Parents of student athletes who have successfully gone through the baseball recruiting process: as you look back, what would you say are your top 3 key learnings for those of us in the thick of it right now? We see bits and pieces of your wisdom in different threads, but would be great to see what you think matters most. Thanks in advance.
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Hmm, good question.
Obviously there is a lot of learning and sometimes it gets overwhelming and we lose our way.
The best advice I can give that I feel matters most....
Don't let it overwhelm you. Everyone is different, don't compare your son to anyone. Have him evaluated when he is ready. Dont go broke before college. Let it be fun for everyone in your family.
Guide your son through the process, don't do the work for him and never make excuses. Don't get pissed at him because he isn't performing to your standards or doesn't seem to care as much as you do. Keep it simple, let the coaches coach whether you like them or not. Remember it's his journey, not yours.
Which leads to....ENJOY THE RIDE. It won't last forever.
Sorry if that is more than 3.
TPM - thank you. 
TPM is spot on. I would like to add:
Cherish and appreciate the time spent going to practices, lessons, tournaments, games and such. It is an excellent opportunity to have meaningful parents/player/siblings bonding and no better way to strengthen a family. The playing won't last forever but the memories will.
The temptation will be great but after the game refrain from lecturing your son on the mistakes he made during the game or the missed opportunities. Believe me he knows what he did wrong and feels terrible. I was fortunate that every now and then my son came to ME asking for advice on things that happened during the game or showcase. That made my day.
Trust In The Process - Trust In Him. Everything happens for a reason. A negative thing can turn into a positive learning experience. If he doesn't get that D1 offer and must go to D3 there is a reason. He may find his perfect spouse there (like all of us are) or be the next CEO of a Fortune 500 because of academics instead of ball. We may not agree with the coach, the program, the hype, the expenses but this will all work itself out.
Look for the right fit for the player. The right school (i.e. this is a school desired if baseball is not in the decision making loop), level of play, and coach. If any of these are not the right fit the player may be very disappointed or frustrated. Not that there is not value in dealing with adversity but it is tough enough without additional hurdles. Answer's to all three of those are not going to result in certainties but due diligence allows the player to be an informed decision maker. Look at the roster turn over of Freshman players in on many rosters. After the first year there is a significant number of players that move due primarily to one of those three reasons.
College camps are helpful in seeing where the player fits among players who obviously have some interest in a particular school. My son's coach did "discover" some players at the camps but for the most part it is a place the coaches get a chance to see players in a controlled and game environment. Usually there are some players who were encouraged to go to the camp to get a final evaluation, the coaches are focusing on these players. They are a good experience and often have some learning value but don't over estimate the value of the camp in being picked out of a crowd. If camps are ran by the head coach (not sure where NCAA stands on that at this point) you get a chance to see how well the coach organizes and manage a day's event. I saw one camp that was an organizational disaster with regards to efficiency and value. Best camp I saw was by a DIII coach that manages a very competitive program.
The metrics do matter for many coaches. Speed is a major player at DI schools. Most players are sub 7.0 60s, the exception are the true power hitters at 1B, C's obviously track as slower runners. RHPs generally need 86-87 minimum velo to get on the coaches RADAR. Not saying it isn't possible but they do look for velo and the players potential to increase. Side arm RHPs can be in the 83 or greater but they have to get results. I think many coaches like a solid side arm pitcher for a different look especially if they have natural movement and can get ground ball outs.
I guess I'll go with a fourth one based on some other relevant threads. Having a high school or travel coach that has relationships or credibility with college coaches is very helpful to get a foot in the door. The player still has to perform but college coaches are sorting through a lot of players that have very similar talents. If they have coaches they trust recommending a player it opens the door.
The recruiting process is a great opportunity for your son to grow up and learn how to effectively deal with adults much sooner than he otherwise would have. He will learn how to communicate better - on the phone, in person, and via the written word. He will mature right before your eyes if you let him. Coach him lightly but let him find his way and take responsibility for the outcomes. You'll be amazed at what you see.
Try to focus on the real goal (my opinion) of recruiting - getting the best college education he can while still being able to play. While I can't stand the NCAA, they are right with one of their slogans - most kids will be professional at something other than their sport. In my opinion, too many families make college decisions or set goals with too much emphasis on the baseball piece, some seemingly ignore the actual college side all together. Some players walk away from great opportunities in lower divisions seemingly with the sole goal of getting to tell people they are going to play at a D1. There's a reason the transfer rate is so high and it's often due to trying to force a fit where one doesn't really exist.
Remember who actually loves your son and who doesn't. You love your son. Many coaches will say or imply they do - almost always they don't. Coaches are paid to win. Your son is a potential tool used to ensure job security. Everyone has a goal in the process, prioritize yours and stick with it.
