When Your Son Decided To Stop Playing

@Francis7

When son decided to walk away from the game, my husband was devastated. I had to remind him that he needed to be supportive of his decision. We encouraged him to go back to finish his degree then decide what would be the next step.

Little did he or we realize that this would be the beginning of a new career in baseball.

You are not the only parent here who has had the same experience. And FWIW, they all survived!

The importance IMO is finishing what your son started, not necessarily playing a sport but earning a degree.

Don't let your son look back later on and regret walking away from a meaningful education.

JMO

Francis,

good question. Uncle Sam made a request for my service. Later the golden Hills of California motivated me West.
My son enjoyed the palm trees of Hawaii and now is SSK Sales Director.
Creativity and imagination can predict the future

Bob

My oldest decided to become a father.  Well, not so much decided.  Best thing that ever happened though. We have a beautiful grandson.  My relationship with my son has become so much closer.  And to be honest, he wasn’t cut out for college academics.  He has a job with the carpenters union.  Couldn’t be prouder!  He filled in on a couple of summer league games with my 2027.  It was so fun to watch the two play together.  

When your son decided to stop playing?

I'm not really sure how to answer except to say it was his time.  He loved baseball, and what it had done for him but it was time to pursue other passions, a professional career, and grad school.  He had a year of eligibility left (injured junior year), but decided before his senior year started that he wanted to pursue an engineering job opportunity with GE after graduation.  It was not a hard decision for him, and my wife and I agreed it was the right decision.

There were no second thoughts or "what ifs" that I'm aware of.  My son maximized his abilities in his 4 year college career.  He was fully aware of his abilities and didn't see anything beyond college baseball.  Our neighbor was a couple years ahead of my son, and shared his professional baseball experiences in MLB and Korean professional baseball.  I think our neighbors experiences solidified my son's decision.

I think my wife and I took his decision very much in stride.  Our oldest son was doing well, and we focused our time on our other two sons.   Baseball is always a topic of discussion in our family.   I feel very fortunate to have picked up golf late in life and spend time with my sons on the golf course when we can.  My oldest son was visiting over the Holidays, and we (all 3 sons + me) got out on the links to play some winter golf.  Of course baseball came up.   Baseball seems to be one of "the glues" between us, as I started them on the baseball path when all of them were in diapers.   Now, they are teaching me to play golf.  It is a true "circle of life"!

Best of luck @Francis7.  Both of you will figure it out.

When my daughter's time came, she had an option to tryout for the Akron Racers.  Her college coach was the HC for them and one of her teammates became a pitcher for them.  People don't understand just how little these players make.  Most often, they live four and five in an apartment and do their best to split the cost of food.  The ones who have bat/glove deals did ok but did not make big money.  A few got coaching jobs to supplement their pro careers.  My daughter opted to coach instead and has been doing so ever since.  I am trying my best to get her to get out of that.  She is still "ate up" with the game.  I worry because legislation now in our state include severe punishment for things that would never have been allowed before.  For example, if you have a player make a claim against you as a coach, even if you are proven innocent of those charges, the information stays on your record for the remainder of your teaching career.  IOWs, if you tried to change schools, they would view this information and it might affect getting another job. 

Per her playing career, she doesn't have any regrets.  She stays in contact with most of her teammates from HS, TB to college. They remain her best friends.  She also stays in contact with her college coach. 

Thanks for the topic, Francis!

After three poor college baseball years, my son had decided to just finish his four years with his teammates. That decision lifted the weight of baseball off his shoulders and, poof, he had an incredible last season, which resulted in being drafted as a senior budget pick.

Our baseball advice - from college on -was really limited to trying help him place baseball into life context. Having taken 10 years (split 2/2 years) myself to finish an undergraduate degree, I told him his time before 30 made no difference to success in life. We also told him that "real life" (i.e., the daily grind of a real job) was not a greener pasture or an easier grind; it was but a different pasture and the grind was tough. By the same token, we wanted him to fully commit to baseball, to leave it all out there, to give it everything, for it to be a crucible in his life (much like military service was a crucible in my life).

We did tell him he needed to reach a point where he would never peer into a mirror and ask to the face looking back "what if" when baseball ended.

He had told us that he had no interest in being a long-term milber and he had a powerful and versatile degree (econ) which paved the way for his future. (He had multiple job offers in his pocket by early senior year.)

When he was released, his phone rang with several organizations' offers, but the fun, joy, and time of baseball had passed for him. He turned all the offers down and never looked back. I think he's picked up a glove only a few times since then. (Golf has taken baseball's place for a while.)

Meanwhile, mom and dad's life expectancy increased at least a decade once he hung up his glove. Make no mistake, mom and dad essentially mourned the passing of a multi-decade shared experience that had run its course. We couldn't watch HS or college games for a few years as we sympathized with the parents of players who were struggling and we both had a weird form of PTSD! That mourning period gradually passed as we watched him spread his wings and fly.

He's 31; has a toddler and there is no doubt he will be involved in baseball as a parent. (He's already talking baseball to his son AND his wife was an incredibly competitive softball player.)

I know - by what adorns their walls, by  his humongous collection of baseball t-shirts, by who he keeps in touch with - that he views baseball as having positively shaped and bent the arc of his life and provided opportunities otherwise not available.

It was not easy watching him trace his path (neither was it easy watching my non-athlete daughter), but for us it worked and all is well.

Now I can't wait for my grandson's first t-ball game. And the circle of life will go on!

My son came out of high school coming off an injury. He knew going in there were two opportunities; 1) Get his degree in three years and sign or 2) Stay five to play four and get a BA and MBA. The latter eventually became the plan.

He played the end of his redshirt junior year with a broken bone in his foot. He had surgery after the season. His foot didn’t heal properly. I was there with him sitting in the doctor’s office again at the beginning of February discussing could he play or need surgery.

The doctor told him he could play and have surgery later. He also told him he could be risking walking and running properly the rest of his life. My son told the doctor he had to give the situation some thought.

I must have had fire shooting out of my eyes leaving the office. I was ready to give him, “Are you out of your effing mind? You have the rest of your life to live!”  

Once out of the office my son muttered, “I’m done.” He didn’t want to say it in the office in case he started crying. I hugged him and told him he had a great run from ten (when travel started) to twenty-two. That I enjoyed it every step of the way.

He could have applied for a medical red shirt. He didn’t see the need. He had two degrees by the end of the year. He had done an internship at Deloitte. They told him to call for an interview after graduation. He worked there five years.

Red shirt senior year my son rarely went to practice. He sat in the dugout keeping score at home games. He said being a normal student wasn’t so bad.

There was one regret for both of us. He wished he knew when he was playing his last game so he could have taken in the moment. I told him the same about watching him play.