As a parent, along the journey what mistakes do you think you made and what information do you wish you had known sooner than you learned it? I'd be curious to know the age of the player and how far he's gone.
Original Post
Replies sorted oldest to newest
quote:Originally posted by TG:
As a parent, along the journey what mistakes do you think you made and what information do you wish you had known sooner than you learned it? I'd be curious to know the age of the player and how far he's gone.
After 5511 posts and not trying to sound redundant for those who know me, we wouldn't change a thing. Things have worked out well for our son.
Not sure why you are asking, but if you go up to the left and place your cursor there a pop up list will appear. Go to WHERE ARE THEY. I think the list needs to be updated but it would give you an idea of where some of our boys are now or have been.
Quite of our boys were recently drafted, not on the list and lots of our boys have recently committed to college programs.
the winning powerball numbers.lol
quote:what mistakes do you think you made
My biggest mistake was not finding this site soon enough. It's given me all the information I've needed be it through reading or getting to know the 'right' people on here at the 'right' time.
As TPM already stated check out the where are they now section of this site for the remainder of your post. It's quite an impressive list.
I don't think our family has made many mistakes, thanks to all the sound advice on this message board. But one thing I wish we had not done was pay $500 for our son to attend a 3-day long camp at a Top 10 program during his freshman year of high school. In retrospect, we would have spent the $500 on private lessons with a good instructor who could have addressed our son's particular needs.
My son is a rising senior who plans to play college ball. We just don't know where yet.
My son is a rising senior who plans to play college ball. We just don't know where yet.
(1). I'd have found this board sooner, although it's been a great resource.
(2). As far as how the "process" has gone, it's gone pretty well. Both of our sons are playing college ball at the same school, one a senior, one a sophmore.
(3). I'd be VERY reluctant to have a college pitching coach, 2-3 years removed from playing himself, make drastic changes in pitching mechanics that were pretty well refined by an extremely well-regarding professional pitching coach with over 30 years of experience. In hindsight, the 100% "do whatever the coach says" hurt. It's a dicey area, but the college pitching coach changed my older son from an almost over the top thrower to a slightly above sidearm pitcher. Result? A tad more velocity (the goal was to take him from being an 82-84 guy to a 88-90 guy; he got to 86), a serious loss of control, loss of his bread and butter changeup, and an arm that started to hurt, that had never hurt before. He no longer pitches.
(2). As far as how the "process" has gone, it's gone pretty well. Both of our sons are playing college ball at the same school, one a senior, one a sophmore.
(3). I'd be VERY reluctant to have a college pitching coach, 2-3 years removed from playing himself, make drastic changes in pitching mechanics that were pretty well refined by an extremely well-regarding professional pitching coach with over 30 years of experience. In hindsight, the 100% "do whatever the coach says" hurt. It's a dicey area, but the college pitching coach changed my older son from an almost over the top thrower to a slightly above sidearm pitcher. Result? A tad more velocity (the goal was to take him from being an 82-84 guy to a 88-90 guy; he got to 86), a serious loss of control, loss of his bread and butter changeup, and an arm that started to hurt, that had never hurt before. He no longer pitches.
Same here...wished we would have found this site a few years earlier...we could have benefited greatly I'm sure.
Don't know what it was that we wish we had known sooner but I feel we are much better prepared for the next round which will start shortly.
I think the one solid issue would be to talk with players or parents already in the program especially when there is a new head coach in the program. It was tough to gage history etc when there was no track record.
I think the one solid issue would be to talk with players or parents already in the program especially when there is a new head coach in the program. It was tough to gage history etc when there was no track record.
1; I wish I'd found out about travel ball and other playing options so that my older son would have benefited by them(our local LL is a sham and the only show in town)
2; This website would have made a difference on his developement and marketing also.
3; Wouldn't have spent money on a particular web-guru's pitching program...it was just a Dumb Move
4; I would like to have had a better understanding of what's expected at the HS level...better preparation.
5; Hokieone, here's an interesting irony; My older son went to a program that also tried to change his mechanics, with similar results. He wanted him to come over the top more, though. He's now struggling with continuing or giving it up.
Rollerman
'
That this website is so addictive....
That I would have met so many nice people who hang out here....
That height really does matter....
How much more money I would spend on baseball after the initial Little Tykes Batting Tee....
And as a wise man from the east says, (I) "cannot believe how much luck or fate plays a role in things".
That this website is so addictive....
That I would have met so many nice people who hang out here....
That height really does matter....
How much more money I would spend on baseball after the initial Little Tykes Batting Tee....
