Unrealistic Parents

First welcome to the site - you are going to find a great amount of info and hopefully we can help you out here.

As for the question "how much is being the head worth it?" - well only you can answer that honestly but it's a tough decision. You are torn between coaching the game you love and wondering why these parents don't get it. Let me say that it will get easier as long as you stick to your guns.

You are the new guy and I'm willing to bet based on your revolving door comment that these parents have seen many head coaches over the years. If that is the case that is what feeds them. They are the only constant the kids see and hear. More times than not the parents are telling their kids they are the greatest but the coaches message never gets through because that guy is going to be gone. These kids know what's going on even if they are in middle school. If you can stick it out and stay on for probably another two or three years this group will phase out and be replaced by a group who has seen you in action and know you got a plan, the plan works and where everyone stands coming in. It won't solve the parent problem but does stop most of them.

These parents are probably the reason why there have been many head coaches in such a short period of time. They have had "success" in such a small fishbowl that they can't see past their own ego.

Never talk about playing time because once you open that door with a bunch like this then they will use what you say about another kid to build support against you. They have to learn to cut the umbilical cord and turn their kids loose. Also, don't criticize the parents - even backhanded - to the players. Because if a kid has to choose between you and the parents the coach is going to lose everytime. Best thing to do is go the ballpark everyday and teach the game and ignore the loudmouths.

What you are going through sounds like the same thing I went through when I first became head coach at my last school. They didn't have any consistancy at the head coaching position - in fact the principal did it one year just so they could have a team. I took the job and put in my program and my expectations with a young group. It was ugly until they phased out but after that it got better. There were still some problems but you never get rid of them. It was tough but you will last longer than they will if you can hold out.

Just a bit of advice - if you got a kid hitting .344 and fielding .981 then put him in there full time.

Best of luck, stick with it and hopefully it will get better.

You want to talk unrealistic, and this is travel/showcase team, I had two parents complaining about where their kid hit in the lineup and both were starters---The underclassmen has not been invited back--great kid and nice talent but I don't need that grief---we can find another player to fill his slot--- every kid on the team is a #3/#4 hitter on their HS team---but we only have 10 slots if we use a EH---what the heck---the kid is starting==what the heck do you want as a parent but to see you kid in the starting lineup--and then ***** about the slot he hits in ---see you later Leroy !!!!


Some people just do not get it

BVers,
Maybe the negative attitude from your post is coming through to the players and the parents? Coaching isn't about having the most talented players or the players who match the style of play you prefer. Coaching is about doing your best with what you have.

There will always be some complaints. Parents are parents and that's the nature of the beast. However, when the best players are on the field and players are rewarded for hard work in non-league games complaints become very rare. If you get a complaint here and there then it is probably just parents being parents. If you get constant complaints then you are probably doing something to instigate them and you need to look at yourself instead of finding a specific case where the parent was in the wrong.

Well sounds like there are parents who care. But what I would like to ask is? Who is the primary coach for the players on a high school varsity? the dad who has been coaching his son for about six or seven years or the varsity coach? I have a philophy on hitting that I have use for my son and I have researched this topic alot and the coach just tells me it is his team and he owns my son. this really got me P.Oed. Isthis how a coach should talk to a parent/coach?

bigben

You question typifies the parental thinking today

The HS Coach is the PRIMARY COACH without a doubt !!!!

quote:

Originally posted by big ben:
Well sounds like there are parents who care. But what I would like to ask is? Who is the primary coach for the players on a high school varsity? the dad who has been coaching his son for about six or seven years or the varsity coach? I have a philophy on hitting that I have use for my son and I have researched this topic alot and the coach just tells me it is his team and he owns my son. this really got me P.Oed. Isthis how a coach should talk to a parent/coach?

When your son plays for the high school team the head coach is in charge. You are relegated to fan and nothing more. I don't agree with everything my son's high school coach does. I played at a higher level. I may know more about many of his players than he does. But it's his team. He's the boss. I'm a fan.

I'm going to guess if the conversation got to "I own your son" you must have overstepped your role as fan of the team.

Ohhhhh, a nasty topic.

We're fans now, as much as alot of us may hate it. While I am still amazed at times just how unsound some HS coaches are, for the most part they are pretty decent in teaching how the game is played and dealing with game situations. I constantly see alot of bad fundamental mechanics that get ignored or taught very poorly but for the most part, HS coaches do a fairly good job.

