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I've heard it many times: "My son quit playing baseball because it wasn't fun anymore."

Most of the times that I hear it, the reasons are one of these:

Coach turned the kid off the game.

Kid was experiencing too much failure.

Kid was feeling too much pressure to compete and do well.

Kid didn't want to make the sacrifices needed to play or didn't want to put in the hours and work associated to playing.

Kid didn't make the team that they wanted/felt that they deserved.

What other things make baseball not be fun anymore?

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In some cases, people find something more enjoyable to do with their time or find skills more applicable to other activities.   I coached a young man who was my starting SS on my travel team for 3 years.   He pitched and had a secondary position (OF) as all my players did.  His parents were heavily involved, and big supporters of our team.  Our teams purpose was for our players to make their high school JV team in 8th grade and all of our kids did.  He would have been a no-brainer to make his high school JV team.  He decided he wanted to get into robotics, and the robotics team at school.   I ran into his Dad a few years later, and he told me he was just as surprised as I was that he dropped baseball to pursue other activities.   The young man is doing extremely well after graduating from UVA.  So, I think he simply found something more fun than baseball.

Just my experience....

These are just my opinions based on what I've seen. There've been a couple great youth ballplayers that inexplicably left the game during college.

Parents that become too involved, and make their kids success too much a part of their life (watch Searching for Bobby Fischer). If your kid really good at something, some of his identity will bleed over onto the parents. This is the primary reason I've never worn team gear - I was always there, at most every game but for him specifically - not as part of the team (that solely belonged to him). I loved and still miss the youth baseball team social circles, I just feel it's good for the kids to understand we're supporting them and we're not a part of the team.  

Priorities and balance - I think as some kids become adults they decide that girls and other things are more important now that they have a choice. I think that lack of choices when they are younger and their desire to want to please their parents can create a big shift in priorities when it's totally their call.

Loss of identity, If you've been really good at something you're whole life (everyone has told you so - including your parents) it becomes who and what you are. That kid is really good at baseball, that kid is a ballplayer, that kid is a stud... Then they go to college, and they're average or less than average until they progress (if they progress). I think this one takes out some really good ball players that didn't push through it.

Last edited by JucoDad

My son's best friend was always the best player around starting at age 7.  This meant every time they moved up a level he was the first pick in the draft.  So he always went to the worst team with the worst coaches.  By 13 he was sick of losing and sick of baseball.  He is now a starting D1 linebacker.

Sometimes elite athletes play Baseball because they are really great at playing Baseball, not because they necessarily love the game.  Their ability opens the door for them to get scholarship money at good schools, or even get real money in the draft.  

Baseball is a game of failure, I would say that if you don’t love the game, it’s often not fun.

@K9 posted:

My son's best friend was always the best player around starting at age 7.  This meant every time they moved up a level he was the first pick in the draft.  So he always went to the worst team with the worst coaches.  By 13 he was sick of losing and sick of baseball.  He is now a starting D1 linebacker.

Would this have been avoided if they played travel early on where they can pick the team and coach they want?  I am not a proponent of travel ball early.  But this is one of the biggest attraction to going travel (doesn't mean that the promise of better coaching becomes a reality).

Years ago I was introduced to Dr Joel Fish by a friend who was a youth sports advocate. Dr Joel Fish is the head of the Center for Sports Psychology in Philadelphia. They work with pro sports teams and Team USA teams. But their largest client base at the time was teens who were turned off and burned out by a sport but were afraid to quit because their parents were so financially and emotionally invested. He eventually wrote a book called “101 Ways to be a terrific sports parent” when he realized his teens had talent and he was becoming one of “those” parents.

My friend who was the youth sports advocate wrote “Just let the kids play.” He was an NBA first round pick and played four years in the NBA. In this video he talks about parents needs in youth sports versus kids needs. It’s either funny or pathetic Maybe both. It’s a minute, nineteen seconds. He’s talking about little kids. But my view is I’ve seen those weekends become the parents’s life for the talented kids in their teens. I’ll never forget one mother saying she won’t know what to do with her life on the weekends when travel ball ends.

https://youtu.be/MPzQQLJsYA8

When I was coaching 9u travel as we made the last out in the last championship game of the season one of the kids commented, “Thank f’ing God it’s over.” I thought the statement was more of a concern than the language for a nine year old. I asked why. The kid said until soccer starts he won’t have his game ripped apart all the way home no matter how well he played.

Dad wasn’t an athlete. But he watched every training video. His kids were damn well going to be athletes. They moved across the city. My son ran into the kid at second base in high school. He asked if the dad was there. The kid said he would only play sports if dad didn’t attend. Then he added, he’s probably behind a tree somewhere. 

Last edited by RJM

Francis:

You are using a negative "NOT FUN". The game of  Baseball is a "positive"! It is a class in Social Psychology. Ask Yogi.

If you go 0 for 4 and strike out 4 times the player need to find the positive. {One foul ball} "miss by inch". Next time, I will adjust my stance, my vision and Fine focus.

Sometimes a player needs a "sponsor" - Pro Scout; Team Coach; a teammate; a Parent [mother or father] for a positive reinforcement.

Bob

Last edited by Consultant

Bad coaching aside.   I think partially it's how competitive everything across the board has gotten.  It's so hard to just be a well rounded kid when everything now is all year long, whether that's sport or other pursuits like music or robotics, etc..  I kind of laugh when I hear anyone talk about one sport specialization and that you should play all these other sports,  to me that sounds like a one dimensional kid of just about sports.  There is so much more taking up kids time.. but like sports...

