As we sit around and relish our sons home for the holidays catching up with what's going on in their lives, in the classrooms, on the field, girlfriend adventures (for lack of a better word, lol), personal goals, etc. it occurred to me that some of you parents are experiencing this for the very first time. You are beginning to see glimpses of a new young man. New ideals. New beginnings. New dreams. New experiences. New emotions. New fears and doubts.
In all these "new" things you are being exposed to for the first time try and soak it in and just listen. Allowing him the freedom to open up to you and share, and you not rushing to figure it out for him will help him tremendously in many ways. One, being able to communicate things in his life and then determine which is the best way for him to figure it out. Make right decisions and choices. It was always easy during HS to freely "give" him my opinion on where to turn, when to jump, how to do more, etc. He was simply on Robot mode then and as most good kids would comply. He trusted us to make the right decisions. But now, he wants to figure it out on his own. They are beginning to "buy in" to the fact that this is now his life.
These special moments when he plops down on the couch and opens up to you is and will become more rarer than you know. So whatever you're doing and realize it stop what you're doing and give him your undivided attention. It may only be a 5 minute chat. But it will be a GREAT 5 minute chat. You may ask him 10 times while he is home "hey son, how's it going?" hoping that it will open up dialog, and it just might. 1 out of 10 times if you're lucky. lol. When he's ready to talk he will let you know.
You may hear some revelations that surprise you and weren't expecting, i.e. wanting to quit baseball for a myriad of reasons, has a new gf, not sure how to handle some new adversity going on in his life, struggles with new emotions, etc. Just hear him out. Don't be quick to judge or critique.
Last night at 11:45pm I had a phone chat with my son. It was late and we were discussing his working with a 10yr old on pitching this morning. I wanted to just hear what he looks at, what he assesses, etc etc etc. I was curious. I was floored as he began to talk about the things he says and does, what he looks for, how he encourages and builds up, etc. But all of a sudden the chat turned into something on his mind that he spent the next 10min or so talking to me about, i.e. his goals this spring, his sweet gf, his plans on how he wants to live his life and how he was raised that drives him to be content with where he is and not make decisions that could jeopardize the well being of his future, etc. Just mind blowing stuff. I just sat and listened. Extremely sleepy but I wasn't hanging up the phone for nothing.
After the phone call I went to bed and my wife asked how he was doing. I took a big deep breath and then simply said, "He's going to be just fine." And it was a peace that I needed and wanted to have. He has transformed into a young man before my eyes. It's probably going to be one of the top 3 things I will get for Christmas this year.
Merry Christmas to my HSBBW family and a Happy New year!
YGD
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