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19 replies

What would you say?

N nobraggers10+ posts
I was asked the other day, "If you could say one thing to your son's high school coach, and there would no consequences to your son, what would you say?"

My answer...Some positions are just not working, changes need to be made...give everyone a fair chance. Then I would listen to his reply, and that would be it. It is what it is. But, it would sure be nice to be able to speak your mind, at least once wouldn't it?

Of course, this is all hypothetical, and we (parents) know not to say anything to the coach. So, thought it would be therapeutic to post on here. I'm sure I will get bashed, but it might be some fun reading!
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M Mustangs201510+ posts
nobraggers, I certainly understand the idea and the emotion behind your post.

I have sat in the stands as recently as this weekend (and not for the first time) and had the same feeling.

My personal opinion is that all athletes will end their career due to one of two reasons: One, someone will tell them they are not good enough to play at the next level. Two, they will not be willing to put forth the effort and work to play at the next level.

Neither of those two outcomes are related to my opinion as a parent.

I have a junior basketball player who has been on varsity for two years. I still get frustrated at playing time decisions. However, if my hoopster goes on to play in college, it is up to her. All I can do is support her efforts. She is either not good enough to overcome her coache's opinion or not willing to work through the challenge.

I have a freshman baseball/basketballer who pitched an inning and had one AB in 4 games last weekend. Do I agree with the coaches decisions? No. I know most of the kids on the team and (of course!) think mine should be in the lineup. If the coach did not play him, then it is up to my son to prove he should be in the lineup.

Every year gets more competitive. Every year will also bring challenges for my kids to over come. Every year that goes by, the more it becomes about them and what they are willing to work to overcome.

In short, me and momma just try to remind ourselves to enjoy watching our kids and recognize the life lessons they are learning. We don't have to agree with the coaches, we just have to support our kids.

Not bashing, I understand where you are coming from. The game will teach us all lessons if we are willing to accept them.
Ken GuthrieKen Guthrie1,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by Mustangs2015:
nobraggers, I certainly understand the idea and the emotion behind your post.

I have sat in the stands as recently as this weekend (and not for the first time) and had the same feeling.

My personal opinion is that all athletes will end their career due to one of two reasons: One, someone will tell them they are not good enough to play at the next level. Two, they will not be willing to put forth the effort and work to play at the next level.

Neither of those two outcomes are related to my opinion as a parent.

I have a junior basketball player who has been on varsity for two years. I still get frustrated at playing time decisions. However, if my hoopster goes on to play in college, it is up to her. All I can do is support her efforts. She is either not good enough to overcome her coache's opinion or not willing to work through the challenge.

I have a freshman baseball/basketballer who pitched an inning and had one AB in 4 games last weekend. Do I agree with the coaches decisions? No. I know most of the kids on the team and (of course!) think mine should be in the lineup. If the coach did not play him, then it is up to my son to prove he should be in the lineup.

Every year gets more competitive. Every year will also bring challenges for my kids to over come. Every year that goes by, the more it becomes about them and what they are willing to work to overcome.

In short, me and momma just try to remind ourselves to enjoy watching our kids and recognize the life lessons they are learning. We don't have to agree with the coaches, we just have to support our kids.

Not bashing, I understand where you are coming from. The game will teach us all lessons if we are willing to accept them.


The best post I've ever read on here.

Congrats on "getting it".

Your children will benefit from it!
N nobraggers10+ posts
Mustang - Yes great post! As stated before, just hypothetical question. At some point, everyone wishes they could say something.

I do get it, and have learned lessons every year, and will continue to learn as long as he plays.

GunEmDown10---I love what you said, be invisible to everyone else there but to him. I am invisible to everyone at the games, as I never say anything...but in my head. Lesson learned on here.

Thanks for the great posts.
mj 8mj 8100+ posts
Mustang2015,
your opinion is right on the money.
My wife and I want to see our son on the field more frequently. I often explain to her, he must start performing to a level that forces the coach to include him in the lineup. Become a beast at the plate. He has the potential, but he has not flipped that mental switch yet. It's all up to him. He's seeing fewer plate appearances now, which puts more pressure on the ones he gets. More appearances might help, but he's had his shots leading up till now, like the other players. Other players have displayed success more often, therefore they will start. It's that simple.
K KellerDad1,000+ posts
When my son graduated in 2007, the longest conversation I had up until that point with his head coach was "Nice day for a ballgame Coach"

The year after he graduated I was missing watching the game, went to a fall game where the Head Coach was sitting in the Football parking lot watching from his pickup. I never made it to the stands, I had a two hour conversation with him.

Really a nice conversation that covered a lot of what had happened in the past three years. Maybe one day you will get your chance.
GB Great Bambino10+ posts
There is always a reason a coach plays who he plays. Coaches evaluate not only games, but practice, classroom behavior, how they are with their teammates and then make the best decision they can. Its impossible to please everyone.

Maybe coaches should come to the parents cubicles and rip the A$5 for the poor job they did with the weekly memo. Just saying Smile
J JMartin10+ posts
Mustangs a "#3" reason:

"More players never reach thier overall potential due to lack of proper instruction rather than lack of ability."

-Rod Dedeaux
Greatest amatuer coach ever (opinion)

-------------

The coolest thing about the USA is anyone on here can go to college, earn a degree, get certified to teach and then coach baseball at the high school level, as an educator. So if you don't like things the way they are do what it takes to change them - run your program your way.
R RLB100+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by OA5II:
Another great thing about this country is you have the right to your opinion and you have the right to express that opinion whether someone likes it or not.


The bad thing about this country is too many people have this mentality and speak too often without really thinking about what they are about to say.

Too much word vomit everywhere.
R RLB100+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by OA5II:
I would disagree. We have too many in this country that are cowards and don't have the guts to speak and voice an opinion b/c they fear huritng someone's feelings or being considered an outcast.


Well you aren't understanding my post. I am all for speaking your mind...but only with thought and care into the meaning of what you are saying. Like I said, too much word vomit everywhere. Just because an emotion turns to thought and that thought leaves the mouth doesn't make you 'brave.' It really just makes you normal. Too much apologizing afterward - "I was in the heat of the moment and I let my emotions get the best of me" or "I wasn't thinking before I spouted off yesterday, I have a clearer head now..." is far too common.

Applied to baseball and games involving parents - no doubt coaches are wrong at times, they are allowed to be because like any job everyone makes mistakes (especially ones that involve so many decisions that aren't black and white), but there is also no doubt that parents sit in the stands with about 10% of the available information to make their voiced opinion on.

fwiw, I have never met anyone that voiced an opinion that was completely wrong due to emotion or lack of information and when they walked away I thought, "gee, what a brave guy! Love his mentality!"
BackstopDad32BackstopDad325,000+ posts
RLB I completely agree.

Reason why all these volleyball, baseball, etc. clubs have the 24 hour rule. Those parents that respect it find that their child has a much better experience.

My wife and I watch our youngest's volleyball team struggle at some point every tourney and one of us almost always will say we need to talk to the coach. By the time we make it to the car we realize it isn't such a big deal.

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