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quote:
From Clem:
There's a varmit here. It's that EpMug fella with his lineo-rotary bat chunkin' idears. He dun stirred up yourn juices and got yur pucker facter all twisted in knotts!!!!
Ya'll just gotta remember, "Be the ball !!!!"
quote:
From Clem:
Ya r'member Alfie? He's yur 3rd cussin on anttie Fay's side of the crick. His real names George, but he only sez "Whaat??" n'madder whatcha asked him so cense he dunno whatits 'bout, we jest calld him Alfie.
Anyway, Alfie was wurkin on reedin that book by EpMugs 'bout line-mower hittin (or sum sech thang). Rufus took him out t'wards the south-40 to heave sum rocks and see what Alfie could do withem.
Rufus has one of them "banjo" arms. Granny Hicks calls it a "banjo" arm cuz he could make sum loose change heaving rocks at squirrls, like gettin tips from playin a "banjo" in front of the licker stor. Rufus heaves them pretty hard.
Alfie started whackin them rocks all over the place. Rufus tole me he culdn't tell if he was line hittin or lawn-mower hittin so he kept heavin the rocks til it got too dark. Then he thunked Alfie upside then noggin cuz Alfie couldn't see the clod commin atim.
When Alfie *** 'bout, they askt him if he was line hittin or mower hittin... Alfie had this here EpMug book in his pocket, but he never got much past page 2. *** to see that Alfie just looks at the drawings and stuff. So we dunno if it was from EpMug or MugWart (Alfie's in to that Pottery stuff too).
They looked at the knot on Alfie's haid as figure, it being so hard an all that Rufus must have one of dem rocket arms so he's going ta walk ta town and throw ginst the troopers radar. I shore hope he hits the radar and misses the trooper this time. He just got off his manslatter charge from the last time he tried this. They say is saffer 'cuz the have this herern stuffed rock that don't hurt so bad.
Cuzzin Will says he needs 3 quarts next week.
quote:
Originally posted by cvsting:
Look we go through this same thing every year, no baseball to watch, coach or play.
Tempers start flairng on here and everybody's tolerance of one another starts to get tested.
quote:
From Vinnie:
heah now, don't youz guys know the trouble's in tha throwin'. Youz can't throw tha ball unless youz get loaded.
Some goobahs tryin load their scapulahs, others load the front sides and jump acha, others their back sides and fall acha.
I load my 45. It works much bettah.
quote:
Originally posted by CADad:
H3,
I think David Wells had a different idea about what Vinnie meant when he said you had to get loaded before throwing.
quote:
from Clem:
Yeah, I knowed this Wells fella. My sis Emma upt an married him cuz she seen a money truck wid his name on it so she figgured he'd be rich or sumthin .. found out he wernt from tha money side.
She sewed him up at the devorce tryin to get the truck. Figured id make a gud vacashun place bein on weels and all. His pardner (I figur) kept da truck... his name was on it too ..... Far-go ...dunno how fir a piece he hadda go.
We got the 3 quarts, but Sadie needs 2 gallins to lite up the holiday hog. aftern it gits lit up, we see if wez gonna let it zobber down or hold a match to it pilot hole. bestest BBQ you ever had.
(You must not misquote vinnie)
quote:
Originally posted by cong:
It is not goobah, it is goombah...
Isn't a goobah a peanut?
quote:
Originally posted by AParent:
Phoenix Dad
You're either having a great day or you're totally loaded today - whichever, I sure did enjoy your posts.
quote:
Holiday Turkey Recipe:
Ingredients:
1 fairly willing turkey, live, best if well-fed
1 gallon Holiday Hog Lighting up juice
2 quarts of Miller Beer (or Smith, Brown, Jones ... we aren't too choosey)
17 Peppercorns
1 Glue gun
A generous helping of Paprika
28 ounces of unwashed dry black beans
1 bottle Bicarbonate of Soda
A blowgun
1 hosepipe
A section of netting from the local driving range.
4 Anvils
Instructions:
1. Drink first bottle of beer to get up your nerve.
2. Place the beans in a pot and barely cover them with the 2nd quart of beer. This will be the "Stuffing mix".
3. If there is any left in the bottle, you can finish it off.
4. Anesthetize turkey with 1 cup of Holiday Hog mix. Insert a hosepipe down it's gullet.
5. Coat the Peppercorns with the Paprika.
6. For each 1 1/2 ounces of beered up beans you shove down the sedated turkey's hose pipe, insert one peppercorn gas stopper in the other end using the blowgun.
7. After completing the stuffing, you can apply the heat now.
8. Mix the bicarb with the remaining Holiday Hog Elixer
9. Funnel the mixture into the Turkey.
10. Once complete, seal off the hose with the glue gun, but leave the hose in place (you need to be able to get out some of the stuffing.
Wait about 45 minutes. It's better if the bird is cooked outside. It's best if it's cooked on either public property or someones property who isn't a close friend or family member.
Being careful never to stand directly behind your dinner, place the netting on poles directly in front of the future meal and attach it to the anvils in order to weight it down.
Once the last "stopper" is fired off, the scorching flame should complete roasting the bird from the inside out in record time. Do not give more than 1 - 2 ounces of the dressing to any minors since there might be some residual "propellant" left.
quote:
Dear Ann Landers:
This season, we have a huge problem. The two sides of the family have agreed to meet somewhere in the middle an my home has been chosen. All forms of weapons, sharp implements and associated items of torture, mayhem and dismemberment will be identified via metal detector at the door. We learned alot since the last time we tried this.
Since the violence seems to be resolved, we still have two major issues. Communication and food. Not wanting to subject myself to 44 hours of "Dukes of Hazard meet The Sopranos", I figure if I feed them constantly (not normally a problem on either side of the family) then the communication goes away (except for an occasional muffled "pass the butter" as bits of corn bread and/or roll splatter the air.
The primi and secondi piatti are fine but I have major difficulties when I get to the Contorni (Side Dishes) .... (Translation for the other side of the family ... I know what I'm going to heave on the plates, but I'm having a problem with the finger-licking foods).
How do I decide between Ravioli and Chitlins?
Does anyone have any recipes that cover ingredients?
For some strange reason, foodtv.com has been absolutely no help. I've even watched 17 episodes of Iron Chef and have seen both ingredients but never together .....
Sincerely:
"In Mortal Danger in Carolinas"
