced bread. Yet in the back of your mind you are just waiting for it to turn once again, maybe days, weeks, months, next season. You now have expectations that you must live up to under a microscope for everyone to watch.
Athletes should have access to sport psychologists during both good and bad times. The amount of pressure they put on themselves are unlike most people would ever experience or comprehend. Some things they just can't tell their parents or even spouse since it is difficult to relate with, especially when we haven't been through it ourselves. There are no high school/college classes or parent upbringing videos to teach how to handle baseball success and failures. Once a star athlete in little league, now in travel ball just being average, to high school barely making the team. We tell our kid we support him, we love him, it doesn't matter if he never plays, but does the kid buy into it and feel good about themself?
Athletes at the next level are unique. For many their identity is the sport the play in, that is all they know and relate with. It is their occupation, their destiny of life. They still enjoy playing the game but through the many seasons it has gone from purely a game to an occupation. Take away the media, the opportunity, the glory, and now what happens to their identity, did that get taken away also?
My son in currently in a good place playing ball. He knows (as do we) that the good times will be replaced by bad times, your playing clock will expire. You only have good fans when it's good, these same ones will turn on you when bad. Enjoy your experience now like their is no tomorrow, you may be 1 career ending injury away. Put as much effort in helping others and the community, be the role model to kids and they happiness you give by taking pictures with them, signing autographs, giving them your ball or bat. Yeah it may take some time and effort on your part but remember when you were that age and met next level athletes.
Growing up I always thought the athletes had it all, they were lucky (and rich). I never realize what these athletes, parents, and siblings had to go through to get to where they are at. Yes they are fortunate, but sometimes I am content just to be just plain old me, just responding to a website like this without any pressures!
Most fans don’t go to a MLB park or any other major league venue more than a handful of times per year. Observing them I feel, they expect the players to act like “this” game is special because they are there. It must be played like it’s the seventh game of the World Series.
Fans don’t realize it’s just another day at the office for the player. They might not be 100% mentally into the game that day. They may have a nagging injury. There may be a sick kid at home. There may be a troubled marriage. But the player better play focused like it’s the seventh game of the World Series.
Imagine a bunch of people at your office yelling at you, “You suck” because you spilled your coffee on your desk.
Just an FYI.
Almost every college sports program and professional sports teams have sports psychologists or trained individuals to speak with athletes.
@Trust In Him posted:What I've learned.....
Let me first say my son has played baseball since 5/6 years old, high school, college, minors, and currently mlb.
I've never realized how much pressure is put on students and athletes to succeed at their sport. Many athletes have the drive to maintain their talent, to get better, bigger, stronger. It at times are unreal in my eyes (got as far as high school sports) their drive and dedication. It's one thing to satisfy and be happy with your own self and accomplishments, it a totally different scenario when you have to please everyone else.
We have heard all the unfortunate struggles with well known spotlight athletes, high school/college athletes who appeared to have it all yet were struggling with how others viewed them or lack of excellence, and ended up taking their own lives. I can imagine those parents thinking if we showed their son/daughter enough love and support all these years, were we too expecting/demanding, did we push too hard to have them put up great stats and numbers, did they choose the ideal college, were they truly happy.
It's so easy now, social media makes it convenient and easy to say whatever you want (I guess here is no exception). When the going is good you are on top of the world. Fans will say great things to you and about you, make you feel like there is no place like here, you love them for supporting you and giving your existence some value. But when things turn bad it gets ugly. You no longer produce the results, you question your mechanics, your approach, thinking, talent, etc and there are so many things swimming in your head that you are so confused. People try to be helpful suggesting things to try but that just adds to the confusion. Your once supportive fans have now turned and are saying negative things about you, how terrible you are, you should be benched or traded. I get it, everyone is entitled to their own opinion and they pay good money and expect to see excellence, yet think about the player, they are just like you and me. Then things start to improve, you break your slump, those that hated you think you are the greatest thing since sliced bread. Yet in the back of your mind you are just waiting for it to turn once again, maybe days, weeks, months, next season. You now have expectations that you must live up to under a microscope for everyone to watch.
Athletes should have access to sport psychologists during both good and bad times. The amount of pressure they put on themselves are unlike most people would ever experience or comprehend. Some things they just can't tell their parents or even spouse since it is difficult to relate with, especially when we haven't been through it ourselves. There are no high school/college classes or parent upbringing videos to teach how to handle baseball success and failures. Once a star athlete in little league, now in travel ball just being average, to high school barely making the team. We tell our kid we support him, we love him, it doesn't matter if he never plays, but does the kid buy into it and feel good about themself?
Athletes at the next level are unique. For many their identity is the sport the play in, that is all they know and relate with. It is their occupation, their destiny of life. They still enjoy playing the game but through the many seasons it has gone from purely a game to an occupation. Take away the media, the opportunity, the glory, and now what happens to their identity, did that get taken away also?
