When did you let your kid play out of state without you?

We did it around 15U.  We have had others on our team send their kids along with other parents as young as 12U.  Though this is with a team that had been together for a few years and the parents became fairly close.  

Or better yet, tell us about any first hand knowledge of "others" that have shipped off their kids (maybe we can get a few more submissions).  I am sure the specifics of any trip a youngster makes are unique and many of these kids are probably quite mature for their age so I'm guessing all trios are not bad.

 

I have heard about kids getting flown into Cooperstown (apparently there is a limit as to how many kids a particular team can have overnight at any given time - understood this was somewhat common with pitchers).  Also heard about kids that "vacationed" near PG sitesessentially living near the ballpark with either one parent or even an older sibling (more like 16U, not 12u).  As out team is doing PG for the first time this year, I suspect there will be occassions when a player will be under watchful eye of another set of parents, especailly for the first night, allowing some parents a more normalized work schedule.

We've taken teammates who's parents we knew well on cross-country trips as young as 11U (including Cooperstown).  We may (depends on work schedule) need to to that this summer with my 14U son for JOs and PG tournaments.

 

As far as sending my kid to play with a bunch of strangers…not until he's old enough to fend for himself.

My son was in college before he played out of state and we weren't there.  Even at Cooperstown I stayed in a town about 20 minutes away.  I wasn't "with" the team, but I was reasonably close by.  Sports at the Beach - same thing - we stayed in Rehoboth Beach 30 minutes from the complex.

 

Back when he played travel ball, if the team went out of state (rare) we were there with him.

We live in Florida, so it wasn't out of state - but our son did a PG tourney on the other side of the state at 14U with another family.

 

I think it depends on your kid, and how well you know the people he is with.  We didn't expect any problems, but worst case scenario we were only an hour and a half away.

 

 

Summer after Junior year, he was in FL with his travel team twice, two weeks at a time. Maybe one other time...can't remember.  Dropped him off at the team bus and away he went. I think it was harder on me when I dropped him off at the airport to fly to his official visit by himself.  The Atlanta airport is huge.  Luckily he and I flew together a couple of times before that.     

I read this and started thinking it's no big deal. I then realized I never have let him play out-of-state without me.

 

FOOP-FOOP-FOOP-FOOP (read it fast over and over).

My son's first trip alone was at 14 for the 14u USA team.  He flew from Atlanta to Cary.  I figured I could drive up and get him in 6 hours if needed.  Before that, we were always able to go.  We did play with some really good friends, so i would have been comfortable sending him a few hours away at 13.  He is now in high school (16)  I would send him alone now if I knew and trusted the coaches/parents.  Even at this age, i would not just put him on a plane if I did not know who was at the other end.  

EXACTLY!  My initial thought was, wow how cool to go play baseball with a host family for the summer...which quickly turned into what in the world are these parents thinking letting their kid go play baseball with a host family for the summer!!!

 

But my kid is young so I came to the board looking for some perspective on how these things happen.

2016 (16 YO) flew down to FLA a couple of days after last Christmas to play ball for 4 days. When he was invited, my wife and aunt all encouraged me to make the trip with him; I felt it was better he went alone as a growing experience. He had a good tourney so I guess it worked!

 

My wife was a wreck that week. 

My son has played with some of the kids since he was 9 . So we knew the families for a couple of years. He was 12 the first time we didn't go out of state with him. The thing I was most anxious about was him getting hurt on the field. It's just like them going camping with a friends family or going to an amusement park for the day. I'm always going to be wondering what they're up to when I'm not with them.

       
       
As for playing while staying with a host family I would never ever let him do that.  That having been said I don't think he will ever get that opportunity either.  I think you probably have to be like a top 100 in the nation type for someone to want you to do that.  And then only when you are at least 15 or 16.  But then I would ask the question if you are already at that level of recruitment - probably getting offers from major D1's...  why would it be so important to go somewhere else to play.  Caco as you know I am usually a live and let live kind of guy.  But here, just my opinion, I would say a person is a little self absorbed if they still need to go far away to play for some elite team somewhere even if it separates them from friends and family.  You already have your scholarship.  You are probably already on a great travel team.  And you may already be a strong draft prospect.   Stay home and play with your buds.

