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Hi everyone!

On Thursday, August 14, our hosting company will be doing some maintenance which may affect our site slightly.

I was told that we could experience some delayed responsiveness in doing things like posting or searching, but we do not expect any site outage.

The maintenance timing is approx. 12:00 noon until 4:00 pm (Central time) on Thursday.

Thanks!

Julie
hsbaseballweb@comcast.net
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Drapes Mom?

Why not the top o' the line?



MOTORIZED DRAPES & WHY YOU NEED THEM!


Motorized control of your drapes and other window coverings such as "NO SOLICITORS...EVER!" signs is convenient and it will impress your few friends that you can actually work the remote control device and even change the batteries when needed. But remember, it isn't just a toy. The exception, of course, is if you are very easily entertained by gadgets. If that is the case, then yes, it can be considered a rather elaborate and expensive toy.

Shutting the drapes or shades during the hours that your room gets a lot of sun (those of you on the coast of Oregon can skip this part), lowers temperatures in the house in the summer, reduces the costs of air conditioning and protects you from harmful UV (Unwelcome Visitor) rays or stares. Furniture and rugs won’t fade; they will retain their color and continue to look beautiful much longer if protected from these Unwelcome Visitors such as unruly children wielding fists full of snacks and sugary soft-drinks. For the well being of the furniture and rugs any house pets, especially those that really don't like you, should be considered Unwelcome Visitors as well and should be controlled directly or remotely, for safety's sake, if necessary.

In the winter, capturing the full sun can help to reduce heating costs and yet quixotically will not help you in your effort to paint it as the chief culprit causing global warming. And letting in natural light, brightens up an otherwise dark, drab, dim, dank, dreadful, disgusting, disturbing, downtrodden, and dreary room. The annoying rays or stares that sometimes hit you full in the face at a meeting, or when you are in conversation with your few friends, or when you're trying to figure out why the cops are at the neighbors across the street again, can be prevented automatically or corrected unobtrusively by remote control...so long as you've mastered and remembered the skills needed to keep the batteries fresh. Of course, if the police need your statement as a witness, no set of fancy, motorized, remote controlled drapes will protect you from having to fill out the forms. Just the facts ma'am.

When working on the computer, or even working on that leaky Water Pik©, the glare from those lawbreakers across the street can be cut by closing the shades or drapes without moving from your chair or bathroom vanity. And of course, closing the drapes or shades provides privacy when the lights go on in the room even though privacy is really needed the most when the lights go off in the room!

Motorized and automated drapes and window coverings are perfect for your home, office, boardroom, or illegal BINGO parlor! You can't be bothered to open or close the drapes while barking out BINGO numbers to all of your paying customers. Automatic controls do the job whether you are yelling "I-6!", "N-0!", or "G-20!". And remember: for those who are really, really forgetful, or merely permanently spaced out, automatic controls are especially helpful. It can be very annoying to have to get out of bed to close the shutters or drapes once you are comfortably tucked in...or was it trucked in? Or did the FedEx© guy just leave it on the front porch? Do we even have a front porch? We live in a condo...right? On the second floor perhaps? Did we pay our garbage bill this month? What garbage? Integrate it with your other systems. Systems? We have systems? I thought we lived in a condo...without a front porch. Oh my gosh! I think I left the freezer door open...again!

Integrate the drapes and the lighting in your imaginative home theater with your even more imaginative visual equipment! The drapes will close automatically and the lights will lower when you start the blockbuster show in your head! This creates the perfect viewing atmosphere so long as you can remember something even remotely interesting. All this with a single tap on your touch screen...which I think I left out on the front porch. Or was that the screen door?

Automatic controls can draw the drapes, close the shades or tilt the Venetian blinds when the lights go on in the evening or when the sun goes down. It works on the same high-tech concept as the light inside your refrigerator. They can let in the light automatically in the morning at an hour that you set or according to the intensity of the sun or the curiosity of your neighbors next door...the law abiding ones who are wondering about you. Set early hours for weekdays, but for weekends set later hours to allow yourself more time to luxuriate in bed...or preferably on the front porch. Luxuriating can often times turn into a messy affair and clean up is much easier when this is confined to the front porch. Preset all your window covering scenarios and select each according to weekday, weekend, holiday away from home, or whatever. It's the whatever that will require a lot of planning. Keep plenty of fresh batteries on hand because the possibilities and uncomfortable circumstances are boundless!

So why motorize your window coverings? That's easy... you'll be the envy of your small circle of friends! Once you install motorized window coverings, emblazoned with decals from all of your racing sponsors, you'll wonder why you didn't do it sooner. The answer to that, of course, is that you forgot where you left the owners manual with the installation instructions. The last I remember it was in the shoebox behind the cat box. Or was it in the cat box behind the shoebox? Or was it a hat box? Or was the cat in the box? Or was the cat in the hat?

If you've ever seen even just one episode of Pimp My Ride then you can motorize and automate drapes, shades, blinds, shutters, awnings and any other type of window covering. Even the tattered white sheet that you frantically had to wave in the picture window after your next door neighbor called the police and the Tri-County SWAT team swarmed in can be automated. You know this elite bunch will be called in again so why make it difficult on yourself? Once they know your address, and they remember the load of fun they had dealing with you, they'll be back so don't hesitate...automate! You can use existing white colored drapes or shades; no need to buy new ones! If, on the other hand, you happen to have white blinds installed instead try learning Morse Code. Someone on the SWAT team will know how to interpret your blinking babbling. If, after your last encounter with the SWATTERS, tattered remnants is all that is left of your window coverings, then I would recommend learning semaphore. It just might save a life!

Even the heaviest window coverings can be motorized and automated...just ask the folks at the Royal Bank of Scotland. Their window coverings were really put to the test during the riots last week in London. I didn't catch the news, but I think their window treatments held up pretty well. That's what you'd expect from those Scots. Always raking in the d'oh!



Last edited by gotwood4sale

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