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If so, which subjects are acceptable for Parent to discuss with Coach and which are a No-No?

(ie Redshirting, Leaving Program, Getting Cut, Financial Situation, Scholarship, Entry into Portal, Tuition, Role of kid in Program, Transferring, Direction of Program, Dissatisfaction of Program,  etc?)

Thank You!

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I would think that a short follow-up email is appropriate for anything your player has already discussed with the coach, especially if it concerns an injury.  In my experience, there's a lot of anxiety around summer placement; often, parents have questions about how the summer housing process works. But I would never contact the coach if your player hasn't already met with the coach one-on-one. 

If you email, the coach can signal what level of engagement they are comfortable with or pass it off to another person on their staff. But my player had a friendly HC. . . . would be interested to hear what others say.

Last edited by RHP_Parent

IMO, I think outside of the specifics of the program which is subjective, anything you mentioned above about your kid is is potentially valid depending on circumstances. That said my oldest is entering his grad year, youngest is going into his junior year. The only time I've ever contacted my sons' coaches was when my youngest had an oddball injury his freshman year during the Omaha challenge.

I have spoken to both their athletic departments when it came to injury and $$$, and who's paying.

Once a kid turns eighteen they are considered an adult. This limits the power parents have.

My daughter received additional scholarship money after her freshman year started. I had paid the bill. But they would not mail the refund check to me. The check was mailed to my daughter and issued to my daughter.

IMO, physical or emotional abuse, illegal activities or danger to any person are all reasons to immediately contact the coaching staff or the school. Aside from that, I believe you should work your concerns through your son.

As for the weight of your concerns with your son and whether he’s willing to express them, that’s a wholly a different topic.

College baseball is their job, and as a parent I think we sometimes lose focus on that. IMO there’s very little that could happen at your kid’s work where it would be appropriate to call their employer, or ask to speak to their boss…

@JucoDad posted:

IMO, physical or emotional abuse, illegal activities or danger to any person are all reasons to immediately contact the coaching staff or the school. Aside from that, I believe you should work your concerns through your son.



100% @JucoDad. I'd add two things to the list:

1) significant medical issues

2) significant $$$$ donation/endowment to the baseball program

Yes, it is a very small list for a parent.

Thank you for the responses. OK, here goes...

My D3 Soph RHP did not make the V team this year for the 2nd year now. This after 3 one inning scrimages, which all pitchers received. (His line was 3ip, 3 hits, 1 run, 2k, 0bb - reached a full count once). So I pressed Son to ask the PC why he was placed on reserve team and was told it was his "stuff". When he asked what "stuff" meant, he was told, "it's just your stuff". Son was told he'd get hit around vs V batters. Interesting he didn't really in the scrimmages.

Although PC tells players he's "Driveline Certified", there has been little use of the Raspodo they have, last year all players get same prescribed drills (nothing individualized) and it seems he prefers to use the Proplayai App to breakdown mechanics for players.

This year team started with 69 players (30 PO's), cutting down V roster to 34 for Spring.

Note: Last season team was 3rd place in a 10 team mediocre Conference (ironically, team's pitchers had highest walks (213). Last season they had a 14 game JV team. Son was the top starter and did very well. This year no JV team, just a non-uniform "reserve team". HC last year didn't put too much effort or interest in JV it seemed.

(Last year pitching staff stats: 5.40 era, 349 ip, 295 runs, 274 so, 213 bb, .289 ba)

This year Coach "mainly" recruited PO's (9), 6 Freshman, 3 transfers.

Son loves the school, the Major he's taking and has many friends there. Son is an introvert of sorts with a 3.8gpa who attended all lifts and practices, so there's not a academic or attitude issue. Part of the his issue is he's not the type to question the coach as he feels he'd create an issue. I had to push him to ask for the "your stuff" meeting.

The reserve team will not get much training to speak of other then some student manager get togethers, no uniform, no scrimmages.

Would I be out of line reaching out to Head Coach to ask where he see's his roll in program? If he improves "stuff" is there a possibility of making team in Spring? Next Year? Does he ever see him making the team? If not, can he remove himself from team completely and do a non-medical redshirt? etc

What else should I ask?

Sorry sooooo long winded...


Would I be out of line reaching out to Head Coach to ask where he see's his roll in program? If he improves "stuff" is there a possibility of making team in Spring? Next Year? Does he ever see him making the team? If not, can he remove himself from team completely and do a non-medical redshirt? etc

Just my opinion, but yes, you'd be out of line.  It's your son's career, not yours and he should be having those conversations.  Would you go with him to a job interview or call his boss if he's ever demoted?



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Would I be out of line reaching out to Head Coach to ask where he see's his roll in program? If he improves "stuff" is there a possibility of making team in Spring? Next Year? Does he ever see him making the team? If not, can he remove himself from team completely and do a non-medical redshirt? etc



Yes, you'd be out of line.  Sorry for being so direct, but that is the reality.  These are questions (roster, playing time, etc...) your young adult son should be asking the college coach (in a private setting), not you asking the college coach.   This is not high school or travel baseball where many parents have access to the coaches.   Roster decisions and playing time are at the top of the list of topics you (parent) don't want to be discussing with a college coach under any circumstances.  This is their domain, their job, their livelyhood.

If your son is an introvert, and wants your help then help him prepare & rehearse for a one on one meeting with the coach.  The questions you listed above would be a good start.   If you reach out to the college coach that has the potential to reflect very poorly on your son.  I don't think your son  needs that at this point based on what you've shared.  Once your son has his meeting with the college coach he can share the discussion highlights and discuss next steps with you.