I want to quickly add my comments only pertain to someone going to live an entire summer with a host family.  We moved from illinois to wisconsin.  If one of his old illinois teammates called and said we need you for a big tournament in Missouri I would let him go even if I could not.  Because we know them.  They are his friends.  Different situation.  Other exception would be if a kid wanted to finish up with his team after parents moved.  We had this situation once.  Dad transferred to florida and left son behind with a 'host' family to finish the last two months of the season.  But these are different situations from how I understood the original question.

CaCO3Girl - I think it would depend on the maturity of the player, the need to travel alone (is it worth it), and how well I knew the people he was traveling with. 

 

2020dad - The players that you are describing that you say need to stay home and play with their buds... well, they play on high level travel teams all over the country right up until the day they leave for that D1 they signed with.  Why? Because they need (and want) to face the best competition available all the way up until their first college game.  But that is for another thread. 

It's not always the high level travel teams. For example, host families is how Babe Ruth/Cal Ripken works. When these teams make the World Series, many stay with host families. I'm not entirley sure how well they are checked out, though. I would assume there is some sort of check done.

Okay, I think there's probably a bigger question looming here, so here's my 2 cents:

 

GHHS jr started traveling "with the team" to Arizona at 13/14 (we live in SoCal, so it's about a 6 hour drive).  As parents, we were welcome to follow the team van, go to dinner with them and generally be around during the tournament.  The players stayed in separate rooms (usually in the same hotel as us...but not always), traveled to the field in the van, had team meetings without parents present, and generally got a taste of life as a "real ball player".

 

Since then, the boy has been to GA, FL and Cuba....all without dear old mom and dad.  Did it suck not to be there?  Absolutely!  Were we nervous?  Absolutely!  Were we worried about him being exposed to some, shall we say, less-then-desirable habits (chew, beer, girls, etc.)?  No doubt.

 

I can tell you this though:  We had faith in how we raised him and knew he would be okay.  I can tell you one more thing:  I have no doubt whatever path he chooses (baseball or otherwise), he'll be more than prepared to handle the adversity.

 

Raise them right (whatever that means to you), have faith in them, then set them on the path to become men.  Everything else is pretty much out of your hands.  Life happens and they need to be equipped to deal with it.

 

PS for Root:  I actually had to make the noise to get it.  My guys are now looking at me strange thru the window of my office.  Comical.

       
       
Agreed and hopefully my son will get that chance to play all over the country.  Our older teams in our organization do that.  And we have the vast majority go on to play college.  The ones who don't go on to play college are mostly those who opt for another sport in college.  So I am all for that.  And will have no issue with him going with his 'buds' on HIS team.  My understanding was a kid who is 'too good' to travel the country with his own program so goes to live with someone far away to play with their team.  If I misunderstood the original post my apologies.

A month after my son turned 17 (June, 2014,summer before his Senior year), we let him go a team in which he had known the players less than a month. Tournament was 575+ miles away. He rode in team van.  In some ways, he is/was very mature for his age. (Some ways, not so much). We had never really had any issues with him concerning alcohol, drugs, etc. He was gone for 4-5 days. He wanted to go. As of that time, he basically did not have a scholarship offer anywhere. 

 

A couple of weeks later, due to his team not going to Atlanta as intended, he was asked to play for several different teams. We chose one. Spoke with coaches several times. They are a very reputable organization. We let him drive his truck 650+ miles away by himself. They stayed 7+ days at Atlanta. There was some soul searching by my wife and me, mainly her. Sure, we worried. Made him turn on the IPhone App so we could see where he was or at least where his phone was. Things went pretty smoothly.

 

As tournament was ending, he was asked to follow the team to Ft Myers. He drove another 700+ miles. Stayed there 7+ days and then began the trip back home, meeting us at a couple of colleges.

 

Based upon those 3-4 weeks, he received multiple scholarship offers from D1 schools. Those 3-4 weeks helped him obtain one of his goals by mid-July.  We live in a smaller area. Had he stayed "home" and played around here, he maybe would have eventually been noticed but it may have been too late in the process for some of the schools that he was interested in.  The independence that he showed while he was gone was instrumental in his recruitment.

