The recruitment part of the journey is over. My son, now a senior in high school, has signed his NLI with his dream school. We have spent the last four years navigating the recruitment waters, some of it by the seat of our pants, some it by reading a whole lot of posts on this board. I thought I would take a few minutes and write down a few thoughts about the process that might help those coming up behind us. Bear in mind that individual results may vary, tax, title, and destination charges are not included. This is completely my opinion based on my experience. None of what I write below is new information really, it’s just what we’ve learned and what has worked at our house.
• Don’t think you’re behind the curve if your Jr. isn’t on a best select team at 12 years old. My son didn’t play select ball until he was a freshman in high school. This in no way stunted his baseball growth. In fact, I think it helped. Up until then he played with his buds at the local rec league, having fun and goofing around. This instilled “fun” and he still has it each time he sets foot between the lines.
• The kid has to “want it.” As a parent, nothing we do can substitute for Jr.’s desire. If you have to push your kid every single day to go to practice then maybe baseball isn’t the right sport for him. Oh sure, there are days and maybe even a few weeks that Jr. doesn’t want to play but if it’s been going on for a while now then maybe it’s time to re-evaluate Jr.’s goals. They’re not always going to be your goals.
• At a batting lesson one time my son heard something that has stuck with him ever since. The lesson was given by a former DI baseball player. This player has a brother that has been a very successful MLB player (that’s still playing). Off the cuff he told my son, “You know the difference between my brother and me? My dad used to have to ask me to hit in the cage with him. My brother used to drag my dad out to the cage everyday to hit with him.” I can’t tell you how many times my son and I have talked about that comment and how many times I’ve stopped what I was doing to go throw soft toss to him in the backyard. The boy has to “want it.”
• Playing another sport in high school in addition to baseball is a good thing. There’s not a college coach I talked to that doesn’t appreciate a multi sport athlete. Yeah, even s****r. In fact, s****r might be the best sport because of the agility, footwork, and endurance it teaches. I used to think it was a bad word too.
• Find a great select/club team with a coach that truly believes that helping the kids is in his best interest and stick with that team all through high school if possible. It teaches your kid teamwork, adversity, stick-to-it-ness, and loyalty. To watch a coach derive his joy from the growth of the kids is priceless. I know this isn’t always possible but do your due diligence and hopefully you’ll make the right decision. If you’re currently in a bad team situation then change the situation immediately.
• Get as much exposure as possible. Perfect Game tournaments are great. The tournament in Jupiter was far and away the very best baseball event I’ve ever taken my son to. If you have a chance to go to this then do it. If you live in Bug Lick, Saskatchewan then your circumstances are different. But if you do live there, and your son shows some promise, then do your best to get him in front of folks that can help. One of the great things about the baseball community is that most people want to help. We all love the game and we all love the kids. Helping someone else will help you too.
• Cheer for all the kids. If other players on your son’s team are better than your son then that will only make your son a better player. If you played golf or tennis (or whatever your sport/activity is) with someone that’s not ½ your ability would you improve? Of course not. Your son won’t either. Play on the best team that plays the best competition possible. Period. Plus, those super studs on your son’s team (and the other team) will bring out the scouts. In turn, they’ll see your son play. Don’t forget that there are many levels of post-high school baseball to play. Cheer for the whole team!
• Be as honest as possible about your son’s abilities. If he sits at 85 then he sits at 85. Just because he hit 90 once while throwing down hill with the wind does not mean he throws 90. Seek unbiased evaluation. If your son is a low level guy and he loves the game there will be a spot for him. If he’s a high level guy that loves the game then there will be a spot for him. Play for the love of the game, not where you go to college or get drafted.
• Your son is not entitled to a **** thing. Everything in baseball is earned. No excuses. Just get out there and do it. Baseball is the ultimate meritocracy. If another kid is starting in front of your son then it’s probably because he’s better. The only way to fix that is for your son to get better. The ironic thing is that the kids intrinsically know this but it’s us parents that can’t seem to see it.
• Help your son as much as possible. Let him talk to the coaches. Let him navigate the recruiting waters too. Your guidance is expected and it’s invaluable but this is a time to let the leash out a bit. I’ve been able to watch a shy kid become a young man that knows what he wants and strives daily to get it. As much as you might want it to be, it’s not up to you anymore. If you think it is then you might be placing your son in a situation to fail. If he fails on his own then he learns something. If he fails because of your decisions then he becomes spiteful towards you.
Well there you go. There’s probably much more I could write but that’s what came off the top of my head. If I’ve somehow offended someone then I’ll apologize in advance. It certainly wasn’t my intention. If I’ve somehow helped someone, then that’s great too. These are only my personal thoughts. Baseball is such a great game with so many of life’s lesson learned between the lines, in the dugout, and in the stands, that I wish every kid could play. These same life lessons are taught in every aspect of a kid’s life but only few get to include mom and dad as much as baseball. And yes, it really does go fast.
Now it’s on to the next chapter. I’m certain I have a lot to learn.
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