When it's your first - mom handling it okay

My oldest is in between soph/jr year in college. She is spending her first summer away from home, living and working at her college. It has been hard not having her home now, but I realize that is what life is about...a young adult spreading wings to live on their own.

We had a struggle to get along when she was in HS. Now, we talk several times a week, and have good, long conversations - so different now.

Moral of this story: "absence makes the heart grow fonder" - him being gone from home may actually draw him closer to you!

Handling your feelings of missing him, that will come naturally, mom! You will be ok!

Not to be glib, but how would you feel if he WASN'T leaving the nest?

My oldest is 20 and has been playing college ball for two years now with intense summer assignments in between. He's only been home a total of three weeks each year...a few days at Thanksgiving, Christmas, winter break (can't stay home long so close to the start of college season) and a few days before we put him on a plane for CA this summer.
Try to look at this phase as the best place for him to be. You raised him to have success in life and, even though you miss him, you wouldn't want him anywhere else. I try not to feel sad that he's gone by focusing on how happy I am that he's living such a great dream.

Hang in there!

Leaving the first one at college in Alabama required a case of tissues! 11 1/2 hours away - only home briefly for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Spend last summer down in North Carolina. So we got to spend about 2-3 weeks in a year together and that's it! But it does get easier as you see them grow into the adults they are going to be.

Just pack tissues and give in to it! You're allowed all the tears you want - we've put alot into raising them to be the self sufficient, capable adults we hope and when they leave a part of you goes with them! I feel for you!

Lucy ...

Know what you mean ... and even when they are rather quiet around the house, walking around the house and not tripping over his size 11 boats for shoes made it all the more real.

But it does prepare us for when they get all grown up and get married and head out to become the head of their own household. We used to see ours a lot while he was in college because he was only 30 miles away and we were able to go to almost all of his games in 3 years ... only missed 2 series in all that time. But I still missed him, even tho I knew he was just a trip up the nearest freeway.

If memory serves me correctly (it has been a few years), there seems to be some added stress to even the best parent/child relationships during the last year of school ... and my theory is that it is God's way of helping us let them go because they get to be so obnoxious that last year that we can't wait to get them out of the house ... (that was a joke, girlfriends ... one I am sure many of you can relate to.)

I found the personal packs of Puffs tissues the easiest to take along ... the tissues are full size and very soft for the tender nose.

Lucy/Michelle,
I can certainly relate to your feelings especially since I have an only child.
Not only were we totally emeshed in baseball, but he did theater, choir and plays in a band so there was ALWAYS something he was performing in or going to or practicing for and mom was right there to see every moment.
His band practiced here so there were kids here constantly and music and playstation and whiffle ball in the court...
...and then he was gone...

His first 2 years he was 5 hours away and the first game that I did not see was agonizing..and then it got easier.
This last year, he was only 3 hours away so I got to see a few more games first hand AND we got to travel to the NAIA World Series which was a total BLAST.
And the band still practices here so my house is filled with music for the summer.

My first piece of advice to you is this - STOP worrying about what's going to happen next year and enjoy NOW. He's going to be a senior and you will be having lots of "lasts"
...last first day of high school
...last homecoming game
and so forth
Savor those moments as you watch him mature and grow and realize that he has left childhood behind and is moving into adulthood.

Secondly, listen to those who answered above and be grateful that your son has shown the skill and desire to move on to the next level of baseball...which he will find challenging and exciting...and wants to move on with his life.
People often asked me how I was going to cope with Tristan being gone and I always answered that I would rather have a son who is a healthy adult making his own decisions than one who stays here and never finds his way in the world.

He told me not too long ago that he was so happy that he left home and went away to school - not that he doesn't like home, but it opened up doors, allowed him to meet people, and let him discover how to make his own choices and mistakes.

And a last note...once he's off at school, that first time he calls YOU instead of the other way around is the best feeling in the world

quote:

once he's off at school, that first time he calls YOU instead of the other way around is the best feeling in the world

Boy, that is so true! I've set my phone up so a picture of my son shows when he is calling - I get a major thrill to see his smiling face everytime he calls! Of course, I do get more texts than phone calls - if you don't know how to text - start learning now.

Great advice here - the senior year can be so much fun but also trying as they can taste that freedom that is so close but not quite there. I think they take one step forward and two steps back on growing up that senior year!

We certainly take for granted that our kids are just simply going to be around forever! And when the reality hits, that they will move on without us, it is an empty feeling. That feeling does get replaced with a true sense of adventure...no, not that cozy feeling of knowing where he is every second. But you really do get excited for them because they are going to do different, fun and interesting things. So I think the sense of sadness quickly gets replaced with anticipation for all their news of their new lives. I remember dreading him leaving. Crying in the car when nobody was looking. Feeling a bit like an idiot. It honestly got so much better that I can only barely remember feeling pretty upset. It must be mother nature's way of keeping mom's sane. Kind of like forgetting what a contraction feels like: otherwise none of us would ever get pregnant again!!

Catcher #1 is going away to college in the fall...I'm sad and glad at the same time. He is my first one to leave the nest. I am SO proud of him and what he has accomplished, he is such a nice young man. He's excited to go away, he doesn't think he is going to miss us, but I'm pretty sure he will. Catcher #2 is probably going to miss him even more than I will, they are just best friends.

I won't be able to go to all of his games, school is 4 hours away... It is going to be a big adjustment for me.