JMO

Last edited by fenwaysouth

I am a mom who (still) doesn't know much about pitching or baseball.  But I have learned a lot on this site.

Three 1-inning scrimmage outings, even if successful, don't tell the whole pitching story.  Maybe he pitched against less-good hitters.  Some pitchers are successful for one inning, then the hitters can easily figure them out for the next.  With that number of players they have a ton of options for pitchers, so presumably your son doesn't figure in the mix for how they want to build their pitching roster, especially for one-inning relievers (a bullpen needs lefties, sidearmers, flame-throwers, etc.).  If he asks questions about what he needs to work on to make the team (does he need another pitch?  can he improve an existing pitch?), that would show that he has awareness of the things that make up a pitcher, and the desire to learn and improve.  But with so many players, they might choose to focus on the ones they like.

It's great that he loves the school and has friends; focus on that.

Absolutely DO NOT contact the coach regarding your son’s role on the team. This stuff should stop with the end of preteen ball. Your son is a college age adult. It’s his job to talk to the coach about his role.

To be honest, if he hasn’t made the varsity roster for two years unless there’s drastic significant change between now and next year he’s unlikely to ever make it. Every year new competition comes in.

He should go to the coach and ask what are the parameters needed to be considered a varsity pitcher. Then he should ask the coach what work he should do to get there. The rest is up to him.

In addition to the feedback he receives he should watch for the enthusiasm, or lack of in which it is given. It could tip off if the coach believes in him.

@RJM posted:

To be honest, if he hasn’t made the varsity roster for two years unless there’s drastic significant change between now and next year he’s unlikely to ever make it. Every year new competition comes in.



I agree with you RJM on this....

So, follow up question: Can my Son Redshirt even though there is no injury?

I read fan article from Rick at The Informed Athlete that:

To redshirt at the NCAA Division III level, "the athlete must completely remove themselves from the team before the first game or contest of the season".

Is this true or am I misunderstanding the rules?

One more thing: Not that this makes a difference, but my son is not the HC recruit. HC took over program last year just prior to start of school year.

Thank you!

Last edited by LateBloomerMom

I know this thread is about pitching, but for anyone else reading this far, it also goes for position player parents that want to ask "why is my short stop player playing 2B?"  "Why does my child only get one AB?"  "Why is my player in the outfield?  He has never played OF." 

Just don't.  The coach is their boss.  If your son is on the field, he needs to make the best of it to stay on the field.

If so, which subjects are acceptable for Parent to discuss with Coach and which are a No-No?

(ie Redshirting, Leaving Program, Getting Cut, Financial Situation, Scholarship, Entry into Portal, Tuition, Role of kid in Program, Transferring, Direction of Program, Dissatisfaction of Program,  etc?)

Thank You!

The better version is probably to have a talk with your kid and then send himself to the coach talking about the stuff you have talked about with him.

If you don't trust your kid to handle stuff you can just give him your words.

I think there are certain extreme situations (like physical violence  by a coach or teammate for example) where it would be OK for parents to talk but then again you likely would talk to a higher ranked person than the headcoach about stuff like that.

You certainly don't talk about stuff like playing time, positions and so on with the coach.

If you want to play more the best thing the kid can ask the coach is basically asking what improvements he can make to contribute more to the team success next year (a good coach should be able to answer that) and then work on that and try to demonstrate it in scrimmages and game chances.

Last edited by Dominik85

Your getting great advice. A couple of questions you and your son should answer:

1. Why would he want to redshirt in a DIII school? He is not going to play professional, and one year is not likely going to change his trajectory at this school.

2. College is also expensive and unless your independently wealthy then why would you want to pay for another year of college expenses? I certainly would not want to see my son incur additional loans for playing DIII baseball.

Finally over 50% or college players drop out of playing baseball, that is a reality. They quit for all types of reasons, including lack of playing time. I know on my son's DIII team there were a number of athletes who stayed with the program for 4 years in spite of not playing. His program was highly regarded competitively as well as had some of the best coaching in the country so there were reasons for players wanting to stay.

Best of luck to you and your son.

Last edited by BOF

@LateBloomerMom, you have gotten very solid advice in the posts above. I would only add one thing - but it’s a big thing. The HC, with his actions, has already told your son (and you) where your son stands in his eyes. He doesn’t like his stuff. Which can mean any number of things such as; he doesn’t throw hard enough, his pitches don’t have enough movement, his secondary pitches are not good enough, etc. But what it boils down to is that the HC is saying that he doesn’t trust your son to get hitters out in a game situation. As your son is a sophomore (and the GC has already seen him for a year) his stance is not likely to change. Unless something about your son changes. If I were your son I would be trying to develop another pitch - assuming he wants to stay at that school and stay in that program.

Son loves the school, the Major he's taking and has many friends there. Son is an introvert of sorts with a 3.8gpa who attended all lifts and practices, so there's not a academic or attitude issue. Part of the his issue is he's not the type to question the coach as he feels he'd create an issue. I had to push him to ask for the "your stuff" meeting.

@LateBloomerMom please don't take this question the wrong way but are you sure you are not wanting this more than your son?  As BOF said above, the vast majority of baseball players' journey ends before or during college.  Is it possible your son has accepted that his journey is close to the end, and he's alright with enjoying college with his friends, and doesn't want this enough to push the coaches?

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