The good baseball parent

Can anyone tell me if they allow the parents to do the "tunnel" for the players at college games?

This is a hard question to answer - parents have all sorts of different ways of helping their baseball program and be good parents. Parents can volunteer everywhere, from T ball to HS varsity and Legion, even college if you live near. I have volunteered in the concession stands, on the field, built a website, treasurer of the league for 3 years etc. etc. and you don't have to understand the game, although you learn pretty quickly! I think to be a good parent you have to:
1. Always support your team
2. Always be supportive of your children - in good and bad times.
3. Never complain about things unless you are willing to do it yourself.
I cant stand parents who complain about everything but never volunteer to help.
Anyway there are good parents everywhere who help in a million different ways - as long as you help it doesnt matter.

quote:

Originally posted by CPLZ:
Can anyone tell me if they allow the parents to do the "tunnel" for the players at college games?

Many times a "good baseball parent" is one who stays out of the way and lets his/her son do his thing

quote:

Originally posted by Fungo:
What is the good “baseball” parent?

Good question Fungo. I feel you have to break it into 2 catagories, and judge each. 1 being the "parent", and the other being a baseball related "parental advisor". While there is an overlap, I think you can find many situations where a parent may be good and one and "less than desirable" in the other. The ones that get the in both areas are what many would consider a "good baseball parent"

First and foremost is having a realistic perspective of your child's ability.
I think my kid's are the greatest, but when it comes to seeing them on their respective teams and seeing the level of their play, I try to see them warts and all. I acknowledge the things that they must improve and don't compare them with other players. I only expect them to be better today than they were yesterday and work harder than anybody else. Success is the teams and failure is theirs. Throw in a lot of hugs, smiles and encouraging words.

I hope that makes me a good baseball parent.

We've seen the good, bad, and the ugly when it comes to baseball parents. Parents that complain about everything but are seldom in sight for field work days or snack bar help. As parents we are role models for our kids- I would like to think they appreciate all us parents do for their school and teams. Hopefully this teaches them to pitch in and help as they get older. But, just because a parent helps with the team, etc, they should NOT feel this gives them the right to expect special treatment from the coaches. I think my husband is the perfect baseball parent. He has been asked by the coaches on varsity to be the official scorekeeper for 3 years and has never once offered his advice or overstepped his bounds with the coaches. Guess that's why they keep asking him back. This duty entails much of his time but he expects nothing in return.

What I've seen through the years is pretty much the same few parents do the bulk of the work. But, that mirrors life doesn't it?

quote:

Anymore, I can not help my son with how to play game itself. He's past me up on ability and the knowledge of the game. I spend my time helping with the mental aspect and life lessons. The mental aspect and life lessons are there for him to learn and they will help him in life and the game of baseball. So together we view the game with a holistic approach and how the game itself reflects the larger picture of life in general. I do not interfere with the team or the coaches. All things "bad" that happen will be talked about between us but it's up to him to fix them on the field. I hope this makes me a good parent and a good baseball parent.

stanwood - awesome post!

Contrary to what Yogie Berra says, the game is mostly mental imho - especially at the upper levels. You got very smart kids with loads of ability trying to get you out or get a base hit off of you. Thus, your holistic approach while remaining hands off makes a lot of sense to me.

quote:

Originally posted by Fungo:
What is the good “baseball” parent?

On the field or off?

B-I-N-G-O!...deldad nailed it..."First and foremost is having a realistic perspective of your child's ability."

And so did stanwood with his comment..."I spend my time helping with the mental aspect and life lessons. The mental aspect and life lessons are there for him to learn and they will help him in life and the game of baseball."

And what about this guy?



I don't know how this guy is baseball wise, but it's obvious to me that this guy is a good parent...very innovative...using a drip rug to catch the mess...he's good!

Good post stanwood.

A good baseball parent is looked at through 3 sets of glasses.

1. The parent who many times sees their time spent and contributions as a "right of passage and privilage" for their kid. In most cases that mentality is shared with their kids.

2. Other parents look at their contributions as a mandatory to be being part of the "team". Again their kids usually have the same "team mentality".

3. Finally there are those parents who do not have a clue as to what they can do. Remember that most on this site have kids that were the "crem de la crem" and we understood the big picture, and unlike most on this site not every parent is a Type A personality. There are some great parents who come to the games, quietly watch their kids, say nothing negative, but are labled bad baseball parents because they are not involved. These are the ones that get a bad rap. Every year through LL I find a couple of families on every team that falls into this catagory. My initial plan years ago was to push the issue and get them involved. I was wrong again. Not everyone looks at baseball with the same passion as we do and trust when I say that not every family has the same "parental contribution" definition. Maybe it's because I am not in a baseball "hotbed" but many times a kids baseball is only an extension of his private family life. The parents love to watch him play and be involved with the team but that involvement stops at the gate. I used to try and get more out of them but once I looked at things a little deeper I saw that the family was intact, there was a lot of love and caring there, and who was I to disrupt that environment. I knew that if I needed something from these families all I had to do was ask and they would jump. They were my "free pass" I kept in my pocket. I let it be known to all the parents that the level of parental contribution was between them and my team mom and other "go-getters" would not put anyone in an uncomfortable spot. It was more important that I kept Jr involved and that family content, than to have 12 sets of parents forced to stir the pot.

