Through the eyes of a young high school coach

All coaching assignments are a stepping stone to the next job. Coaching is about mentoring young men. Teaching them, leading them, being there to guide them in the game and hopefully they will take something away from the experience.

Knowing the school and the parents, it does not surprise me. As a whole, they are powerfull people that are doctors, lawyers and heads of industry that are used to getting their way (or at least be heard).

That doesn't change the mission and the challenge. Helping young men grow, learn, improve and find joy in the experience.

Why should he do it; because he can positively effect a new generation of players. He will grow through it and in time he will learn that these "blow hard" parents are just kids that didn't learn to share when they were young.

quote:

Originally posted by ILVBB:
Knowing the school and the parents, it does not surprise me. As a whole, they are powerfull people that are doctors, lawyers and heads of industry that are used to getting their way (or at least be heard).

With all due respect, the league your son and now my younger son played(s) in (including the school your son played at) have a reputation of ornery parents more than any other league around. Much more so than the school infielddad is referring too.

But I diverge.

I think young men like your son, infielddad, have a tremendous amount to offer. For sure there are the baseball skills he possesses and can share. More importantly, IMO, HS kids really look up to young men like your son. He will have a tremendous mentoring (and positive) impact on those kids. I think he'll get great satisfaction a few years down the road when a former player seeks him out in the grocery store to just say, "Hi!"

The emails don't surprise me...from ANY school (around here). The absolute worst whiners I heard with our older son were from those who were lets say, on the other side of the doctors and lawyers (and engineers! ). I think its seen as part of the 'parenting' handbook today to grind hard for your kid.

I think our son's current HS coach (in that despicable league I referred too) is absolutely the best HS coach in any sport I've ever come across. He communicates better than anyone could expect. He holds regular parent meetings, conducts informational events for the parents and kids and best of all, integrates all 3 of his teams into a friendly "program." He has a coaching staff that is about 50% young guys from college/pro ball like your son. I honestly do not know anyone who is not happy (although I'm sure its there somewhere). And, they win.

I just keep pinching myself.

Your son would fit in great in that program...as I am sure he does in the one he works in now. We NEED kids like him, who LOVE the game, to coach our sons. Even with all of the c-r-a-p. Its part of it, unfortunately.

quote:

a reputation of ornery parents

I said powerful, not ornery. I know my brother is one of the parents at that school (he has a daughter).

But besides that, I agree with what you have to say.

justbaseball, the comments on that Coach and how he approaches the program and parents are very intriguing and very, very helpful. Any more you can share would be warmly accepted.
Being a young coach who got lucky and played college and some Milb, our son's experience questions why parents are paying attention to game by game stats. He knows there are days you go 1-4 and had great AB's and days you go 3-4 and should be embarrassed.
I wonder if he can accept the "its part of it."
On the other hand, I can see what you are posting.
Coaches don't have to accept it. He can cerainly move on and see if other options beyond high school exist.
Or, he can recognize it is part of it and, like the coach you have referenced and the program he directs, be proactive with parents in educational ways about the game of baseball to either prevent, or at least minimize the issue.
I have very little doubt about his passion and love of baseball and the joy of being on the field. Thanks for providing wonderful suggestions and options I can present to him as ways that might allow him to prevent the emails, not complain about them.
ILVBB, Evan is just about to take over one of those spots in the record book where infieldson had put his name. Congratulations and here is hoping there will be more and more as the season progresses.
Evan has just had been spectacular!

My husband keeps the official books for our son's team. Even if he disagrees with a certain call by the umpire or a decision made by the official scorekeeper in the press box, his must abide by their decisions in keeping the books. After each game, I write articles on the team's website, giving game highlights that reflect the plays recorded in the book.

Several times, fellow parents have read the articles and questioned my husband about the stats he has kept. "Why did you put that my son got a double when he made it to third base?" "Why didn't my son get credited with an RBI?" "Why did you say that my son advanced to second base? Why didn't you credit him with a stolen base?" Regardless of the tone of the inquiry, my husband has always responded back graciously. Most of the time, the parents asking the questions simply don't understand the rules of baseball. Occasionally, my husband agrees with the parent's assessment, but has to explain that the official recordkeeper in the press box thought differently and he has to comply with their decision.

Earlier this season, the dad of a non-starter approached my husband about the stats of a player who was starting. The starter is his son's "competition" and it was easy to understand his motivation in wanting the stats. It's obvious that it is absolutely killing him that his son is not getting the opportunity to start.

Being parents ourselves, we understand the desire of other parents for their sons to be successful and get proper "credit." They are thinking about the stats they will list on their son's baseball resume or the stats that will be used to determine All-District honors and they want the numbers to be as high as possible. Every week, the city newspaper prints the names of leaders in every offensive category -- BA, doubles, HR's, walks, runs, RBI's, etc. -- and high-achieving parents relish the opportunity for their son's name to be listed.

Even though coaches may see the "big picture," the emotions of many parents can rise and fall with every game. As we have read innumerable times on HSBBW, being a baseball parent can be really tough at times.

Infielddad, I hope you will encourage your son to try and understand things from a parent's perspective. Perhaps if he realizes that they have good, albeit misplaced, intentions, he will be able to respond to their inquiries and demands with more patience and understanding -- or at least learn to channel their complaints in one ear and out the other.

