What would you do?

If anyone gts involved it should be his parents or the coaches. It's not your place. A close teammate could have a talk with the player. But you shouldn't be driving that conversation. Dont talk about the kid with other parents unless you are 100% you are right. Otherwise it's a rumor.

I got involved in one of these situations with a friend's son. I lost a friend. The kid ultimately got busted in high school as one of the biggest drug dealers on campus. The only control I had was telling my son if seen with this kid he would be grounded.

The dad's first sign should have been his son gave up sports to hang in the basement all the time playing his guitar. There's nothing wrong with guitar. But an athlete dropping sports like a rock and hanging out should be a sign to take a look at the situation.

The kid cleaned up his act, got involved with a couple of high school intramural sports and recorded a very good CD. He's now at a music college majoring in composition.

Teasmmates have asked him. He goes stone faced and says none of your business. Our school has a random drug testing for athletes. It would only take one phone call.

quote:

Originally posted by Doughnutman:
Teasmmates have asked him. He goes stone faced and says none of your business. Our school has a random drug testing for athletes. It would only take one phone call.

If you're wrong or the kid beats the test, you're a jerk.

Right now I wouldn't mind being a jerk. If I am right I might save the kid from cancer or all of the other lovely side effects associated with performance enhancing drugs including violence and suicide.

Being a jerk seems OK with me.

Does your son believe that this kid is on something? If he does honestly believe something is going on with this kid then he needs to say something to the coach. Don't have the kid talk to the other kid because let's face it - it won't lead to any kind of solution. The other kid will deny it or just flat out lie about the sitaution. Not a chance in the world will he stop just because a buddy asked him.

If your school has random drug tests then a phone call won't solve anything. You can't actively pick who you want to test or hide a guy you want tested in a group of good kids.

Your son can go to the coach and express his concerns of what he thinks is going on. If the coach listens then hopefully a good outcome happens. If the coach doesn't listen then you know what kind of guy he is - a clown. He can hide what your son is telling him by keeping it quiet and address it that way.

I probably would keep this to myself unless there was further evidence, or my son said something to me about it and he was willing to go to the coach. Ultimately (IMHO) it is your son's choice because he is the one that would have to deal with the consequences if this backfires with the other player or the coach.

Donutman, if you are right and do nothing and this young man hurts himself or worse how would you feel? No brainer in my book.

A few years back I listened to a man talk about his son's perfomance enhancing drug use that he did not know about. He was talking to a group of athletes and their parents. The young man did commit suicide on the down cycle of the drugs, I am urse his parents wished they knew or if someone else knew would have stepped up to the plate and helped.

I think if you approach it as a concerned parent trying to help someone you will be doing the right thing.

Please do not take this the wrong way, but most adults don't do things (tell on kids) because they feel it is the right thing to do. It often isn't perceived that way by most directly involved.

If you are getting this information from your son, then he and his teammates need to go speak with the coach, asap.

quote:

Originally posted by Doughnutman:
There is a kid on my sons team who looks like he is taking something. It is pretty obvious. Do you say something? Do you not worry about it because it isn't your kid? Do you encourage it because it will help your team? Any other options? My first reaction is that it isn't my kid so it isn't my problem but that answer is starting to weigh on me.

The Parents and the Coach have the responsibility to deal with this. Jumping in, when you are uninvited and unwanted, is rarely looked upon with favor although good people always feel guilty for not doing so.

quote:

Originally posted by Doughnutman:
There is a kid on my sons team who looks like he is taking something. It is pretty obvious.

Wouldn't it be more obvious to the coaches?

The coaches don't teach at the school and the kid hasn't been to any after school workouts. I don't think they will see him until Jan. Guess I can just wait till they do see him.

On the random drug tests. They are "random". They only seem to pick football and swim team guys. My son was the only baseball player picked for it last year and he plays football. A parent can ask for their kid to be tested. If they tested the band or student gov we wouldn't have either left at the school.

looks like and obvious are quite different be careful where you walk

Doughnutman,
Have you seen him?

Until you can prove otherwise (someone saw him do something) you are throwing this kid under the bus by posting here.

Based on what you have said, I might (as someone else) question your motives. Is it because you really have true concerns?

TPM,
I have seen him. And how do yo throw someone under the bus if nothing is named except Phoenix AZ? The kid does not play my sons position or bat in the same place. The only outcome is that it will make our team stronger if he is doing something.

Just concern for a kid is all. If I didn't notice my son was doing something I would want someone to tell me.

Doughnutman, Sadly this is the society we live in where motives are constantly questioned! Your post sounds truly sincere to me.

