Skip to main content

24 replies

Turning friends into (pseudo) enemies.

WklinkWklink500+ posts
Here is something I don't think my 2015 kiddo expected when he started playing for his Freshman team this year. It is sort of a funny story and I'm sure something that a lot of parents can relate to.

He has played as a youth on several teams and has made more than his share of friends over time. Most of these are going to other high schools.

He played one game today against another local high school. They are a 3A team while ours is a 2A (going to be 3A next years though) so they aren't traditional rivals but three players on the Freshman squad were buddies of my son for a long time playing together on a couple of youth baseball teams.

I'm over on the other side, hanging out with a couple of guys that I knew for years, talking about the old times and commenting on 'how big all of our boys have gotten'. The pitcher, I knew his father and he knew my son, did a good job striking out my son on a nice curveball. I was polite and complemented dad on how well his son was doing. His son was doing well. Our team tends to put a few runs up on the board and for the first couple of innings this kid did a good job, keeping the score 1-0 in our favor.

Everything was friendly until the to of the third inning when my son unloads a double against the same kid and ends up scoring. I kinda snuck away from the dads after that, knowing that my Judas son one hopped the wall at their sacred high school. He later added a single that plated two more. He ended up going 2-3 with a walk later before he was pulled in the final inning so others could get playing time. We won 14-0.

My son was actually upset after the game. He went over of course to talk to his old buddies but they of course weren't in any mood to talk to my him. I pretty much informed him that while blood is thicker than water school pride is thicker than pine tar and that he might as well plan on not being these guy's buddies during baseball season. I think he understood but it was still hard for him to get the cold shoulder from these guys.
Original Post

Replies sorted oldest to newest

fillsfanfillsfan1,000+ posts
Maybe because they are still freshman and still finding themselves as baseball players your son was given the cold shoulder. Every time my son plays against former teammates, and he still does in college, they always seem to be cordial after the games. Win or lose, it doesn't change the respect for each others game, and friendships they developed while playing together. Hopefully your son will experience the same thing as he gets older.
justbaseballjustbaseball10,000+ posts
Really competitive people generally 'hate to lose' even more than they 'love to win.' Its a questions scouts sometimes ask kids...which feeling is stronger.

These are kids who...'hate to lose' and thats not really a bad thing. I bet your son is one of those too. Wink

In any case, as maturity grows in these young kids (a couple of years probably), as fillsfan notes...they will learn to bury their 'hate to lose' feeling for a few minutes to be good to their friend.
Last edited by justbaseball
RJMRJMHSBaseballWeb member since 2007
My son always got along fine with travel teammates after high school games. A couple of times after tough loses the winner knew to stay away from the loser until he was ready to say hello.

One game my son stoled second and put up a finger on each hand towards the catcher (travel teammate) for 1-1. A few innings later he stoled second again and signaled 2-2. In the handshake line the catcher yelled "Hey M Jr" and held up two fingers and a zero for the 2-0 score. When they crossed in the line they started wrestling. The coaches thought it was real.

We've gone to dinner with travel teammates after high school games.
Last edited by RJM
P 2013 Parent100+ posts
Interestingly, 2013 usually has no problem with travel teammates on other high school teams.

Last season, however, his high school team won a very tight conference game. The opposing high school coach happened to be his travel coach at the time. After the game 2013 saw him in the parking lot and tried to tell him good game/tough loss.

Travel coach walked past him without saying a word.
Farmer DadFarmer Dad10+ posts
Several of my son's summer teammates played for our cross-town rivals and the games could get ugly. During their last game their senior year they new how my son felt about his head coach and told him he could come sit in their dugout if he wanted to. After the game (his team lost) he was laughing and joking with some of the other players as they shook hands. That didn't go over well with his coach. Now several of them are playing in college and they all keep up with each other to see how they are doing.
T twotex1,000+ posts
When my son was about the age of yours, he played on a travel team in the summer, then switched to a different one in the fall.

The two teams played each other for the championship. After striking out on a curve ball in an early inning, he hit the curve for a double to tie up the game in late innings. He also made a key play at home (he's the catcher) to end a late rally. His new team went on to win by a run or two.

