LHPMom – I am sure by now you are feeling picked on, including by me. Hang in there!
But now, I wish to offer a little more helpful response.
The feelings your husband has are not unusual. Especially for a parent who feels he understands the game and/or has coached his son and achieved success. In one way or another, most of us have ‘
been-there, done-that.’
These feelings don’t necessarily end in HS JV ball, HS varsity ball or even college ball if your son is lucky enough to get to that level. As a parent, we often question what we see if it doesn’t line up with our evaluation or our own way of doing things.
These are reasons that you’ll read from parents on here, who have been through all of this, things like: ‘relax,’ ‘find a seat down the line,’ ‘let go,’ ‘keep your words to yourself’ and ‘don’t attend practice.’
We know acting a whole lot differently doesn’t bear a whole lot of fruit!
There is not one way to execute a rundown, lay down a bunt, throw a fastball or to hit. There is simply no way to agree with everything you see
even in a major league game. True, when it is our sons, we (feel we) have way more at stake and our microscopes get turned up ten notches. But you gotta realize this is how we parents react and realize that in large part you need to get out of the way and let your son grow up without mom or dad holding their hands every step of the way.
Think about it in a manner similar to a math, science or english teacher. For the most part, we parents let those teachers do their thing…totally agree? or disagree?…we let them run their classroom the way they want to run it without near the interjection we (want to) offer in baseball.
Yes, we step in if we see signs of abuse, gross incompetence…or other gigantic red flags. But we don’t observe their classroom usually…we don’t look for debriefs every night and when we disagree with a teaching method, we don't offer near the criticism nor use bad names…and never in front of sons or daughters.
You are entering a time of your son’s life that is critically important to his growth, his ability to fend for himself and to the relationship you and your husband will have with him long term. Ask yourself how you want that to pan out. Do you want to solve problems for him when he gets to college?...when he's 25? What do you want him to remember about HS baseball? That his parents attended his HS games and cheered for him and his teammates like crazy? Or that his parents thought his HS coach was a knucklehead?
I think, even if his coach is in fact a knucklehead, you might want to consider skipping that thought with him (minus a
serious knucklehead problem) and focus on his team’s performance, his own performance…how great they did or how your son could do this-or-that to help his team get better. And advising your son about how to be a good cheerleader is a lot more productive for all involved than advising him that his coach is wrong.
Good luck! Have fun and have a great season!
