after high school I simply stayed out of his way
I did too, TR, until it became obvious that Bum, Jr was not going to have much opportunity to play at his chosen D1 after h.s.
I suggested he do a 4-2-4 transfer after his freshman year but instead he chose to stick it out. He ended up having to do a D1 to D1 transfer after his sophomore year, sitting out a year.
It worked out for him in the end but it could have been disasterous. Never been one to interfere but sometimes that's the role of a parent. Sometimes these kids, even at age 20-21, don't see things clearly. When you're in your 50's you've seen it all and you know a bad deal when it's happening.
I suggested he do a 4-2-4 transfer after his freshman year but instead he chose to stick it out. He ended up having to do a D1 to D1 transfer after his sophomore year, sitting out a year.
It worked out for him in the end but it could have been disasterous. Never been one to interfere but sometimes that's the role of a parent. Sometimes these kids, even at age 20-21, don't see things clearly. When you're in your 50's you've seen it all and you know a bad deal when it's happening.
quote:Originally posted by Bum:
Never been one to interfere but sometimes that's the role of a parent. Sometimes these kids, even at age 20-21, don't see things clearly. When you're in your 50's you've seen it all and you know a bad deal when it's happening.
I am glad you said this, because the same words from me might very well bring condemnation from a couple of my fans on this forum.
Some kids have it together better than others when it comes to maturity, both physical or emotional. My son is a great kid, but he is still a kid in many ways, trying to navigate his way growing into a young man. Now it would be easy to just say figure it out yourself, but if it does not get done, these last few years we as parents have influence must be used to give them every opportunity. For instance, I can honestly say that my son would not be at the school he is at now if not for my efforts on his behalf. Sure he is the one going to school and playing ball, but the journey to get him where he is at was not something he had the capacity to do at 17 years old.
So my efforts now to help prepare him for the next step, if there is to be one, is probably the last major effort baseball wise on my part. Lets face it, if our sons only have a finite number of years to develop and be seen to have a chance to get drafted, this is not the time to throw them into the pool and say sink or swim.
I think there is a huge difference between making suggestions and a parent trying to make things happen because they feel the need to be in control. There comes a time to let go and let your children be in control of their own lives. This has nothing to do with offering parental advice.
If your son wants to take the next step towards becoming a professional that has to come from him because if he can't make decisions for himself he wont survive at that level. He needs to make those decisions with the help of his coaches and of course with your suggestions as well. Of course if a problem arises than by all means he may need your help in making better decisions to help reach his goal.
If your son wants to take the next step towards becoming a professional that has to come from him because if he can't make decisions for himself he wont survive at that level. He needs to make those decisions with the help of his coaches and of course with your suggestions as well. Of course if a problem arises than by all means he may need your help in making better decisions to help reach his goal.
quote:Originally posted by Vector:
I can honestly say that my son would not be at the school he is at now if not for my efforts on his behalf.
If this be the case, is that because you liked the program and trusted the coaches to do right by your son?
I would only get involved if you feel that things are headed in the wrong direction (as did the case of Bum with Bum jr), if not let the reasons you sent him there take precedence over you feeling that you need to control the next step.
I think (in fact I am sure) that for most parents here whose sons have been through college, regardless of whether they went on to play professional ball or not, stayed in the background. As much as we helped son in HS, in college we had absolutely nothing to do in helping him move to the next level other than offer support and an ear when he needed to sound off.
You have already made one mistake (vacation instead of summer ball) so sit back and let them work things out with your son.
There are people here trying to help you to understand, if you see it as condemnation, that is your issue not ours.
quote:So my efforts now to help prepare him for the next step, if there is to be one, is probably the last major effort baseball wise on my part. Lets face it, if our sons only have a finite number of years to develop and be seen to have a chance to get drafted, this is not the time to throw them into the pool and say sink or swim.
Two thoughts come to mind in reading your last post, including this conclusion.
One question is how do you view the role of the college coaches, as contrasted with yours, as a parent? If your son is at his college and with those coaches, only, or largely due to your efforts, what do they say/did they say about the process of getting your son to the next level? Don't the college coaches have far more experience and ability to get your son to the next level than you? If you are the one who placed your son there, what guidance did you get from the coaches on the "steps" to take during college for your son to be drafted.
