what to do if coach had bad affect on son.

Ask your son if he wants to let this guy run him out of the game or if he wants to let his talent tell him when it's time to hang the spikes up. This is a good way to help determine the love of the game by your son - if he truly loves the game he will learn how to deal with the coach. Basically hear the message being said but don't listen to how it's delivered.

I'm getting the impression (please forgive me if I'm wrong) that this is the first time your son has experienced adversity in baseball. He's played the game so long where he got along with the coach but now that he's run into something that's unfamiliar or he's uncomfortable with he wants to run away. If I am correct this is a precedent both of you want to avoid. If he runs here he will probably end up running in the future. Make him realize that he plays the game because he loves it and nobody can take that away from him. He needs to learn this lesson now because when he gets into the real world he may have a boss who's a jerk - what's he going to do then?

He won't play for this coach forever and it's probably just going to be for this season. Once this season is over he's done with him so he ccan suck it up until then.

That's good that you don't criticize the coach in front of him because that will never lead to anything positive. Just be a positive influence with him and make him understand this isn't the end of the world. Plus let him know this is an adversity he can overcome - it creates a winning attitude.

As kids grow up and begin to play ball without the comfort zone this will happen--there will be coaches, both head and assistant coaches that he won't get along with--in the work force he will have co-workers and bosses he doesn't like or not get along with--this is all part of the growing up process---and there is usually two sides to every one of these stories

A few things here:

Is your son the only player on the team being treated this way?

Are you at the scrimmages and practices to see all this?

One thing worse than a coach yelling at you is him not saying anything at all... Sounds like he is getting opportunities, just not under the best of conditions. As many have said earlier, welcome to real life.

Many coaches will tell you that if they are not getting on you they have not noticed you

Coaches can be that way, but take what they say like a grain of sand. Just try to get the content out of it and block out the rest of what he says.

Ignore the volume that the coach is using and focus on playing, having fun, and being with his friends. Like coach2709 said he will probably only have to deal with him for a season.

quote:

Originally posted by Bas3balldad:

The only time my son looked frustrated was when the ball grazed his foot and the ump called it a strike so with 2 strikes he swung at the next pitch and struck out. Showed some frustration but he didn't throw anything so thats progress.

Sounds like to me that your son has a bit of maturing to do, and sometimes in that case, coaches are on those players like white on rice.

Stop worrying, your son is playing, much more than some others kids get to do.

Have fun and enjoy instead of worrying about it, the coach and your son will work it out.

quote:

Originally posted by Bas3balldad....
Now his father just needs to learn to relax.

And when you learn how to do that, teach the rest of us !

Trust me--relaxing is not that difficult--just keep in mind that you have no control over what is happening with your son on the field

TR,
Parents have a heck of a lot of control on what happens on the field. How many times have you seen a player ignore the coach or not learn a thing from him? A lot of the time the problem is attitude and that is often a product of what the kid hears at home. Parents have a heck of a lot more control on what happens on the field than coaches think.

No offense, but your kid would not be in my lineup much longer if he was throwing stuff in the dugout. That description does not come across as a nice, mild mannered boy being treated unfairly by a coach.

Although, he may be being treated unfairly.

It might be time to let it go Bas3balldad

Baseballdad not sure if you are going to get this or not but hopefully you will. I got a feeling that all of this is a bigger issue to you than it should be. I've reread through this whole thread and noticed somthing. You said the coach was telling him to move around in the OF even when the ball wasn't being hit to him. If what I'm thinking is correct then all the coach is doing is positioning your son according to pitch / location. If the dugout is calling pitches and they know it's going to be a fastball outside and the batter struggles to hit fastballs then he's going to be late on the pitch. So he's going to typically hit to the backside so you want to shade the OF to the backside.

If this is correct and you are getting upset over this then you are going to be miserable during a time period when you should be enjoying your son playing a simple game. If I'm not reading this correctly then I apologize.

Another thing if this coach is hard on your son then what does he do when your son throws things in the dugout? If he's a hard rearend over some things I doubt he's going to let things being thrown in the dugout go.

Just relax and let your son handle this. Support him and tell him there will be a better day sometime soon. The game is bigger than your son, this coach and you. Because of this things have a tendency to work themselves out. Let your son learn how to deal with conditions that are not optimal instead of pouting and quitting or whatever else may be going on. This is a fun time in your life because you can watch your son enjoy a game. Pretty soon he will be out of the house and he will have the same worries and problems that you had. Let him enjoy the journey that is baseball.

Bas3Balldad

I think you are getting where you need to be

Enjoy

I agree with TR - your last post shows you are getting there. Trust me I know a lot of parents who would love to have a son like yours.