It's a tough process to enjoy. You desperately want for your son to get what he wants and often times it doesn't appear to work out that way. There are days it tears your guts out. Be supportive. Be involved but don't do it for him. It's a tremendous opportunity to bond as a family and learn some life lessons. Lastly, try to remember that almost every parent thinks their son is more skilled than he actually is. That's because we're parents - it's our job to believe that.
MIDWEST MOM: Standing Ovation. What a great idea for a thread!
To add, but this is nothing new:
1) Go to as many games as you can. You never know when it will be the last.
2) Make friends with the other parents, then sit far far away. Cheer for the whole team, not just your son.
3) Everything happens for a reason. You just don't know it at the time.
4)(sorry) Keep a travel baseball budget once your child plays in college. You are going to want to travel to see him play, then championships, hotels, food, taking your son out to eat....as well as another player or two, fundraising, golf tournaments, etc. Don't think the buck stops at the end of HS travelball lol.
1. Try to relax and be patient. Your son will bloom when he blooms and no amount of parental angst is going to make that happen sooner than nature intends.
2. Remember that actions speak louder than words. College coaches will say many things, including some that you desperately want to hear, but at the end of the day it is what they actually do that matters.
3. It will almost certainly be a crazy, thrilling, unpredictable ride. In the words of the legendary Tom House, your heart will break a thousand times before this journey is over. It will also soar with pride and joy as you watch your son grow his wings and fly. Enjoy the ride for as long as it lasts!
Make the same parenting decisions and hold him accountable to his family and community responsibilities just as you would without baseball.
Love him for who he is outside of baseball and make sure he knows that.
You both should work the plan but you both should make sure you enjoy today - enjoy everything special about the HS years.
1. Have a plan and work the plan: This means poring over Princeton, US News, Fiske, and other resources, and really understand what are the options and what is important for YOUR SON, not you. Large school, small school, locations, get a feel for the vibe of a school. Spend evening after evening talking through these issues. Match GPA and test scores to where he will fit academically, forgetting about baseball. Talk about majors, interests, girls, what college life is like, get to really know your son in ways you probably did not know before these talks. Add in baseball after you fully understand 2) below. Part of the plan includes what you can afford and how academic, needs, and athletic $$ work. Plan that he will not have athletic money as the truth is that there is a 75% drop out rate from freshmen to seniors in baseball. Plan to spend a lot to visit and go to games. Add this into the budget and even if you do this it will be lower than you expected.
Once you get the school profile and know where he fits baseball wise, then make a list of top 30 programs and start to contact them to let them know your sons interest. Keep the plan and keep working it all the way through the process. There will be ups and down but keep an even keel and trust the plan.
2. Get a realistic unbiased view of where your son fits in the baseball world. College baseball is hard, REALLY HARD, and you need to have an independent view of where he fits. The D(number) means nothing and competing for a spot at the top D1 program in the country is no different to the players who are competing for the last roster spot and the worst DIII in the country. Your son will be competing with "big grown hairy men" when he walks on the field so get real on where he can earn a spot. Go to lots of college games to see for yourself. Everyone on the college field is all region something and most likely your son will not be something special compared to his teammates. You plan should have stretch, realistic, easy, baseball skill schools as well as academic.
3. College coaches are a bunch of used car salesmen. (during the recruiting process at least)They will say all kinds of things to make you feel good, but have your filter on and think about things from their perspective not you or your son. Make sure you talk to other players, parents, professors, trainers, about a program during the process. The recruiting coach in particular should be very suspect in your eyes. Until you have an offer in writing, it is all a bunch of BS and talk, so make sure you have multiple options as you can not trust what a coach says during this time in the process.
There are lots of others but I think these are the three most important.
Good luck!
Great thread idea Midwest Mom. Here are my three:
1. Don’t get caught up in the D1, D2, D3 circus. There are kids that are unquestionably D1 talents. But frankly those are few and far between. The are a whole lot more kids that fall on the fringe — can they make a D1 program… maybe. Will they sit for two or three years? Maybe. Just because they sit on the bench — that doesn’t mean they are excluded from the early morning lifting, the 3 hour practices, etc… From what I have heard first hand — that can be a grind, especially if you aren’t getting even a whiff of the field
Find a place where your kid will feel good about his role on the team — whatever that is. Don’t let your or your son’s ego drive you to make a wrong decision. The kids from Cal Lutheran were just as happy on the field at Appleton as the guys from Florida were in Omaha.
