The Coach of Oz

In my book the players and only the players are the ones I want approaching our coaches or myself about playing time etc. Parents can apporach me regarding college and recruiting et al but it had better be back at the hotel. Many make an appointment to meet with me which is great---but if a
coach spells out the game plan to the players at the start of season and speaks with them regularly you won't usually have the problem

I have been doing this many moons with HS kids and I have come to find that they are way smarter and cognizant of things than we give them credit for--
example: a few years back we were in a tournament and one of our outfielders had a few funky games so we felt a game on his butt in the dugout might help help him (he had directly cost us two games). So we sit him--we get to a critical point late in the game and we need a pinch-hitter in this critical spot ---I call his name to grab a bat and he tells me he doesn't feel like hitting---

OH REALLY !!!---so we grab the player next to him --that kid gets a hit to win the game---after the game I go to congratulate him and he laughs (here is the smarts parts) and says to me "If he didn't give you s h i t I never would have gotten up. He gave me the chance and I took it and used it". And the player who hit had been with us for a number of years and knew our procedures---He is now playing at Ithaca where he is a key contributor off the bench and Coach loves him because of his attitude

Just like teachers (which most of them are) HS coaches should be very approachable and available to his players. Coaches should be teaching baseball and life lessons, therefore IMO they should communicate with their players when approached.

If the coach is making changes to the lineup he should explain why without critizing anyone specifically. If a player wants a private meeting the coach should grant the meeting. But after the meeting the topic should be closed and everyone should accept their role.

RJM,
Welcome to the dark side. The only thing you can do is teach your son to nod his head, look the coach in the eye and say, Yes Sir." to everything. And then play the best he can regardless of what you or your son thinks. Not very appealing to any parent, but the coach is the coach and he is the boss. It truly stinks, but remember, the season is short. I believe you already know all of this so I am assumimg you just need a place to vent.

Good luck, maybe your son can transfer to a private school.

i/son wouldn't send an e-mail to a coach. unless off season and coach initiates it.

if a coach needs to talk to me ,it's face to face. i have no touble talking, but typing....the only reason my post's are so short is i type w/one finger. in person i can talk, i've had jehovah witness's leave my house.



player's only. face to face,lets you know your place.

let me add. i believe what goes on at huntin camp, stay's at huntin camp. parents shouldn't know what the coach say's ......unless it's physical abuse. college will bring it's share of mental abuse, but that's another story.

my finger is cramped up.

Coaches should always be willing to talk to players, but they shouldn't have to talk about the same things over and over again. If he's discussed playing time with a player (or whatever the topic might be) then the subject should be closed.

But to say "nobody talk to me about anything" is unacceptable in my book. And to say my son shouldn't tell me what he talks to his coach about is also ridiculous - he's my kid, we talk about what goes on in his life. There shouldn't be secrets on the field or off. Would you feel the same way about a teacher - your child should never share with you what a teacher says? Coaches have no business saying ANYTHING to a player that can't be repeated at home around the dinner table.

mythreesons

Sometimes there are things that are said between student/teacher or player/coach that need to go no further than between the two parties--parents do not need to know ALL THE THINGS THEY DISCUSS---my boys had great relationships with thier teachers and coaches and I KNOW there were things I did not know about

I think it is interesting that he jumped to the conclusion you son was unable to compose an email. He sounds angry and is projecting. Our season is almost over. When does your season end?

Parents please take this to heart.
Cut the cord, before you cause problems for your player.
Nothing good will come out of any conversation you or your son has with the coach.
Trust me on this one.
Play the game on the field, be a team player.
Out hustle everyone around you, and do what the coach tells you to do with a smile on your face and a hop in your step.
Don't talk to your son about what the coach did are did not do, it's counter productive.
Parent's stay away from the complainor's, Far away.

Just for your info, My son would strangle me if I even came close to talking to one of his coaches. And he means it.

JMO
EH

RJM,
When he made his proclamation to the little people, did he do so from behind a curtain, while pulling a lot of levers and stepping on peddles?

I'd say the guys about a taco short of a combination plate and close enough to a meltdown that the problem may solve itself.

If this coach is acting like this he will melt down. But if your standing too close to the situation when he melts down you will be burned as well.

Stand back and let it play out. These things have a way of working out.

CPLZ

"Little People" ---these are HS kids

Here we go again.

Ain't that the truth !!1!

quote:

Originally posted by TRhit:
CPLZ

"Little People" ---these are HS kids

I don't think he meant "little people" as in high school players. I think he meant "little people" as in looking down on the peasants from his throne.

