Your son's goals

For me it was his choice, his goal.

Did it work--I think so--played major D-1 ball got a degree and went on with his life--he knew the odds of his making it even signing as a free agent upon graduation--I dont think there are any regrets, even to this day

Good question...I like to think about this stuff.

I always like to try and keep my son's focus on whats right in front of him...i.e. the near-term goal. "You should do this to ensure you make your HS team," and "Lets work a little harder on your changeup so you can make varsity next year."

But I also like to dangle the "dream" in front of him too. "You know, if you can get your velocity up over the next few years, maybe you can play college ball." Or "if you can make that select team, then I think you'll get a shot at some D1 schools."

"Goals" and "Dreams," we try to keep them separated as I believe you have to have attainable goals in order to reach your dreams. To put it another way...to me "goals" are the rungs on the ladder and the "dream" is reaching the roof...and he's lucky enough, he'll have a multi-story house before he's finished with this.

Good point, dream vs goal.

Goals take hard work and commitment.

Dreams, no action required.

Funny this topic would come up. My son has recently been working with a team mate and his father during winter. The father talked to the boys about goal setting. My son took this to heart and has set several goals, short term and long term. His idea. My job is to encourage and help in anyway I can. His obvious long term goal is to be pro (he's almost 12) but he had other goals he was working toward first (increase batting average, better pitching). I was surprised though that his most serious goal was to make varsity as a freshman. He discussed how he had 2 1/2 years and what he was going to do to accomplish that goal. Knowing Zack, he will work his tail off to do that. Another great situation where baseball will help teach about necessary life skills for the future.

Both of my sons (musician and athlete) determined what their goals would be. After all, it was their passion that was to form the foundation of that; not mine.

Instead, I tried to help them appreciate the fact that merely being passionate about something and having some innate talent were often insufficient to achieve one's goals; that consistent, determined effort was the key to achievement. Fortunately, both took the lesson to heart and applied it; and, as a result, each has a better shot at living their dream than they might otherwise.

I use to worry about whether my son was setting proper goals both academically and with his BB, but in baseball goals simplify themselves in a hurry.

For example, as a pitcher, after a while it gets down to just trying to having a good practice eg., working on maintaining thorough correctness in the discipline of two aspects in throwing a curve ball, maintining a slight flex in the elbow at release, and rotating the thumb and middle finger, not the wrist...just doing that correctly can take years to master.

...and for most BB players in academics its about maintining eligibility to play.

If you can have a good game, eg., hit your spots, and get a win, then practice had some meaning. But if not, you know that your level of practice is not meeting the level of your competition...that's how simple this can be.

I've told my son, keep it simple and work to the level needed to get wins, why? Because its no fun losing.

Get wins...the rest takes care of itself.

quote:

by the Prepster: After all, it was their passion that was to form the foundation of that; not mine.

amen to that

I keep it simple too, at the age of 22 mine needs parents for support (not monetary, lol), advice, and a roof & food when he comes home.
the support & advice are always there when he asks, occasionally when he doesn't - but setting goals & life planning are HIS responsibility - -

Goals are to be created by the person who sets out to achieve them. As a parent, I believe my role is to create the best environment for my son to reach his objectives. Like so many, his goal is to become a major league player. He works toward that goal avery day. That is probably the goal for all of our sons who play baseball with passion. So I give him every tool I can to help him along them way. But as parents, we have to maintain the necessary grounding and keep it all in perspective. The odds of achieving MLB are miniscule. So the homework, the quizzes and tests are part of the package. If he wants to go to the gym or go hitting, great, as long as the homework is done properly. Got a game, great, make sure you're home right after to study for the physics test. Over the past 4 years I've spoken with his teachers more than I've spoken to his baseball coach. While his goal is MLB, mine is to do everything I can to ensure a happy and productive future for him, baseball or not. The result to date is a substantial scholarship to a great academic university and the chance baseball in the ACC. I will always support him as he works toward his goal, but I made sure he did the things he needed to do to help me achieve my goal for him.

Fungo--I am curious. What are YOUR son's goals? Does he have long-term goals OTHER than MLB? Or is his total goal-driven focus on MLB? The reason I ask, is that we are taught that goals should be realistic. Does he ever take into account the "what if" he does not make it in MLB--or does that possibility not ever enter his mind-set? Thanks.

I am proud that my kids have had goals for themselves. As parents we have the responsibility to support, direct and provide the vehicle or means to help them attain their goals. We have had to be there for the times when the direction changes.