The real good ones I see talk about "why" to do something a certain way so the kids understand the coach's gameplan; too often "its my way or the highway" approach which is fine but rarely do I see those teams come out on top come playoff time. The real good ones are teachers of the game not simply managers of the game; there is a heckuva difference between the two. The real good ones actually do care alot about our sons' development, on and off the field, and are reasonably open to parental concerns (sorry, never playing time); open but not stupid either.

I will say watching some HS coaches teaching infielders, catchers and hitting mechanics absolutely drives me crazy at times. That, or the not recognizing bad mechanics...I don't know which bothers me the most AS I BITE DOWN VERY HARD ON MY TONGUE.

The stitches come out next week.LOL.

I am one of those Dads that use to coach his son in travel ball while he was growing up.

Once he got to High School I became just another fan and his High School Coach BECAME THE MAIN MAN. I told my son that he has to earn a spot and keep practicing to keep it from now on. That is why I love this game soo much, it emulates life's situations. Are parents going to go to their son's bosses and complain that there son should get the job or raise over someone else?

Yes, you will run across some coaches that you may feel don't know how to coach a team properly, but put yourself in their shoes and see how you would like it if parents came to you complaining. There are some coaches that were great players, but do not know how to teach the game just like there are some people that are
great parents but are too over protective when their kids have to start facing and learning life's skills leasons.

Travel Ball has made this situation alot harder on High School coaches and I feel for them. In College, you do as they say or hit the road.

Coach, stick to your guns, be fair across the board and teach the game. Don't let what the parents think drive you off your path.

Coach, I think one of the most overlooked concepts in coaching is the need for people skills. By that, I mean you have to not only be a teacher of the game and motivator of young men, you also have to be a successful manager and public relations man of the parents/fans. Too many coaches, especially at the high school level, feel they are under siege at the start of the season and lay down their rules that include what they won't discuss. I would not discuss playing time with a parent, though I will always discuss it with the player. I lay out my vision for our program each summer, and tell everyone how I intend to run the program. Now, I'll admit that I'm fortunate in that I only coach summer travel ball, but I still lay out a vision for what we're going to do and what our goals are for the coming summer. Then, I take questions at the beginning of the season before we ever start playing. That eliminates most of the doubt or uncertainty that any parent has right off the bat. Once we take the field, the parents know that their place is behind the screen, but not "behind our backs."
We have the luxury of not having to deal with these kind of parents, I'll admit, but you can still do a lot to mitigate these issues by being proactive in your approach to your people management skills.

I'd also be sure to understand the political side of coaching HS baseball. Be sure that the AD, and preferably the principal also, know what your goals and vision for the program are, and then keep them informed about the teams progress. Trust me, if they realize you're a valuable member of their school's staff, a few disgrunteled parents won't cause you to lose their support.

We have found the best way in dealing with parents is to get it out up front at the start of the season. Have an all parent meeting at the start of the season and lay out your objectives for the program including team rules etc, etc. Stress that playing time is based on performance and putting the best 9 on the field that YOU and YOUR COACHES feel will give you the best chance of winning. Remind them that this is not LL anymore. Have a rule that you will not talk to parents about playing time and only the players. Make the players take responsability. Kids get it, some parents don't, just the way it is.

quote:

Originally posted by TRhit:
You want to talk unrealistic, and this is travel/showcase team, I had two parents complaining about where their kid hit in the lineup and both were starters---The underclassmen has not been invited back--great kid and nice talent but I don't need that grief---we can find another player to fill his slot--- every kid on the team is a #3/#4 hitter on their HS team---but we only have 10 slots if we use a EH---what the heck---the kid is starting==what the heck do you want as a parent but to see you kid in the starting lineup--and then ***** about the slot he hits in ---see you later Leroy !!!!


Some people just do not get it

I have never understood this,why would it matter where the kid bats if he is helping the TEAM win.I could understand it if the team is losing and the parent THINKS their son would help the team win if they were batting 3rd or 4rth but that shouldn't be something they discuss with the coach,unless they are asked.



