The Decision

First to determine, who is it not a good fit for, parent or player?

If my son was making a decision based soley upon where a friend was going, I'd steer him in another direction. JMO.

RYNO

I am with TPM---you do not commit to a school because a friend goes there

Sounds like there are two strikes against the school...going there because of the friend as you know is not a smart decision due to the other two strikes.

As parents, you need to point that out in a constructive manner which I am sure you would do, but don't let him make the mistake without your advice.

FIT, while it has only three letters is a big word when choosing a college. First of all I would have a "fit" if were my son told me this was the ONLY reason he was selecting this college.

On a serious note: Fit entails MANY things with athletics and academics being the most discussed. Distance, location, cost, rural/urban setting, size are just a few of the things that need to be considered. Parents need to be involved in this process because some of the situations (cost quickly comes to mind) affect the parent MORE than the student/athlete. While we criticize the young man for selecting a college because his friend goes there --- I personally think that could be something to take into consideration. That might be a solution for housing or transportation or that friend just might have a 4.5 GPA be a great study partner.
Fungo

Fungo, not sure where anyone criticized the young man, Ryno asked as a parent what would we do. Based on the information he provided I offered what I would say. I would also offer the same if my player said the only thing he solely liked was the baseball program.

You are correct, fit can mean many different things to many different people when selecting and should be a combination of many things.

First though, one has to determine who the bad fit is for. JMO.

Ryno, sending you a PM.

The truth is that many young people go to a college that their friend attends. Not saying that it is good or bad, but it happens a lot.

In fact, there are coaches who have recruited a player because he is a good friend of the big prize.

I don't think the decision should be based "solely" on a friend going to that school. A bad fit is a bad fit! However there can be obvious benefits involved, especially if the friend is a great kid.

This is yet another personal decision and there is no correct answer IMO.

quote:

Originally posted by RYNO:
What is the duty of a parent in this decision and how do you approach it?

I went through this exact same situation with my daughter when she was narrowing down her choices. I simply asked her if she would go to the school if the friend was no longer there. "No" Then why not go where you want to go? You can still be friends, especially with today's technology, if you're at different schools. But if you go to that school and she transfers, drops out or you two drift apart (which is very likely), you'll probably be miserable.

She went to the school she wanted to, not where her friend went...and they're still pretty good friends.

I think a large number of kids end up making a mistake choosing the wrong college for a number of reasons. As a result, quite a few transfer after their freshman year. It points out to me that for many kids, they are not mature enough right away for college and should consider taking a break from school for a year, do something positive with their lives and then focus on choosing a college. I know this suggestion probably doesn't apply to our baseball centric kids but I do think the maturity part may.

oops wrong post