I cannot tell you how sad it makes me to hear about this young man...a pitcher with such a bright future.
But this happens more than one cares to admit.
The signs of depression aren't always recognizable IMHO.
We had a young player was scheduled to be a startter on his team this year. His family left home and his father left to go to the store. The boy said to his dad, "Dad, I love you".
The father returned home from the store and found his son hanging from the neck, in the garage.
Unbeknownst to the family the boy had been suffering from depression...later determined by conversations with his friends.
We were devestated to learn this as we knew this palyer and he had played on teams with my son.
This is happening to much in our country with to many kids in high school...but it is not discussed nor has an alarm been sounded about it.
No one wants to admit that our schools are institutions that are teaching to much about the negative and depressive aspects of the human condition. "Catcher In The Rye" by Jd Salinger left me with the thought what a depressed individual. If you have a kid that sounds like Caulfield, watch out.
What we put in our children's heads does have an impact on the way they view themselves and the world around them.
Parents need to grab ahold of the school curriculums and clean them up before it's to late.
JMHO
I don't think you're wrong Tom. Certainly, there are few of us, hopefully, who have been touched so closely, nor so often, as you just related is the case in your own family. My sympathies to you, though I understand you aren't soliciting sympathy, but rather relating your position, from personal experience. As always, I respect your opinion.
As a parent, I find that I benefit from understanding the experiences of others. I am not so naive as to expect that my own experience with my children will follow exactly with those of another. However, I do believe that, as information increases, so do options. Information is power. I, for one, would welcome that forum for discussion.
My heart is broken for this young man's family, teammates and friends. My prayers go out to them for peace and, if possible, understanding.
As a parent, I find that I benefit from understanding the experiences of others. I am not so naive as to expect that my own experience with my children will follow exactly with those of another. However, I do believe that, as information increases, so do options. Information is power. I, for one, would welcome that forum for discussion.
My heart is broken for this young man's family, teammates and friends. My prayers go out to them for peace and, if possible, understanding.
Ramrod:
You make some excellent points.
I read an article recently in the Chicago Tribune that described ecophobia.
This ecophobia is generated by people spreading dire reports, in their opinion, about the ever-worsening health of our environment. Young people, in particular, are being frightened to the point that they will not go out in nature because of all of the negativity being taught and reported on about our environment.
Kids are literally too afraid to go outside. That's nonsense. The article said that negative reports about the environment should come at a later age, but the writer even chronicled accounts of this ecophobia actually crippling adults.
The Doom and Gloom crowd admits that their message is dreary and depressing, but they insist on spreading it...but perhaps not to grade schoolers.
Most often with this type of reporting there is little to no discussion of progress that is being made constantly in cleaning up our environment...seldom any talk of hope...seldom any mature discussion of utilizing our resources responsibly. The other, uplifting and optimistic, side of the story is almost always ignored. That is dangerous and shameful in my opinion.
The Doom and Gloom bunch are getting what they sow. Even they understand this now.
Your thoughts on the matter are very relevant to the topic at hand...it just shouldn't be this way...we can and must do better.
You make some excellent points.
I read an article recently in the Chicago Tribune that described ecophobia.
This ecophobia is generated by people spreading dire reports, in their opinion, about the ever-worsening health of our environment. Young people, in particular, are being frightened to the point that they will not go out in nature because of all of the negativity being taught and reported on about our environment.
Kids are literally too afraid to go outside. That's nonsense. The article said that negative reports about the environment should come at a later age, but the writer even chronicled accounts of this ecophobia actually crippling adults.
The Doom and Gloom crowd admits that their message is dreary and depressing, but they insist on spreading it...but perhaps not to grade schoolers.
Most often with this type of reporting there is little to no discussion of progress that is being made constantly in cleaning up our environment...seldom any talk of hope...seldom any mature discussion of utilizing our resources responsibly. The other, uplifting and optimistic, side of the story is almost always ignored. That is dangerous and shameful in my opinion.
The Doom and Gloom bunch are getting what they sow. Even they understand this now.
Your thoughts on the matter are very relevant to the topic at hand...it just shouldn't be this way...we can and must do better.
Stories like the ones we are talking about here are devastating to family members and friends. Suicide attempts are not a new phenomenon. There are so many possible reasons that cause kids, as well as adults, to become depressed. Depression is suffered by an overwhelming percentage of our population.
We all may not be experts in this area.......but we are all human beings. We may have as many people who contribute to these forums who know as much, or more about mental health than they do about baseball.
Unfortunately, what we learn from the tragedies of suicide is often lost with time. This week and perhaps next week we will discuss these issued with loved ones, and we will talk about recognizing some of the warning signs of depression. We will perhaps have a dialogue about what to do in case we know a person who exhibits the symptoms of depression.
