Updates and Reflections

Well said! 

Baseball is in the rear view mirror for us as well.  It was enjoyable for us - lots of memories (& DVD's).  Unfortunately, it came to end sooner than we thought it would, but our son did play 3 years of college ball (JuCo and D2).  He's finishing his studies (taking longer than we had hoped), but has a decent job and is moving on with his life.

Thank you!!!!

Thanks for that post!  I really enjoyed it, and it comes at a great time for me. As most know, my son is a pitcher for Purdue, and he has struggled in his transition from JC to D-1.  I do believe he has what it takes, but the struggles have been hard on him, and me.  I do worry, and it has taken the joy out of it for me.  I watch the game completely nervous, hoping for it to all come together for him.  He has lost control of his slider, and as a result, he is not having the season he/we hoped for.

Since he gets the start tonight, I will try to apply this advice, and enjoy the game!

Agree, great, great post, thank you TXMOM.  We need much more of this "after baseball" perspective here to help those who are currently knee deep in it.

And CONGRATULATIONS on the important stuff !!!

Congrats on your family's blessings and thanks for coming back and sharing. 

Ryno, good luck to your son tonight and going forward! It's so hard to watch a kid struggle when there's nothing you can do to help. Wishing the best for him!

Great post! Life goes on. The odds in baseball are staggering. Don’t take success for granted. How many people even consider if your kid is still playing at thirteen he’s left 70% of kids who play baseball in his rear view mirror. 

Thank you TXMOM! Great post with heartfelt insight. Congrats on the great parenting. Enjoy the new journey. 

Good to hear, TXMOM.  Enjoy those daughers-in-law and grandkids.  Maybe not to long until another round of LL!  LL2.0

Excellent post!

I also want to say a sincere thank you for this post.  Both of our sons are currently playing college ball and  for some reason (maybe because we are experiencing the ups and downs times two), this season has felt more stressful.  Always great to hear from someone further down the road.  Thanks for the needed perspective!

Thanks TX Mom!   I definitely need to read this post on a weekly basis!  

+ 1

Thanks, TX Mom.

Thank you.  I have been trying to have that pep talk with myself lately.  It is what it is.  He will make it or he won't.  I don't like feeling more worried than excited and in the end, it really is a game.  A game that can break your heart (watching it break your son's), but still a game.  They are all much more than their baseball abilities.  Going to keep working on this.  Appreciate you sharing your insight.

baseballhs posted:

Thank you.  I have been trying to have that pep talk with myself lately.  It is what it is.  He will make it or he won't.  I don't like feeling more worried than excited and in the end, it really is a game.  A game that can break your heart (watching it break your son's), but still a game.  They are all much more than their baseball abilities.  Going to keep working on this.  Appreciate you sharing your insight.

You touched on the part that is hardest for me. (Watching it break your son's heart.)  He wants to perform and be a positive contributor, but it hasn't happened yet.

Hey! So awesome to hear from YOU! Sounds like everyone in your family is just fine!

Thank you for the post. I hope some that take this all too seriously will stop and enjoy the moments, because baseball comes to an end at some point for everyone.  Players and parents!

Best of luck to Ryan today!

Oh, TxMom, what a treat to have you share you perspective. We corresponded eons ago. You are as insightful today as way back when...My hope is that some of these folks that "are sweating bullets" today will take a moment to see that it's a game! And Enjoy it while it lasts, but more importantly, enjoy their sons! Count their blessings!

Thanks for this great perspective! And celebrate those grand babies!!

TPM posted:

baseball comes to an end at some point for everyone.  Players and parents!

I think it's harder sometimes on parents than the players.

Good post TXMOM.  During the offseason one would think I would love every day there is no baseball activity for son.  It should give me a chance to relax and do the things I enjoy doing.  Well, contrary to logical thinking, I can't wait for baseball to start again. The nervousness, tension, joy, disappointment is what I love being a baseball parent.  Where else can you experience a wide range of emotions in a 3 hour time period?  I guess I miss the excitement during down time, and for me that is how I relax.  The day will come when the ride is over, but until that day comes I am in the front seat of the white knuckler ride. 