My son was batting lead off(10u)for the first couple tournament last year.He was doing great but the team was struggling winning.There was no production from the middle and bottom(batting 11)My son missed(ignored) a couple signs from the first base coach and was moved to 7th(he was safe in both cases but that will NEVER be tolerated from a good coach)(he actually had to sit half the next game and when he came in,it was in the middle of the order) and the TEAM instantly saw better scoring and was winning more games.He brought production to the middle and they started winning. He was never moved back to the lead off role.Made sense to me,they were winning.

I feel for you coach. I have been there and done that. One way I found to combat this situation and its a little off the wall but effective.

Send out a weekly newsletter to all the parents. Talk about the positives and negatives during that weeks play. Now here is the kicker, include up to date stats for the whole team and depth chart.

This way Billy Bobs dad can now see where his son compares to the rest of the team. Include Batting Avg, Fielding percentage, OBP, Slugging and so on.

Then next time dad or mom comes up and says why isnt Billy starting over ***, you can then say did you not get the newsletter and that will usually shut them up.

Hope it helps.

quote:

Well sounds like there are parents who care. But what I would like to ask is? Who is the primary coach for the players on a high school varsity? the dad who has been coaching his son for about six or seven years or the varsity coach? I have a philophy on hitting that I have use for my son and I have researched this topic alot and the coach just tells me it is his team and he owns my son. this really got me P.Oed. Isthis how a coach should talk to a parent/coach?

If that's the only way the coach gets his message across, it is. Maybe telling a parent he "owns your kid" isn't the best way to put it without coming across confrontational, but The parents should already know that HS baseball is the kid's experience, not theirs and the HC runs the show. Time to cut the cord in HS. Some parents haven't learned that yet.

Now a smart HC will head coach will head all this stuff off in the preseason once the teams are picked and has a parents only meeting, which can be arranged during a booster club meeting or some other time when the HC can have a Q&A with the parents so they know how things are done and what's expected out of them.

quote:

We have found the best way in dealing with parents is to get it out up front at the start of the season. Have an all parent meeting at the start of the season and lay out your objectives for the program including team rules etc, etc. Stress that playing time is based on performance and putting the best 9 on the field that YOU and YOUR COACHES feel will give you the best chance of winning. Remind them that this is not LL anymore. Have a rule that you will not talk to parents about playing time and only the players. Make the players take responsability. Kids get it, some parents don't, just the way it is.

I am a parent - and a mom no less - of a player who has been through high school and is in his first year of JC. I would agree with the quote above, our hs coach did this and we would never dare ask about playing time! Everything worked out for the best and we all learned along the way. I would, in that parent meeting, say that if someone is not getting playing time, the PLAYER should be encouraged to talk to the coach about what he can do to get better, what can he do to earn more time. THe coach needs to emphasize that to his players, and much more than once. Often the players - especially the young ones - are afraid of the coach, afraid of looking like they are wimps, afraid they are looking like complainers. Emphasize your open door policy.
If that conversation doesn't satisfy, then agree to meet with the parent(s) of the player and the player, and take somebody (an assistant, the Ad, whoever) with you to the appointment. Refuse to compare individuals, if you need to compare the player to the team. As a mom, I would suggest that coaches never forget that the reason they are coaching is to teach the love of the game and the skills needed to play it. When you do this, and you have hard working guys, you win.
Growling at parents and players does not work.
I agree that once parents figure out the system, they will abide, with of course a few that think their player is the best in the universe.
(Which, secretly, all moms think that, but we learn to keep our mouths shut!)

now I have read some nice stuff here this is what I was looking for. Now I have another question, it sort of answered earlier but I would like clarification. If the HC is teaching fundamentals that are not corect or inferior mechanics should we let our sons learn this or teach them better way to do it, so THEY can succeed, not the parents I'm trying to look out for my son not me. As for telling your son to talk to the coach I don't think he will listen to him becuase it's my way or highway statement, these are kids trying to negotiate out adult type problems. Does anybody coach at HS have any moments where one of the players came and talk to them and listened and said you know what johnny your right the stuff I'm teaching you is inferior and we'll do it your way now? if so, I aplogize right now becuase he would be able to admit that sometimes we all don't know enough and there are some new ways to get things done Thanks to everybody who replied to this, It has helped alot. Oh, one last thing if you see your boss doing something that is losing the company money, do you just sit back and let it happen? Becuase after all he is the boss and it is his team or do say somthing to him? And now I don't think my son is the greatest he is good but we have room for improvement thats why I to see very good instruction and coaching thanks agian

Well one response I can make to your last post. Lets take hitting mechanics. We as coaches are more at ease teaching the style mechanics we know, its human nature.