There's more to coaching kids than X's and O's. It is also important for a coach to know who his baseball parents are, who the parental baseball thorns are, but also know who the moms/dads only are. As coaches we treat each player with a varying level of "coaching", this mentality should also be extended to the parents. Not every player is the star, neither are the parents.

I think the parents role for the team is just helping out when and where necessary = every comment should be positive.

The parents role for thier son should be an extra pair of eyes. For example, if my son is swinging poorly I can tell him what I'm seeing (after the game of course) and he generally can pinpoint what he is doing wrong. As my son says no one knows his swing better then me because I have seen it thousands of times.

Also being truthful - should I have caught that ball - was it an error - if the answer is yes tell him that. Its going to help him in the long run.

The last one is one that I think most of us have experienced. There will be times when your son needs to vent and you are the only "safe" one to vent on. Take it and slowly "talk him down" but dont give up on the truth. If he struck out with the bases jammed in the last inning - that is the truth - dont sugar coat it but also understand he needs to blow off some steam.

quote:

Originally posted by catcher09:
The parents role for thier son should be an extra pair of eyes. For example, if my son is swinging poorly I can tell him what I'm seeing (after the game of course) and he generally can pinpoint what he is doing wrong. As my son says no one knows his swing better then me because I have seen it thousands of times.

I agree with your ideas 100% except for the "extra pair of eyes" in many instances. Catcher09, you may be the perfect coach for your son but I'll bet 80% of the parents out there are more detramental to their sons progress than helpful when giving "helpful tips". I can recall many times watching a player who is not seeing the ball well come back to the park with a new stance, a big waggle, and a new bat that broke the bank. Most parents should leave their expertise in the past and help out with the support, pats on the rear, quality time playing catch, and working on the very basics. With that said I have a feeling I am going to hear the wrath of the websters.

RZ1 - we are probably more on the same page then you think. I will tell my son it looks like his weight seems to be too out front. He will listen then take some cuts and realize he has his hands too low (or something like that).

Never would I try to change his swing - I just tell him what I'm seeing.

Case in point - he started batting with more of an open stance - I pointed it out - he didnt even realize he was doing it - didnt try to change him just wanted to make sure he was aware of it.

quote:

RZ1 - we are probably more on the same page then you think.

I figured that, or should I say I know we are .

My point was not directed to you but rather about many baseball parents who you would swear wrote the book.

I still love the story told to me from a mom with a 12 yr old player who was struggling at the plate. She counted somewhere around 22 pieces of advice yelled (coaches and parents) to her son before he even stepped in the box. Obviously this was not helpful to the young man.

No one can be a perfect parent. I've tried and have given up.

I know I made a lot of mistakes early in my son's baseball "career". Undoubtedly, I took baseball a bit too serious at the age 10-14 level. On the other hand, looking back, I'm glad I had an "unrealistic" view of my son's abilities at that time. He wasn't quite that good then.. but I had an idea of what could be.. and now that he's a successful athlete, I'm glad I pushed just a little.

He's so mentally tough now. Mostly him, but some of it was me there after every practice and every game going over the fundamentals of baseball, figuring out how he could get better, talking about about strategy.. obsessing perhaps.. but to a greater end.

Last year one of my son's teammates was married, his wife always baked cookies and brownies for the team and they LOVED it!

Now, careful there TPM... I was accused on another thread of being a suck up for admitting that I like to bake for my son's teams!

quote:

Originally posted by mythreesons:
Now, careful there TPM... I was accused on another thread of being a suck up for admitting that I like to bake for my son's teams!

I saw that one . Son's HS coach loved it when we brought, home baked stuff for the team! He used to tell them they could have it after they WON the game, if not it went up for sale in the concession stand.
Not ******* up,but bribery.

Fungo - I've been thinking about this ever since I saw it earlier in the day and I'm not real sure I have a good description of a "good baseball parent." I'm not even sure that I am one of those?

But the answer is actually kind of darn simple...I do know it when I see it...or read it...and you are surely one of those "good baseball parents" Fungo!

You should teach a class in this subject.

(TPM and mythreesons - My wife is also very good at your practice of '*******-up' via cookies and the like ).

I shouldnt let this secret out but my wife does something that always leads to a win. Promise you wont tell anyone.....Blueberry Muffins - works every time

And she brought these winning blueberry muffins to the field one at a time...but there were consequences...



Now she bakes and equips them such that they can make it to the field under their own power...

rz1 said:
There are some great parents who come to the games, quietly watch their kids, say nothing negative, but are labled bad baseball parents because they are not involved. These are the ones that get a bad rap. Every year through LL I find a couple of families on every team that falls into this catagory. My initial plan years ago was to push the issue and get them involved. I was wrong again. Not everyone looks at baseball with the same passion as we do and trust when I say that not every family has the same "parental contribution" definition. Maybe it's because I am not in a baseball "hotbed" but many times a kids baseball is only an extension of his private family life. The parents love to watch him play and be involved with the team but that involvement stops at the gate. I used to try and get more out of them but once I looked at things a little deeper I saw that the family was intact, there was a lot of love and caring there, and who was I to disrupt that environment. I knew that if I needed something from these families all I had to do was ask and they would jump.
______________________________________________________

I taught my son when he was a Little Leaguer and he progressed at each level based upon his own desire and work he put in. I never considered myself a baseball parent. Just a parent trying to help my son with his chosen extracurricular activity.