 

We would do it again and again in a heartbeat!

NTG-2016son traveled alone with 14U team to WWBA-no problems as coaching staff was organized and included one dad; as 15U traveled alone and played in PG Underclass champs-minor problem in transportation and accommodations as he roomed with older players in program (nothing serious, just disorganized); at 16 the boy spent four weeks in Germany as an exchange student-no problem-stayed with host family and was part of group of 13 other exchange students and an adult chaperone; as 16U traveled alone with team to PG event in Arizona-no problem, coaches very experienced and organized.

 

These have been wonderful opportunities for our son to learn how to deal with situations by himself. In each instance our parental worries were greatly outweighed by the life lessons and confidence our son gained.

 

The separations from him were tough for us: no way for our helicopter to hover over him.

 

Of course one major element now available to calm parental nerves is the ubiquitous cellphone. We as parents can maintain a much higher degree of contact with our children than was available during our youth.

 

If you trust the coaches, chaperones and organizers, any trip you son takes without you can be a wonderful learning opportunity for him.

I'll add that my son has been where he would have to do that. The freshman wnats to stay and make one more BR run at a World Series with his budies, though. I'm going to let him. Next year, though, we're probably going to send he and Mom to Atlanta for the summer to play through East Cobb. His mother is from Atlanta and most of her family still lives there.

At 11 or 12, because we knew the other parents he would be going with.  It was for Cal Ripken All Star Tournaments.

I've found it beneficial to judge my son's maturity level by the following:

- first trip to Cooperstown Dreams Park 12u he's almost 11 years of age. Returns home with less then half the clothes he brought with him. I was certain that he had not showered or brushed his teeth for the entire week.

- second trip to Cooperstown, he's almost 12.  Returns home with approximately 2/3 of the clothes he brought with him. Mom was smart enough to NOT pack all new clothes like she did the previous year. Looks like he showered and brushed his teeth a couple of times. Things are looking up.

- third trip to Cooperstown and he's almost 13. Returns home with about 85% of the clothes he brought with him. Looks like he showered and brushed his teeth every day. We're making headway here.

- last summer traveled with the team to Dallas, TX area for a tournament. Returned with all of his clothes and someone else's jersey and pants. Is obvious he showered and brushed teeth daily. Boys stayed 4 to a room during this trip. The word from a mom who passed by their room for a brief look was that it was a horror show. She was confident that housekeeping was afraid to enter and clean their room.

- this past spring was down in Orlando, FL with the HS team for a week. Lost nothing. Actually put his dirty clothes in the separate bag we've always given him (but usually got lost or wasn't used) inside his suitcase. Again was showered with teeth brushed. Saw a video or two that he posted of the kids (4 to a room) in their room and it actually looked ok.

So to sum it all up. I figure another 20 years or so and he'll be ready for college. :-)

You understood the post.  To clarify, Team X is a nationally ranked team and they have players from all over the country that come together to form this team....I have heard NJ, LA, TN, and IN mentioned.  In order for the team to practice together and to make it easier to get to different tourneys 40%or more of the team requires host homes for the summer at Team X's home base.

Awesome Post!

By the way, anyone want to take my son to Georgia for WWBA 2018's ?

       
       
In that case I stick with my original comments.  I think most others did not pick up on that.  Of course we would all probably let parent B take our kids if we couldn't make it.  But your original scenario is something completely different.  Sort I  like how rich is rich enough?  How good is good enough?  My son's organization is plenty good enough for me.  Our best player is committed to a top 25 type major but may never get there as he may be a top 3 rounds pick.  If the program is good enough for him I am pretty sure its good enough for my son lol!  And like I said before almost everyone plays college somewhere.

One of my sons was 12 when he played out of state for the first time with neither my wife nor I.  It was NorCal to Omaha.  He went with the same travel team he was on for a couple of years and obviously stayed and was watched by teammates' parents and coaches who did go, who we've known for years.  They stayed in the Omaha Village where all the players and coaches have to stay. 