And as a wise man from the east says, (I) "cannot believe how much luck or fate plays a role in things".
I would have had my first 2 boy's @ the college of their choice after their sophomore year.
They both received nice D1 ships but I was unaware at that time that a visit to your school of choice's camp is the first thing to do.
My first 2 wound up transferring to other schools while the last one is thoroghly enjoying his experience at exactly the school he wanted to attend.
They both received nice D1 ships but I was unaware at that time that a visit to your school of choice's camp is the first thing to do.
My first 2 wound up transferring to other schools while the last one is thoroghly enjoying his experience at exactly the school he wanted to attend.
TG, that is a very good question. My son played college baseball for three years and is in his second full year of MILB. I know you are trying to be baseball specific but I feel as if baseball, lifestyle, and preparing for the future are all combined at this stage of their life. If you focus on only one thing the other two can suffer. I think we have all made mistakes --- we may not call them mistakes but I think we would all change certain things if we could do it all over again. I think the first thing I would have done was help him focus on one position. As a two way player in high school and college and having changed positions twice in pro ball he is still unsure as to where his baseball future lies. Playing multiple positions does provide additional opportunities at the hs and college level it also hinders the player from maximizing his growth at one position. This could ultimately hurt at HIS highest level.
The second thing I would have changed was to insist on honors courses in high school. While my son graduated HS with honors he was not challenged and didn’t develop good study habits. I think advanced courses develop good study habits and better prepares the student athlete for college. I also think a high school senior student/athlete should have selected a major BEFORE they enter college and not leave that up to the academic advisors. My son didn’t have a major ---- except baseball. The college level athletic/academic advisors tend to look at helping the "athletic portion" of the college experience more so than the academics. Their main goal is to keep the athlete eligible to compete. They tend to guide the athlete in the “easiest” direction.
I would also have liked to see my son take some “life skills” courses in high school to better prepare him for the everyday chores we all must cope with. With so much time being spent on baseball during his youth, many things were pushed to the back burner and not addressed. I saw him struggle with household organization, auto maintenance, balancing checkbooks, budgeting expenses and especially time management. Time management can be a real challenge in college for the student/athlete. He seems to have adjusted but in my opinion I could have done a better job preparing him.
Their life style will be unique and we need to prepare them for that. I know a lot more can be done in this area. I read all the time of bad things happening to athletes. It seems as if athletes tend to be more exposed to the dangers of life than most others. Drugs, drinking, long trips, money (other peoples), friendly females, unique individuals, new surroundings, late nights and long hours come with the territory. They have to be on their toes and conduct themselves “differently” than the general population. I know there are a lot of parents out there that wish they would have done (or said more) when they had the chance.
Fungo
The second thing I would have changed was to insist on honors courses in high school. While my son graduated HS with honors he was not challenged and didn’t develop good study habits. I think advanced courses develop good study habits and better prepares the student athlete for college. I also think a high school senior student/athlete should have selected a major BEFORE they enter college and not leave that up to the academic advisors. My son didn’t have a major ---- except baseball. The college level athletic/academic advisors tend to look at helping the "athletic portion" of the college experience more so than the academics. Their main goal is to keep the athlete eligible to compete. They tend to guide the athlete in the “easiest” direction.
I would also have liked to see my son take some “life skills” courses in high school to better prepare him for the everyday chores we all must cope with. With so much time being spent on baseball during his youth, many things were pushed to the back burner and not addressed. I saw him struggle with household organization, auto maintenance, balancing checkbooks, budgeting expenses and especially time management. Time management can be a real challenge in college for the student/athlete. He seems to have adjusted but in my opinion I could have done a better job preparing him.
Their life style will be unique and we need to prepare them for that. I know a lot more can be done in this area. I read all the time of bad things happening to athletes. It seems as if athletes tend to be more exposed to the dangers of life than most others. Drugs, drinking, long trips, money (other peoples), friendly females, unique individuals, new surroundings, late nights and long hours come with the territory. They have to be on their toes and conduct themselves “differently” than the general population. I know there are a lot of parents out there that wish they would have done (or said more) when they had the chance.
Fungo
About the only thing would have been to have my son better rested for showcases...but an extra long legion season to regionals made that impossible.
quote:Originally posted by Fungo:
TG, that is a very good question. My son played college baseball for three years and is in his second full year of MILB. I know you are trying to be baseball specific but I feel as if baseball, lifestyle, and preparing for the future are all combined at this stage of their life.