He got the cold shoulder (no knuckle knocks) after the game.

Since then he has played on the same team with the pitcher with the curve ball, and the player he tagged out at home. None of them have never spoken about the game, and they are good teammates.

Nothing wrong with being competitive. I do think it is easier now that they are older. They talk a lot of trash but walk away from the games feeling the same about each other as when the game starts.
L 2013leftydad100+ posts
2013 has more summer teammates on other teams than his own...

Playing rival and knew it was going to happen sooner or later. Son comes in to pitch with their son at the plate - all while I'm talking to parents. You want your son to do good but not really at the expense of your friends son. Their son gets a single producing an RBI. I make a comment “(hitter) wins the battle but (pitcher) wins the war”?. Turns out our team wins the game in a hard fought contest and LHP gets the win.

Fist bump line was very cordial, not to rub things in or to start animosity. However once team meetings were over, parking lot was different story. Once the jerseys were off you couldn't tell what team they were on. It was all one big group as most of these boys have played with / against each other for years and hang out after school.

Rival / enemies for 2 hours, back to friends once the jerseys are off....

I wish all teams were this way...

That’s why they call it a game face…
KaizenKaizen100+ posts
Wklink, my experience has been different than yours. Around here, it seems that ex-teammates who now play for different schools are still good friends once the game is over. They will seek each other out for a quick chat and handshake or hug before boarding the bus. And after senior night games (last home game for the graduating seniors with post-game festivities), they will stick around afterwards to give each other gifts.
MizzoubaseballMizzoubaseball1,000+ posts
I'm with 2013leftydad on this, but we are in the same area. Every game you see parents going to the other side and talking to other parents. You can even tell who plays together in the summer during the good game line. The summer teammates will slow down, or give a good handshake, or hand on the shoulder. Never any problems. After the games, parents always congratulating other kids.

I did real one big blow up on facebook two years ago, but then it blew over quickly. Like Midlo said, just big talk until they met face to face.
KC DawgKC Dawg100+ posts
Freshman son played game last week against team with 9 of 15 kids he had played on travel teams with previously. Our team came back from 7-2 down to win 8-7 in the 7th inning. Their catcher - a teammate as recent as this past fall -slid into second for a double. My son, fielding the ball at second says "nice hit." As the kid dusts himself off he replies "almost as nice as the one you hit earlier." He also had a pretty good conversation with another kid who got stranded at second thru two batters. Overall, while he - and they - are competitive there was room for being cordial.

Flash back to January and basketball. My kid stole to ball from that same kid who was stranded on second and went up for the layup. The kid laid him out from behind. I personally thought it was just a very hard foul, but the refs called it an intentional and he got the shots and the ball back. They talked - and laughed about it after the game - but there was no friendly banter once the game got started.

Two different sports with slightly different emotions.
C CaBB1,000+ posts
At the college level kids make friends from all over the map due to their summer ball teams. Just this season we took an opposing player out to dinner because his father took my son out while he played in the Northwoods league.

Same with his friends that are scattered across several leagues. They quite often will go out to dinner with opposing players that they played with during the summer. I think it's a sign of maturity that they can leave some of the wins/losses on the field. You'll miss out on lots of great people if you dislike them just because they beat your team.
AM AL MA 08100+ posts
Hey Wklink, (BTW "Hey" means "Hi" if you are from he south!) great memories you are talking about here in your post. Yours are fresh memories and it looks like many are sharing theirs as well. I would say that friendships will endure such tests and agree with justbaseball that most likely most players hate to loose more than they like to win. Add to that that your son's school is a smaller school (here 1A smallest 6A largest) places in the mind of the loosing team some embarresment factor. We experienced more opponents than enemies, but some conflicts did arise.

