to be liked or respected

1st choice would be both 2nd choice would to be respected. I think recruiting is hard enough why would a coach not want to be liked and respected...has to help when recruits ask "what is it like to be on the team"

 

But if I had to choose between being like or respected....I would pick respected.

and you can be respected without being liked

Respected. No doubt. Respect is earned through results; likability is meaningless in the long run.

TR, as a coach, I didn't think about it.  I did what I needed to do to build a program.  I don't think good coaches worry about being liked.  Interesting enough, I had a former basketball player come to my high school this past Friday to get in his observations for teaching.  I coached him at another school.  I introducted him to every class and let the students ask him questions.  He recounted his experiences playing for me which were hard for my students to believe.  I can barely walk anymore and so, he started by describing this huge brace I had to wear on one leg and the smaller brace I wore on the other.  He said that all of the players wanted to beat me but could not.  He talked about our drills and how I participated in all of them against the team.  He mentioned how often then left practice and hated me.  Then, he said that now when they get together all they talk about are those practices, the games and me.  It was very moving to hear him talk about it. 

 

I don't think he would mind so here is the end to the email he sent to me today:

"We did it because we knew we were becoming something greater in the process.  If at first it was just because we thought we ought to be able to keep up with Butler in the knee brace... In the end it was because we had learned that when you make an incredible investment in yourself and with your teammates, you just won't quit. You will not fail. We have not failed!

 

Coach, I still love being around you."

Awesome post coach thanks for posting that. I have always believed in order to get respect you have to give respect. Never hold anyone to a standard your not willing and capable of maintaining yourself. Treat others the way you would want to be treated. Never use your position as a platform to demand respect. Let your work ethic, character, passion, speak for you.

The stripes on the sleeve or the brass on the collar might make you believe your getting respect. But it's the person you are that earns reepect. I never worried about being respected or liked by my players. I figured if I showed them the respect they deserved and treated them the way I wanted to be treated everything would work out.

If you have to tell people who the boss is and demand their respect your not the boss and your not respected. Most likely your feared and very much disliked. Your players will be willing to run through a brick wall for you if you run through a brick wall for them.