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Parent,
First off….Kudo’s to you and your son. You have a great perspective, you know your son, you know the program, you know your fit, you have plan B, and it appears that you have done all the proper research. I think the most single important thing you have done is to be ready move forward with your eyes open.
Second...The problem is that there is never a perfect fit and never easy answers. Particularly from outside (us) but you really have gotten some excellent feedback here IMO.I learned/thought a great deal reading this thread.
Hard to judge from our position, but given the circumstances as you lay them out? Mess with my mind…OK. Challenge me….Please do. I expect and want that. Bring in JC’s?...Expected. Those things only make me stronger. But hands-off and emotionally removed? This worries me….some…but not necessarily a deal killer and I am the biggest fan of a perfect coach fit out here.
IMO…Important things to consider…
- It is human nature to be overly critical of a coach who has made decisions that do not favor you. Young athletes often fall into this trap. You have to look carefully not only at the head coach but at the motivations/maturity of those who have commented. One of my favorite bits of research was a player who was a star at a school as a freshman and then left. He was a great source of information as to the worst case scenario. We took the information, chewed on it, took what we considered was valid to our case and… my son went there anyway, and is happy and developing..
- At the risk of overstating it, good cop/bad cop is very common in college programs. The Head coach makes those tough decisions and can appear somewhat aloof, the assistants get very close to the players. Very common scenario. Doesn’t necessarily mean that he is actually that way personally. May just appear that was as the assistants are so involved. Might simply be a management style. His is the entire program, and I think that is what you must consider. Though it is a point well taken that assistants come and go.
- I would research the program carefully. Yes, I too am a big advocate of learning to adapt to situations, learning on the fly to adapt to management styles, being flexible, but putting my son in a situations where I KNOW going in that there will be difficult philosophically?. Research and eyes wide open.
- Yes, Head coaches are under pressure to get the "W", yes that necessitates some tough, tough decisions. I understand that. But there are many ways to make those decisions palatable for all, and good coaches and good communicators do just that not just because it is the “right way” but in an effort to preserve team unity and players pulling toward a common goal. I am very naive. I believe that toughness handled properly creates respect. In my naive world view the best coaches may not have agreement but they do have and command respect and as a result the players will walk through walls for them. Do the current players REALLY dislike the coach, or do they find him tough but respect him?
- Plan B. For me at least I go in with my eyes wide open. If I can adapt great. If not do I have some solid thought into plan B.
- From this distance I cannot judge you family of the program or your fit…but I would research it carefully. Players are going to be spending an incredible amount of time in that coaches environment and philosophy. In the case of many programs the time spent there is far more than in any other single aspect of their lives. In the end my question for any young man and family looking at the baseball side of the overall program is respect and success. You may not agree but can you respect and prosper?
As I have said before only a family and a player can understand how all the pieces (athletic, academic, geographic, social, financial, emotional, intangible…) go together, and what place baseball should take.
There are no easy answers. Keep at it...with your perspective it will all work out in the end.
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