My son in currently in a good place playing ball. He knows (as do we) that the good times will be replaced by bad times, your playing clock will expire. You only have good fans when it's good, these same ones will turn on you when bad. Enjoy your experience now like their is no tomorrow, you may be 1 career ending injury away. Put as much effort in helping others and the community, be the role model to kids and they happiness you give by taking pictures with them, signing autographs, giving them your ball or bat. Yeah it may take some time and effort on your part but remember when you were that age and met next level athletes.
Growing up I always thought the athletes had it all, they were lucky (and rich). I never realize what these athletes, parents, and siblings had to go through to get to where they are at. Yes they are fortunate, but sometimes I am content just to be just plain old me, just responding to a website like this without any pressures!
Thank you for this post.
@TPM posted:Just an FYI.
Almost every college sports program and professional sports teams have sports psychologists or trained individuals to speak with athletes.
It's really hard to bare your soul to a company pay-rolled therapist. Even though the confidentiality is likely there, you're never going to completely drop your guard (and what good is that?). The mental health services need to be there, but there needs to be enough separation to allow complete candor.
@JucoDad posted:It's really hard to bare your soul to a company pay-rolled therapist. Even though the confidentiality is likely there, you're never going to completely drop your guard (and what good is that?). The mental health services need to be there, but there needs to be enough separation to allow complete candor.
Agree, but many have therapists not on payroll and you can use on the outside and covered by insurance.
A lot of incredible advice here...
For me- The little league times are the best.
teaching your son's and watching them grow.
tee ball ,then machine /coach pitch then player pitch..
then they start getting bigger and better. some slower and some faster...
then comes the drama: the coaches ..the all stars...crazy baseball Mom's and Dad's and the kids who peak at 12.
it is as interesting as it gets..I love it.
and then there is that travel ball...
Around 13 and 14 yrs .. are you in or out? Larger fields and maybe concentrate on one sport or do something else.
HS ball is on the Horizon. if you are serious still you are playing travel ball.
now comes the HS ball - where if you were hanging on, or don't love it or peaked at 12 ..then you may hang it up..
Similar drama to little league but more advanced stuff...everyone here has had many years of LL and travel ball drama.
Fresh team /JV/Varsity .. the journey.. depends on the coach, the school , the competition and of course.. the desire and talent of the player... and more travel ball.. and personal coaches/training
If you made it this far..the players then get categorized.
maybe 1-3 % Freaks/ can't miss and the next 3-7% really good /college potential. ..
which leaves the other 90% .. Some of these 90% may become late bloomers and many fall off the map and quit. but the others are there to compete and have fun..
If your kid feels they have a chance.. then its serious Travel ball ..tourneys and showcases.. some good ..most worthless..lot of $$ and family time spent
but at least you have the memories..
for the lucky ones it is off to college BB
where everyone quickly finds out that college baseball is a Business...
D 1 ..2..3.. Juco...NAIA?
education? location? scholorships? it is a messy minefield. t
hen there is the new , somewhat powerful transfer portal equation..
The Freaks got their scholorships and/or drafted long ago...
for those other kids (and parents) it is not so easy..
making the right choice is broken down to 3 major things..
-knowing where you fit
-going where you are loved.
-gut instinct
you can say there are other factors..but I have narrowed it down.
ask me how? well ,my kid is on his 3rd D1 mid major.. in 3 years. it hasn't been an easy road but it is about life experience.. he has made many friends in all these places.
some here say focus on getting the education.. and say that is the most important factor...
and for some that is great advice...if you want to be a doctor/lawyer/ professional/ ..it is all good.
but I say mostly otherwise.. I think the experience is worth more than you could ever earn.
go where you are going to play. you can always work your whole life.. you can't always play baseball..
it is always more about "Who you know" then "what you know" but it is great to have both...
if you are really really blessed then you play pro ball.. the draft or lack of.. the agents.. rookie ball and then the minors... it makes college ball seem like little league.
If you thought college was a business then watch out..
my kid tells me if this doesn't happen for him (after a covid grad year and maybe 4th school!) he wants to play in S korea or Japan or even Australia..
it is all about the love of the game..and the Dream...
good luck to all here.. life is short.
Have fun and create memories
@keewart posted:I have had a few "whoa" moments along the way:
2) After son committed to a college......finding out that the conference of the team really mattered for the draft according to folks on hsbbweb. It didn't.
True that. The kid was lucky to be taken under the wing of an MLB scout that is pretty high in his org. He always told the kid "It doesn't matter where you go, if you're good we'll find you".
That said when the kid had to transfer, and was looking DII, he told him if he was going to go that route he better really rake.
@SomeBaseballDad posted:True that. The kid was lucky to be taken under the wing of an MLB scout that is pretty high in his org. He always told the kid "It doesn't matter where you go, if you're good we'll find you".
That said when the kid had to transfer, and was looking DII, he told him if he was going to go that route he better really rake.
One thing that most successful baseball journeys have in common is that at some point a special person took them under their wing. I happen to think this is somewhat unique. Baseball is more about fostering long term relationships than other sports. There is more of the human element involved. Just one more bonus!