The Real Coach

Very true, Coach May - that's why you hear about great players often times being "CK's"..."Coaches' Kids". We all need guidance along the way -- I salute those dads who gave their kids opportunities, helped teach them the game, and then allowed other good coaches to take them the rest of the way.

Thank you Coach May.

Excellent Coach May and a nice "mom" touch also.

quote:

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I salute the dads that give of themselves so their kids can enjoy and learn to love the game of baseball...

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A good point in general. This site brings in parents of sons who have specific skills. Many times, which I am also guilty, we unintentioally "backseat" parents who love the game but who's sons do not have the same tools, or, sons who have the tools but parents don't have a baseball clue. As I've gotten older and my son left that younger competitive stage I look back and think maybe I did not always give those parents a fair shake at times. Baseball is but a sliver of the parenting factor.

Ouch, that hurts

Thanks Coach May. I think I still have the smashed toes from those uncle Charlies that snuck under my mitt.

CoachMay,
Thank you! I resemble that comment.
I would like to add to those dads that are making the time sacrifice; seek out whatever information they can to help their child.
And to those who volunteer to coach at the youth level, find people like CoachMay to help you organize practice time so that the kids have the best oportunity to learn (and have fun)
Rollerman

Coach May,

That's a very special and touching thought you put forward, and it's great to see the respect for parents coming from a coach. Cheers to you Coach May.

I've been on both sides of the fence/sideline/bench over the past 13 years ... as coach and spectator. But for me, it's always 100% about just spending time with my kids and sharing the experiences as they pursue their individual passions. I know it's a special time in my life as a father that I cherish every day. Twenty five years from now, I won't remember any meeting with a client or issue at the office, but my children and I will still have a bond and memories formed from those shared experiences. It's a gift to myself, and my children, that unfortunately I didn't have, and still don't have with my own father. I swore my life and relationships with my children would be different.

I don't pretend that I can pass on any baseball wisdom to my eldest son ... he has other mentors that far surpass my meager knowledge ... but the time we spend doing simple things like hitting wiffles in the back yard, doing towel drills, etc., and just talking baseball make our relationship richer every day. Sure, I hope he takes his game far ... but not because I want something ... but because I see his passion, which just happens to be about baseball for him, and as a parent I simply hope he succeeds at anything he works so hard at. That's baseball today ... and will be something else in some other chapter of his life. I think the best you can do is hope your children find something in their lives that they love to do that they pour themselves into. We can support their journey and share in it, but we can't live it.

Coach May,
I so appreciate your comments & compliments for the Dads...Yes it's true,Dad's are the real coach, most of the time.
Mine was a little different than a support role. I put his first t-ball team together & coached till I found a dad willing, did the practices, throwing, fielding, pitching (till I saw that he needed much more than I could offer. Then @ 10 yr, drove him 45 min. to an hour 2-3 times a week, plus games/tournaments during the week & on weekends. At about 11, found the "right" baseball folks to help him along. Took a lot of convincing, but his Dad finally agreed that lessons would be a good thing (about age 13).
I was fortunate to find this site about the same time, learned about showcasing & things like East Cobb & Jr. Olympics, & Area Code. He made Varsity as a freshman, All-State, First team as a sophomore. (This in a pretty tough 5A District). He's had a couple pro tryouts last summer, too. Now he's in his Jr. Year...nearly grown, & looking forward to the season starting in a few weeks.
All this & more, getting him in front of those folks that can help him realize his dream...And it's been worth every oil change, brake job, grey hair, sore muscle, aching knee, sore palm, & fast food dinner!
Mostly, I've been a "door lady"...find the doors & let him knock on them.

Great memories...

Thanks Coach May for the kind words and thanks for being a coach. Parents sometimes forget the impact they have and impression they make on their children. I remember when my youngest son had just started kindergarten about fifteen years ago. He had been there for about a week and one day after school I asked him how things were going. He told me he really liked school, the other kids, and his teacher. I asked who his best friend was and he quickly answered with the innocence of a six year old...."You're my best friend"...
Thanks again coach.
Fungo

Baseballmom:

What a wonderful post! There are many of us Moms who lead a similar support role. Dad is not always available or capable of being the coach and the Moms fill in as best they can!

I too sought out the Coaches that could provide our son with good baseball competition. I found that being a volunteer in the snack bar, team Mom... etc. always kept me close to the field.

Encouraging him to take those AP courses and those late night study sessions after a long practice didn't hurt either! And besides...Moms are always our son's biggest fans!

Great post. I can still remember on Sundays, me pitching batting practice, and my wifey in the outfield shagging balls. Me catching my sons long toss, or him pitching to me from the mound, oh how I miss those days! Anyway, I learned about my son's Freshman year in High School that he was ready to fly from the home baseball nest, and move to different level. Now me and the wife work the snack hut, I mow the baseball infield on weekends, and cheer madly for my son I am so proud of. We have put umpteen miles on our truck, stayed in more motels than I care to remember, and I wouldn't change a thing. It has/is a wonderful ride to watch my son become the player/man that he is growing up to become. And to the coaches of travel teams and high school, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Although, only a junior in High School, it is going by far to quickly for me. I miss coaching him in T-ball, and watching him run the bases with reckless abandon. God I love this game!

dadchs24

Well said! I've got goose bumps.

