WhY

its a mystery

TRHit, do you want an answer?

1. My Little John John has to be better than your little Joey because we are better parents.

2. We have spent $$$$$ on private coaches which is $$$$ more than anyone else has spent and so our John John is better.

3. I hate my job. I hate my life. At times I hate my Wife. However, my John John is perfect and that screwball is ruining his career because they timed him wrong.

4. I want John John to be good even if he doesn't have the drive yet to be good.

5. All coaches suck!

6. When my boss tells me about how good his Joey is, I have to one up him because my pride won't allow him to top me at everything.

(Just want to say that I've done this a long time and what I've posted here would be the exception and not the rule with the parents I've dealt with. However, I do have a parent's meeting every year!!!)

quote:

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Originally posted by TRhit:
Why is it always the guy with the stopwatch when the kid runs a 7.8 while daddy says he runs a 6.8 ?? And then he can produce people to testify that what he says is so

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Aw common Tom, I only said my son could run a 6.9 and I have witnesses. Don't exagerate

B25, too much coffee??

This can be a very fun type thread

Keep it coming

quote:

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Originally posted by Bee>:
B25, too much coffee??

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DIET COKE!!! I'M NOT OLD ENOUGH TO DRINK THE HARD STUFF. LOL!


Again, I'm blessed with the best parents in America! However, I've seen ...

Come on TR - the answer is so obvious.

Rose-tinted stop-watches. They sell in several magazines (on the page opposite the rose-tinted radar guns). They sell for a mere $99.85 and are guaranteed to be 100% accurate (plus or minus one minute).

Aparent,

Man, you ruined it for me. Never could afford one of them radar guns. I am not a doctor.

Pulled out my dad gum stop watch, and sure enough, the lens was rose colored. Never even noticed..........

TR:

Let the former track guy answer this:

.15 for the digital stopwatch instead of the wind-up.

.15 for fully automatic timing.

.05 for the wind-resistant clothing the dummy forgot to wear.

.05 for the thick socks instead of the race stockings.

.1 for the wind of the day.

and .5 for the piano he's got on his back (otherwise known as daddy).

Just one message for coachB25
lay off the diet coke, it's a deadly drink that contains Aspartame.
http://www.sweetpoison.com/aspartame-side-effects.html
I was drinking the stuff and soon started scratching my arms and leggs until they almost bled, went to several Drs and and was told to buy several different lotions and salves, still no relief, was talking to a nurse one day while buying some diet coke and she pointed out some of the side effects and recommended making a search on Aspartame.

B25,

EXACTLY! You hit the nail on the head. Sadly, there are MANY parents like that. You forgot one, 'the teachers are all no good because John John should have a 4.0'

Maybe we can start a coaches forum so that you guys can lump all of the parents together and continue to beat them over the head. How about a "Parents Suck" Forum right next to the "Coaches Suck" Forum. We can make Will the moderator so that he can tell us how it was back in the day!

For sake of discussion let’s talk about the flip side of this. What if parents looked at their kid and just saw an ordinary kid. What if you went to your child and said: “Johnny, the neighbor kid is faster, smarter, better looking, throws harder, hits farther and has a lot more to offer the world than you?” “Son, you have to be realistic, you will grow up to be just an average person.” No, we as parents shouldn’t do that. I think we as parents have to fan the embers of hope in our children. It is our job to instill confidence when none is obvious. To prop them up when we see them falling. During the potty training years I think we should even go so far as to give them a reward for a properly placed pile of doo doo. We aren’t harming these children. In time most young people will come to grip with who they are and what they are. They soon realize what a pile of doo doo is. It is called maturity. I guess we could accelerate maturity to a certain degree but imagine the harm we could do if we pushed too hard. We are basic animals and our parental instincts guide us to do the best thing for our children. Everything is fine until the parent places their child into society (like a baseball team). When this happens we have a sudden clash of reality and expectations. Kids have no problem with it. . . It’s the parents that can’t handle the change.
Fungo

Heck.....I always told my son to stop running, once the stopwatch got to 6.8, then you're not telling a lie.

Be good,
David

Fungo..."Fanning the embers of hope.....instilling confidence.....propping them up" are all things parents should do. But if we're telling them they're better than they actualy are we're deceiving them. We should be honest with our kids about their abilities and help them every way we can to get better, improve.
If we're telling other people our kids are better than they are we're setting them up for failure. We as parents need to worry less about what other people think about our kids and more about what our kids think of themselves.
Honesty is still the best policy. With our kids and with ourselves.

What is honesty? At 14 my son was a bench warmer. I believed in him. I encouraged him. You never know when someone will develop. Hope springs eternal. You don't want to be unrealistic and then not encourage hard work. I see potential of a player and never pidgeon hole him. JMO

Why not tell the parent he did better. that is what they want to hear and don't we want to keep them happy. Why be honest. It will only get you in trouble. Imagine a coach telling a player he is not as good as he thinks he or his parents thhinks he is. His self esteem would be shattered. God forbid he might take it as the "truth" and work to make himself better. Try teaching. When kids do not learn it is always something else that is preventing the kid from succeeding. Learning disability, school phobia, test anxiety.etc etc etc. A whole different world out there. and people buy into it.

BigHIt, I went overboard and, again, I want to make sure that everyone knows I Pro PARENTS! I HAVE BEEN BLESSED. HOWEVER, I HAVE ALSO HAD SOME OF THE WORSE! If I told you stories from this week, no one would believe them as far as how positive my parents are. If I told you of some of the confrontations, no one would believe them.

PARENTS LOVE THEIR CHILD. IT IS A GOOD THING.

