Conversation at the Ball Park:
Home Coach: "Hey Ump, the other team's pitcher is takin' too many warm up throws."
Ump (approaching home coach): "What's that you say coach? Sorry I didn't hear ya clearly, I was watchin' yer festivities here. I love watchin' the little tykes run around the bases backwards."
Home Coach: "I said that the other team's pitcher is takin' more warm up throws than he's allowed to. The rules say he can't do that. You gotta penalize him."
Ump: "Ya know Coach, I've been Umpin' a long time now but I'm just an average workin' Ump and I always thought the rule was just there, ya know, to keep things movin' along. I don't know about any real penalty for it."
Visiting Coach approaches: "Hey, what's goin' on over here?"
Ump: "Well, the home Coach here says yer pitcher is warmin' up too much and he wants me to penalize him for it."
Vis Coach: "Are you kiddn' me? He's got these people all over the field holdin' things up and he wants to penalize MY pitcher. He oughta be penalized for holdin' up the game.
Ump to Vis Coach: "Now wait a minute, Coach. Are you maybe talkin' about OBR Rule 4.15 that says a team can't employ tactics palpably designed to delay or shorten the game."
Vis Coach: "Uhh yeah, that's what I mean. He's bein' a palpable designer."
Ump to Home Coach: "Ya know Coach, I know you're a solid baseball guy and you don't think up these festivity things. You got clever marketing folks that do that. But the other Coach might have a point here. Now I'm not a highly educated man; just an average workin' Ump. Heck, I'm not even sure what palpably means. But I do know that if all these folks are on the field much longer I might easily peceive that you arranged to have them out there, you know, to maybe give yer pitcher a little more rest between innigs, or maybe work on yer lead-off hitters sore shoulder a little more before you send him to the plate." And I'm pretty sure there's a penalty for doin' that stuff."
Vis Coach: "Yeah, yeah, he could be doin' that stuff. What's the penalty for that Ump.
Ump to Vis Coach: "Well let me get my OBR thingy out here and open 'er up to the right page and...HOLY MACKERAL Coach! It says here that if he does any palpably designed (dang, there's that word again) stuff that he might hafta forfeit the game to you."
Home Coach turning toward field: "Hey, get these people off the field. We gotta get this game movin'."
Ump to himself: "Palpably. What a neat word. I gotta go look that up."
No, it didn't really happen. Just suggesting that sometimes when a coach is squeezing the Umpire for something the Umpire can sometimes squeeze back.
Sorry, sometimes a situation just makes this stuff jump into my head.