There are two types of hitting mechanics, Rotational and Linear. If you happen to be a coach that understands linear but you have a kid that uses rotational, you might want to try and change those mechanics because its not something you might believe in but yet mom and dad has spent 10k having little Johnny learn that hitting style and its been productive for little Johnny and your team.

So there are certain situations where it cant just be what the coach wants a player on his team to learn when it contradicts another proper way of doing things. This is just one example of the coaches way isnt always the right way.

I would even bet on this forum that there are varying opinions on which style hitting is best
Rotational or Linear...LOL but thats another thread to start

quote:

include up to date stats for the whole team and depth chart.

Ouch! Why not just include darts for the parents to throw at the coach. Stats can be very misleading. Especially when they're in small numbers like school ball. All a coach needs to do is have one meeting at the beginning of the year explaining how things will be. I believe the two things universal on coach's lists of "parents stay away" is playing time and position.

quote:

If the HC is teaching fundamentals that are not corect or inferior mechanics should we let our sons learn this or teach them better way to do it

Last week I asked my son why he did something in a game. He explained the coach told him to do it. I asked how he felt about his result (it was negative). I told him I disagreed with the coach and told him what could go wrong and how he should handle the situation. Then I told my son to do what he feels will keep him from getting removed from the lineup.

quote:

I would even bet on this forum that there are varying opinions on which style hitting is best
Rotational or Linear...

What you will find is a backing for the ML swing. Rotational is a marketing term created by Epstein to differentiate his teaching style from others. If you look at what Charlie Lau Jr teaches, which is considered to be linear, it's very much like (but not the same) what Epstein is teaching. The reality is an ideal MLB swing falls is what most people who use the term rotational are looking for. However, good hitters do anything to fight off good pitching. You will see them go "linear" to foul off pitches to avoid striking out or hit behind runners.

That's as far as I go with the rotational/linear discussion. After several years of chat boards I'm sick of it.

Back to the original question:

Coach; just try to stay positive. Before e-mail I went years without parents questioning my lienups; now I get several of these e-mails per year. My standard answer is that I enjoy having their son on the team. He does/does not give his best effort every day at practice. You are welcome to come and watch practice (I then insert tomorrow's practice schedule). Then I will say something like; just like at your job I make decisions every day based on all the information that I have before me. I then close with a statement that reflects my interest in 'all' the kids in our program.

I try not to get inflamed about it... I look at a parent that will come to the coach about the lineup as someone who is just looking for some info...

Think of yourself as the mayor of a town... let's face it; some folks are going to complain or question. But as long as you are the mayor you just keep making mayor decisions... after they gripe a little they go back to their lives; don't let it get you down.

OK we have charlie lau jr put in here what was his dads batting ave when mr lau sr was in the bigs? look it up it was nothing stellar! but like mike epstien he found a place to make money! so put money aside and look at the physics in hitting there is plenty of material to look at and clearly shows that rotational is superior in power and batspeed. but i will say that if all you want is contact linear will work at the lower levels of baseball, like i asked earlier do we stop at what will work for now or shoot just bit higher?

big ben


What is your background concerning hitting other than your "research"?

