Mega-Merger Proposal Stuns MLB
September 2, 2005
Houston, Texas
D. Keller, UP Wire
In a merger proposal worthy of Wall Street, Houston Astros owner Drayton McClane announced today that he has reached a tentative agreement to purchase controlling interest in the Texas Rangers. Upon completion of the purchase - pending MLB approval - he will merge the Rangers into the Astros organization.
McClane stated "This merger will yield tremendous benefits. The value of the merged entity will far exceed their separate values. We have calculated a $124 million in annual savings from combining operations staffs and farm programs alone."
One area where savings will not be realized, however, is in facilities. "We will truly be Texas' baseball team. And we will split our home games between Houston and Arlington, so that we will continue to serve fans in both markets."
The merger is causing ripples of concern among the farm system, however. In response to a question on this issue, McClane replied "Some reduction there only makes business sense. Hopefully the affected communities will find other teams to fill their local stadiums."
McClane extolled the virtues of the merger from a baseball standpoint. "Let's face it, the Astros need offensive firepower and the Rangers still need pitchers. And after determining the final combined roster, we certainly should be able to do well with some trades. Quite frankly, I will be disappointed if we don't win the 2006 World Series."
When asked about who would manage the new team and which players would be retained, McClane demurred. "It would not be appropriate to address the first part of your question at this time. And the answer to the second part of your answer will obviously involve the new manager's input."
Sources indicate that the team will choose the name of "Texas Astros". Other names considered reportedly included "Houston Rangers", "Arlington Houston Texans" and "Arlington Houston Texas Rangers".
MLB Commissioner Bud Selig was quoted as saying "We were initially stunned by the audacity of the proposal. But baseball is a business, and mergers and acquisitions are part of business. This proposal may be viewed favorably, as it is in line with our plan to reduce the number of franchises."
Privately, one MLB front office insider expressed concern that approval could set a dangerous precedent, however. "I can see it coming," this source said, "Steinbrenner undertakes a hostile takeover of the Red Sox. And then chaos ensues."
When asked where he obtained the inspiration for such a bold move, McClane elaborated. "Well, I was visiting with a friend in Keller recently. And hearing Doug's stories about what was occurring in DFW area select baseball, I decided if they could pull it off then certianly we could."
Original Post