I like this thread and like that it comes up from time to time.
My son's ultimate goal is to be a business owner one day. His dream is to play MLB.
It was hard for him to seperate the two, growing up, until this year. He feels that if his dream comes true, he will be able to achieve his goal. Some see it the other way around. In the end, it's where you get to and what brought you there.
Lot of people say why bother to go to college if you want to play baseball. Reality is, very few get the opportunity, to really make it to MLB. Completeing most of his education before he reaches his dream will pay off for him one day, hopefully.
Of course one does not need a degree to be a business owner, or successful. I personally feel it is an integral part of the whole plan.

This is something that has been expressed over and over to him by his coaches, while he might make it to the next level, it might not sustain him forever. I think they are more important in making son realize this than we are, at this point. It is important that as our children pass from adolescence to adulthood that others be there to guide them, not us, to help in reaching goal/dream, dream/goal. JMO.

The whole philosophy behind the game is the challenge, the competition, teamwork, over coming disappointments, working towards your personal best. I am realizing now that if one embraces that philososphy, our kids will be winners, on and off the field.

JT,
I forgot to answer though I know you directed your question to Fungo.

My feeling is that as they become older, playing at different levels, reality sets in that baseball is VERY hard work, after college it is a profession, a job. Being prepared to face the reality that this may not be the profession for you to continue becomes clearer at 21,22 than at 10,12, etc.

One way to look at it is from my perspective:

My goal is to one day be a journalist or work in international relations. My baseball goal? Play as long and as hard and as much as possible. Whether I play HS and play small college ball, whether that's D-1, 2, or 3, and whatever career develops after that. The nice thing about having a career plan besides baseball is that no matter what happens to me on the field, I'll have gone all-out and have other options waiting. A goal is just a dream w/ a deadline.

JT,

Obviously can't speak for Fungo or his son regarding goals but...

He was drafted "twice" in a high enough round that I'm positive the club that drafted him has the "goal" of young Fungo contributing to the Major League Club! So it better be realistic for him to feel that way! Sorry if I'm wrong about that.

My kids had dreams and goals. My only goal was for them to end up being healthy and happy.

My advice to them was always the same... Most good things don't happen accidently... If you want it bad enough, work your as* off to get it!

Who said dreams or goals have to be realistic? If that were the case, this world would be much different today and not for the better!

Of course, goals do need to be adjusted from time to time... But I'm a big believer in Shooting for the Moon!

I should add... If someone is not strong enough to overcome disappointment... they probably should not set extremely high goals or dream the impossible dream.

Thanks, PG and TPM. I'm still interested in a pro-player's dad perspective.

Now, to answer the original question. My son's goal is baseball-focused. He wants to play college ball "somewhere." He knows what he needs to work on (hitting) to achieve that goal, so much of his focus is towards that end. He also knows that as a D-III likely player, he needs to keep his grades up so he can get academic money. Ultimately, he would like to coach, so he is looking at schools with a Sports Management/Coaching emphasis.

quote:

Thanks, PG and TPM. I'm still interested in a pro-player's dad perspective.

That's what I tried to give you! Only it was my perspective rather than Fungo's. Hopefully Fungo will join in with his thoughts.

JT, A little insight on mine. When he returned home, a local paper did a very nice article about his year and life in minor league baseball. At the end, he was asked how long he would do this. The response: "Until they tell me I can't."
From a discussion we had the other night, he knows/recognizes that message can come at any time and uses it to motivate himself to work harder, get bigger and stronger...and play more positions.
His longer term goal is definitely baseball related. Will most likely try college coaching if there isn't something he can find professionally, I think he has some potential and some talent to pursue coaching. To this point, all we have said to him is pursue his goal and dream as far as he can go and we will support him.
BTW, playing AAA baseball into your 30's is not unusual now and is actually pretty decent money. Have learned that players can earn upwards of $10,000 per month for the 6 months, which wouldn't be too terrible.

JT,
I think your son has a very workable plan. I'm sure you have a lot of experience to where you can HELP HIM fine tune his plan. I agree with PGStaff when he says: “let ‘em shoot for the moon!” if they choose to do so. I never told my son to change his goals or I never said he needed to have a particular goal but we have had many discussions about his goals. I usually make suggestions about what I think he might have to do to obtain a particular goal. I think his goal since he was 12-13 was to play professionally. By the time he was 14-15 I felt pretty sure he had enough natural talent to play professionally but at that stage you don’t know if they have the desire and commitment. It could have gone either way (college or pro) coming out of high school but considering everything including money, we agree he needed to mature in college and would some education to fall back on when he quit playing. Looking back and knowing the challenges he faced in college, I can say now that he made the right decision when he went to college. Rest assured he never abandoned his goal of playing professionally when he went to college and college ultimatley helped bring his professional goal into focus.
Josh still hasn’t developed a real play “B” but he says he wants to go back and get his degree. His pro contract is such that he will be able to do this as long as his personal life doesn’t make any drastic changes like a wife and kids. He has toyed with the idea of either coaching or starting a baseball academy but I personally see him as being more qualified as a male model for AE or Old Navy or possibly a marketing support representative for products like Nintendo/Xbox/IPod. Seriously I don't see a problem with a young player being focused on a professional career in baseball. In order for a player to MAKE that happen, he HAS to be focused!
Fungo
PS: If you're focused on more than one thing...You ain't focused.