I was thinking a little more baseball specific since I have a daughter playing college softball. Great response though. I went through the recruiting process thirty years ago. My daughter recently went through it. I'm not going to assume things haven't changed from my day, which I believe would be nuts, or it's the same as my daughter's journey. I'm sure there will be some similarties with the process my daughter went through. However, I believe there are a lot more high school age boys wanting to play college baseball than there are high school girls wanting to play college softball (It's an assumption. I don't have any data) and it's much more competitive.
One difference between baseball and softball is girls physically mature earlier. Both my kids are physical late bloomers. But my daughter was still 5'10" by fourteen. My son (projected to be 6'1" to 6'4") is 5'8", 130 heading into high school. It was much easier to see the package early on with my daughter. I look at my son's skills and fundamentals and see tremendous potential based on where he fits in the talent pool right now.
Academics come first. My daughter was NHS. She chose her college, not the other way around. My son will be taking all honors classes in high school. Since 5% of high school players play college ball, 10% of college players get drafted and 1% of all minor leaguers stick in the majors for a career, right now there a 99.99995% chance he'll go further in the professional world than in baseball. How about those odds of making a career in MLB!
quote:10% of college players get drafted and 1% of all minor leaguers stick in the majors for a career, right now there a 99.99995% chance he'll go further in the professional world than in baseball
Let's not let facts get in the way of a wide eyed dream!
quote:Originally posted by Fungo:quote:10% of college players get drafted and 1% of all minor leaguers stick in the majors for a career, right now there a 99.99995% chance he'll go further in the professional world than in baseball
Let's not let facts get in the way of a wide eyed dream!
The odds are mind boggling, aren't they? We get a new cable network called MOJO. They ran a six part series on making the majors called The Show. It chronicled six 2006 D'backs prospects.
The D'backs GM said when you look at the odds, pro baseball is a bad career choice. Only 1% of minor leaguers get the call and stick. He added, yet if a player signs as a first round pick or a last round pick, the player better believe or he doesn't have a chance.
The prospects were Carlos Quinten who has been up and down this year after being up two months last year (he's a first rounder expected to stick), Chris Young the D'backs 07 CF'er, Casey Daigle who's been up and down six times in three years, Dustin Nippert who's been up and down three times in two years, Bill Murphy who's never been up and Brian Barden who was just released after 2 1/2 solid AAA season due to no place for him on the MLB roster. He was up for two weeks earlier this year due to an injury. When the D'backs signed Jeff Cirillo last week they releassed him.
TG,
Everything.
Everything.
What a GREAT idea for a thread!!!! Two thumbs up TG, and a special thanks to those who have shared so far!!
I wish I had known how much information is available on the internet before I started my put money in the gas tank and go search for a college 'fit' for my son. If you are willing to put the time in you can find out about the head coach, the assistant coach, the AD, the faculty in his proposed major, the size of the roster, the hitting philosophy of the team, the pitching philosophy of the team and all kinds of other valuble information. Browsing these college websites when they first make contact with your son is invaluable.
TW344
TW344
TW344
TW344
I'm going to side with Fungo and say the things I'd most want to change would be in the area of preparing our son better for the "other" things in ordinary life...most especially girls and parking laws. 
Wow...we've been so lucky. Great coaches, great teams, and I found this site right as my son is beginning high school. Baseball has given us so much - friends, fun, challenges, joy. I'm learning so much from y'all that we should be able to make good decisions in the future.
There is one valuable thing that I learned last year - stay out of the drama! Good grief it can get bad. I thought AAU was bad, but in HS here, it is unbelievable.
But that's been the only negative. We are enjoying today, and looking forward to the future!
There is one valuable thing that I learned last year - stay out of the drama! Good grief it can get bad. I thought AAU was bad, but in HS here, it is unbelievable.
But that's been the only negative. We are enjoying today, and looking forward to the future!
2BMom I like that - "Stay out of the drama"
I learned the difference between useful showcases and wastes of money by reading up on this website.
I learned we had made the right travel ball decisions
I learned about colleges, Junior Days, letters, and recruiting
I learned about the importance of "fit"
Now teach me how to deal with him being away at college!
I learned the difference between useful showcases and wastes of money by reading up on this website.
I learned we had made the right travel ball decisions
I learned about colleges, Junior Days, letters, and recruiting
I learned about the importance of "fit"
Now teach me how to deal with him being away at college!
"What do I wish I had known sooner?" That's an easy one...I wish I had known that red follows yellow.