What is your relationship with this boys parents? It is certainly the more difficult route to take but all I can tell you is that as a parent I would be very grateful if someone came to me to mention a concern.

I think it has to be done directly though or not at all as indirectly gives people reasons to question your motives but a simple, Hey I don't know you very well but I have noticed how big Junior is getting. I am sure he is fine and I am not accusing him of anything I just wanted to be sure he was okay and doing it the right way.

Good luck and it's nice that you care.

quote:

Originally posted by Doughnutman:
TPM,
I have seen him. And how do yo throw someone under the bus if nothing is named except Phoenix AZ? The kid does not play my sons position or bat in the same place. The only outcome is that it will make our team stronger if he is doing something.

Just concern for a kid is all. If I didn't notice my son was doing something I would want someone to tell me.

The only outcome is that if he is then it might affect your son's teams record.

Still, the point is that you do not know 100%, if the kids believe something is going on, they need to go to the coach as a group. If you did have a relationship with the parents then that's good, but if not, it is not for you to handle directly, don't go there, just my advice.

FWIW, my player is out in AZ, team is Peoria, he likes it out there. Not sure if you get a chance to go to the games with your son, but there is LOTS of prospects out there this year, would give your son an idea (and yourself) of what scouts see in players and why they are drafted.

TPM, Is he playing at the Peoria Sports Complex? They have a great fall schedule in Phoenix. If you have a link to his schedule I would love to check it out.

Donutman: My brother in southern California saw what he perceived to be signs of alcohol abuse in a friend's son. Not wanting to lose a friend who might not believe him, or feeling like a jerk, he kept it to himself.

Six months later, on prom night, the young man was killed in a auto accident. Blood tests indicated near toxic levels of alcohol.

That was 17 years ago. My brother still tells me he would trade feeling like a jerk and losing a friend for that young man's life if he could.

Personally, I wouldn't take advice on this from anyone on the internet, regardless of their position. Without using names, speak to your pastor or a school counselor. Good luck.

quote:

Originally posted by Doughnutman:
TPM, Is he playing at the Peoria Sports Complex? They have a great fall schedule in Phoenix. If you have a link to his schedule I would love to check it out.

Check out the Arizona Fall League Schedule, just a few more weeks left.

Anyone living in that area with young players should be out to watch games as often as they can. Many of these players are the future stars of tomorrow. CD's player is out there as well.

Donutman -- TPM is dead wrong! He writes about "questioning your motives" in an attempt to be controversial (he frequently does this on this board). I think you know the right course of action and are just looking for confirmation. Do the right thing and go talk to the coach. The kid and the kid's family will thank you one day.

quote:

Originally posted by Nuke:
Donutman -- TPM is dead wrong! He writes about "questioning your motives" in an attempt to be controversial (he frequently does this on this board). I think you know the right course of action and are just looking for confirmation. Do the right thing and go talk to the coach. The kid and the kid's family will thank you one day.

He is a she.
I pointed out that I or someone might not understand the motive, I have known DM for a long time, it wasn't meant to mean or controversial. My opinion is that unless you have 100% proof, be careful what you say and who you say it too, that includes something on a message board.

Looking different and not responding to questions asked doesn't mean something is wrong.

I will repeat again, have son and his teammates go to the coach.

It appears to me none of this kid's actions have occurred during any commitment or activity involving baseball. Why would it be a baseball parent's responsibility to get involved based on the word of someone else?

TPM isn't just an "Old Timer." She's a tenured Board Mama!

Unless you have a personal relationship with the player's family I think you should not get involved. I really don't think it is the business of a parent of another player to insert himself into something you THINK might be going on. This particular kid hasn't even stepped onto the field yet.

Should you say something to an authority every time you suspect a kid is up to something?

This story brings back an emotional one I personally experienced back in 80's.

I had a teammate that we suspected during the season of being on something also. Upon returning to school after summer it was certain that he was using some sort of performance enhancing drug. We jokingly asked him if he was on the juice. He dismissed our inquiring by telling us we were full of it.
That fall during a meeting I mentioned to one of the coaches that our star player may be on something. The coaches asked me to confirm my accusations, which I had none due to the fact never witnessing him taking them. The only thing I could go on was that I had several friends that were in the bodybuilding scene and he looked a lot like some of them. He was never tested and finished out his season before transferring to a university.

Seven years ago I received a phone call from him, he said that the rumors of him using were true and that he continued to use in college and into minor league ball. After several years of injuries he left the game and became a fireman, a husband and father.

Earlier in 2004 he found out that he had testicular cancer and a tumor that he believes was caused by his anabolic steroid use. He said he never thought it would hurt him down the road and now he might not see his daughter get married.