Thanks everyone. I probably should clarify myself on some issues. I did have a parent meeting at the beginning of the year and went through the whole process of this is VARSITY baseball, playing time is earned and not given to everyone. I have a terrific staff with me, 3 assistant coaches with me at the varsity level. Each has a wide array of age and experience. One is a former head coach of 12 years, who lead his teams into postseason 10 of those 12 years, one is a player from a state championship team in another state with 5 years of coaching experience, and the other has been an assistant coach for 6 years in a successful program. Each is an educator as well in the same school system.
Everyone of them including myself, have never seen anything like this before with a group of parents. These coaches have coached other sports at this school and in other schools in other states as well.
We have very new facilities as well. Last season we overachieved in the win/loss column but made huge strides in the right direction coming into this year. We had a very good summer program, kids played in a fall league. We took 4 weeks off to recoop, and then we started our off season training leading into the year. I think the bottom line is some parents have unrealistic expectations for their child and when they arent given the opportunity to show that talent in games, they struggle mightily.
I told a parent last week, remember you watch 100% of what your child does in a game, but you only watch 20% of what another child does in the game. Meaning if your son is not hitting this inning, you probably go to the concession stand or go talk to someone. You miss the good things others do and only focus on something that is negative to a player who is on the field at that time, such as an error. Maybe he had a great at bat that you missed because you were running to the concession stand. Our practices are open to anyone, NO parents have attended to watch. I told them that games make up about 30% of our season and practice makes up 70% of what we as coaches evaluate. If you would like to watch us coaches in action with your child, or watch your child in any drills with the ones they are competing with for that position, please make the effort to come to practice. Like I mentioned earlier none have. It is not like our practices are when they are working. We practice most nights from 5 pm until 7 pm.
No one can be objective when evaluating your own childs talents, and that is what makes it tough.
I have used this comment or saying a lot it comes to people who dont to help and just complain. "You're either part of the solution or part of the problem."
If you arent creating a positive experience for your son, then it is probably negative. That also goes for the program, help with what you can within the boundaries set by the coaching staff instead of just running your mouth downgrading other players and coaches. Trust me, it will make a better experience your child and for yourself. Thanks for listening. Here's to baseball!!!

BVers,
Good post. I have to agree with what you've said. As a parent if you feel that your child isn't getting the opportunities they deserve you can't base it on your own feelings. You have to find a way to get an unbiased evaluation of their ability. You also have to look at how the other players on the team are treated. If all the kids on the field are the right players other than the one in your son's position then most likely all the kids on the field are in the right position.

quote:

Originally posted by big ben:
OK we have charlie lau jr put in here what was his dads batting ave when mr lau sr was in the bigs? look it up it was nothing stellar! but like mike epstien he found a place to make money! so put money aside and look at the physics in hitting there is plenty of material to look at and clearly shows that rotational is superior in power and batspeed. but i will say that if all you want is contact linear will work at the lower levels of baseball, like i asked earlier do we stop at what will work for now or shoot just bit higher?

You've dissed Epstein and Lau. Which hitting guru ** was a big time MLB hitter? Nym@n, Englishby, Mankin, Jamarillo, Emanski? Maybe these guys just understand how to break down hitting, define it and teach it.

** this isn't about starting a debate on teaching styles, just some of the names

RJM Ditto on the post about bringing up STATS, a sub who comes in during mop up time and gets a couple of hits, but couldn't touch a starters fastball look OK in the stats.

I'm a parent and a coach on our high school varsity team. so I know how both of them feel. The bottom line is someone has to be in charge, someone has to make decissions. the head coach gets the credit if the team does well and all the blame when they fail. Because of this he has the right to make all the calls. Playing time, bunt coverage, hitting and pitching mechanics, etc. I don't always agree with him, but I teach it his way. We have a team motto for this year it's "ALL IN" just like poker we are risking it all, and we are doing everything 100% they way the coaching staff teaches it. Total commitment to the team, we don't miss practices, fundraisers for any reason.
As for parents talking to coachs, our staff will not talk to a parent unless the child has talked to us first. Junior will have a job and not get the promotion, or not like his job assignments he needs to talk to his boss, this is great practice for them to communicate with adults. It also produces an honest conversation because he know what he is really doing in practice when he is supposed to be earning his playing time, his parents don't.
We also have a 24 hour rule, we will not talk to a parent 24 hours before or after a game. this allows a cooling down period and for less heated conversations. This suold be strictly inforced.

Last year my daughter was learning a completely new style of hitting.The coaches were trying to convert her into a full time slapper which I knew NOTHING about.I had my daughter ask the coaches for some one on one after practice to learn some more about it and if possible,let me sit in and even participate in this session.Only so that I could carry the practice over to our hitting sessions at home.The coach had no problems with it and even welomed my participation.My daughter was on the freshman team and was in the 8th grade and to be quite honest,it was her bat that got her on the team as well as her extreme speed.

Coaches and parents can work together.BUT,the coach in these situations is the boss.

quote:

but any helpful hints on dealing with totally unrealistic parents.
They want to run me out of town (2nd year at this school, 10th overall as a head coach), that was the dads comment before he stormed out of the ball park.