The other thought is an impression that you might be unwilling to let go, or struggling to do so, and perhaps are not seeing the reason your son isn't as mature is because you are not letting him and/or empowering him to do so. It sure isn't easy and when we are inside of it, it can be tough unless our son's stand up and strongly set some limits. Requiring your son to be on the family vacation as contrasted with going to where his coaches wanted him to play during the Summer comes across as an illustration. We will take our family vacation without him, rather than making where he is playing next Summer as part of "our"family vacation can come across as another.
Since you asked this question, those of us who post probably assume you want honest responses. Climbing inside Bum's post to suggest you are the victim of condemnation seems like a curious perspective. If you don't want honest views, thoughts and opinions, why ask the question?
quote:Originally posted by infielddad:quote:So my efforts now to help prepare him for the next step, if there is to be one, is probably the last major effort baseball wise on my part. Lets face it, if our sons only have a finite number of years to develop and be seen to have a chance to get drafted, this is not the time to throw them into the pool and say sink or swim.
Two thoughts come to mind in reading your last post, including this conclusion.
One question is how do you view the role of the college coaches, as contrasted with yours, as a parent? If your son is at his college and with those coaches, only, or largely due to your efforts, what do they say/did they say about the process of getting your son to the next level? Don't the college coaches have far more experience and ability to get your son to the next level than you? If you are the one who placed your son there, what guidance did you get from the coaches on the "steps" to take during college for your son to be drafted.
The other thought is an impression that you might be unwilling to let go, or struggling to do so, and perhaps are not seeing the reason your son isn't as mature is because you are not letting him and/or empowering him to do so. It sure isn't easy and when we are inside of it, it can be tough unless our son's stand up and strongly set some limits. Requiring your son to be on the family vacation as contrasted with going to where his coaches wanted him to play during the Summer comes across as an illustration. We will take our family vacation without him, rather than making where he is playing next Summer as part of "our"family vacation can come across as another.
Since you asked this question, those of us who post probably assume you want honest responses. Climbing inside Bum's post to suggest you are the victim of condemnation seems like a curious perspective. If you don't want honest views, thoughts and opinions, why ask the question?
Let me address the last part of your post first to get it out of the way since it is off topic.
I probably should not have thrown that comment in since my goal in this thread is just to get information, not open old wounds. Yet now that the horse is out of the barn and you asked, I will make the following observation.
The overwhelming majority of posters on this forum are helpful and pleasant. As when dealing with different people, especially in this medium, some just want to be negative/critical, not to help as much as be caustic. Sure they may be giving advice, but it comes from a condescending place.
The few I allude to go out of their way to look for things such as hidden meanings in comments, and feel it is their duty to be negative whenever possible. It is akin to a friend saying something and giving him a pass, where as someones else gets piled on for saying the same thing. Hence the Bum comment. It is childish and hypocritical, but we have a couple on this forum who do it regularly. I wonder if they are the same face to face in real life.
Anyway, I came to find out that it is not only me, as others have PM'd to say these few people have a reputation on the forum and do it to anyone not in their little clique. I have seen them do it to other new posters just as they did it to me. So there are times I want to express what is on my mind, but figure it is better left unsaid so those people do not have a reason to pounce. One was so bad I put them on my ignore list and only have the misfortune of reading their comments when others quote them in their post.
I can certainly take criticism, but I prefer it to be constructive rather than nasty.
Reading Bums comment spoke to me as something he could say that would be accepted, yet if I uttered the same thought, the clique would be quick to find fault.
So yes I want honest answers, but I do not need those nameless individuals to try and twist my words.
As to my overall comment about my son not being at his current school if not for my efforts, it should be something fairly easy to understand. Some kids are very mature for their age. Others are average, and still others are weak. My son is a good student, baseball player, and has a healthy social life. He can be self motivated but does better with structure. I know in the long run he will be fine, but right now his lack of maturity could cause him to miss out on opportunities.
What I do not understand is why some parents think the end of HS means a kid no longer needs guidance. Some parents take a hands off approach in HS, others after college. Just like the day turning 18 does not suddenly make you mature, neither does the end of HS when you are 16-17.
So since he did not do what seems to be the typical summer ball travel team circuit while in HS, not that many coaches had seen him. He is a very good pitcher, but he is not the type of kid who had coaches flying in to see him play HS ball. Had I not taken the initiative to get him exposed for the last 1 1/2, he would not have been seen by most of the colleges that were either interested or made offers. I suspect others have been in the same boat as well. So I am not sure why my comment did not speak for itself. Do most kids of parents here plan out their summers, finding out which showcases, college camps and tourneys offer the best exposure and bang for the buck?