We had 2 ballplayers when our kids were little. One had the phone ringing off the hook with invitations to join all sorts of teams. The other one, well, the other one didn't.
My husband, who had the coaching itch, decided to coach the one who didn't. We joined the good old YMCA because it had strict playtime rules for all players. These little guys didn't care that they weren't on a select team . they loved the uniforms, the team wins, swaggering off the field, or the losses where they cheered each other up at the local pizza place as much as the better athletes did.

We won too, because we got to enjoy each sons success. sure, he would have loved to coach the more athletic son, but made up for it in the back yard throwing the ball around.

The other son eventually grew out of his awkward stage and still has the team pics with "Coach Dad" hanging in his room.

Great post it sounds like live around here. But it is not work at all. All the time in the back yard or ball field turned out to be a good time with my Boys,many times my wife would join the fun. I am glad you included the moms. My wife would play catch with the boys till they stated hurting her hand. Now she is the brains of high school baseball booster club. And many more things to help her boys and many other young ballplayers Thanks!

BBMom, Thanks for your post. I was divorced when my son was 4 1/2. I have been the one that played ball, worked the concession stands, and put him "in front of the doors" as you stated. There are many moms and dads that have had the precious opportunity to spend time with their children this way.

However, I will go back to what Coach May said. I think that boys that have had "dad" share in their experiences are very fortunate. However, since my son's father was not "hands on", he was blessed because of a coach that he had for many years. This coach did not have a son playing, but did so for the love of the game and the kids. He was a mentor and a friend to my son. Then we were very fortunate to get coaches at the high school level that have shown my son how to play the game at another level, that it's ok to hug and cry, and many other things that will help him to be the man I want him to be. None of his high school coaches have kids on the team. So while many dads are coaches that have changed their sons lives, many coaches are not dads of the kids they coach, but they impact their lives in very meaningful ways. My hat goes off to all "coaches" whether that be dad, mom, or just a guy that wants to make a difference in other people's lives.

I dont consider it a sacrafice but rather priceless time spent that will become a lifetime of memories for all who experience it. No matter what enjoy the time because it seems to be going so fast.

Lot of sweat. Fair amount of frustration at times. Wouldn't have missed it for the world.

I took a long term approach to coaching my players, including my son, over the years. Worked hard on fundamentals, building a skills foundation a layer at a time. Teaching the mental side of the game.

He was never the best player on the team when I was still coaching. Solid at first. Then one of the better.

Now that he is entering HS, he has worked hard enough that he is one of the best. Now he has a better understanding of why I took the approach I did. Why all the emphasis on good mechanics. And he understands where the edge that he currently emjoys came from. That is rewarding.

If anyone says you sacrifice they do not know what they are talking about--being with your kids, be it for athletics or anything else, is part of being a parent--and the excuse of a being a divorced parent does not hold water--I have seen many one parent situations where Dad was still deeply involved and being a positive force.

Being with your kids is the joy of parenthood and you will reap the rewards later on in life

If you didn't want this joy and the effort that it entails then why have the kids ??

TRhit, I agree 100% with you, but we all know some parents that don't participate in their kids lives, divorced and married.

You, I, and most of the posters on this website have been blessed with the opportunity and have enjoyed that opportunity to be a huge part of our kid's lives. Some parents don't value this time. It's their loss!

lafmom

Amen to That !!

lafmom,

I know so many kids whose parents aren't involved. I'm so thankful for the privilege of being on the front line of my kids' lives. Full of challenges, you bet! But a great "career" choice for me!

I can never get over going to either my daughter's fastpitch games or my son's baseball games and asking another kid's mom where her husband was only to hear that he was playing golf. Plenty of time - too much time - to play golf when the kids are grown. I'm not saying parents should have no life of their own, but if you can't put your kids first - I should say if it doesn't feel natural to put your kids first then don't have any. And I don't mean just sports, but school or scouts or chorus or whatever the kid is into.

Almost without fail when I go to a MLB or minor League game I will overhear a couple of 20, 30 or 40 something guys talking about what could have been if someone had been there to push them! When they were 13 or 14 they were a pretty good but no one was there to give that nudge so they quit playing. Sometimes we are the only ones to see our kid's potential. Many times their coaches, team mates or even they don't see it. We have to be there to show them their potential and then give the avenue to reach that potential.

golf.. yeah, I remember that.


I used to play 20-30 times a year and I was ok (low 80's).

Then my oldest signed up for little league. He was late signing and they said they didn't have any room for him unless I would coach him and a few others who signed up late.

Seven years later, I've averaged about 2 rounds of golf a year.



thank God we signed up late!!!!

Not for nothing I was on the Pro Bass Fishing Tour here in the Northeast until LL---fishing was a passion but baseball became the real true passion once LL began

Just a minute Coach May, some of us moms have spent endless hours "playing" ball with our sons.
When mine was three, four years old and I picked him up him from day care, almost everyday before we got home I took him to the tennis court to hit off the tee and chase the ball (tennis courts keep the balls under control).
By the time he was 5 and got to t-ball he was a pro!