Oh, it's definitely harder for parents than kids. 

I tell myself not to take it too seriously, but I am a white knuckler too, especially if my kid is struggling, and he's done a fair bit of that this year in college.

Today I went to a game at 2017's HS and I admit it was very relaxing enjoying afternoon watching his former teammates play and not worrying about how he did or even too much about the team winning or losing.  (They won easily.)

Plus for more perspective on what's worth worrying about, I took the top photo today, and the one on the bottom in October during the Tubbs fire.

Oh my!  It's all coming back to me and I remember why I loved this site so much.  Group hug!  Seriously, your support and encouragement always made a huge difference for me.  

To all of you with sons taking the field this week, I want to wrap my arms around you and whisper, "Everthing's going to be fine."  I do remember how hard it can be. However, the challenges they face and overcome will make them better men.  I promise! 

Hang in there.  Enjoy the sun on your face, the smell of the grass, and the sight of your son in his uniform.  Take it all in.  See your blessings and choose joy.  

rynoattack posted:

Thanks for that post!  I really enjoyed it, and it comes at a great time for me. As most know, my son is a pitcher for Purdue, and he has struggled in his transition from JC to D-1.  I do believe he has what it takes, but the struggles have been hard on him, and me.  I do worry, and it has taken the joy out of it for me.  I watch the game completely nervous, hoping for it to all come together for him.  He has lost control of his slider, and as a result, he is not having the season he/we hoped for.

Since he gets the start tonight, I will try to apply this advice, and enjoy the game!

Congrats to your son Ryno.  Saw Purdue won and looks like he had an awesome outing!

Midwest Mom posted:

rynoattack posted:

Thanks for that post!  I really enjoyed it, and it comes at a great time for me. As most know, my son is a pitcher for Purdue, and he has struggled in his transition from JC to D-1.  I do believe he has what it takes, but the struggles have been hard on him, and me.  I do worry, and it has taken the joy out of it for me.  I watch the game completely nervous, hoping for it to all come together for him.  He has lost control of his slider, and as a result, he is not having the season he/we hoped for.

Since he gets the start tonight, I will try to apply this advice, and enjoy the game!

Congrats to your son Ryno.  Saw Purdue won and looks like he had an awesome outing!

I also took a peak. Great stuff. Now relax and enjoy the ride!!!

rynoattack posted:

baseballhs posted:

Thank you.  I have been trying to have that pep talk with myself lately.  It is what it is.  He will make it or he won't.  I don't like feeling more worried than excited and in the end, it really is a game.  A game that can break your heart (watching it break your son's), but still a game.  They are all much more than their baseball abilities.  Going to keep working on this.  Appreciate you sharing your insight.

You touched on the part that is hardest for me. (Watching it break your son's heart.)  He wants to perform and be a positive contributor, but it hasn't happened yet.

Congratulations! Watched his interview. Those are the times that make the heart breaks worth it.  

Way to go, Ryno!!

rynoattack posted:

Thanks for that post!  I really enjoyed it, and it comes at a great time for me. As most know, my son is a pitcher for Purdue, and he has struggled in his transition from JC to D-1.  I do believe he has what it takes, but the struggles have been hard on him, and me.  I do worry, and it has taken the joy out of it for me.  I watch the game completely nervous, hoping for it to all come together for him.  He has lost control of his slider, and as a result, he is not having the season he/we hoped for.

Since he gets the start tonight, I will try to apply this advice, and enjoy the game!

Not too shabby....congrats on the solid performance.

http://www.purduesports.com/sp...ecaps/032918aaa.html

Thanks everyone!  It was so nice to see him happy!  

rynoattack posted:

Thanks everyone!  It was so nice to see him happy!  

He does look happy.

https://twitter.com/purduebase...s/979171556197769216

TxMom posted:

I haven't checked HSBBWEB in a long time.  It used to be a BIG part of my life,  providing invaluable information, support, and friendship as we navigated the roller coaster of our sons' college and pro baseball experiences.  As is always the case, however, our sons eventually hung up their cleats and we all moved on.  