But in a few weeks most people will put the issue to rest and leave it in the past. We are only discussing it now because a college baseball player committed suicide this week.
The "I love yous" must occur every day, week, month and year, not just this week.
The "perceived pressures" that our kids feel from us (parents) are not just perceptions by them; THEY ARE REAL!
Baseball is just a game. It is not life. Losing a baseball game is not failing. Striking out is not failure. Giving up a game winning homerun does not make a pitcher a loser.
Depression is real. When our kids feel pressure from us to "be the best", to "be the hardest worker", to earn a scholarship, no matter how much we love them, it is pressure that their young emotions have to deal with every minute of every day. While we earn an income doing something else, our kids are thinking they will let us down if they don't earn a scholarship, or get drafted, or whatever the "goal" is that the parents (help) set for the kids.
Every word we speak to a kid, whether it is in person, on the phone, in writing, on this website or anywhere else, contributes something to that kid's self-esteem, or lack thereof.
It may be our own kids, it may be the neighbor kids, or the ones we coach, or the ones we respond to here on the HSBBW......whoever it is, we can make a difference.
It is up to each one of us to become a positive influence in each kid we have the privilege to interact with. Kids get depressed, adults get depressed.
It is more important to become an expert at being a human being than it is to be an expert at baseball.
It is our duty to examine, each day, the effect we have on the other human beings around us, and the fragile egos of adolescents are the ones we discuss every day on this website.......depression can kill.
External pressure can kill. Hard work does not guarantee athletic victory; it does not guarantee a scholarship, a starting position, or a pro contract. Those goals are out of our control.
What is within our control is to love, to nurture, to enjoy our kids today, and for us to give them the message that they are more precious to us than their accomplishments are.
We all may not be experts in this area.......but we are all human beings. We may have as many people who contribute to these forums who know as much, or more about mental health than they do about baseball.
Unfortunately, what we learn from the tragedies of suicide is often lost with time. This week and perhaps next week we will discuss these issued with loved ones, and we will talk about recognizing some of the warning signs of depression. We will perhaps have a dialogue about what to do in case we know a person who exhibits the symptoms of depression.
But in a few weeks most people will put the issue to rest and leave it in the past. We are only discussing it now because a college baseball player committed suicide this week.
The "I love yous" must occur every day, week, month and year, not just this week.
The "perceived pressures" that our kids feel from us (parents) are not just perceptions by them; THEY ARE REAL!
Baseball is just a game. It is not life. Losing a baseball game is not failing. Striking out is not failure. Giving up a game winning homerun does not make a pitcher a loser.
Depression is real. When our kids feel pressure from us to "be the best", to "be the hardest worker", to earn a scholarship, no matter how much we love them, it is pressure that their young emotions have to deal with every minute of every day. While we earn an income doing something else, our kids are thinking they will let us down if they don't earn a scholarship, or get drafted, or whatever the "goal" is that the parents (help) set for the kids.
Every word we speak to a kid, whether it is in person, on the phone, in writing, on this website or anywhere else, contributes something to that kid's self-esteem, or lack thereof.
It may be our own kids, it may be the neighbor kids, or the ones we coach, or the ones we respond to here on the HSBBW......whoever it is, we can make a difference.
It is up to each one of us to become a positive influence in each kid we have the privilege to interact with. Kids get depressed, adults get depressed.
It is more important to become an expert at being a human being than it is to be an expert at baseball.
It is our duty to examine, each day, the effect we have on the other human beings around us, and the fragile egos of adolescents are the ones we discuss every day on this website.......depression can kill.
External pressure can kill. Hard work does not guarantee athletic victory; it does not guarantee a scholarship, a starting position, or a pro contract. Those goals are out of our control.
What is within our control is to love, to nurture, to enjoy our kids today, and for us to give them the message that they are more precious to us than their accomplishments are.
.
Grateful...
Started to highlight a few passages from your exceptional post and found them all to be exceptional.
A truly inspiring effort.
44
.
Grateful...
Started to highlight a few passages from your exceptional post and found them all to be exceptional.
A truly inspiring effort.
44.
quote:External pressure can kill. Hard work does not guarantee athletic victory; it does not guarantee a scholarship, a starting position, or a pro contract. Those goals are out of our control.
What is within our control is to love, to nurture, to enjoy our kids today, and for us to give them the message that they are more precious to us than their accomplishments are.
Have to agree with OB44 - outstanding post Grateful.
Offering prayers for the family and friends, what a horrid tragedy.
A close friend, childhood playmate, sports teammate, and 25 year client, committed suicide a year ago. No note, no explanation, no nothing. He was under treatment for depression and apparently stopped taking his medicine.
Aside from the obvious sadness and loss to family and friends, perhaps the hardest part of all is that many who loved him will forever wonder if they missed a sign, a tip, a hint or something that should've alerted them to what was about to happen. His elderly parents are just the sweetest people in the world, and they simply will never ever get over it. He worked with his dad all day, every day, and he never saw it coming.