2. Fit and Love. If you had asked me in his sophomore year of high school whether he was going to attend a small liberal arts school in the Midwest — I’d have thought you were crazy. But after visiting a number of schools all over the country — my son was positive about his choice for many more reasons than baseball. While we are only a little over a month into it — so far, he has never sounded happier. At the end of the day — isn’t that what we want for our kids..to be happy. Will that continue throughout the year and over the whole four years — I sure hope so.
3. Have fun. Don’t let the fear of the future spoil the present. Enjoy the last few games you are going to watch. Trust me… it isn’t the same getting a blow by blow via text of his outing. I miss everything about watching him. I have a feeling the spring will be tough, especially this first year.
1. CAST A WIDE NET
Forget D1, D2, D3. There are outstanding baseball programs and learning facilities at the D3 level and there are crappy baseball programs and diploma mills at the D1 level. This whole thing is about 'finding the right fit' socially, economically , academically and Baseball. Most kids / parents overreach and chase the same 4-5 schools ( All D1 of course ) That is a potentially fatal mistake.
*Only 7% of HS players will play NCAA baseball.....Only 2% at the Division 1 level .......http://www.ncaa.org/about/resources/research/estimated-probability-competing-college-athletics
Cast a WIDE net . Look a multiple schools out of state . Remember the primary goal is a guaranteed roster spot and a solid undergrad degree. And in order to make that goal a reality you need OFFERS. It doesn't matter if it's a D3 guaranteed roster spot or baseball money from a D1 . You need offers to make the process move forward. NCAA RC's don't usually move until someone else moves first. Don't forget that. A guaranteed roster spot offer at a D3 becomes an email or text to the D1 that your son has been speaking with saying something to the effect of:
" Coach, I received this offer from Cal Lutheran , it's generous offer. The school is a good fit and I'm considering accepting but I want to check with you first to see where you guys are at with me"
Also, don't forget , unless you are a blue chip recruit that is eligible for the 2019 MLB draft . You really don't pick the school. THEY pick you . So, cast a wide net.
2. LEARN HOW TO VET INTEREST
The biggest problem in recruiting is that most parents / Kids do not know how to VET interest . Learn the difference between 'Follow' and 'Prospect' . Non-personalized email, Camp invites. Those are mass mailers sent to a gizzilion kids. Those kids are at best 'Follows' . Recruiting coordinators CALL and TEXT 'prospects' . They do not call 'Follows'.
The best way to tell if you're a prospect is the phone / text. No phone call / texts ? They are not interested . Move on.
Don't forget , you need 'Offers'. if your son is on the phone or texting a RC he needs to find out where they are at with their 2019 class. Have your son ask the question. Where is he on the 'Board' ?? All programs categorize their prospects on an ink board . Is he 1,2,3,4 on the depth chart for SS's ? Your son needs to ask. Most kids are afraid to ask but the culture in NCAA baseball is the RC's will tell you the truth.
Don't forget when a RC or HC wants a kid they act fast. There is no ambiguity . If there is not an offer, and you are talking w/ RC it is because they have interest in another player at your position and YOU are the back up if that kid goes somewhere else. The other kid I'm referring to, ALREADY has the offer . He just hasn't agreed to it. Remember most programs recruit anywhere from 50-200 kids a year and only commit 8-14 kids a year. They can shoot and miss. You can't ! you get one shot at this.......and you gotta get it right!
3. GO WHERE THEY LOVE YOU
When it is decision time, pick the school where everybody in the baseball dept is absolutely stoked to have you on the team. This is extremely important.
And lastly , when it's time for your son to make his decision . When there is a deadline. As a parent , STAY OUT OF IT ( I didn't talk to my son the last 24-36 hours before he committed )
It's your sons life and his decision. Let him make it .
Focus on development and training 13 and 14...winning is fine but the skills learned when transitioning to the big field need to be correct and ingrained deep.
Find a travel team that fits your budget, goals and focuses on player development and supporting the recruiting process. Winning will happen if they do it well anyway.
Don't rush the process, for some it will happen early others late. Start preparing your son to talk to with coaches at a young age, if they aren't naturally outgoing the first few months of coach contact can be stressful because they aren't quite prepared for the adult conversation. It goes really fast anyway!
Enjoy your time with them before college...mine has been gone 4 weeks and seems like a year. They aren't your little buddy anymore but they do want and need adult support, love and care. Don't baby them but always support them.
An old, wise, local baseball sage, told me once, "for a kid to play college baseball, he has to get past the car keys and the girlfriend." I never knew what he meant???? Until this past summer.
The window for most boys to be inspired to play, then be recruited to play, and finally commit to play college baseball is probably 13 - 18 years old. Within those five years boys go from being "boys," to being "men."