If so, I doubt there would be as much traffic on this forum since parents would just leave everything up to their kids, and only write the check and say Godspeed.
So my comment was not to pat myself on the back, rather it was taking a pragmatic view of reality. That should not be hard to empathize with unless your son was in the category I spoke of earlier.
Moving on to your coaches question the answer is simple. I do not really get involved with the coaches at his college. Sure we have talked a couple of times, but it has been limited.
That said, lets face some facts. Not all coaches/programs are the same. We did not choose his school based solely on the best baseball program to get him to the next level. Instead it was a careful and well researched decision among the schools in the mix, of which one combined the best of all worlds. We may have over thought it based on trying to find the perfect fit, which is impossible when your choices are limited.
Sure enough the major weakness of the school has turned out to be the reason my son considered leaving after his freshman year, and will probably leave after this year.
My point is that this mid D1 is probably average in their coaching staff when compared to other programs. That is not to say they are not good coaches, but not all good coaches (HS or college), are necessarily the best at developing or getting kids to the next level.
The maturity issue is a chicken or egg type of situation. If he showed more maturity, it would be easier to let him do more on his own. He is also physically less mature than his peers by at least 1 year. That is due to his genetics as I grew almost two inches after HS. My old HS basketball coach said at my 10 year HS reunion, "where were those two extra inches when I needed them".
As to the family vacation issue, we had it planned for over a year. It was a trip that we actually put off in HS because we were behind the curve exposure wise. However once the tickets were bought and the plans made, it was too late to change them.
Frankly we were running out of time to take this once in a lifetime trip with him, and he certainly wanted to go as well(drinking age is 18 there)
Hopefully my words came across correctly, which I am not always the best at on the internet.
Vector,
I have posted on this site for close to 10 years. In that time, I can count on one hand the number of posters who remained for any period of time and did not give heartfelt opinions trying to convey information to benefit the players. For a long time, we were able to follow those journeys because posters seemed to be more open about their son and where he played. Sometimes it was a high and sometimes a low but boy could we share. That is less and less on the site.
Message boards can be tough because of some difficulties in message board communications. Message boards can be great because they open options we don't see and because folks can be frank in some views.
The site is all about players. When we make it about us, I think the players are not well served.
I have posted on this site for close to 10 years. In that time, I can count on one hand the number of posters who remained for any period of time and did not give heartfelt opinions trying to convey information to benefit the players. For a long time, we were able to follow those journeys because posters seemed to be more open about their son and where he played. Sometimes it was a high and sometimes a low but boy could we share. That is less and less on the site.
Message boards can be tough because of some difficulties in message board communications. Message boards can be great because they open options we don't see and because folks can be frank in some views.
The site is all about players. When we make it about us, I think the players are not well served.
Vector,
I don’t think there’s anything any of us could say at this point that would change your outlook on this. I do want to say however that I think you need to look no further than your own quote at the end of your posts for the answer.
You appear to be the person who points out your son’s “stumbles” where he “could have done them better.” You stated “I can honestly say that my son would not be at the school he is at now if not for my efforts on his behalf” whereas I would guess that “the credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena”, that is, your son on the field, even if you did take the initiative to get him exposure. What we’re all saying is you need to let go and let your son be the one “who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause.” He’ll need to be that person if professional baseball is in his future. And let him be the one that “if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” He will learn many life lessons and how to succeed on his own if you do.
You mentioned that this “is probably the last major effort baseball wise on my part.” So what happens when he like most others doesn’t play professionally and has to enter the workforce? Will your next “major effort” be to get him a job? Where does it end?
I think most of us have struggled in one way or another in letting go of our children no matter what path they took, myself included. I hope you take my comments in the helpful light they are being given, as food for thought, and not as “condemnation.” I wish you and your son the best.
I don’t think there’s anything any of us could say at this point that would change your outlook on this. I do want to say however that I think you need to look no further than your own quote at the end of your posts for the answer.