"I personally see him as being more qualified as a male model for AE or Old Navy or possibly a marketing support representative for products like Nintendo/Xbox/IPod."

Oh how funny, can relate.



I think that the important thing is that we realize that each of ours are unique, they go about reaching their goals/dreams differently.

I just can never remember my son saying anything he would like to do other than be a baseball player, now he has seriously settled into a major at school. Of course the hand was forced because that is what you have to do, but he did put thought into it, for now at least.

PG Posted:
"My advice to them was always the same... Most good things don't happen accidently... If you want it bad enough, work your as* off to get it!

Who said dreams or goals have to be realistic? If that were the case, this world would be much different today and not for the better!

Of course, goals do need to be adjusted from time to time... But I'm a big believer in Shooting for the Moon!

I should add... If someone is not strong enough to overcome disappointment... they probably should not set extremely high goals or dream the impossible dream."


PG - beautiful post. I couldn't agree more. I think people that can't deal with disappointment can set all the goals they want, but typically won't achieve them because life is full of setbacks. I've learned over my 40 something years, that tremendous growth can occur from challenges and disappointments helping you obtain that journey to the moon.

Fungo - I have thought about your question before. I personally think that as long as my kids have a goal and are working their as* off as PG says, I'll be there to help them. This includes son's baseball goals.

I guess I should have worded it differently...
...goals should be ATTAINABLE (at least that's what the "experts" tell us).

Anyhow, very interesting to hear the perpectives from the parents of the guys climbing the ladder in pro ball. I can think of few things more exciting as a dad to get that special phone call when the son gets "THE call" to the bigs. Good luck to all the son's that are on their way up--and to Zack and OPP who are already there.

My sons goal at age 10 was to become a hall of fame player. He still has no doubt he will play in the major leagues. I once asked him the "what if you don't make it?" question and I was told to get my head on straight. (There is only a plan B if there is an injury) His short term goals are to do what he needs to do today to reach tomorrows goal.
Many people thought he was unrealistic.. I think to reach his goal he needs this belief in himself

njbb - anyone that thinks your son's goals are unrealistic needs to get their heads on straight. Saw today where he's in the top 20 prospects in the pioneer league! Congrats - he's achieved a goal that many young men are aiming for. Now on to the next one for him.

I really am enjoying this thread. It is amazing (being a newbee to this site) to hear each of you discuss how your particular child fell in love with the game of baseball and each of you supported their dream. I find myself in a similar position, very few people I speak with personally in my everyday travels can understand fully supporting a dream such as playing professional baseball for a young man. It seems so far out of the realm of possibility that the view is almost that you do a disservice to your son by encouraging him to continue to goal set with his ultimate dream in mind. I must say that the goal of playing baseball has turned him into a better student, achieving academic goals that he set for himself...much higher then I ever would have imagined him achiving (straight A's freshman and so far sophmore years). I knew my son had God given talent, and that he is willing to work hard, and he has a great attitude(much better then mine)so I encourage him and try to find opportunities for him to learn to play the game correctly (I never played organized sports). I help him keep his dream alive. It is gratifying to hear that that is how each of you appear to nurture your atheletes as well.

Great topic

My oldest boy's goal was to be a 1st round draft choice and a major league player. Then came that fateful day, a month before the draft that he blew out his arm. The first round was out and the major league seemed a mile away. He immediately made his goal the surgery and the rehab that took place. His focus changed from the future to the particular day and task that he had to accomplish in his rehab. His goal became straightening his arm to throwing 30 feet to 60 feet etc. There was no talk of the majors. Even after he made his first professional start in rookie ball, the only talk was of the next start. He's home now for Christmas and the conversation is spring training. Now the dream is the majors, the goal is to be the best he can be today. His new motto is "We plan, God laughs."

My 11 year old was asked by me one day on the way to baseball practice what his goal was. He stated "I want to have thousands of people at my funeral." As a parent I worried about the reference to his death. I ask why would you want that. He stated "if that many people show up, then I've made a difference in a lot of people's lives."

I don't know what will happen with each of them but I'm confident that they will be able to handle whatever comes their way.