As 9and7 says above, "There are days it tears your guts out." He's referring to the recruiting process. And it will. But at some point, the back-slapping bear hug of a dad, or the warm embrace of a mom, just does not compare to the comfort of another teen age "soul mate." The desire to spend time with "Sally" at times competed heavily with the desire to work on baseball. Especially during those darkest of dark days. And let's be honest, baseball, as we all know, is not a game that loves you back as much as......"Sally." "Sally" will always love you (in HS anyway), but baseball is a cruel mistress and for the teenage boy spending time with "Sally" often outweighed the desire to spend time with fickle and cruel "Baseball."
And of course hanging with the guys on a Friday night or some random summer night, cruising town in a car, the freedom of a car, is also tempting. You want your son to have "a life" but so many temptations out there that can and will distract him from attaining his goal he set to claim at age 13.
We all want our players to still have a "life," as they go through this process. We want them to experience those important young life events, but to say that it can all be balanced equally (baseball 50% and normal teen life 50%) would be disingenuous. There is a huge sacrifice these kids make to accomplish their goal. They do pay a price, if they can stay the course.
Thankfully mine did, and made it "past the car keys and the girlfriend," but it was a squeaker.
the car wasn't a major issue, the girlfriend is a hardcore softball player, they have spent quality time in the cage working together...
Lots of lessons and tough to narrow it down to three.
1) Have a plan, and be willing to change the plan if he is not getting the desired results. We changed scope a couple times until we finally stumbled on the right situation. It was a lot of work, but I'm convinced after 20+ months we figured it out, and my son got the best possible outcome because of his flexibility.
2) Evaluate coaches by what they do, not what they say. Coaches will blow smoke up your butt...be prepared. They will tell you everything you want to hear. Young recruits get a false sense of secruity because they believe every word the coach is saying, but until they offer it doesn't mean anything. Until your son verbally commits, he needs to continue looking at new schools and keep the communication level high....no exceptions. Every time my son would cross a school off his list for one reason or another, we had to add at least one more school to the list.
3) Don't be afraid to say "no" or "can I think this over some more". Be patient and wait for the right fit based on your options. Coaches will only offer if they have a reason, typically they want to get a recruit before someone else does. It has to be the right fit to say "yes".
1. Map out the schools where he wants to attend/play baseball.
2. Don't let the RC pressure you, be clear about your timeline to decide.
3. Enjoy the ride, before you know it he will be at college and you'll be missing him around the house.
Shoveit4Ks posted:1. Map out the schools where he wants to attend/play baseball.
2. Don't let the RC pressure you, be clear about your timeline to decide.
3. Enjoy the ride, before you know it he will at college and you'll be missing him around the house.
Love your short, concise to the point reply! Hope all is well.
#clemsonfamily
1) You never know who is watching you. You may think you are playing some throw away game on a nowhere field and the right guy is watching you at the right time. Always act like you are being watched.
2) Grades and test scores are extremely important. Chances are you wont be getting a full ride for baseball no matter how good you are. One more A in HS or 1 point higher on the ACT can mean more in merit aid than you ever realize when you are half heartedly studying for these things.
3) Put more resources into getting more athletic than continuous individual hitting or pitching lessons. Getting to ANY level of college baseball is very competitive and hard to do. Guys are working very hard on strength, speed, and agility to get the edge to get as much scholarship money as possible. The earlier you realize this and start as well the better off you are. Put as much resources as possible toward athletic development and do one offs on individual hitting and pitching lessons as needed.
keewart posted:To add, but this is nothing new:
1) Go to as many games as you can. You never know when it will be the last.
2) Make friends with the other parents, then sit far far away. Cheer for the whole team, not just your son.
3) Everything happens for a reason. You just don't know it at the time.
4)(sorry) Keep a travel baseball budget once your child plays in college. You are going to want to travel to see him play, then championships, hotels, food, taking your son out to eat....as well as another player or two, fundraising, golf tournaments, etc. Don't think the buck stops at the end of HS travelball lol.
#2 is just great and so succinct. Made my cup of coffee even more enjoyable - even if almost spit it out at first read.
1, 2 & 3 - Realize that your individual family circumstance is exactly that, your INDIVIDUAL circumstance. Don't try and fit every sliver of advice on this website or any other, and don't sweat it when you can't or get different results. That isn't to say that all the advice here isn't invaluable, but realize, you have everything from parents of former first rounders out of high school to parents of kids who will never make any level of college roster here dispensing their advice and experience. None of it is wrong with regard to what works or doesn't, but realize that the perspective from where it comes all varies.