You appear to be the person who points out your son’s “stumbles” where he “could have done them better.” You stated “I can honestly say that my son would not be at the school he is at now if not for my efforts on his behalf” whereas I would guess that “the credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena”, that is, your son on the field, even if you did take the initiative to get him exposure. What we’re all saying is you need to let go and let your son be the one “who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause.” He’ll need to be that person if professional baseball is in his future. And let him be the one that “if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” He will learn many life lessons and how to succeed on his own if you do.
You mentioned that this “is probably the last major effort baseball wise on my part.” So what happens when he like most others doesn’t play professionally and has to enter the workforce? Will your next “major effort” be to get him a job? Where does it end?
I think most of us have struggled in one way or another in letting go of our children no matter what path they took, myself included. I hope you take my comments in the helpful light they are being given, as food for thought, and not as “condemnation.” I wish you and your son the best.
Good post lhrhp.
I am probably one of those people who Vector is speaking about being condescending. infielddad is correct, this is a message board, lots of folks with different personalities. I am tough and definetly opinionated, I admit it, so are others, maybe that's why many of our kids are successful (not necessarily in baseball) in life, because they had parents that didn't make excuses for them and helped them to enter adulthood by taking ownership in the process.
Vector, I don't hide behind a name and have never made it a secret of who my son is (see profile), who I am, where I live, etc. I have been here for a long time, and helped a lot of people. Every once in a while someone comes along that just doesn't get it, that's ok.
I don't care if you don't like me but here is one thing to think about. When you first came here with your dilemma (no D1 program that your son was interested in was interested in him) why not go back to look to see who were the ones who told you that your son should, based on the things that you told us (physical immaturity, lack of skills, initiative), attend a JUCO?
That wasn't good enough, that wasn't an option, that is what you said. Instead of doing what was best for your son's maturity and development (for baseball), seems like YOU got him in a situation the last minute and now it appears you are not happy.
This is the upteenth time that you have come looking for advice on helping your son get to "the next level", but you insist on picking and choosing the responses that suit your liking without even knowing the entire situation. You related to what Bum said, but do you know who Bum is or his son or what he did to get to the next level (pro)? What Bum did (spoke up to give his son encouragement and advice on making a change is probably what we all would have done) would have been done by any of us.
Because of that I realize that you have missed the points made by others that have tried to help you here often, even when you don't like how it is presented to you.
I am going to go on record to say that I told you that if your son was interested in attending a FL JUCO, that I would be happy to make suggestions as to contacts, and also urged you to attend the PG event in Jupiter via pm. But I said some things that you didn't like hearing, too bad.
I am sure that your son in a good ballplayer, there are hundreds of college players out there that are very, very good ball players, in fact excellent. But that does not mean the next level baseball will be an option for those hundreds of players wanting to go to the next level. I think that you feel that once he matures physically and emotionally then he will be more appealing to those that might want to pay him to play baseball for a living, but it just doesn't work that way. Do your homework.
If you find the above condescending or you think that I am condeming you, that's your problem because I don't have a dog in this fight, but I do know how hard one has to work to even try to make it, and that is coming from a parent of a very high draft pick.
Best of luck to your son.
I am probably one of those people who Vector is speaking about being condescending. infielddad is correct, this is a message board, lots of folks with different personalities. I am tough and definetly opinionated, I admit it, so are others, maybe that's why many of our kids are successful (not necessarily in baseball) in life, because they had parents that didn't make excuses for them and helped them to enter adulthood by taking ownership in the process.
Vector, I don't hide behind a name and have never made it a secret of who my son is (see profile), who I am, where I live, etc. I have been here for a long time, and helped a lot of people. Every once in a while someone comes along that just doesn't get it, that's ok.
I don't care if you don't like me but here is one thing to think about. When you first came here with your dilemma (no D1 program that your son was interested in was interested in him) why not go back to look to see who were the ones who told you that your son should, based on the things that you told us (physical immaturity, lack of skills, initiative), attend a JUCO?
That wasn't good enough, that wasn't an option, that is what you said. Instead of doing what was best for your son's maturity and development (for baseball), seems like YOU got him in a situation the last minute and now it appears you are not happy.
This is the upteenth time that you have come looking for advice on helping your son get to "the next level", but you insist on picking and choosing the responses that suit your liking without even knowing the entire situation. You related to what Bum said, but do you know who Bum is or his son or what he did to get to the next level (pro)? What Bum did (spoke up to give his son encouragement and advice on making a change is probably what we all would have done) would have been done by any of us.