Good stuff --- about bad stuff. It happens everywhere. When parents get involved in their son’s sports they become as much a competitor as their son. The involvement is not physical (we hope) but it is just as intense. The highs are just as high and the lows are just as low for the parent as with the player. Coaches need to understand that. Once a coach understands the parental involvement he can address it and use it to his advantage. An involved parent can be a great asset to a coach especially in baseball where school support is nil. I think the key to making this work is having a coach that is willing to share INFORMATION with the parents as justbaseball describes. Parents and coaches need to be on the same page ----- but in different sandboxes.

Stats will always be a hot button with parents. Stats can be MUCH more important to some parents than winning the ball game. I was a high school statistician I know how upset some parents can get over a hit/error. I have been asked many times about an error being a hit, whether or not a run was earned or unearned. I would never change an error to a hit. If the parent was persistent I would always say I would run it by the coach. The questions and concerns will NEVER go away so coaches, statisticians and parents need to be informed (back to information again) as to how these will be handled.

quote:

why should a young,former Milb player, and "possibly" talented coach want to be a high school coach...if this is part of the job?

1. because it is very important to the young players, the parents, and the coach. It’s a real challenge ---- but not for everyone.
2. Yes it will always be part of the job

Understand too that an MiLB coach is a pure baseball coach and you son has been used to this ----- a high school coach not only coaches baseball, he is molding a young mans life during a time period where parents and players are both in a life changing transition. Parents are being forced to turn loose and players are becoming men. A high school coach can have a tremendous impact on a young man’s life and in the process can also help the parent adjust. There is no doubt that infieldson is a great role model and will be a great teacher of the game. PERFECT fit! The parent "problem" will take some work. I'm sure he has the compassion but will have to learn to exercise firmness with adults. MiLB Players are conditioned to be followers and to do as they are told. It will just take time for him to adjust to the role reversal with adults.

In just 6 posts (prior to this one) a very interesting topic.

quote:

...and high-achieving parents relish the opportunity for their son's name to be listed.

While I don't think this is what motivated the parents on infieldson's team, I certainly can relate to this remark!

There is no question that when my son's name began to appear in the paper during his sophomore year in HS, I clipped every single box score and mention of his name. It felt great! It was confirmation of the wonderful-ness of his ability! It was confirmation of the superb parenting and coaching I had performed on this piece of clay that God handed to me!

Haven't a lot of us felt this way at some point? I don't even know where those old clippings are anymore...maybe gone? Maybe in the garage? Don't know.

quote:

They are thinking about the stats they will list on their son's baseball resume or the stats that will be used to determine All-District honors and they want the numbers to be as high as possible.

I suspect that this remark is right on the mark in infieldson's situation.

Communication and information. As Fungo has once again cut right to the chase, this is the key. As I said earlier with our younger son's HS coach, his willingness to openly communicate and his ability to provide accurate and voluminous information to the parents and kids in his program have served him very well. Everyone understands the program before they set their feet on the field and once there, everyone understands the expectations or they aren't listening.

More than anything, this coach also understands that if the parents and the kids become great friends, freshmen to seniors, then it leaves little room for the bickering that often occurs amongst "rivals" on the same team. He works his a$$ off to ensure that the kids and parents in his program get every chance to be good friends. This was obvious from the very first day of school. Best HS coach in any sport I've ever seen and the results he gets speak volumes about the methods used.

I think a young coach like infieldson has a tremendous chance to be the communication conduit to the kids especially. They're probably more willing to listen to a 20-something former college/pro ballplayer than to an old-f-a-r-t like someone my age. I also have a hunch that he could be a good conduit to the parents as well. After all, he may be young enough to be their son as well and I think people my age have a little harder time getting angry at someone in that age group with that experience in his recent past.

Good luck!

quote:

So, parents, why should a young,former Milb player, and "possibly" talented coach want to be a high school coach...if this is part of the job?

Infielddad, I would love it if someone like your son were to coach 2B's team in an official capacity. Judging from what everyone here thinks of him, he is a fine young man and a gifted coach, and I hope he sticks with it. Yes, the parent issues are part of the job, but I hope he's able to put that in perspective and concentrate on what he can give his players.

Our experience with our MiLB off-season hitting instructor has been fantastic. He hit something like .174 last year for his MiLB team. But his struggles seemed to really give him a very special insight that he is able to convey to the young hitter. He says things and does things in a way that the year-round guys who give hitting instruction around here just can't do. And his innate coaching ability has had very tangible results for 2B - not just technical stuff, but the mental game as well. From this perspective,I think the MiLB experience can really provide something special that a young coach can pass along. I suspect that your son has this gift.

quote:

Haven't a lot of us felt this way at some point? I don't even know where those old clippings are anymore...maybe gone? Maybe in the garage? Don't know.

I'll fess up. For now, those box scores are tacked up on my office door for all those naysayers who for years have been asking 2Bdad, is he really as good as 2B mom seems to think, or is she just a proud mama? Yes, as a matter of fact, he is. And I would be proud of him even if he hit .174

For the record, our MiLB player (Flint Wipke, who made it to the sweet 16 in the best MiLB name contest) worked really, really hard in the off season. He's back with his Angels affiliate, and we are expecting a great season from him! But if he doesn't make it to the bigs, we know he will be a gifted coach, and he'll probably have to learn to deal with unhappy or hypercritical parents, too. Comes with the territory.