I never felt attached in anyway to any organization he played for but if they wanted something that was needed like time or money we helped out on a per request basis.

Some here have names for parents they don't like and behaviors that they consider beneath what's acceptable to them. But I have found most parents are more focused on wanting to watch their son's play and could care less about how things get done or how the team is run.

As a parent of a college pitcher I've learned that most of what he wants is for his team to do well, and for parents to stop asking those stupid questions.

LLorton, Welcome to the HSBBW.
I also helped the youth LL, Coach, board of directors, Fields manager.Also did a couple of Terms on the city park board.
My feeling, If you want to change things for the better.
You have to be on the inside.
You try to get as many volunteers out to the fields as possible.
You end up doing a lot by yourself.
Also during my time as a park board member. We were able to build 2 Tball fields, 2 softball/baseball fields 300'
And a sports complex tied into a New Junior high school.
But at my sons age of 12/13 I stopped coaching.
And finished my terms in the LL and the park board.
I felt that was a good age to step back and allow him a chance to grow as a athlete.
Without dad there??

I think I made every mistake in the book along the way.
Its almost the right of passage that a parent go thru that.LOL
Now everything I did was from a complete Novice/Nieve point of view.
There's no way that things could not be fair.
Well I learned quick.
Anytime you get a group together, There's a hidden agenda.
And sometimes that's were parents get a bad rap.
Just trying to make everything fair.

If you want to be a good baseball parent.
Listen to your gut feelings about things.
Support your player, With no excuses.
In this day and age you need to be Pro Active as far as baseball after HS.
The player has to be seen.
Also have a back up plan.

As far as Stupid questions from parents.
I've earned the right to ask him stupid questins.LOL
EH

I think the answer changes with the age of the player:

Little League:

-willing to do whatever is necessary to make the league work, be it field work, raking, digging weeds, selling hot dogs, picking up trash, etc.
-coaches if there's at least some knowledge of the game, realizes they don't know it all;
-realizes it is a game, being played by kids, 95% of which will stop after Little League, designed to be fun;
-realizes not all kids are "stud muffins", but they all want to play and have fun;
-makes sure the dog has food and water;
-buys bubble gum.

High School:

-willing to do whatever is necessary to keep the facilities nice;
-never attempts to address any coach regarding baseball issues (exception: true imminent danger to son's health, and even then, privately with great tact);
-supports his player, and all the others, talks baseball when the son wants to do so, and saves any and all critical comments for the private spousal conversations;
- supports the son getting as much instruction and baseball as son wants, realizing it's his life and his call;
-makes sure the dog has food and water;
-buys the bubble gum.

College:

-Enjoys watching others do the field work..but kind of misses the dusty fellowship that comes with it;
-Supports his player through thick and thin, with a realistic view of where the talent level lies;
-Realizes coach communication will be mainly an exchange of "How's it going?", unless the coach initiates something more;
-Treats Junior's academics like President Reagan's attitude towarde the Russians: "Trust But Verify";
- Goes to as many games as possible, realizing "son time" might be no more than a quick hug as he goes back to the bus;
-boards the dog before the trips;
- buys the bubble gum.

That was very good, very clever, and probably very true Hokieone.

Ok, I have a confession to make, son's coachs and bb staff office are chocolate addicts, they get special treats for christmas. This year it was chocolate covered liquer candies, it was a hit!
Announcers for our Tigers baseball station are chocoloate covered coconut patty freaks (a florida treat) so they get them when we see them now it has progressed to chocolate covered coconut lime and mango patties as well.

If that is considered s u c k i n g up, we are guilty.

Good post Hokieone!

hokie - that was an outstanding hsbbweb hall-of-fame type of post

Yep, that's a HOF'er hokie.........



That probably needs to go over there with Bubba, MN-Mom.

quote:

But if you're like me and have more than the usual 2.3 kids, you have plenty of time to become that parent that's always willing to help - and sometimes wants to "chat".

quote:

Well if that were the case, my kids would be the biggest sufferers on the team... cuz I ask lots of questions about things that I wonder about! Never had a coach take it out on any of my kids - not one single time. Are we just lucky? I'd prefer to think it's my diplomatic, sparkling personality that makes it hard for coaches to take offense. Or maybe they really like those brownies that keep showing up after games, too!

When the brownies and the help are given out because you want to help the program - great, you're the very definition of a good baseball parent!

When time is spent and brownies are given to get an in with the coach to "chat" that's ******* up.

I've seen the parent who works selflessly for the program and I've seen the parent who works just as hard but purely to suck up.

quote:

Originally posted by gotwood4sale:
And she brought these winning blueberry muffins to the field one at a time...but there were consequences...

I'm just glad to see my Woodrow back in top form!!!