Just saw this topic, it is a good one.
Because of my age I have seen every type of coach imaginable. My favorite HS coach ever had a knack for getting the very most out of his players. He had a way to make practices and games enjoyable. He really didn't teach his players a lot, but he was big on repetitions. Every player that he coached left the program with a stronger love of the game. Players would do anything for him, but yet he never really pushed them. He once took a bunch of average to below average players and one a BIG School state championship.
I have seen a lot of outstanding HS coaches. The best ones are not identical to the other good ones. With my own kids I really never cared if the coach was going to teach them how to play. They already knew how to play, the coach needed to teach them what he wanted out of them.
I think winning is very important, but I don't think it is the most important thing. Most HS coaches don't recruit their own players. A good coach might be able to help develop players and he might win a few, but winning big is most often dependent on the players you can put out there. However, win or lose, good coaches put a team out there that knows how to act.
Bottom line... A young person's HS baseball experience is no different than anything else. It is a learning experience! They are suppose to learn something. If that isn't happening, you have a bad coach.
I think it is hard for coaches to get overly involved in recruiting. You might have a dozen kids that want to play at the next level. As much as you might love all those kids, you know some of them can't play at the next level or they can't play at the next level they want to play at. It's easy to talk to the Big DI program about your star player, but what do you say about the kid that wants DI but you the coach don't think he can play DIII? Those parents want, sometimes expect, you to help! It is a tough situation. I agree with others here, don't depend on your HS coach to find you a college. If you happen to be lucky enough to have a coach who does this, consider yourself very lucky. Just remember he can't perform miracles! He has his reputation at stake.