Let me tell you this **** did not happen years ago. The problem is that for some reason years ago the Little league mentality that parents have to be involved with the high school program(boosters varsity club etc etc or whatever you want to call it)crept in. I will be honest I did not want anything resembling that as part of the schools program. Now I gather because of financial reasons it is part of the landscape. But to address the above comment if parents run coaches out of towm it is because people higher up let it happen. And further what you describe is why coaches want no parts of that situation.

quote:

Originally posted by big ben:
now I have read some nice stuff here this is what I was looking for. Now I have another question, it sort of answered earlier but I would like clarification. If the HC is teaching fundamentals that are not corect or inferior mechanics should we let our sons learn this or teach them better way to do it, so THEY can succeed, not the parents I'm trying to look out for my son not me. As for telling your son to talk to the coach I don't think he will listen to him becuase it's my way or highway statement, these are kids trying to negotiate out adult type problems. Does anybody coach at HS have any moments where one of the players came and talk to them and listened and said you know what johnny your right the stuff I'm teaching you is inferior and we'll do it your way now? if so, I aplogize right now becuase he would be able to admit that sometimes we all don't know enough and there are some new ways to get things done Thanks to everybody who replied to this, It has helped alot. Oh, one last thing if you see your boss doing something that is losing the company money, do you just sit back and let it happen? Becuase after all he is the boss and it is his team or do say somthing to him? And now I don't think my son is the greatest he is good but we have room for improvement thats why I to see very good instruction and coaching thanks agian

Let me tell you what I've been telling my 12 year old since he was 9...

You might relay it to your son.

A coach might try to change your hitting in practice. Tell your son to say YES SIR and do what he says. Come game time, tell him to swing how he is comfortable.

If he DOES WELL, the Coach will not care how he is doing it....if he's NOT doing well, and he's NOT doing what the coach instructed, be prepared for the consequences.

I worked with a now 17 year old off and on for several years on his hitting.

His first year on Varsity, the new HC insisted his "upper cut" swing would not be successfull against "Good pitching" (Coach didn't realize the kid was 15u playing on 17-18U travel teams, facing better pitching).

The kid said YES SIR....and did what the coach told him to in pratice. He asked me about it before the first game. I asked him "Are YOU Confident in the way you hit?" and "Which way of hitting do you think would help the TEAM win........."

I told him to be prepared for the consequences if he didn't do well, and was OBVIOUSLY not doing it like the Coach wanted.

That was 2 years ago. The kid still has an "uppercut" swing...that resulted in him batting 3rd in the V lineup as a FR.

Results........Results.


And if you OR your son come off to the Coach like you do here....I'm surprised he'd let your son even be the equipment manager.

Dude, what the heck was that post you just made here? It was simply GOLD!!!

If it works and is working the coach will move on to someone else or something else. If it doesnt work or isnt working you can bet your going to be Hawked until you make some changes.

And your wrong , he would be the equipment manager and dad would be the assistant equipment manager.

Just a great post. Awesome.

I agree with ctandc also. If you are producing I don't think any coach will change your way of hitting.

Also, I don't think HS coaches have the time, regardless if they have the knowledge or not, to teach/instruct every kid about hitting. With 2-4 games per week that leaves 2 -3 days of practice for 15-20 players. A coach cannot spend the amount of time needed with each kid to change or alter his swing. Also, and more important, it is too late to change or alter a swing once the season starts.

Once again I bring up winter workouts. Swing adjustments should be made over the winter with a knowledgable instructor. The proper swing has to be taught and then ingrained in the players muscle memory with thousands of swings between November and February.

If you wait until March for the HS coach it ain't gonna happen.

This not a judgement of HS coaches. They have way too many kids and other things to do once the season starts.

If the kid is doing that well I would keep him in, but that is ridiculous that his father questioned about not playing one outing. That can be a tough one. However, when the parents are coaching the team then they can make the decisions on who plays or who doesn't. As for now, you make the calls and when you are winning games it shouldn't matter.