Sometimes we can only pray for those left behind, realizing we just simply may never understand a whole lot of things, but trust in our Maker.
A close friend, childhood playmate, sports teammate, and 25 year client, committed suicide a year ago. No note, no explanation, no nothing. He was under treatment for depression and apparently stopped taking his medicine.
Aside from the obvious sadness and loss to family and friends, perhaps the hardest part of all is that many who loved him will forever wonder if they missed a sign, a tip, a hint or something that should've alerted them to what was about to happen. His elderly parents are just the sweetest people in the world, and they simply will never ever get over it. He worked with his dad all day, every day, and he never saw it coming.
Sometimes we can only pray for those left behind, realizing we just simply may never understand a whole lot of things, but trust in our Maker.
G. That was one of the most important things I've ever read on HSBBW. Thanks for a beautiful reminder and thoughts. 
Grateful and hokieone:
Touching, thought provoking posts. Thank you very much.
It really is an everyday effort.
Touching, thought provoking posts. Thank you very much.
It really is an everyday effort.
.
lafmom...
I agree completely...
44
lafmom...
I agree completely...
quote:G. That was one of the most important things I've ever read on HSBBW.
44
.
Hokie...
Have been touched by this same circumstance twice.
Am hearing FAR, FAR to many of these same tagic circumstances/stories...
44
Hokie...
quote:He was under treatment for depression and apparently stopped taking his medicine.
Have been touched by this same circumstance twice.
Am hearing FAR, FAR to many of these same tagic circumstances/stories...
44
I have supervised/handled 150-200 suicides through the years involving all age groups. With teens the greatest commonality is access to a firearm. I am not demonizing guns and I know there are many ways someone can take their own life but please keep those guns in a locked safe. The sorrow these deaths cause the family and friends is enormous.
sgtdad:
That's good advice. Thanks.
That's good advice. Thanks.
I will echo the sentiment that the post from Grateful was one of the best ever on this website.
I also think that this quote ranks right up there, too.
I also think that this quote ranks right up there, too.
quote:
Sometimes we can only pray for those left behind, realizing we just simply may never understand a whole lot of things, but trust in our Maker.
The collective wisdom of the HSBBWeb is the true real value of this site and what makes it such a special place. We have commonality in that we are all trying to do the best we can with what ever GOD given talents and abilities we have been dealt.
Listen to your family and friends… don’t just listen, hear what is being said. Observe… have the patience to see what’s taking place. Take the time to do these things, it takes time. Stop and be still. Have the courage to take action if you suspect, hear, or see something. Call for help… family, friends, doctors, police,… get involved… Take action…. Be vigilant… Error on the side of caution. It takes courage to do uncertain and possibly unpopular things, be the “bad guy”. Get involved.
The tragedy, IMHO, is the sense of isolation & loneliness the inability to do anything about it, the helplessness, the desperation. Don’t try to make sense out of this it’s senseless. TR’s right in that this is best left to professionals… professional fathers mothers, brothers, sisters, friends.
Thoughts and prayers to this family and all those touched by similar situations.
The Bad Guy
Listen to your family and friends… don’t just listen, hear what is being said. Observe… have the patience to see what’s taking place. Take the time to do these things, it takes time. Stop and be still. Have the courage to take action if you suspect, hear, or see something. Call for help… family, friends, doctors, police,… get involved… Take action…. Be vigilant… Error on the side of caution. It takes courage to do uncertain and possibly unpopular things, be the “bad guy”. Get involved.
The tragedy, IMHO, is the sense of isolation & loneliness the inability to do anything about it, the helplessness, the desperation. Don’t try to make sense out of this it’s senseless. TR’s right in that this is best left to professionals… professional fathers mothers, brothers, sisters, friends.
Thoughts and prayers to this family and all those touched by similar situations.
The Bad Guy
I have felt so personally devastated by this young man's death I think because I saw him pitch earlier this year, so it is weighing very heavily on my mind. Such a talented young man, and with a loving family too.
This morning there was an article in the Reno paper that some might find illuminating or helpful, talking more specifically about ways we can be aware and help to avert this in our children and their friends. Here is the link:
http://news.rgj.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060501.../605010338/1016/NEWS
This morning there was an article in the Reno paper that some might find illuminating or helpful, talking more specifically about ways we can be aware and help to avert this in our children and their friends. Here is the link:
http://news.rgj.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060501.../605010338/1016/NEWS
Bordeaux:
Thank you for the link to the article.
Thank you for the link to the article.
Oh, wow. Thanks for the link to the article. Those are sobering statistics.
Smokey:
Great post. Thanks for writing it.
Another "Bad Guy."
Great post. Thanks for writing it.
Another "Bad Guy."