I always knew that talent but more important determination is necessary in all things. I laearned a long time ago that life is not fair. There were time when my son was coming up that he was on the short end of the fair. people would say you should talk to the coach. I never did because I felt being on his own and dealing with stuff had to start sometime. We had long conversations about fair. To make a long story short he fought through it. No he did not get drafted but he worked his butt off and played in high school and college. His work ethic was the main reason. He graduated and is on his own. He has been an assistant coach at the high school level for a couple years. As a former coach I have seen him work with his players. he is very good. it worked out
Will... 
I need someone to help me deal with them when they come home!!!! 
Knowing HSBBW sooner...a given...
Would not have attended any showcases except a couple of PG's (with the exception of the SE Baseball showcase, where Andy really liked my son as a player and went out of his way to get him some exposure)...the college camps served no purpose but to line the pockets of the coaches
Ours was a bit of a different situation, because our coach wasn't even reactive to college questionaires, so it was all on our shoulders.
I wouldn't trust what college recruiters had to say about how they value your son...let the money do the talking.
RIght now my son is a freshman at Army.
Would not have attended any showcases except a couple of PG's (with the exception of the SE Baseball showcase, where Andy really liked my son as a player and went out of his way to get him some exposure)...the college camps served no purpose but to line the pockets of the coaches
Ours was a bit of a different situation, because our coach wasn't even reactive to college questionaires, so it was all on our shoulders.
I wouldn't trust what college recruiters had to say about how they value your son...let the money do the talking.
RIght now my son is a freshman at Army.
Don't for one second believe the school or coaches care about your son's best interest. If it doesn't fit their best interest they'll kick him under the bus.
I would definately be more proactive and less naive with my first son's college coaches.
I was so intent on "not medling" and "trusting" them. 
When I finally stepped in I made the mistake of fighting them to have him get an operation which they didn't want to pay for...but which the specialists said was best. I think they took their anger for me out on him. Hard to say.
In order to get him they allowed him to lose a year of eligibility by purposefully putting him in for one at bat...then kicking him off the team after the game. Had they not done that he would have been eligible for a medical waiver.
Realistically, what they wanted to do was drop him from scholarship but keep him on the team. I thought that was wrong given a promise they made to us when he signed so he left school and transferred to a JC. Despite being a college summer league all-star and Offensive MVP over two different seasons he never got another offer. I beleive the original school effectively blackballed him.
Ironically, they admitted it to the NCAA after months of me and the AD going around with the NCAA...the NCAA said too bad your son got screwed but the rules are the rules.
So I learned colleges can't be trusted and there's not much a parent can do about it because the NCAA is gonna side with the college every time.
I would definately be more proactive and less naive with my first son's college coaches.
When I finally stepped in I made the mistake of fighting them to have him get an operation which they didn't want to pay for...but which the specialists said was best. I think they took their anger for me out on him. Hard to say.
In order to get him they allowed him to lose a year of eligibility by purposefully putting him in for one at bat...then kicking him off the team after the game. Had they not done that he would have been eligible for a medical waiver.
Realistically, what they wanted to do was drop him from scholarship but keep him on the team. I thought that was wrong given a promise they made to us when he signed so he left school and transferred to a JC. Despite being a college summer league all-star and Offensive MVP over two different seasons he never got another offer. I beleive the original school effectively blackballed him.
Ironically, they admitted it to the NCAA after months of me and the AD going around with the NCAA...the NCAA said too bad your son got screwed but the rules are the rules.
So I learned colleges can't be trusted and there's not much a parent can do about it because the NCAA is gonna side with the college every time.
Wow!
I hope your son came out of this OK, and I trust he's moved on. The fact that you didn't name the school or coach lends me to think you've moved on too. Thank you for sharing that horror story here for all to ponder. Life ain't always fair, and coaches aren't always doing it "for the kids."
I hope your son came out of this OK, and I trust he's moved on. The fact that you didn't name the school or coach lends me to think you've moved on too. Thank you for sharing that horror story here for all to ponder. Life ain't always fair, and coaches aren't always doing it "for the kids."
quote:Originally posted by mrmom:
Don't for one second believe the school or coaches care about your son's best interest. If it doesn't fit their best interest they'll kick him under the bus.
I'm sorry you feel this way but in my opinion, not the case with most coaches I know. (and I know a lot.) Unfortunately, you ran into a terrible situation. I hope your son overcomes this setback.
I wish I'd know sooner the impact coaching would have had on my family. I'd have still done it and wouldn't change one thing. The family life of most coaches are affected and a lot of the times it is in a negative fashion. I'm blessed to have married a woman that understands me, my drive to build a program and who understands my passion for the sport. Some of my closest coaching friends have not been as blessed. I'd also change the impact upon my child. Unfortunately, in a small community, who I am has affected other people in the communities opinions about her. She didn't get to pick her dad. She's a great kid despite who her dad is.
