How would you advise a committed 2024 to deal with HS teammates who continuously are bringing each other down and making off season workouts difficult? I know kids will be kids, but that just seems like an excuse. Baseball is hard enough without toxic teammates.
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Is it because they are jealous or just a bad team atmosphere?
Both. I would say they are jealous, 2024 is biggest, fastest, strongest and best athlete. But this group has always been bad to each other and try to mask it with "competitiveness". Some of the kids just let it roll off. Others are deeply affected. I've heard some of it first hand and my 2027 tells me about it.
Anytime someone else's behavior causes you to be less than your own expectation of yourself, they've beaten you. Compete, use the negativity as fuel to drive toward your own expectations and goals.
When my son was a high school senior someone questioned why he was in charge of an off season workout. He was typically a quiet, lead by example personality. He got right in the player’s face and said, “I’m the effing leader here because I’ve effing earned it on the effing field. Effing accomplish something and we’ll effing discuss it further.”
Given my son was typically calm and rarely swore, much less drop F bombs it scared the crap out of the kid.
I wouldn’t have know this story has some players not taken it home, told their fathers and the fathers told me.
Are all the other teammates toxic? Or are there factions? Is your son a captain/leader? Regardless, it's a learning experience, although I agree that it's an unfortunate one.
Some of the kids I see at practice and at games over the years just need their asses beat.
It is a leadership problem with your team.
When Seth was a Freshman/Sophomore, the captains were so outstanding they even stood up to coaches when they thought they were wrong!
Just great young men. And everyone followed their lead.
@Good Knight posted:It is a leadership problem with your team.
When Seth was a Freshman/Sophomore, the captains were so outstanding they even stood up to coaches when they thought they were wrong!
Just great young men. And everyone followed their lead.
It is a leadership problem with your team.
It is a leadership problem with your team.
It is a leadership problem with your team.
Bad teammate behavior is on the coaches. Should not be allowed.
Maybe it's on the coaches. But still, a kid has to deal with the hand he's dealt. Maybe the coach is not (allowed to be) involved with off-season stuff. Maybe he knows that some kids don't like each other, but what's he supposed to do? The point is, a kid in this situation has to deal with it. He can put his head down and do his own work, try to set an example. He can rally like-minded kids to work productively. He can go talk to a coach. He can try to convince the problem kids to pipe down.
Maybe he will later think he dealt with it the wrong way - that's what I mean about learning.
@BB and BB is there a group that are not toxic? If there are, make sure he aligns himself with them, keeps his head down and keeps doing the right thing to the best of his ability. All of My kids have dealt with it but my middle daughter experienced it more than my son or her older sister.It can be brutal because they spend so much time together. If at all possible, he needs to find his people and carve out a healthy pocket i. The midst of disfunction.
@BB and BB, lots of families are dysfunctional and members of those families are parts of sports teams. As both players and coaches. So common sense would suggest that there is dysfunction in sports teams. Learning a healthy way to deal with unhealthy people is a life skill that everyone needs. Maybe now more than ever before. Your son has an opportunity to learn that skill now. As @PTWood says, your son should distance from the bad actors and align with the good. Your son may have to sacrifice some popularity now for the good of his team and for the sake of his future. But @SpeedDemon is 100% correct in that it is a leadership problem with your team. If the HC won’t lead your son may have to. For his own good. My middle son played for a HS HC that wasn’t a good leader and that team had the same symptoms you described. Four kids ran roughshod over the rest of the team and the coach allowed it to happen. The result was a miserable experience for my son. Almost 10 years later he still wants nothing to do with those kids or his HS. I learned from that experience and advised my youngest son (who like your son was the biggest and best player) to take a strong leadership role. He was reluctant to do it at first but by his senior year he was the unquestioned leader of his team (at a different HS). And his team was better for it, making the playoffs for the only time in the past 10 years. My son, now seeing the benefits of being a leader, also became captain of his college team. Your son is in a difficult situation. But having lived this with 2 of my kids I see two options.
1) stay low key, ride it out, and hope for the best OR; 2) become a vocal leader and try to get his teammates in line.
@SpeedDemon posted:Bad teammate behavior is on the coaches. Should not be allowed.
100%.
Should not be your son's responsibility to right the ship.
The best advice I can give is to avoid toxic people. While this might seem impossible, it isn't. The vast majority of toxic people depend upon responses from others. Don't engage. Also, leadership through positive action can change the dynamics of a team. The toxic people will find themselves on the outside looking in when teammates get to work and refuse to give them an audience.
BB;
Always remember the "role of the hitter" SEE THE BALL!!
The role of a pitcher focus on the web. "Learn the total game"
If you focus on self improvement, the "troublemakers" do not exist. The less talent a player has the more he desires to impress by stupid behavior.
Bob