The memory that jumps out at me most is when mine pitched against the school for our neighborhood but he went to a small private school close by (3A vs 6A). We played at the park and on travel ball with almost every kid on the 6A team. The first game he pitched against them he was wearing a grin from ear to ear! Did not matter if they hit it or struck out, he did not loose that grin the whole game. I have been trying to remember if we won? I believe we did because we had a great team through those years and beat most of the large schools. Funny how I can't remember the win, but I can still see that GRIN Big Grin
Last edited by AL MA 08
around the hornaround the horn10+ posts
Wklink this very same scenario could play itself out if Olympia 4A meets up Emerald ridge 4A in the playoffs this year. There are 5 players from Olympia and 6 from ER that play on the same summer team. if they meet up it will almost be like an intersquad game. It will no doubt have some big ramifications.... hopefully it happens stay tuned. It will get better as your son gets older orrr just intensify only time will tell.Good luck
JC Jeff Connell100+ posts
We noticed somewhat of a different approach. My son played on 17 different teams in high school from one game to several tournaments so he had a lot of team mates spread all over the country. His high school teammates and especially their parents could not understand how he could shake hands and laugh with the enemy (opposing teams). They could not grasp that he could be friends with someone the opposite team. Once the game started he was as competitive as any but before and when it was over they were teammates just not that day.

Now that he is playing college. I have noticed the guys will go over during bp before the game and hang out after the games talking to old teammates and competitors. They are just looking for someone with connections.

On a side note. My older son and the a player went at it hard in basketball and baseball all through high school. Pretty much hated each other. My son even hit him pitching in their last game. I'm pretty sure on purpose. Now they are best friends and actually put together a team last year to play in a tournament. They still laugh about the hitting incident.

Sports has a way of making enemies into friends and sometimes friends into enemies.
P playball20115,000+ posts
You may be reading more into what happened then necessary. My son at age 14 needed a good hour after a loss to get over it and move on.The problem I see it is that your son went over right afer game ended. They were upset and are also around their school team and it may look bad for them to appear friendly with your son. Losing can mean a lot to some kids and they just need time by themsleves. Doesn't necessarily mean that they were mad at your son or don't like him anymore. He could have texted them later or next day.
A Aleebaba1,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by playball2011:
You may be reading more into what happened then necessary. My son at age 14 needed a good hour after a loss to get over it and move on.The problem I see it is that your son went over right afer game ended. They were upset and are also around their school team and it may look bad for them to appear friendly with your son. Losing can mean a lot to some kids and they just need time by themsleves. Doesn't necessarily mean that they were mad at your son or don't like him anymore. He could have texted them later or next day.


I agree with playball. My kid has played with many kids in the Summer that are close friends, but now play for different schools (and summer teams). Always wait awhile after game before approaching.
J JunkBall210+ posts
My son played varsity as a freshman and learned the hard way that friends on the opposing team are usually considered temporary enemies. In a particularly contentious game with a district rival, the umps gave warnings to each dug-out to help maintain control. My son then had a single that he stretched into a double by just beating out a hard tag from the shortstop. The play ended and the next batter was up. He was standing near the base and had a few words with the shortstop. The ump overheard my son tell the shortstop that he would catch him in the parking lot later. The ump promptly threw my son out of the game for making a threat.

It turns out the shortstop was a friend who was also a freshman. They were saying hello to each other and wanted to catch up after the game. Luckily the shortstop spoke to the umpire and explained the context of the conversation. The ump reinstated my son and the game continued. Since then, my son has considered friends on the other team as temporary enemies and are not spoken to until after the game.
Last edited by JunkBall2
G GsKaWa10+ posts
Wow this is all kinda crazy and its just between friends. I have a coach on my team this year that just divorced his wife and she moved across town so she put her kid on the team across town. We have to play that team on a regular basis so how do you think this is going to feel between a father and son? I don't really approve of it because its just a little league team. I feel the dad should be helping his son but this is lookin like tough love!

Add Reply

Post
.

Membership Required

We're sorry. You must be signed in to continue. Sign In or Register
×
Are you sure you want to remove from your Block List?
×
Loading...
×
When you block a person, they can no longer invite you to a private message or post to your profile wall. Replies and comments they make will be collapsed/hidden by default. Finally, you'll never receive email notifications about content they create or likes they designate for your content.
Note: if you proceed, you will no longer be following .
×
Advanced Search
Advanced Search
Link copied to your clipboard.
×