Just remember that you need to make the decisions and follow the path that works for you, your family and your player. Pick and choose what best applies to your individual situation and don't sweat the rest.
Lot of great advice from people who have been there and done that. I'm not sure I have anything to add, but I will reiterate;
1. "Enjoy the ride." I cannot overstate this one. It's like a hole in my soul where my son moved away and we don't have the daily interaction. It is very difficult to convey the magnitude of this one.
2. "Go to as many games as possible." Wow, this one is SO true. My son is 8 hours away, but the wife and I attended 10 weekend series, the SEC tourney and Omaha. I would not trade those memories for the world.
3. Believe in yourself (for the player). Do not let anyone tell you that you can't. Sell out to achieve your dream. Set the bar HIGH and do everything in your power to reach it.
I know this website has been around for years, but the advice presented in this thread over the last 12 hours is phenomenal. When I first saw the title, I starting thinking about what I could contribute - then I clicked on it and started reading. The OP asked for three, but it looks like this could be a Top 100 and headed for Golden Threads.
I am looking forward to reading more. I am now debating whether to go back through and "like" every post. Looks like this has great coverage of the pragmatic issues but fully covers the personal side of the process and seems to put the pragmatic advice in its proper context as how one goes about executing alongside this very important personal decision. I will emphasize that you need to love your son as the individual and don't make it appear that you love the ballplayer - and certainly don't imply that your lover waxes and wanes based on that day's results. Also, as mentioned above, hold him accountable so he matures as a person. He might literally have to hang up his cleats tomorrow and the end of the baseball journey should not be devastating - sad but not the end of life's journey. Two more points - cheer for the team (mentioned above) and carpool to LP to save on parking fees.
Being redundant but....
1) Enjoy the ride. Relish the memories
2) Grades matter, even after baseball is over
3) Visit different schools. Your son's original decision to attend a certain institution may be swayed/altered by a visit to a college that was not even on the horizon.
3.1) Don't spend $$$ chasing a pipe dream.
PS: If there is one thing that I wish that I/we had done that we didn't, it was buy a diary his Sophomore/Junior HS year and write down two or three comments on days that something happened. And keep it up until he no longer played. If nothing happened on a day, then write nothing. Keep up with milestones (different for different people), scouts calling, coaches calling, offers, etc, etc. (if nothing ever happened baseball-wise then I could choose to throw diaries away if I wanted but I could also keep)
1. Use this site for what it is — a wide variety of opinions that won't tell you what to do, it will tell you things to think about and consider as you decide what YOU want to do.
2. Your son has to want it, not you — we told ours in eighth grade that if he would do the work, we would financially back him. He had to schedule lessons, get himself up in the morning to go lift, etc. We weren't going to push him to do any of it. He has far exceeded our expectations.
3. Decide where baseball fits — a lot of people in this thread say "pick a school that would be a good fit if baseball weren't part of the equation." It's a nice idea and seems logical on the face of it, but the truth is, that's almost impossible. Son was looking at a nearby D1. He asked a friend who was going there about it and finally the kid said "honestly, my experience is completely different from what yours will be. If you come here, you'll live in the dorm with baseball players, you'll eat in their dining hall, your classes will be arranged around practices and games."
On visits, he liked the academics okay but loved the athletics. And the athletics was what mattered most to him. He'll get a good academic education. He'll get a great baseball education. We think that will be the right thing for him, but not for everyone.
1. Provide the same resources for your son to be successful in the classroom as you would his development as a player.
2. Remember every dollar spent on recruiting is one less dollar you'll have to invest in your son's education.
3. Good luck on trying to figure out the "perfect amount" for #2. I never did.
Great topic.
1. I'd (personally) try to relax more, particularly for 14u and under. And, there's no good reason a rough weekend at the plate -- which happens to everyone -- should affect the state of mind of a parent.
2. Despite the admitted wisdom in researching, planning and analyzing college programs and fit, I think there is a big inherent element of randomness/luck to the decision and how it ultimately works out. This is probably the case whether you son plays ball or not. My son is currently very happy with his role in his program, but I can't attribute this reality to our pre-decision legwork. And, I say "currently" because we all know that "fit" can change. There was a player on my son's team who was all-league as a sophomore, struggled as a junior and, last I heard, decided not to come back as a senior. If he does not come back, that equates to good luck (and better fit) for another player who will benefit from the newly available playing time. Sometimes you just don't know what's a great fit or what's going to work out until you are in the middle of it. Sure, do all of the homework, but be prepared for anything nonetheless and don't beat yourself up if it is not what you expected.
3. I echo the comment about re focusing more on athletic (speed) training. Like most, we had a bunch of hitting training, particularly when he was younger. Fewer hitting lessons and more sprinkled in speed training would have been smarter.