Life is very good, post baseball.  Our sons have added two amazing daughter-in-laws and four beautiful grandkids to our crew.  Our oldest attended UTA and played for the Giants and Rockies in the 2000's. He's now a fire captain in suburban Dallas and owns a baseball strength and conditioning business with several other exMLB players.  Our younger son was drafted out of hs, played for Texas Tech, and worked through numerous surgeries/rehabs to finally take the field one last time his senior year.  He majored in turf management/chemistry and is now a golf course superintendent for a private club in Houston.  Both are happy family guys and don't miss baseball at all. They do have some great baseball memories, though, and still "compete" in everything they do.  I think they're wired that way for life!

In reflection, the best advice I could give to those of you still in the "baseball parent trenches," would be to fully enjoy it, but don't let it consume you.  Resist the urge to worry, because it will only drain pleasure out of your experience.  Someday you will move on to different, better things....like grandkids ... and everything you stressed over will seem relatively insignificant.  Prepare your sons for that reality, too, and continue to support their journey after they hang up their cleats.   In the end, baseball really isn't as important as it feels right now.  It's one stage in life, one step in life's journey.  Enjoy it while it lasts... and then welcome the next path, wherever it leads. 

For my $$, this is one of the most important posts ever written on this site. Thank you for taking the time to come back & share your insights.

rynoattack posted:

Thanks everyone!  It was so nice to see him happy!  

Sometimes that's all it takes to get back on track.....one great outing.  Son has been up and down thru his 3 years....mostly up, but when you have a stretch of 2 or 3 games where things didn't go like you hoped, it can get to a kid.  Son kind of went thru that this year, but seems to have figured out that it's not the end of the world.  Keep throwing and come back and get them the next time you're on the mound.  Congrats to Ryno....keep throwing strikes and good things will happen.

Absolutely beautiful post! Such truth and wisdom. Thank you for sharing. I am right there with you Mom. Right there with you all the way!

baseballhs posted:

rynoattack posted:

baseballhs posted:

Thank you.  I have been trying to have that pep talk with myself lately.  It is what it is.  He will make it or he won't.  I don't like feeling more worried than excited and in the end, it really is a game.  A game that can break your heart (watching it break your son's), but still a game.  They are all much more than their baseball abilities.  Going to keep working on this.  Appreciate you sharing your insight.

You touched on the part that is hardest for me. (Watching it break your son's heart.)  He wants to perform and be a positive contributor, but it hasn't happened yet.

Congratulations! Watched his interview. Those are the times that make the heart breaks worth it.  

Congrats to Ryno and Ryan, appears he pitched one heck of a game.  What I find interesting is listening how players give interviews.  Nerves aside, I'm amazed when these young men conduct themselves properly, give appropriate answers, give credit to teammates, and appear humble yet confident.  I know it is a direct reflection on how the players were raised and family values.  Congrats again!

TXMOM, thanks for the post/thread.  It is sometimes difficult to go through the process and then, when it is over, one wonders where it went.  The most important part of your son's journey was that you are a great parent.  I know that they must appreciate that.  

When my daughter, BB, finished her career, I wondered what her life would be like.  So often I had to say to her that softball was what she did and was not who she was.  Now, she is coaching high school and teaching 5th grade.  Every day she is so thankful for her playing days but also that they enabled her to have a great career teaching.  I just talked to her and she is feeling depressed a little at all of the rain outs.  She wants her players to get to play every day.  While only a volunteer assistant, she is in one of the top programs in the state so we are so happy for her.  

TXMOM, enjoy the rest of the journey now as a grandparent.  I am betting that your sons turn out to be pretty special dads.  