Hey Bas3balldad,
I know where you are coming from. We dealt with many of the same issues last year. There was lots of "daddy-ball" going on, with special treatment given to one of the coaches son. He was a terrible player and had no talent for the game. He couldn't keep a ball in his mitt, couldn't run fast, and was always an out at bat. I believe his mid-season batting average was 0.086. But, he was on the team b/c his dad "volunteered" to coach. This boy was allowed to throw his helmet and bat inside the dugout after striking out--without any consequences. Several of the other players, my son included, were treated very poorly. They were yelled at for not "trying" hard enough... The list goes on and on. It was a very difficult season for all of us. However, my husband and I decided to use it as a learning experience. Instead of quitting the team, we coached our son to keep his head up and concentrate on the game. To focus on his skills and not let the coach get into his head. We walked away from this season as "winners". We taught our son that life is not fair. That his life will be full of coaches and bosses that play the favorites game and give special treatment to undeserving people. But, it is how you treat yourself, believe in yourself, that matters. It was a hard lesson to teach a 13 year old, but now, he is better for it and knows how to showcase his skills and be self-confident. Needless to say, we did not return to that team, but were fortunate to find a team with a set of coaches that teach and not yell. Best of luck to you and your son. You are lucky to have him and he is lucky to have a dad so concerned about his well-being.

You are not getting better if you keep posting that the son is better than others--"there are not 6 pitchers better on the team maybe not even 2"

I look at it this way, and I run a travel program:

I read your posts and I say to myself--Do I want him in stands during our games? Does he second guess all the time? Does he talk to team parents like he posts?

Not my cup of tea and it hurts your sons chances--perhaps your chatter is getting back to the coaches

Assuming all this is straightforward and true, encourage your son to focus on those things he CAN control.

As in, work hard and be ready when your chance comes. He may well be # 7 on the depth chart, but if the others are as weak as you say, at some point he'll be in a game or two. And if he gets them out, he'll move up the depth chart.

If he doesn't, he won't. So, the challenge is on him. Be ready at all times because when you're in the bullpen you never know when your chance will come. If you blow it, you may not get another chance.

Being ready means doing everything right every day. Eat right, get sufficient sleep, work out and practice with purpose, comport yourself as a model teammate at all times.

It's a long way from JV to the end of high school. He wouldn't be the first kid to open some eyes and move way up the ladder before his time was done. He also wouldn't be the first to muff the chance through focusing on grousing and blaming instead of his own responsibilities. Right now, he just needs to decide which of those forks in the road he wants to take.

quote:

perhaps your chatter is getting back to the coaches

I've seen situations where the parents of players competing for positions make sure the chatter gets back to the coach.

quote:

Originally posted by Bas3balldad:
I've been telling to not let it bother him but talking to other parents it appears he has a reputation for this.

You posted the above in your original post, yet you say that no one talks to you and you have no friends.

Just a suggestion, you seem to be a bit paranoid, relax and enjoy your son's HS year, no matter who he playes for, no matter which position.

FWIW, in any circumstances, even on a message board, even if your son IS better, never put your son's team mates down, because that tells a whole oput abut YOUR personality as an individual and as a parent. It's ok to vent, but you won't get much support if you speak against young players.

The original OP can always delete their own topic, go back to the original post, press edit and then when the box pops up, scroll down and then delete.

i went through something similar this year. i got angry, sad, resentful, ambivilant, and everything in between. none of it helped to say the least. i didnt even notice how badly i was reacting until someone else pointed it out. it is one more season and your coach will be gone. if he really is giving your son the short end of the stick, talk to him then go above his head and see if things can be resolved. the one thing you cannot do though is get mad and be ****ed off at the world because that body language will look bad. (i found out the hard way)

and dont EVER let someone decide whether you should play again or not. if you dont want to play, thats one thing. if the coach has a play in this, keep playing because he is just one person.

if he is messing up your kid's hitting something my summer coach told me m ay help you- if it helps then great, it might feel a little akward at first b ut it might make you hit better. if you feel that it is making you worse, tell the coach to pound sand and go back to your old mechanics. obviously you dotn want to say anything rude to your coach, but it it doest make it better, g back to the way you used to do it.

and as for the throwing of helmets and such, there was a kid from a local highschool whom was an amazing hitter, he could hit for power to all parts of the park and had just great vision, anyway he was being scouted by colleges and mlb orgonizations alike.he was having a bad night one game , went 0-4 or something and got mad. after striking out his 4th at bat, he whipped his helmet across the dugout. this may not seem so bad, but a scout for tampa bay was sitting right there and herd him cuss and throw his helmet. he ended up losing his college offers besides a couple juco's and is not assosiated with any mlb orgonization right now. you never know who is watching

hope this helps and hope your son stays with the amazing game of baseball

Does the coach have a son on the team-is that why he is moving up? Will he be the Varsity coach next yr? Make sure he is playing elsewhere also. This will get him with better coaches and improve his game. He has to be so good that the "jerk" coach has no choice really than to use him-they want to win you see. Also make sure your son is not too thin-skinned. He will come upon teachers,esp. in college that are tough too. There is a difference between being tough in a good way and being a jerk.Also, being in outfield is not a punishment. Outfield is a difficult positon to play. Saw a kid recently miss two out there and other team scored both times. Maybe your son was moved there to help out. Have him work to be the best outfielder the team has. It's all about making yourself a commodity on a team. Your marketing yourself as a player who has a lot to offer and contribute.