Per players, I haven't always made the best choices but the mistakes I've made have been honest mistakes. Therefore, I stand by them. JMHO!
quote:I've made have been honest mistakes.
a decision is a decision.the ultimate mistake is not admitting when you make a bad one.
WOW, this is certainly a very interesting thread.
mrmom's experience is an eye opener! IMO I think you should let everyone know who the coach was that did that to your son. If he did it once, seems that he'd do it again?
Thanks to everyone for sharing their experience.
Looking back, I would have found less expensive teams to play on at 13, 14, and 15. We paid too much and it now seems that scouts really do not take that much interest until they are 16/17/18u.
My son always played up and at 14 played 16u and this past summer at 16 played on 18u and 17u teams. That is something I would do again!
mrmom's experience is an eye opener! IMO I think you should let everyone know who the coach was that did that to your son. If he did it once, seems that he'd do it again?
Thanks to everyone for sharing their experience.
Looking back, I would have found less expensive teams to play on at 13, 14, and 15. We paid too much and it now seems that scouts really do not take that much interest until they are 16/17/18u.
My son always played up and at 14 played 16u and this past summer at 16 played on 18u and 17u teams. That is something I would do again!
Probably if the time goes back, I try to convince my son not to sign pro, and go to college. And that involve to help him to be a better student.
Good grades plus talent=D-1 scholarship=hight round draft= good money bonus =quit move up the ladder=back up profession=future security.
Good grades plus talent=D-1 scholarship=hight round draft= good money bonus =quit move up the ladder=back up profession=future security.
One thing I wished I had known sooner was how hard it would be for my son to get looks in New Mexico. A small state population-wise, NM is certainly not well covered by pro scouts and largely overlooked by college recruiters. UNM can apparently afford to sit back on even the best local talent knowing they won't have to compete with anyone. Things have really worked out well my son, but I had to get him out of the state to get him seen.
I would actually think twice before recommending NM to a parent of a rising HS player. And still, with it's big blue skies, enchanting sceneries, and wonderful weather, NM is a truly beautiful place to live.
NOTE TO COLLEGE RECRUITERS: There are much more than a handfull of hungry, hard-nosed kids in New Mexico that would love a chance to play in a quality program.
I would actually think twice before recommending NM to a parent of a rising HS player. And still, with it's big blue skies, enchanting sceneries, and wonderful weather, NM is a truly beautiful place to live.
NOTE TO COLLEGE RECRUITERS: There are much more than a handfull of hungry, hard-nosed kids in New Mexico that would love a chance to play in a quality program.
quote:Originally posted by AL MA 08:
I think you should let everyone know who the coach was that did that to your son. If he did it once, seems that he'd do it again?
Yes, I agree whole-heartedly. I'd like to research that case. If the facts are correct then you wouldn't be slandering the coach right? Let's hear it, where did this happen, and when?
quote:Originally posted by spizzlepop:
NOTE TO COLLEGE RECRUITERS: There are much more than a handfull of hungry, hard-nosed kids in New Mexico that would love a chance to play in a quality program.
I think the whole idea of college recruiters looking for baseball talent in New Mexico is sort of alien to most of them...
I'm tellin ya Woody. Some of these guys can play!
Where DO you guys get your stuff??!!!!
Where do we get our stuff Infield08? Area 51...of course!
[QUOTE]Originally posted by AL MA 08:
WOW, this is certainly a very interesting thread.
mrmom's experience is an eye opener! IMO I think you should let everyone know who the coach was that did that to your son. If he did it once, seems that he'd do it again?[QUOTE]
I do not agree with this suggestion. If anyone would care to know I am sure mrmom would be happy to supply it in a pm.
I am not doubting something happened to make mrmom feel this way. There are some horror stories out there. However, this should be a good lesson for parents to be familiar with what happens when injury occurs and redshirt rules.
JMO.
WOW, this is certainly a very interesting thread.
mrmom's experience is an eye opener! IMO I think you should let everyone know who the coach was that did that to your son. If he did it once, seems that he'd do it again?[QUOTE]
I do not agree with this suggestion. If anyone would care to know I am sure mrmom would be happy to supply it in a pm.
I am not doubting something happened to make mrmom feel this way. There are some horror stories out there. However, this should be a good lesson for parents to be familiar with what happens when injury occurs and redshirt rules.
JMO.