BVers21-
Always tough to be the head guy, no doubt about it...and usually the parents are what drive people out of the profession more than the players.
I wish I had a perfect system for dealing with parents, but I'm not sure it exists (probably could become quite wealthy if I could develop one!).
I think the key for me over the years has been to be fair to every kid (which DOESN'T mean equal playing time), be upfront & honest with the parents before the season even starts, be friendly with the parents but not their friends and to simply do everything you can to make the program better than they could have expected.
Parents will NEVER be totally satisfied with a coach....but the more work you put into it, the more you do for their kids that other programs DON'T do and the more you make them feel like they are a part of the program and not "paying customers", the better you'll have it. Good luck...

Will-
Could not agree with you more. This started at Little League - when the Dads were coaches and running the organization. Then they became HS booster members or supporters. They donate money, time and now they want to donate their opinion on what position their son can play and bat. If they don't like it, they can cut the purse strings. IMHO, Coaches that get involved with this crowd are foolish. Best solution is to cut all ties with the parents, let them know if it involves their son's well-being you are all ears - injury, academics. Otherwise, leave the coaching to the coach and have the players come and discuss how to get better or more playing time with the Coach.

Meet with the players and discuss their progress at the end of the year. What you would like for them to work on, etc. Leave the parents out of it.

Everyone's talking about HS programs here. I'm a assistant HS coach and, since there's something of a monopoly in HS I believe it is correct for both player and parent (of the younger classmen) to talk with the coach if they feel a need. I'm always honest in what I believe but make it plain that it is the Head Coach's decision whom to play where and when.

Summer ball, where the young player has more opportunity to select a team is a different story. Select (try out) for a team that has good coaching and the player is competitive.....will see playing time. Do your homework before jumping on a team.

I have mixed feelings about HS coaches running AL summer program (where the monoply continues) unless there are more than one team at various levels but again.....there are options in summer ball depending ow hard the player is willing to work at it.

Baseball is about competition for both playing time and position. At some point all players fail to make the current cut. Its what keeps them pushing hard in practice and working on their own on individual skills.

I dealt with many of these issues this year as well. First year as head coach, 13th year coaching at the school. Most successful season in the school's history, but not everyone is happy still. That is the nature of the beast. Some things that seamed to help that I started doing throughout the season that I will make clear at the parent meeting in the fall: any email or phone call that I receive WILL be shared with the player. I am there to coach the players and help them become men, they need to know when others are fighting battles for them. I will be honest and fair to all the kids and coach EACH ONE. They will all get coaching, some will play more than others. One thing that I have noticed over the years is the danger with email. Many make statements behind emails that they would not make upfront. Also, it is impossible to get the tone of an email. I will let the parents know that I am always happy to talk to them after a practice or even a game but that any emails for things other than letting me know of an illness or such will not be read or responded to. Face to face conversation is how to handle things. Many parents are often just misinformed and some just curious about why we did something, I encourage them to talk to us. I would much rather have someone ask me after a game about something we did (because I usually have a reason - whether is works or not) rather than speculate with the other parents. The last thing to emphasize is trust, the kids need to trust the coaches and the parents can help give it. I also agree whole heartedly with the booster club statements. We make due with what we have. Realistically, I need very little to make baseball players. If I feel I need more, we will have our own little fundraiser. If you ask the parents to give a lot, then you had better expect them to feel like they have a right to voice more of their opinions, and why wouldn't they feel that way? The alarming trend today is that if you pay big bucks it must be better. Instructors that are so so are paid big money and therefor it must be the way to do things; summer teams cost a fortune some times and therefor that coach can do it exactly his way. Money doesn't get it done people, sweat, and more sweat, with a solid coach gets it done.

I've thought of this but never tried it. When a parent thinks their kid should be playing more, I've thought of calling a parent/player meeting and having the Complaining parent explain to all why their child should play over the others.

In my earlier coaching I had a mom complain that her son wasn't playing the whole game. Got to me , so I sat my son out of his half so her son could play. She came to me in tears because she didn't want anyone to sit out....

I have been part of this site for many years. I read the things such as this thread"unrealistic parents". there have been others dealing with similar things. In a way i am glad I coached back when you coached. Teach the kids to play the game . You know how to hit pitch field etc etc. Seems today more time is spent with all the off field stuff. I do not think they could pay me enough to deal with what I have read over the last several years. Seems like coaches spend more time dealing with the outside stuff rather than doing what coaches originally did and that is coach.