I coached my daughter all the way through travel ball after her junior year of high school. I coached my son through travel ball after his freshman year of high school. So through these years I was always there. After my daughter's senior year she drove to the tournaments with a teammate. She stayed in the hotel and went out to dinner with teammates the same as she would if I was there. My son was sixteen the first time I didn't attend a tournament. He traveled on the team charter and stayed in a hotel with the team just as he would do if I wasn't there. 

 

I didnt worry about my kids. They flew alone (together with airport escorts) starting when they were ten and five. When my son was twelve he flew alone without escorts. I always made sure the trips were nonstop. I didn't want my son wandering through O'Hare alone.

15

I was often the coach of my son's travel teams, so I was typically with him until his first trip without me at age 14.  At that time, we entrusted him to the coaches' supervision.  Other parents were also present.

 

I also took on the duty of providing rides etc. for other players on teams for which I coached at younger ages, but our teams didn't travel out of state until age 13, and even then it was just a few hours away.  I think we had 1 or 2 state championship tourneys at age 11 or 12 where many parents were present but probably no more than half.

 

As to kids who don't behave themselves, you should know who they are before you travel and they should be off the team as soon as they identify themselves anyway.  Those who do behave themselves, and who therefore remain and participate, typically continue to demonstrate their understanding of the behavior required of them, and they get to have a fun time as a result.  I never saw a kid get real anxious or anything.  To the contrary, they typically loved having the freedom and often fully appreciated the trust their parents had placed in them. 

 

I did, however, have a few parents -- most often but not always the moms -- who were in constant contact, having trouble with cutting apron strings.

Is it really trouble cutting the apron strings, or just concern for a child they know.  At this point my biggest concern for my child on a trip like that wouldn't be that he would misbehave...it would be "how on earth is he going to wake up?"...he's had an alarm blaring in his ear as he snored on, peacefully oblivious.

My first will be next week for the state playoffs. My wife is graduating college from UALR on Saturday May 16 and we will be making the trip from Colorado to Little Rock. We are the #2 seed in the playoffs in a classification where it is most likely a 2-horse race between us and the #1 seed who is also ranked by Maxpreps as the #1 team in the state at any classification. Assuming we win our region this weekend, we'll be in the state tourney - a double elim tourney spread out over two weekends. The first weekend consists of three games. If both teams win their first two games, we'll be pitted against one another in the winner's bracket finals on that Saturday. My son is slated to start on the mound in the third game that weekend no matter who we play. So, I will be a few states away when he takes on the undefeated #1 team in the state as a freshman. The biggest game of his life (so far) will be the first one I will ever miss.

Beginning in 7th grade, son played all over the country without us going along.  

But we knew the coaches, and we knew they would not abuse son and he was well taken care of. I would not let him go play for a strange coach all summer, perhaps as a hitter but not as a pitcher.  I dont think he wanted to do that either.

One time we found out he pitched on short rest (middle school)  and that was the last time that ever happened. 

Its my opinion that these are great experiences for your sons, and will someday make the transition from home to college much easier.

 

 

Summer after JR year.  LH just turned 17 and went and lived with the Pitching Coach of his travel team up in Atlanta for that entire summer.  He was very well adjusted socially and very independent.  RH is not that socially adjusted or mature, so the time is not right for him to have the same experience

I think son was 15 when the team went to Florida to play in a PG event for a week.  I put meal money in an envelope and told him to divide the amount by the number of days, and put an extra $20 in your shaving for the trip home.  We gave him a temporary credit card to use in an emergency.

 

The next two years the travel team traveled together as a team all summer.  We went to most events, but we didn't have to.  

 

Kids going with other parents/kids to Cooperstown are really only using the taxi service of the parents.  They are staying and eating in the barracks/compound for the week.  Although that is out of state for most, it really is more like going to an overnight baseball camp for a week with the coaches as camp counselors.

 

Some things to think about:  make sure you child has a copy of his insurance card and some kind of form signed so that the coach can act in your behalf in case of a medical emergency.  If you child is going outside the country, there are all sorts of forms that need to be filled out if your child is a minor traveling without a parent, and make sure one parent has an up-to-date passport should you need to get to your child in a hurry.