I don't have anything new to add here, but I continue to find it interesting that the anxiety of the parents (for 99% of ball players) often continues off and on for years throughout his/her ENTIRE career: making the 9u all-star team, fighting through an injury, making the competitive travel team, making the HS JV or varsity team as a freshman, making the HS varsity team, cracking the starting lineup, performing well, navigating college recruitment, surviving the first Fall of college ball cuts, making the college starting lineup, performing well, finding a good Summer ball home, performing well, etc., etc.  Again, I remember being bummed for my son and admittedly myself when he was pitching and essentially lost the 9u/10u league championship game.   Looking back, its silly/completely embarrassing. 

We are not idiots.  (I hope.)  Intellectually, as parents we know that (i) it's just a game, (ii) our kids are more than ball players, and (iii) we should just enjoy the ride versus stressing over the dips in the roller-coaster ride.  Absolutely.

But, this thread suggests that I am far from alone when I say that I still haven't figured out how not to get too twisted by the lows of baseball (even though by all accounts my son is currently doing great).. . . [as always, knocking on wood]  As others have mentioned, a big part of the challenge is that our parental anxiety is tied to our player's mood/mental struggles.  (But, that is probably not 100% of it.  As baseball parents, regrettably we have some of our own ego skin in the game.)

This thread feels like baseball parent anxiety therapy.  Love it.

b i g m a c posted:

I don't have anything new to add here, but I continue to find it interesting that the anxiety of the parents (for 99% of ball players) often continues off and on for years throughout his/her ENTIRE career: making the 9u all-star team, fighting through an injury, making the competitive travel team, making the HS JV or varsity team as a freshman, making the HS varsity team, cracking the starting lineup, performing well, navigating college recruitment, surviving the first Fall of college ball cuts, making the college starting lineup, performing well, finding a good Summer ball home, performing well, etc., etc.  Again, I remember being bummed for my son and admittedly myself when he was pitching and essentially lost the 9u/10u league championship game.   Looking back, its silly/completely embarrassing. 

We are not idiots.  (I hope.)  Intellectually, as parents we know that (i) it's just a game, (ii) our kids are more than ball players, and (iii) we should just enjoy the ride versus stressing over the dips in the roller-coaster ride.  Absolutely.

But, this thread suggests that I am far from alone when I say that I still haven't figured out how not to get too twisted by the lows of baseball (even though by all accounts my son is currently doing great).. . . [as always, knocking on wood]  As others have mentioned, a big part of the challenge is that our parental anxiety is tied to our player's mood/mental struggles.  (But, that is probably not 100% of it.  As baseball parents, regrettably we have some of our own ego skin in the game.)

This thread feels like baseball parent anxiety therapy.  Love it.

Thank you for being honest. I keep wondering when it will end. You’ve basically said it won’t. But it’s not just about baseball, is it?  I think this is about being a parent and forever worrying about their performance in life. 

I don't think the suggestion here is to try to pretend that these games or experiences do not matter or to make an attempt to act indifferent to the results or the journey. I think the big picture is that we need to try to remember that each experience (positive or negative) for our kids on the field is not life or death. At the time, when your blood pressure is sky high, filled with nervous energy & anxiety, it can seem that way. This is part of the hook or the thrill of watching your child perform. It makes you feel ALIVE. This is not a bad thing, but just remember that the sun always seems to come up the next day & yesterdays results diminish in value as the days & years roll by & you are ultimately left with the Man that is crafted from these experiences when the spikes get hung up.  

If the baseball piece is a major part of his life, your dealings with his failures & success will be a factor in creating who he becomes as a man. You want a cool customer, be cool. You want a yeller, yell at him. You want someone overly critical, jump his a** in the truck on the way home.

Like so many here, I, too, applaud the advice in the OP...and am very happy for Ryno Jr., as well!

The one thing I might add is a suggestion that those who have hung up the spikes and found new paths to explore try to find a way to maintain a place for baseball in their lives in some meaningful way and seek opportunities to give back to the sport that helped them develop and grow into adulthood. In order for that process to continue for others in the future, it depends upon good people who have benefited from baseball's many lessons to find voluntary ways to contribute to the game.

Opportunities exist in many forms. If the love of the game continues for those who played it, seek out the most natural, meaningful form available and add it as yet another path to pursue.

This site continues to change me for the better as a baseball parent.

Thanks TX