Because of that I realize that you have missed the points made by others that have tried to help you here often, even when you don't like how it is presented to you.
I am going to go on record to say that I told you that if your son was interested in attending a FL JUCO, that I would be happy to make suggestions as to contacts, and also urged you to attend the PG event in Jupiter via pm. But I said some things that you didn't like hearing, too bad.
I am sure that your son in a good ballplayer, there are hundreds of college players out there that are very, very good ball players, in fact excellent. But that does not mean the next level baseball will be an option for those hundreds of players wanting to go to the next level. I think that you feel that once he matures physically and emotionally then he will be more appealing to those that might want to pay him to play baseball for a living, but it just doesn't work that way. Do your homework.
If you find the above condescending or you think that I am condeming you, that's your problem because I don't have a dog in this fight, but I do know how hard one has to work to even try to make it, and that is coming from a parent of a very high draft pick.
Best of luck to your son.
quote:Originally posted by lhprhp:
Vector,
I don’t think there’s anything any of us could say at this point that would change your outlook on this. I do want to say however that I think you need to look no further than your own quote at the end of your posts for the answer.
You appear to be the person who points out your son’s “stumbles” where he “could have done them better.” You stated “I can honestly say that my son would not be at the school he is at now if not for my efforts on his behalf” whereas I would guess that “the credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena”, that is, your son on the field, even if you did take the initiative to get him exposure. What we’re all saying is you need to let go and let your son be the one “who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause.” He’ll need to be that person if professional baseball is in his future. And let him be the one that “if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” He will learn many life lessons and how to succeed on his own if you do.
You mentioned that this “is probably the last major effort baseball wise on my part.” So what happens when he like most others doesn’t play professionally and has to enter the workforce? Will your next “major effort” be to get him a job? Where does it end?
I think most of us have struggled in one way or another in letting go of our children no matter what path they took, myself included. I hope you take my comments in the helpful light they are being given, as food for thought, and not as “condemnation.” I wish you and your son the best.
I obviously know the quote very well. I also know of the man who uttered those words very well.
Yes my son is in the arena, not I. He would be playing college ball somewhere based on his skill, it just wouldn't be at where he is now. I don't understand why that concept is so hard to get across. His ability was certainly what interested coaches in him, but his current school and some others would never have even heard of him had it not been for my efforts. This is not an opinion, it is a fact.
I don't say it to take any glory as it is up to him to earn that. However it does help to point out that if I left things up to him recruitment wise, he would somewhere other than where he currently is enrolled.
It is funny how parents who come on the site and make their kids out to be the next Babe Ruth are jumped on for being biased and homers. Yet in my case I can make a rational, unemotional assessment of my sons weakness, and it can be misinterpreted as me not adhering to my own beliefs/values.
As to what is ahead baseball wise, he needs to do the work and continue to develop to reach his full potential. However he might not realize how important doing certain things are, even at his ripe old age.
For instance it is not inconceivable that he could make emotionally immature decisions based on a girl, rather than what could further his baseball aspirations. Some might say those are the lessons he needs to learn the hard way. I say he has his whole life to stumble and get back up on his own in most aspects of life. However the clock is ticking for all our sons regarding opportunities to get drafted. So lets face it, if he misses the baseball train, there may never be another one to come along.
As to your intentions, I appreciate the post. I certainly was not referring to you with my observations about certain posters.
Vector-- You never know. He might really have a great year and want to stay where he is after this next season. I hope you and he are keeping everything positive, which could have an impact on his ability to open any future doors-- either at a new school or draft.
I have one of those kids with the summer birthday who will graduate HS at 17. He is quiet and most definitely wasn't proactive in his quest for an academic/baseball college. However, I think with an extra year he would have approached it the exact same way. I don't believe it is emotional immaturity, but rather his personality. He responded to questionnaires, emails, etc., and did what coaches requested. We did make sure he was playing on a good travel team, but that was about it. It seems to me based on posts in the past that your son is an exceptional student and has good skills as a pitcher. He doesn't necessarily sound emotionally immature, just maybe quiet and possibly reactive. His way may not be your way, but it might be ok. I hope he has a great season and he possibly discovers he is happy where he's at. I don't think anyone can count on the pitching coach making all of the difference for an athlete. If it's meant to be it will happen, and if not he will take another path and more than likely find success.