Great thread! My two sons both have lofty goals, one in music and the other in baseball, and I sometimes wonder why neither one has a more realistic goal - you know, like a real job - but still my husband and I have never discouraged them from pursuing their dreams.

Before my 04 attended his first and only showcase, he filled out his personal profile to be sent back to Perfect Game. I was a little surprised when I saw that for "Goal" he had written: "College baseball, then drafted". I already knew that that was what was in his heart, but before we sent it in, I told him that he might want to think about whether that was really what he wanted to write. Anyone in the world could look up his profile online, and there might be some who would think that was a very foolish answer considering his progress at that point.

He said he didn't care, it was the honest truth and he wasn't changing it. Didn't change the profile answer and hasn't changed the goal almost 3 years later. He's playing college baseball, and while professional ball is still his dream and his ultimate goal, he focuses more of his attention on shorter term goals for baseball improvement. And of course he works hard at Plan B, the college degree. I think he would make a very good baseball coach some day, but he also has some other career possibilities in mind that could possibly intersect with the world of baseball.

JT,

Please excuse me for poking my nose in about your earlier commment, but I don't think anyone else has mentioned this yet: You replied above that you were looking for the pro player's parent perspective (say that five times fast, haha!) ... you might not know that PGStaff's son has played professionally for many years, including MLB. So he was also offering a PPPP.

MN-Mom,

Thank you, it gets frustrating when people look at you like all you do is one thing. I received a somewhat disappointing (to me) email from someone I do not know. The message… That I should stick to talking about showcases rather than other stuff. Hope everyone takes the following the right way. I did have a life before ever hearing about showcases. And also had a life aside from showcases.

I do feel what we do is very important, but I hate to be recognized as a Showcase Organizer. It seems so small and insignificant in some ways! I didn’t spend 40 years involved in college and professional baseball so that I could some day become a Showcase Promoter. Not even sure how it ended up that way. Don’t get me wrong, I like what we do. It’s really fun and makes you feel good when people benefit from your efforts. I just don’t like the words Showcase Promoter.

On this great site, my only purpose is to add a voice that has a little experience and maybe help a few people along the way. Also, I have truly enjoyed getting to know a lot of good baseball people through this site. Most important is getting to know so many real nice people who share my passion for baseball and for helping the many young kids and older kids, who play or are interested in the game.
,
People like Fungo, OPP, njbb, justbaseball, Bee>, prepster, TPM, BaseballDad, bbscout, BigHit, Moc1, hsbaseballweb, MN-Mom, its, CoachMerc, infielddad, ramrod, TR, and so many others (way too many to name them all) these people don’t contribute here for the purpose of promoting anything. Their sons have accomplished what many others who post here are striving for. They don’t need to promote. Neither do I!

From a baseball parents stand point, I have some experience and don’t mind sharing if it could help others. If nobody wants it, I’d have no problem at all keeping quiet about it. I have made many mistakes and done some things right. I’ve always told my kids… Lots of people learn from their own mistakes… The smartest people learn from those mistakes that others make! Perhaps, that is what a few smart people might do right here on the HSBBW.

I had experienced a lot in baseball, been a player, been a college coach, been a scout, written manuals, etc., but being a parent of a couple baseball players was a new experience and one that no one could possibly fully prepare for. I had no problem teaching the game, but there is so much more involved in being a parent. Guess you just learn as you go and hope you say and do the right things. I have said and done some things the wrong way!

I’ve had two sons who played college and professional baseball. One of them actually pitched in the Major Leagues for three different clubs –Yankees – Diamondbacks – Brewers! He has been operated on, traded, released, drafted in first round of expansion draft, had many team mates and friends who are among the most recognized baseball names of the past decade. He has spent 12 years in pro ball, 6 of those years between Triple A and the Big Leagues. Some neat stuff, some huge disappointments, some highlights, some lowlights! He has had TJ surgery and shoulder surgery, in fact if it were me, I think I’d have called it quits a while back. In 2004 he spent most of the year in the Big Leagues. He spent 2005 rehabbing an injury and did not play. He wants to comeback and try it again this year. His main dream and goal since 12 or 13 years old was to be a professional baseball player. He has done that and it still isn’t enough to satisfy him. He wasn’t very good when he first started dreaming. I thought it was the impossible dream… He didn’t think so! I ended up learning something!