BOF posted:1. Have a plan and work the plan: This means poring over Princeton, US News, Fiske, and other resources, and really understand what are the options and what is important for YOUR SON, not you. Large school, small school, locations, get a feel for the vibe of a school. Spend evening after evening talking through these issues. Match GPA and test scores to where he will fit academically, forgetting about baseball. Talk about majors, interests, girls, what college life is like, get to really know your son in ways you probably did not know before these talks. Add in baseball after you fully understand 2) below. Part of the plan includes what you can afford and how academic, needs, and athletic $$ work. Plan that he will not have athletic money as the truth is that there is a 75% drop out rate from freshmen to seniors in baseball. Plan to spend a lot to visit and go to games. Add this into the budget and even if you do this it will be lower than you expected.
Once you get the school profile and know where he fits baseball wise, then make a list of top 30 programs and start to contact them to let them know your sons interest. Keep the plan and keep working it all the way through the process. There will be ups and down but keep an even keel and trust the plan.
2. Get a realistic unbiased view of where your son fits in the baseball world. College baseball is hard, REALLY HARD, and you need to have an independent view of where he fits. The D(number) means nothing and competing for a spot at the top D1 program in the country is no different to the players who are competing for the last roster spot and the worst DIII in the country. Your son will be competing with "big grown hairy men" when he walks on the field so get real on where he can earn a spot. Go to lots of college games to see for yourself. Everyone on the college field is all region something and most likely your son will not be something special compared to his teammates. You plan should have stretch, realistic, easy, baseball skill schools as well as academic.
3. College coaches are a bunch of used car salesmen. (during the recruiting process at least)They will say all kinds of things to make you feel good, but have your filter on and think about things from their perspective not you or your son. Make sure you talk to other players, parents, professors, trainers, about a program during the process. The recruiting coach in particular should be very suspect in your eyes. Until you have an offer in writing, it is all a bunch of BS and talk, so make sure you have multiple options as you can not trust what a coach says during this time in the process.
There are lots of others but I think these are the three most important.
Good luck!
Great topic Midwest Mom. I am just in awe how much info is here from so many knowledgeable parents. Nothing here will guarantee your son getting into a certain college/MLB. What it does provide though are the paths others have taken. It is now up to you which road you will take. Even today I second guess some directions we took, mostly because of my ignorance and lack of information (certainly not drive) as I wasn't aware of sites such as this one. In the end though things will happen for a reason, trust the process.
1. Don't Panic! I heard way too often, "If your son is getting D1 offers by the summer before his senior year, it is too late" No it is not, but it does mean he probably needs to get serious about his workouts, training and contacting schools. Panicking caused him to make a poor decision with the first school he committed to.
2. Don't rule out smaller schools and JUCO. We heard from multiple people, "He is too smart to go to a JUCO or he doesn't need to go to a JUCO". No he didn't "need" to, but he ended up being the best thing he ever did
3. Enjoy the time before he leaves for college. I did not realize how much I was going to miss it until he went 3,000 miles away his freshman year. Even though he was a red-shirted, I couldn't watch him progress and get better. Now he is at least close enough where I could drive for the weekend.
1) Bigger
2) Faster
3) Stronger
great thread! Keep it going folks!!
So many great responses!
My boys are not baseball superstars, so they fit in the big middle of most players that were seeking college baseball opportunities. We have been through the high school to college process twice and the college transfer process once.
I'll preface my "3" with the player should be prepared academically and athletically for college.
1) God's will be done, not mine. I (and my boys) tried to control too much the first time around, of what was in many respects beyond my (our) control. My boys were prepared academically and athletically, but no one can control whether the player gets injured or whether a coach likes the player or the weather is lousy on showcase day, etc.
2) Fish in the right pond. The player and family can prepare as best they can. And then that player needs exposure to the schools that fit him academically and athletically. I see it way too often that a player or parents misread where that player fits. And there's no magic...most players aren't miraculously found.
3) There are a lot of schools that could fit...cast a wide net. The NESCAC thread is great. Those schools are awesome. I focused solely on these and the Ivys with my oldest guy initially and he had tremendous interest/offers from them. And yet we were missing so many other great schools. Once we had a solid profile of where my sons fit academically and athletically, we created vetted lists of 40-50 schools. My sons then engaged those colleges and the list would expand and contract over time based upon many factors. The result was a lot of offers for both boys with schools that we were excited about. Where my guys ended up playing were places not on our initial 10 - 20 school radar.
We are going thru the process right now so not sure I am the best to provide three takeaways but I did want to share a few things since we are in the midst of it right now.