I do wish your son success this season. Would love to hear about it. I always enjoy when parents talk about their son's games. It has also been fun to follow the players I have come to know of. Would love to add your son to the mix.
I have one of those kids with the summer birthday who will graduate HS at 17. He is quiet and most definitely wasn't proactive in his quest for an academic/baseball college. However, I think with an extra year he would have approached it the exact same way. I don't believe it is emotional immaturity, but rather his personality. He responded to questionnaires, emails, etc., and did what coaches requested. We did make sure he was playing on a good travel team, but that was about it. It seems to me based on posts in the past that your son is an exceptional student and has good skills as a pitcher. He doesn't necessarily sound emotionally immature, just maybe quiet and possibly reactive. His way may not be your way, but it might be ok. I hope he has a great season and he possibly discovers he is happy where he's at. I don't think anyone can count on the pitching coach making all of the difference for an athlete. If it's meant to be it will happen, and if not he will take another path and more than likely find success.
I do wish your son success this season. Would love to hear about it. I always enjoy when parents talk about their son's games. It has also been fun to follow the players I have come to know of. Would love to add your son to the mix.
Vector, we all have different sons and different situations. What TRhit does, or Bum or infielddad, or TPM or I do with our sons has no bearing on what you do with yours. We all do what we feel is best for them.
I agree 100% about the maturity level of a player being a factor into how much we do or don't do. My son is a twenty year old junior who is just now starting to see what it takes to be really successful on the field and in the classroom. To get him to this point we (wife and I) had to do much more than some other parents with more mature players. There were a couple of times if we had stayed hands off he would not be playing now and his future would look much bleaker than it looks now. So IMO you do whatever you feel is best for your son as long as he needs and wants your help.
What I/we never did, however, was get involved between the lines. He was going to make his own way on the field. Wherever that leads we will follow.
I agree 100% about the maturity level of a player being a factor into how much we do or don't do. My son is a twenty year old junior who is just now starting to see what it takes to be really successful on the field and in the classroom. To get him to this point we (wife and I) had to do much more than some other parents with more mature players. There were a couple of times if we had stayed hands off he would not be playing now and his future would look much bleaker than it looks now. So IMO you do whatever you feel is best for your son as long as he needs and wants your help.
What I/we never did, however, was get involved between the lines. He was going to make his own way on the field. Wherever that leads we will follow.
Watch out for a good fit. While I would say 75% of college coaches mesh the best interests of the kids with the program, nonetheless these coaches are paid to win.
It's all sweetness and love during the recruiting process but brutal reality once you're in the program.
In Bum, Jr's case it was when they tried to take his curveball away -- his money pitch -- and had him throw a college slider that things went haywire. I didn't understand it at the time and still don't today. No complaints to the coach or bitching about it just move on.
It's all sweetness and love during the recruiting process but brutal reality once you're in the program.
In Bum, Jr's case it was when they tried to take his curveball away -- his money pitch -- and had him throw a college slider that things went haywire. I didn't understand it at the time and still don't today. No complaints to the coach or bitching about it just move on.
Thanks to both of you for positive, informative posts. Personality can very well be a contributing factor. He has an edge to him and is fiercely competitive. That said, self promotion and knowing what needs to be done to get schools looking at him was/is not his strong suit.
If he were a weak student or a goof off, I'd probably have thrown him in the pool and say swim. But since he is such a good kid and does whatever we ask of him, we have allowed him to concentrate on studies and have shouldered the burden of college to the extent that we can.
BTW - He is not unhappy with the school or baseball program, he just does not like the location and very limited things to do outside of school. He came from a very big city, and is now in a small, very rural town.
If he were a weak student or a goof off, I'd probably have thrown him in the pool and say swim. But since he is such a good kid and does whatever we ask of him, we have allowed him to concentrate on studies and have shouldered the burden of college to the extent that we can.
BTW - He is not unhappy with the school or baseball program, he just does not like the location and very limited things to do outside of school. He came from a very big city, and is now in a small, very rural town.
Be careful of paralysis by analysis. My suggestion for any player wanting to go to the next level is to simplify: Let your talent speak for itself.
quote:Originally posted by infielddad:
Vector,
I have posted on this site for close to 10 years. In that time, I can count on one hand the number of posters who remained for any period of time and did not give heartfelt opinions trying to convey information to benefit the players. For a long time, we were able to follow those journeys because posters seemed to be more open about their son and where he played. Sometimes it was a high and sometimes a low but boy could we share. That is less and less on the site.