You know in the movie: The little people the OZ ruled over - he was behind the curtain pulling levers and pushing pedals.

Man I loved that movie when I was growing up. And the 10 Commandments with Charlton Heston. That was another classic.

Oh sorry , didnt mean to hijack the thread.

LOL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The wizard of OZ scared me to death as a little kid. The scene where the flying monkeys tore the stuffing out of the straw man. The mental image of a person being chased down and having his guts ripped out while he was still alive by evil minions that flew gives me the creeps. I still hate monkeys.

And coaches that don't commnicate to stay on topic.
(freakin flying monkeys are going to give me nightmares tonight).

I've never understood what's so dang hard about explaining a lineup.

When guys are battling for a job they both get their chances and to the winner go the abs.
When one guy wins a job it is the others' guys job to do what he can to help the team; ph, run bases, warm guys up and do his best in practice to make me think he should get another chance....

I get a few parents that ask me; but I usually say, "they are battling for that job" and I invite them to watch practice if they wish. I never mention the other kids name; if they ask for weaknesses i list them; it's not that hard as I have never had a kid drafted from my school.

So far this year we've had so many injuries and weekly ineligibles we do not have a set lineup; lots of guys getting to play (of course we aren't winning right now so maybe you take all of my opinions with that huge block of salt)

Hey you could have a Middle School football coach like I had. He suited up one day to show us how weak we were. He made us try to tackle him. He put it on us pretty good. Then there was the time he tied a 75lb dummy to the goal post with a rope and swung it at us as we had to try and hit it as it was coming full speed at us. That was nice. And of course the dreaded pink panties. Yep if you missed a tackle or a block etc he would make you wear pink panties outside your uniform pants at practice. The only way you could get them off was to Bit*h someone and then they had to wear them. Let me tell you the last guy you wanted to find yourself across the line from was a guy wearing those things.

He finally flamed out. He got caught hammering budweisers in the parking lot before practice one day. Boy those were the days.

Hey things dont seem so bad now do they? lol

That dam wicked witch. I had an Aunt that looked just like her. She scared me more than those Monkeys.

quote:

Originally posted by RJM:

quote:

Originally posted by TRhit:
CPLZ

"Little People" ---these are HS kids

I don't think he meant "little people" as in high school players. I think he meant "little people" as in looking down on the peasants from his throne.

Bingo...we were talking about the great and powerful oz....and man, those monkeys gave me nightmares.

I'm falling out of my chair, laughing, thinking about lining up vs. some really pi$$ed off dude with pink panties over his uniform...that's priceless!

I grew in a neighborhood of nothing but boy's and of course I was the youngest.
We had woods, tree camps and under ground tunnels.
Fir tree's that were 200 to 300 feet tall.
And we would climb to the top and swing the tree back and forth.

Well my first venture into the woods was right after seeing the Wizard of OZ the night before.
The older boy's led us out there with the secret knock on the tree stump.
And about half way out they said,
Watchout for the Monkey People.

You can guess what happened then.
I've never been so terrified in my life when they all took off running from the monkeys and left me there peeing my pant's.

EH

I couldn't drink Maxwell House coffee as an adult due to the trauma of Wizard of Oz as a kid.

Sorry, I still say nobody has conversations with my kids that they can't tell me about. I talk to coaches about things that directly affect me, i.e., "great day for a ball game" or "boy, this is some spell of bad weather we're having". We've been very lucky - nothing that's required any intervention on our parts. (If my son told me that the coach told the team "don't talk to me", I would consider that cause to intervene. Although, honestly, my first thought would probably be that I doubt that's what he really said. I know that my kids frequently hear things coming out of my mouth that I never said. So that would be my first - and perhaps last - question... "did you really say...?")

But my kids and I talk about anything and everything we care to discuss and anyone who talks to my kids should know that there are no secrets in our house. I don't down-talk coaches - when my kids complain about a situation I help them work through things and suggest possible solutions. And many, many times the solution is simply to continue to play, do your best, accept the coach's judgement and wait for things to work themselves out.

#3 is my diplomat. He's always the last one off the field after practice and many times he and coach have a few minutes to shoot the breeze together while walking back up to the parking lot. They've had their differences, but have developed a mutual respect that leaves room to talk about just about anything. My son has learned, from a coach who's decisions he has often questioned (he's been a four year varsity starter) that coaching is way harder than it looks. While they don't always agree, they do always part with a handshake and a smile. Interacting with this coach - who is far from the best technical coach I've ever known - has taught my son how to handle himself like a man in spite of differences of opinion. I appreciate that.