1. I think I have posted this in another thread but make sure you are not putting all of your eggs in one basket. Make sure you and your son are networking with others. It has helped my son tremendously...more so over the last 2 months. This can include team coaches, coaches from other teams, scouts, position and/or hitting coaches, parents of other players, advisors, etc.
2. I would also be careful with...your player has to want it more then you do. I definitely agree but the switch flips for players at different times in their lives. Some kids are born self-motivated. Others will flip the switch in middle school, some early in high school, and some will wait until it is crunch time. My son and I have a great relationship but it has been strained at times because I was trying to force the "you have to want it more then I do" on him when he was not ready. It started clicking for him winter of his junior year and he has made tremendous strides and is doing really well, despite not being very self-motivated with sports until later on in high school. The only exception to this for our family is academics. Obviously, we do not care if our kids are self-motivated...we are going to hold them accountable!
As we are still going through the process....wanted to thank everyone who is contributing to this thread. Tremendous help with great advice!
#1 Assistant Coach posted:An old, wise, local baseball sage, told me once, "for a kid to play college baseball, he has to get past the car keys and the girlfriend." I never knew what he meant???? Until this past summer.
The window for most boys to be inspired to play, then be recruited to play, and finally commit to play college baseball is probably 13 - 18 years old. Within those five years boys go from being "boys," to being "men."
As 9and7 says above, "There are days it tears your guts out." He's referring to the recruiting process. And it will. But at some point, the back-slapping bear hug of a dad, or the warm embrace of a mom, just does not compare to the comfort of another teen age "soul mate." The desire to spend time with "Sally" at times competed heavily with the desire to work on baseball. Especially during those darkest of dark days. And let's be honest, baseball, as we all know, is not a game that loves you back as much as......"Sally." "Sally" will always love you (in HS anyway), but baseball is a cruel mistress and for the teenage boy spending time with "Sally" often outweighed the desire to spend time with fickle and cruel "Baseball."
And of course hanging with the guys on a Friday night or some random summer night, cruising town in a car, the freedom of a car, is also tempting. You want your son to have "a life" but so many temptations out there that can and will distract him from attaining his goal he set to claim at age 13.
We all want our players to still have a "life," as they go through this process. We want them to experience those important young life events, but to say that it can all be balanced equally (baseball 50% and normal teen life 50%) would be disingenuous. There is a huge sacrifice these kids make to accomplish their goal. They do pay a price, if they can stay the course.
Thankfully mine did, and made it "past the car keys and the girlfriend," but it was a squeaker.
Too funny and hits so close to home! When son was 12 during one of our "bonding" times, I mentioned to him these 4 little words: "Girlfriends are dream busters". I know there are many ex-college players which this does not apply to since they are playing at the next level. If anything take it as a grain of salt.
Trust In Him posted:#1 Assistant Coach posted:An old, wise, local baseball sage, told me once, "for a kid to play college baseball, he has to get past the car keys and the girlfriend." I never knew what he meant???? Until this past summer.
The window for most boys to be inspired to play, then be recruited to play, and finally commit to play college baseball is probably 13 - 18 years old. Within those five years boys go from being "boys," to being "men."
As 9and7 says above, "There are days it tears your guts out." He's referring to the recruiting process. And it will. But at some point, the back-slapping bear hug of a dad, or the warm embrace of a mom, just does not compare to the comfort of another teen age "soul mate." The desire to spend time with "Sally" at times competed heavily with the desire to work on baseball. Especially during those darkest of dark days. And let's be honest, baseball, as we all know, is not a game that loves you back as much as......"Sally." "Sally" will always love you (in HS anyway), but baseball is a cruel mistress and for the teenage boy spending time with "Sally" often outweighed the desire to spend time with fickle and cruel "Baseball."
And of course hanging with the guys on a Friday night or some random summer night, cruising town in a car, the freedom of a car, is also tempting. You want your son to have "a life" but so many temptations out there that can and will distract him from attaining his goal he set to claim at age 13.
We all want our players to still have a "life," as they go through this process. We want them to experience those important young life events, but to say that it can all be balanced equally (baseball 50% and normal teen life 50%) would be disingenuous. There is a huge sacrifice these kids make to accomplish their goal. They do pay a price, if they can stay the course.
Thankfully mine did, and made it "past the car keys and the girlfriend," but it was a squeaker.
Too funny and hits so close to home! When son was 12 during one of our "bonding" times, I mentioned to him these 4 little words: "Girlfriends are dream busters". I know there are many ex-college players which this does not apply to since they are playing at the next level. If anything take it as a grain of salt.
aka The Three G's.....Girls, Grass & Gas. Has derailed many a promising career.