.
Infielddad - YOU HAVE A PM
I tend to be more of a private person in general. I also do not go around tooting my sons horn so to speak. That is not to say others who reveal who their son is or where he is going to school are doing the wrong thing. I look at it more along the lines of what benefit will it serve. Still I was tempted to at least announce he made it to school XYZ, but a wise and trusted member of this forum suggested I may not want to initially inform the members on the forum where he was going.
Regardless, I see how the forum may have been more open in the past, and what benefit that served to the overall atmosphere as well.
Vector - I think what he meant by the forum being more open in the past wasn't about revealing who your son is or where he went to school...often relatively easy to figure that out including in your own son's case.
What he was talking about was that there once was a larger (than now) contingent of folks willing to share the ups and downs more openly in hopes of helping each other. That seems to not be nearly as true lately.
What he was talking about was that there once was a larger (than now) contingent of folks willing to share the ups and downs more openly in hopes of helping each other. That seems to not be nearly as true lately.
Vector,
You've received some very good insightful information and some that have been quite, well, I'll use the word - blunt. Nevertheless, I think most have had good intentions of what they were saying. There are cliques on here and I think that causes some posters to never say what they'd like on here because of fear of being called out or embarrassed. But don't ever let something like that stop you from seeking knowledge and information when it comes to your son. I've never for once those these cliques intentionally try to manipulate or thwart people. I really don't. I just believe that when you've been in part of a club for longer than most you get set in your ways and develop strong opinions! lol. I think you've handled yourself above reproach this entire post and you are to be applauded for it. Even under fire you held your stance without firing back with anger and cheap shots.
When I read your OP a few days ago I thought to myself that you haven't asked or sought out information that most of us parents on here haven't asked ourselves for our sons. Some of our son's have moved 1, 2, and even 3 times due to unforseen circumstance along the way. When life takes a hard right one must be prepared to make a decision on the next course that is best for their son as long as he is leading the charge. I agree with MANY who have said that sometimes allowing our sons to face adversity, trials, and hardships can sometimes be the stone in which they sharpen their character traits upon. Not everything can go easy for them and as parents we need them to learn the hard lesson's of life to prepare them better for down the road.
Is summer ball important for players to participate in? Yes. But is it the "be all, end all" to a player who doesn't play? Absolutely not. So he or you don't need to beat yourself up over not playing one bit. Enjoy your family time while he is young.
TPM is one of the oldies but goodies on here. She can be rather blunt in her approach sometimes but no one can ever say that she doesn't speak the truth. Her advise from an earlier post above was spot on:
"If your son wants to take the next step towards becoming a professional that has to come from him because if he can't make decisions for himself he wont survive at that level. He needs to make those decisions with the help of his coaches and of course with your suggestions as well. Of course if a problem arises than by all means he may need your help in making better decisions to help reach his goal."
It's up to your son deep down in his gut to figure out and decide if he truly WANTS to play at the next level. You remind me a lot of myself. I have for years sought out what it would take for my son to get to that level after college and even assisted him on some level. But there comes a time that it has to be on him and him alone.
I think most of us know there are basically 3 different "types" of ball players coming out of high school and based on these types will determine most of the time where they attend college, and their future after that depending on talent, coaches, injuries, academics, transfers, unforeseen circumstances, etc etc.
1 - Blue chip recruit who most of the time is recruited heavily and signs early in November. Sometimes drafted by MLB in June.
2 - Players who may garner interest, attend various showcases throughout the year, and with a good Senior year sometimes sign later in the year to a school sometimes not always where they desire but go nevertheless.
3 - Players who are decent players, may garner some interest, attend showcases throughout the year, and with/without parents help seek out colleges that they are interested in, and sometimes go to a school that just shows the most interest even when it's not the right fit.
I know these 3 above are not inclusive but they are generally close for most recruiting experiences, give or take a few exceptions. My son was a mixture of #2 and #3. He signed early in the fall of his senior year to a strong academic NAIA school. A program that at one time was a strong baseball program. Had he known the Senior season he was going to have and the new interest coming his way he would have waited. Once these new interests learned he had already committed they all backed away. Mutual respect for the school he had chosen. He attends this school for 1 semester and comes home a Christmas break not wanting to return and transfers to a local JUCO. Lack of maturity and being away from home were just a few of the reasons why. It happens. Many of the Posters on here had experienced the same roller coaster ride that my son had.