Everything has become competitive, which demands way more time than I ever put into any of it.  Nothing is a hobby anymore, hs band is a class, summer band practices and travel competitions during winter and spring breaks, robotics is all summer long with travel competitions and multiple day a week meetings.  Add in caring about grades and joining clubs, extracurriculars, etc. there is so much going on in a young kids life, eventually something has to be cut out.

When all those other activities don't have a coach yelling at you for the one bad play vs the 4 good plays, I can see why baseball is the thing many kids leave behind.

For my oldest son, it was that his core group of friends in school didn't play baseball.  He was certainly good enough to have played in HS, but he just wasn't friends with the other kids with whom he would have had to spend a lot of time at baseball, and he didn't want to join a travel team with them.  His friends were all on an ultimate frisbee team, so he did that, and had a lot of fun (also played in college).  He umpired little league for 6 years and earned his spending money that way, though.

I think if you play a team sport you have to like the other players, whether on youth teams, travel, or HS.

@atlnon posted:

Would this have been avoided if they played travel early on where they can pick the team and coach they want?  I am not a proponent of travel ball early.  But this is one of the biggest attraction to going travel (doesn't mean that the promise of better coaching becomes a reality).

Theoretically, but our immediate area is far from a baseball hotspot.  We weren't even really aware of travel until the kids were 11.

When I was growing up (late 70's-early 80's) summer was for baseball.  That's all there was other than maybe a trip to the local pool.    Kids looked forward to it.  Now, due to AAU, 7 on 7's, etc.....summer isn't just for baseball.  If a kid is a baseball, basketball and football player, his summer is now 6 (possibly 7) days a week of sports.....probably 2 sports a day in some cases.  Unfortunately a lot of kids are football or basketball first then baseball afterwards.  I know my son's HS losing ALOT of very talented kids once they hit their freshman year because they are getting pulled from all 3 coaches.  Our school is one of the top basketball schools in the state....and is very good in football.  Baseball is normally around .500.....so unfortunately the kids (other than the true baseball kids) usually end up giving up on baseball just due to the fact that there aren't enough hours in the week.

I think many of those who say it is not fun anymore didn't LOVE it like you have to love it for the long haul.  Don't take this as a bad thing.  It moves from completely fun to a loving fun and some just lose the love of the game.  Realizing it is a good thing.  It is all consuming.  Son does baseball 8 hours a day almost every day of the year.  There are days he loves it more than others.

@PitchingFan posted:

I think many of those who say it is not fun anymore didn't LOVE it like you have to love it for the long haul.  Don't take this as a bad thing.  It moves from completely fun to a loving fun and some just lose the love of the game.  Realizing it is a good thing.  It is all consuming.  Son does baseball 8 hours a day almost every day of the year.  There are days he loves it more than others.

When my kids were done playing after college I asked if they ever felt owned by the game. I did when I played. Especially in summer ball when I sometimes woke up on Sunday wishing I could go to the beach with friends. Both said absolutely. And they would do it all over again.

@PitchingFan posted:

I know 2 at UT that quit college baseball over girlfriends and one will probably now be a 1st round draft pick and the other will be top 4 rounds I think.

Wait, what?

You mean quit the college team, but still going to be drafted?

Does a girlfriend make baseball "not fun"?  or is it just one other thing that a kid might pick (like robotics or friends or debate) instead of working on baseball?

It's not the same as Francis7's original question, which had more to do with bad coaches, losing, too much failure, etc.

We have 2 that quit either us or another team but then came back to baseball after girlfriends.  Both of these their girlfriends told them either baseball or me.  So yes they took the fun out of it.

I would love to share at some point a couple of stories of our guys.  We have the one who quit baseball and then started working for his home town and then coached a 13U team and seeing their joy got his love back.  The other guy is we have a kid completely blind in one eye who pitches.

@adbono posted:

I’m surprised that nobody has already mentioned this - pain. Pain makes the game no fun. Me and both my sons stopped playing because the amount of physical pain outweighed the fun of playing.

My son finished his college career in a doctor’s office. The ortho told him he could try to play his redshirt senior year with a decent chance he could injure himself worse and not walk properly the rest of his life. Or he could have the recommended (by two orthos) surgery in a couple of weeks.

With two degrees in five years (after that year) and an awesome job offer that summer he didn’t see any reason to apply for a medical redshirt and six years of college.

Scouts can ruin a baseball game.  They get into kids' heads and can affect outcomes. Sometimes their presence pressures the coach into playing particular players or their texts change the days that pitchers want to throw during the week.   I think there should be clear scouting contact guidelines, not just informal ones,  just as there are recruiting contact guidelines that specify when college coaches can contact players. I saw one scout talk to a pitcher for over three hours while the player was charting the first game (per his coach) prior to his own start in the second game of a doubleheader.   It shouldn't be allowed. 

At some point, baseball becomes a job. That happens at different levels for everybody and people have different reactions. And like any job, you love parts of it, and there's parts you don't want to mess with. The question is — do the parts you love outweigh the parts you don't? We had an MLB player in town who played into his 30s. The last year or so, he talked some about the pressure of staying in shape all the time, of being away from his family, etc. When he got released, he didn't pursue other opportunities. He still loves the game, he just didn't love playing it anymore.

That may happen when you're in third grade, high school, college or beyond. I just hope kids can keep loving the game, even if they don't love playing it anymore.

Iowamom made an interesting point. David Ortiz was questioned about retiring coming off a great season (.315/1.021-38-127).

Ortiz explained he’s forty. He was tired of what it took in the off-season to be ready for the next season. He was also tired of the way he felt when he woke up the next morning after games.

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