I received a phone call two years later from his wife saying that he had passed, two months before his daughter married. I spent the next several days talking to my son who was about to embark on his journey into HS athletics on the responsibility of choices, drugs, alcohol, friends, family and most importantly God.

I would let the coaches handle it. If its noticeable to you it will be to them also. Coaches now are instructed to see the signs of steroid use and report it, for the sake of the child.

Many of the kids take a lot of the over the counter stuff from GNC and work hard in the weight room and do put on a lot of mass and develop a cut look.

To answer your question as honestly as I can, if I was in your shoes I don't know what I'd do....

I guess I wil just let the coaches handle it and hope for the best. But I have seen the kid and he has put on at least 20 pounds of muscle since June. He stopped growing about 5 years ago.

quote:

Originally posted by Doughnutman:
But I have seen the kid and he has put on at least 20 pounds of muscle since June.

hmmm... my kid put on almost 20 pounds since the end of July going to a gym/trainer, and eating 4-6 meals a day. I better turn him in.

I don't think 20 pounds over a few months for a HS kid is unusual.

Now, the QB at our neighboring school that gained 40... that's another story.

I am really tired of defending myself so this is my last post on the subject. Here is the entire story.

First, he is not in competiton with my son. Different positions, different places in the line up. Kid is small. I have known him because my son has played against and with him for 5 years. He has been working out hard for 3 years with proper nutrition and various supplements including Creatine that he proudly showed everyone and was 155 tops last june. He reached puberty many years ago and hasn't grown an inch in 5 years. He is at least 175 now, maybe 185, I didn't have a scale with me. He works out with my son and other ball players at school and at the gym. He has started going to the bathroom stall before and after every workout with a gym bag that he locks up afterwards. He will not tell anyone what he is doing when asked. He isn't just cut, he is puffy. He looks like the guys I knew back in the day who were using PED's for football. This isn't just some jealous Dad who is worried about his son getting replaced. If it wasn't a legit concern I would never bring it up. Do I know for sure? Heck no. How would I know 100% unless I sold him the stuff?

Thanks for the advice to most of you and I am completely finished on this subject.

This may be off topic but how much are steroids??? are they that cheap that HS kids can afford them? needles?

quote:

Originally posted by Doughnutman:
I guess I wil just let the coaches handle it and hope for the best. But I have seen the kid and he has put on at least 20 pounds of muscle since June. He stopped growing about 5 years ago.

Some kids grow up, then stop growing and fill out much later. My son was 5'11", 135 then gained 25 pounds in five months eating like a hound, drinking protein shakes and hitting the weight room. He heard the roids accusations. He grew 6'1" the next year. Two years later he's starting growing again. We knew his growth plates weren't closed even though he stopped growing for a while. What do you know about the kid in your story.

quote:

Originally posted by Nuke:
Donutman -- TPM is dead wrong! He writes about "questioning your motives" in an attempt to be controversial (he frequently does this on this board).

Nuke, you were right the first time.
and are correct in the suggestion offered.

quote:

Originally posted by Doughnutman:
Teasmmates have asked him. He goes stone faced and says none of your business. ...

...I have seen the kid and he has put on at least 20 pounds of muscle since June. He stopped growing about 5 years ago.

...He has started going to the bathroom stall before and after every workout with a gym bag that he locks up afterwards. He will not tell anyone what he is doing when asked. He isn't just cut, he is puffy. He looks like the guys I knew back in the day who were using PED's for football...

Cumulatively, this seems like a lot of information that is very concerning. There are many posters on this thread who I respect and usually agree with but I'm on the other side on this one. If I'm the dad of the boy in question, I would hope some "jerk" came to me to make sure I am aware of this information. If, somehow, it's all a misunderstanding, I don't mind having to clear that up. I still appreciate the concern and the information when we're talking about a potentially life/health threatening issue. It sounds like the coaches are not in the picture at this time and my assumption is that the parent/s are not aware.

I don't think there is a possibility that there could be an issue, but it's more about how to handle the situation. There is an assumption made based on some second hand info, which wasn't even supplied until later.

I think if one has a situation, why not present all of the facts?

I think there were some good suggestions, they just weren't to the OP's liking. Not everyone is going to agree on how to go about finding a solution that could or could not be a problem.

quote:

Originally posted by njbb:

This may be off topic but how much are steroids??? are they that cheap that HS kids can afford them? needles?

The price of steroids varies depending on the type of substance, the source by which it is retrieved, and the way the substance is entered into the body. However there are certain banned substances that are in the price range of some high school students.

I think many people would be surprised at how easy it is to obtain these substances for amateur athletes. It is scary how in depth some of the underground organization that occurs is.