Like infielddad said, as long as you're here to be open and transparent about what your son is experiencing and learning along this new journey you will find most folks on here ready to rally around you and support you.
At the end of the day it really does come down to about 3 things for your son to play past college - desire, God-given talent, and determination. FloridaFan's son is a perfect example of these 3 qualities combined. You can't make him want these or make him magically possess these. It's on him Dad.
Good luck and I hope the best for your son this fall.
YGD
You've received some very good insightful information and some that have been quite, well, I'll use the word - blunt. Nevertheless, I think most have had good intentions of what they were saying. There are cliques on here and I think that causes some posters to never say what they'd like on here because of fear of being called out or embarrassed. But don't ever let something like that stop you from seeking knowledge and information when it comes to your son. I've never for once those these cliques intentionally try to manipulate or thwart people. I really don't. I just believe that when you've been in part of a club for longer than most you get set in your ways and develop strong opinions! lol. I think you've handled yourself above reproach this entire post and you are to be applauded for it. Even under fire you held your stance without firing back with anger and cheap shots.
When I read your OP a few days ago I thought to myself that you haven't asked or sought out information that most of us parents on here haven't asked ourselves for our sons. Some of our son's have moved 1, 2, and even 3 times due to unforseen circumstance along the way. When life takes a hard right one must be prepared to make a decision on the next course that is best for their son as long as he is leading the charge. I agree with MANY who have said that sometimes allowing our sons to face adversity, trials, and hardships can sometimes be the stone in which they sharpen their character traits upon. Not everything can go easy for them and as parents we need them to learn the hard lesson's of life to prepare them better for down the road.
Is summer ball important for players to participate in? Yes. But is it the "be all, end all" to a player who doesn't play? Absolutely not. So he or you don't need to beat yourself up over not playing one bit. Enjoy your family time while he is young.
TPM is one of the oldies but goodies on here. She can be rather blunt in her approach sometimes but no one can ever say that she doesn't speak the truth. Her advise from an earlier post above was spot on:
"If your son wants to take the next step towards becoming a professional that has to come from him because if he can't make decisions for himself he wont survive at that level. He needs to make those decisions with the help of his coaches and of course with your suggestions as well. Of course if a problem arises than by all means he may need your help in making better decisions to help reach his goal."
It's up to your son deep down in his gut to figure out and decide if he truly WANTS to play at the next level. You remind me a lot of myself. I have for years sought out what it would take for my son to get to that level after college and even assisted him on some level. But there comes a time that it has to be on him and him alone.
I think most of us know there are basically 3 different "types" of ball players coming out of high school and based on these types will determine most of the time where they attend college, and their future after that depending on talent, coaches, injuries, academics, transfers, unforeseen circumstances, etc etc.
1 - Blue chip recruit who most of the time is recruited heavily and signs early in November. Sometimes drafted by MLB in June.
2 - Players who may garner interest, attend various showcases throughout the year, and with a good Senior year sometimes sign later in the year to a school sometimes not always where they desire but go nevertheless.
3 - Players who are decent players, may garner some interest, attend showcases throughout the year, and with/without parents help seek out colleges that they are interested in, and sometimes go to a school that just shows the most interest even when it's not the right fit.
I know these 3 above are not inclusive but they are generally close for most recruiting experiences, give or take a few exceptions. My son was a mixture of #2 and #3. He signed early in the fall of his senior year to a strong academic NAIA school. A program that at one time was a strong baseball program. Had he known the Senior season he was going to have and the new interest coming his way he would have waited. Once these new interests learned he had already committed they all backed away. Mutual respect for the school he had chosen. He attends this school for 1 semester and comes home a Christmas break not wanting to return and transfers to a local JUCO. Lack of maturity and being away from home were just a few of the reasons why. It happens. Many of the Posters on here had experienced the same roller coaster ride that my son had.
Like infielddad said, as long as you're here to be open and transparent about what your son is experiencing and learning along this new journey you will find most folks on here ready to rally around you and support you.
At the end of the day it really does come down to about 3 things for your son to play past college - desire, God-given talent, and determination. FloridaFan's son is a perfect example of these 3 qualities combined. You can't make him want these or make him magically possess these. It's on him Dad.
Good luck and I hope the best for your son this fall.
YGD