Oh, and P.S. I think the Wizard of Oz was way scarier when you could only see it once a year on TV. My kids grew up watching it all the time on video... the flying monkeys lost the fear factor when you could just fast forward through them!

It's becoming clear to me that there are two kinds of people...

(1) Those who are afraid of flying monkeys.

(2) And those who suddenly ran into the kitchen to help Mom with something - ANYTHING, PLEASE! - when that horrid wicked witch appeared!!!

I remember waking up in the middle of the night and having to turn on a light to make sure my face hadn't really turned green!

Julie

You all need to go see Wicked.

Had two tvs in our house - a color set in the family room and black and white in the kitchen. Used to watch the witch on black and white, and the land of oz in color.

Definitely went out for snack when the monkeys came on!

The Wizard of Oz came out in theatres in re-release when my son was about 3. It was the first movie I took him to see. When those flying monkeys showed up on-screen, he stood up on his chair, shook his little fist at the screen and shouted, "I'll get you, you flying monkeys!"

As far as the whole coach/player/parent thing is concerned, I think everyone is really cranky these days...

quote:

I think everyone is really cranky these days...

I get a little cranky when my son is sent down to JV for a game as punishment for something he didn't do. Especially since he starts on varsity. And then he's threatened with being thrown off the team if what he didn't do the first time happens again. I also get a little cranky when he's called a liar and "not smart enough to pull off the lie." At least my son was smart enough to just take it and let it go in front of the coach. I've never intervened and I'm not going to start now.

.

quote:

Originally posted by MN-Mom:
I remember waking up in the middle of the night and having to turn on a light to make sure my face hadn't really turned green!

Julie

Just what is it with you folks up there in Minnesota?

And all these years I thought I was the only one scared to death once a year when The Wizard of OZ came on. It was the witch that got me, I thought she was looking and talking directly to me.

I wish I found this site early, I could have stopped therapy years ago.

Courage! What makes a king out of a slave? Courage! What makes the flag on the mast to wave? Courage! What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist, or the dusky dusk? What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Courage! What makes the sphinx the seventh wonder? Courage! What makes the dawn come up like thunder? Courage! What makes the Hottentot so hot? What puts the "ape" in apricot? What have they got that I ain't got?

this alway's makes me smile. we just don't see enough singing lions anymore.

A Lion's strength is judged by his ability to restrain it, not unleash it

quote:

Originally posted by MUFASA:
A Lion's strength is judged by his ability to restrain it, not unleash it

I have noticed that all of your posts thus far are like this one and have nothing to do with the topic at hand.

I am not sure you are aware of this, but this site is generally dedicated to "baseball" and not Zen Buddhism or other philisophical slant. I am hoping that you are not an Internet troll.

I've noticed the same thing about MUFASA CD.
If I remember correctly from my son's early years Mufasa is the name of a father lion in the movie "The Lion KIng".

A wise old sage who was killed in a stampede.

It seems he has been reborn here at HSBBW.

Aw, CD, can we at least have Zen Baseball? It worked for Saduhara (sp?) Oh.....

RJM, you've got a real winner there and we can hope he's on the way to self-destruction. If he's pulled this many tricks with your son, you know it's multiplied out with other players as well. As 55 said, it's getting on for the end of the season and it might be time for the 'smile and nod' response ---- smile, nod, and realize that this bozo is but a bird of passage in your son's life.

Has he been with the school long? Maybe burnout? These aren't rational responses. Maybe problems at home?

I might suggest keeping a running list of incidents. If, after the season is over and settled, they still seem as egregious, you could use the list as a basis for discussion with the coach or the AD.


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Many, many years ago there was a wonderful stage play called The Wiz (Great soundtrack, too. Forget the Diana Ross movie --- that was an embarassment and missed out all the best bits). Let me just say that the stage play got me right over Evil Monkey Trauma. They fronted the stage with a series of silver bars to allow the minimally dressed monkey gentleman a chance to dance their flight to Dorothy. Lucky, luck Dorothy..... )

Mark me down for the 'traumatized by the flying monkeys' group too.

quote:

Originally posted by Orlando:
Aw, CD, can we at least have Zen Baseball? It worked for Saduhara (sp?) Oh.....

Indeed we can

Was that Saduhara Oh or Sidhartha Oh btw?

Seriously, next to the Godfather, I believe the Wizard of Oz is one of the greatest movies of all time. I have watched it hundreds and hundreds of times. Love watching it with kids. No problem watching it by myself however