Midwest Mom posted:Parents of student athletes who have successfully gone through the baseball recruiting process: as you look back, what would you say are your top 3 key learnings for those of us in the thick of it right now? We see bits and pieces of your wisdom in different threads, but would be great to see what you think matters most. Thanks in advance.
Great post! I like every comment shared... I'll preface my comments with: I have a 2016 that went through the process and opted to be a student at the end - it hurt initially, but I respected and loved him more for the maturity of his decision. He's thrived in college, still loves the game, and has no regrets. My 2018 just committed to high academic D3 and there was a ton more learned. A few mechanical steps that are important:
1. Find a way to be realistic about your son's baseball capabilities. You can do this without being a dream killer, but get a skill assessment, get some measurables, know where he's at physically and athletically with regard to his recruiting class. It will serve as an excellent benchmark and give your son something to work towards. Talk to his club coach and hire an instructor to get his measurables before going to a high profile showcase where the results will be publicly available to coaches.
2. Understand there is more money available academically vs athletically. Being a good student early in the process will yield more recruiting opportunities.
3. The recruiting process is slightly different for position players vs pitchers especially if the player is targeting higher academic schools. He needs to be seen getting reps at his position and a chance to show his game actions. A coach can see you at a high profile tourney like WWBA, and he still may watch an entire game and not see you get a ball hit your way, or see you go 0 for 3 plus a Walk. At a showcase, it's very difficult for a position player; less chance of balls hit your way and you're facing less than top competition mix teams. So how does he see your skills? I suggest complementing your showcase circuit with going to your top targeted individual college fall camps the fall of the HS junior year. You'll have 2 full days in front of all the coaches to show your stuff, plus they'll get to know you, they'll remember you when you email them to tell them you'll be at the AZ Fall Classic, PG Academic, HF or ShBall. You won't be a number; you'll have recruiting momentum going into the summer of your senior year.
Trust In Him posted:#1 Assistant Coach posted:An old, wise, local baseball sage, told me once, "for a kid to play college baseball, he has to get past the car keys and the girlfriend." I never knew what he meant???? Until this past summer.
The window for most boys to be inspired to play, then be recruited to play, and finally commit to play college baseball is probably 13 - 18 years old. Within those five years boys go from being "boys," to being "men."
As 9and7 says above, "There are days it tears your guts out." He's referring to the recruiting process. And it will. But at some point, the back-slapping bear hug of a dad, or the warm embrace of a mom, just does not compare to the comfort of another teen age "soul mate." The desire to spend time with "Sally" at times competed heavily with the desire to work on baseball. Especially during those darkest of dark days. And let's be honest, baseball, as we all know, is not a game that loves you back as much as......"Sally." "Sally" will always love you (in HS anyway), but baseball is a cruel mistress and for the teenage boy spending time with "Sally" often outweighed the desire to spend time with fickle and cruel "Baseball."
And of course hanging with the guys on a Friday night or some random summer night, cruising town in a car, the freedom of a car, is also tempting. You want your son to have "a life" but so many temptations out there that can and will distract him from attaining his goal he set to claim at age 13.
We all want our players to still have a "life," as they go through this process. We want them to experience those important young life events, but to say that it can all be balanced equally (baseball 50% and normal teen life 50%) would be disingenuous. There is a huge sacrifice these kids make to accomplish their goal. They do pay a price, if they can stay the course.
Thankfully mine did, and made it "past the car keys and the girlfriend," but it was a squeaker.
Too funny and hits so close to home! When son was 12 during one of our "bonding" times, I mentioned to him these 4 little words: "Girlfriends are dream busters". I know there are many ex-college players which this does not apply to since they are playing at the next level. If anything take it as a grain of salt.
In the Beard family, we always said, "Girls are dream crushers!"
Nailed it.
Many have provided great answers above, so I will not reiterate them, but I'll add a few others that I believe strongly in:
1. Don't let son commit until he is ready. Don't get pressured and commit to a bad fit. This will make things tougher down the road. It is really hard to overcome when your kid de-commits late, and it can be extremely difficult to get back on the radar, even if your kid is a pretty good player.
2. Look into how teams recruit, especially how many they bring into the Fall. Ryan's D-1 school has 49 players at Fall Practice! That is a lot, and it may or may not be this coach's MO going forward. This is his first full recruiting class.
3. Make sure you understand exactly what is being offered. How much money is it in comparison to the overall cost of attendance? Can he qualify for Academic money? Financial Aid based on your family's circumstances. You'll be surprised how much money a kid can get based on finances. One D-1 offered Ryan $51,000 out of $57,000 all based on Finances.