It is a parents responsibilty to provide a "safe haven" to which our children can return to when all is wrong with the world...if a parent is consistently saying so and so is better than you I consider this to be a form of mental abuse...it does nothing to provide stimulas to get better at something...it only serves as a deterrent to the child into believing he or she will never succeed or never be good enough in the parents eyes...
Also, all this parent bashing is really unnecessary...if you are a coach and have one or two parents who are dissatisfied but all the rest are comfortable with you then it is the disgruntled parents problem...they are of the caliber of those who are never satisfied...but if a vast majority of the parents are not happy then it is time for the coach to remove the rose colored glasses and admit coaching is not for you and you are the problem

Catcher03 mom

Parents should provide support for their children but there is a thing called reality and sooner or later the child will have to face it. Nobody is talking about demeaning kids but when kids are not doing what they are supposed to do in school or sports they should be directed to do what they have to do not told it is not their fault. Kids will do what you let them get away with(Adults as well). Praise is great but if it is not warranted it is shallow and has no meaning.

Just remember that not all Dad's use inflated stop watches and radar gun numbers to brag about our son's. Some of us use these devices as tools to track training progress and get real true information about our son's future potential.

DG,
And then we brag.

I tell my son that he's got the ability to run faster than he does now so that he'll keep working on it. Who knows maybe he will get back to above average speed someday? I can dream.

quote:

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...but if a vast majority of the parents are not happy then it is time for the coach to remove the rose colored glasses and admit coaching is not for you and you are the problem

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I will be removing those rose colored glasses soon.

Big Hit

Got your shot in. "Back in the day" I guess I must concede to your wisdom as anybody over a certain age(I am 55) knows "nothing about anything"

I am a little fuzzy on these comparison/encouragement issues.

If you notice a player who is really good defenseively what is wrong with pointing out what the kid does to make him stand out. - That is not the same as saying Joe is better than you are son.

There are ways to encourage kids without resorting to fabricating anything. Why not point out the strengths of each kid on the team (including your own). We often learn from watching what others do it right. - That is not the same as saying son, why can't you do it like Joe does?

There is nothing wrong with pointing out a weakness your son needs to work on either. Now there is a constructive way to do it (not yelling at him during the game). And he may even welcome some help to work on it. - That is not the same as saying son you're not any good.

I agree 100% that it is important to encourage our kids to become the best they can be. And that means encouraging them every step of the way - espectially during those times when he is making the least amount of progress.

Unlike some I also agree 100% that it is important to reward unsuccessful effort IF it was full, all out effort. Sometimes it takes continued full out effort more than once to eventually succeed.

I also agree 100% that false encouragement is counter productive. Sometimes being there to tell your kid to get up, brush off the dust, and keep going is a whole lot more helpful to him than saying, son you're a great player.

Encourage, support, brag, but preferrably wtihout hot air.

Will, it was sarcasm and in fun! Ask yourself how many times you have brought up how "it wasn't that way back then". Sorry if you were offended. If I take a shot at you I will post "This is a shot" at the end so there will be no confusion.

Parent #1- Dont worry son that coach just doesnt like you.
Parent #2- Pick your head up son and just keep working hard it will work out if you do.
Parent #1- I had you at a 7.0 son the coach didnt want you to out run Billy.
Parent #2- 7.3 thats not bad at all son. Hey if you keep working Im sure you can get it down a little.
Parent #1- You didnt get anything to hit from that coach throwing the bp. Its not your fault your swing looked great.
Parent #2- It wasnt your best round of bp but you were working hard out there. Dont worry about it you will be ok.
Parent #1- Did you see the cream puffs they were hitting the other kids but they were hitting you screamers.
Parent #2- Look, you just broke down a little on your fundementals it alright. I'll hit you some balls next week and we will just keep working on it.
One parent offers excuses and no solutions. One parent offers support and solutions.

The desire to protect a son from reality because the parent can not handle reality = Parent #1

The desire to support a son in his endeavor to be successfull at something that he loves by being realistic at the same time supportive = Parent #2

Big hit

No offense taken. Just an opinion. Everybody today knows more about everything than the "back in the days" crowd like myself. Sarcasm? Maybe. On a lighter note I enjoy bantering back and forth. Hope everything is good at your end.

Will

Don't sweat the small stuff-- baseball is one sport where the older age is a benefit in terms of coaching and instructing.

SEE: Torre, McKeon, Zimmer et al

Trhit

I dont sweat the small stuff or the big stuff anymore. Put in my 30 years. it is tougher than ever to coach today. so many other stuff going on. It is so much different today than when I started Different in a positive or negative way is a matter of perspective. I have my opinion and have expressed it on occassion. Right wrong or whatever it is through a lot of experience. Somebody once said experience is the best teacher.

Will

We are going to be playing at Lehigh University this weekend--are you anywhere near there-- I would truly like to meet you

Trhit

Is this one "dinosaur" meeting another? Seems like from your posts that you might be from the same pre historic era as me. thanks for the invite.

T-Rex and the Bracheosaurus.

I wish I could be there to see this.

Itsinthe game

never know what you might learn

Will,

Im a little baby T-Rex.

Cut me some slack.

its

If I really want to go "old school" I bring in Grandpa --

LOL

Shoot TR - Im only 46 - and Im already being told by cyber dudes that I am clueless. I can feel your pain given that you and Will are nearing 95 years old each. LOL

They watch claymation reenactments and sit on their perfectly round rumps. Then they spout on the internet. LOL

On the other hand - me - like a jerk - eats seeds and watches about 250 games per year with real human beings actually playing the game.

Its time for me to begin fossilizing. I hope it dont hurt.

itsinthegame

Fosilizing does not hurt physically. You just have to be patient with those who think they have reinvented the game. I just chalk it up to their enthusiasm and there is nothing wrong with that. Archeologists go on digs to "learn" what went on the past. Some of us fossils are still above ground. No need to dig just ask or listen.