I’m not very smart, but I think I have a good feel for what other parents are going through. I’m no hotshot or self proclaimed expert and I’m aware that there is more than one way to be successful. I would like to think I have more to offer than just being a Showcase Promoter. I think it’s great that so many others who have experienced so much, contribute here and are willing to share their thoughts and opinions. It’s so obvious that these people share that passion for the game and the kids. For example consider “Bee>”… He has a very talented son and I’m sure Bee has had many good and not so good experiences in baseball. Doubt if most here even know that young “Bee” was a starting catcher at Georgia Tech. because Bee doesn’t mention it. Bet he would tell us all, just like many others on here, that he has learned a lot over the past 4 or 5 years. I don’t recall a single post that was only about his son, but lots of posts that could help others if they are paying attention! That’s the main reason most of us are here… To learn a few things and at the same time to help others when possible. And of course to have some fun and share a laugh once in awhile. Those who are on here for other reasons stand out like an Elephant in a Chicken Coop!

Please remember, it's not about age brackets, DI, DII, DIII, or Pro. It might be named the highschool baseball web, but baseball is loved at all levels and it is unselfishly shared by so many, right here.

Thanks for reading and thanks for all that I've been able to learn from so many of you. And thanks for all the laughs and the entertainment.

Great Thread,
Along with PG, my only desire with respect to sports participation, has been that, well planned, hard work, will lead to success.
I have him post his goals, athletic and academic, on his bedroom door. I tell him that every day when you wakeup they will remind you of your purpose, and at night before he sleeps he can recount the days efforts and decide for himself whether or not he was successful.
I'm waiting for autopilot to kick in!!
Steve

Thats a heart felt post and is right on the money.
I have taken a lot of what I have learned here and from my son's freshman year and posted it on a Canadian Site. I know PG has posted there before. Most Canadian ball players don't have the information they need to enter into US college ball.
This site has given some great insites that I have passed along to these young ball players.

PG, it's always good to hear what you have to say, thanks for sharing your experience & perspectives from inside baseball - they are often "way cool"
regarding good & not so good experiences, it seems that disappointments are inevitable along the way, forunatly they've just served to intensify the focus.

and I'll pass along your greetings to "young Bee"


btw, you did startle me a bit (lol, CPR?), but after re-checking his academic standing and his coach's comments, I'll offer a small correction to your post

"young “Bee” was a is the starting catcher at Georgia Tech"
Go Jackets


Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays to the PG Family



.

Sorry about that Bee.

Please tell Andy hi from all of us.

Merry Christmas

As usual...great post PGStaff. I am always drawn to your posts for all of the down-to-earth wisdom in them.

Have a Wonderful Chistmas!

quote:

"young “Bee” ... is the starting catcher at Georgia Tech"

S-c-a-r-y...VERY scary!


PG: Another truly memorable post.

Thanks for the great post, PG, and for the inside information about his sons. Dang. I thought all he did was run a showcase...


(just kidding, folks, just kidding)

Seriously, I appreciate what you bring to the HSBBW table, PG. It's all about the players, with you, and that's great. You do a great job separating your posts from your company, and offer great information to all of us without trying to sell something.

PG,

It was mentioned in another post that you were one of our best writers and you politely disagreed. Your post here just proves the point about great writing. When you write from the heart, it can be nothing but good. Classic post.

PG,
Thanks, great post. I am editing to tell you that I too am sorry that you received that email.

Not much to say after your post, other than I too was wondering about young Bee!

Prepster, definetly scary thought, have already warned son to BEE careful!

Goals ARE important. Our role as parents it to somehow teach our kids how to set goals, and how to work towards reaching them. It is their role in life to choose those goals.

Now, why in the heck do we expect those goals to be attainable? Do we actually EXPECT our kids to reach every goal they set?

Anyhow, I truly belive it is possible to be successful without attaining ones goals.

Success - certainly for a ball player playing MLB - would be a justifiable measure of success.

Another form of success - a kid who wasn't blessed with the 5 tools, putting out every effort to make himself into the best ball player he can possibly be.

A kid who plays many years and has great memories of baseball to pass on to the next generation of young ballplayers.

His last at bat may have been in high school, JUCO, college, the minors or even a single at bat in the big leagues - you see it really doesn't matter.

If he can look back on those years of doing what he loves and not regret a moment of it -that is what determines he was successful - not the final destination.

PGStaff,

I am genuinely sorry that you received an unkind e-mail as a result of participating here. Of course I don't know who sent it, but whoever it was must not have been reading these forums for very long.

Most members of this site could say this after participating for just a few weeks: PGStaff offers SO MUCH to the discussions! I know from the public and private comments of many, many other posters, that when PGStaff speaks, people listen, because he has so much to offer from his experience - not primarily as the owner of the world's top baseball scouting/showcase organization, although that's pretty cool - but as a baseball guy for four decades!

Thank you, PGStaff, for being part of the HSBBWeb!