Angry parents/kids

Is this a private school?   I am assuming if a 2027, that he is in 8th grade.

In our state, you can only play 4 years of varsity baseball.  8th graders in middle school can play JV, but not varsity, unless they sit out their senior year (coaches know this and don't play 8th graders on varsity).

Sit back and relax.  The better players will make the team, and the best will play.

Edited:  there will always be grumbling:  Making the team, playing time, etc.  Sit way down the 1st or 3rd baselines and avoid the chatter.

It's a shame that parents/kids would get angry at this stuff.

What they should do is come out to watch a practice to see why the coach made that decision.

Ignore is how you deal with it, if they are that talented it's not the first time this will happen.

showing up to watch practice is on the short list of terrible ideas a varsity athletes parent can have...there is nothing but bad that can happen. for you, the coach, your son and the team. just mind-blowingly terrible. IMO of course

My son and his friend were the only sophomores on a strong varsity squad. At an early season game, we were losing and the coach puts both boys in. I hear parents saying, “why would he put in the sophomores??? What is he doing ?”  They hit back to back doubles to tie the game.
In short, you don’t say anything. If they deserve to be there, they will stay and eventually the talk will stop. It  gives you insight on how to treat young players and their parents when your son is an upperclassman.

Thanks, it just a shame. it is only practice.  Public school not private.

They will be on the freshman team this year.

@Dadof3 posted:

They will be on the freshman team this year.

We went through the same thing, 3 players and my son. However, they wanted to remain on the freshman team to help their friends and play multiple positions. Coach relented and called them up as needed.

Not one player had a problem, they were happy for the guys. They are life long friends.

On the other hand some parents made comments but it was clear that these 4 could play on varsity.

Winning cures all hard feelings.

JMO

@keewart posted:

Sit back and relax.  The better players will make the team, and the best will play.

Sit way down the 1st or 3rd baselines and avoid the chatter.

I’ll take this is reverse order:

The better players will make the team, and the best will play - I do think that this is normally true, but not always.  There are some crazy situations out there.  The real question is, how do you know if you are in a crazy situation? Or you’re just a parent letting their biases get the best of them?  In summer ball when coaches or recruiters ask where the player plays in HS, the majority of them react in a very negative manner and at best just say “sorry about that”. You are in a crazy situation.

Sit back and relax; sit way down the baseline and avoid chatter - this is exactly how you handle a healthy situation or a crazy situation (unless there is an obvious situation that calls for parent intervention).  These situations always work themselves out. Maybe not how we would like them to be worked out.  The journey might be rough but the ending outcome usually works out about right.

@baseballhs posted:

My son and his friend were the only sophomores on a strong varsity squad. At an early season game, we were losing and the coach puts both boys in. I hear parents saying, “why would he put in the sophomores??? What is he doing ?”  They hit back to back doubles to tie the game.
In short, you don’t say anything. If they deserve to be there, they will stay and eventually the talk will stop. It  gives you insight on how to treat young players and their parents when your son is an upperclassman.

Similar situation with my son. My son was put on the varsity team his freshman year (covid year). The team was loaded and was projected to contend for the state title. In the first tournament of the season, coach put him on the mound to start a game. That didn't sit well with some of the senior parents. Then the last day of the tournament coach started him in the outfield. Made a really nice grab, laid down a sac bunt in a crucial situation against a ranked opponent, and just missed jacking one out of the yard. From that point on, he was in the regular rotation of innings on the mound and was playing outfield. We heard the rumblings every game. We ended up sitting on our own in the stands, away from the rest of the parents. Interestingly enough, the parents who actually understood and would talked to us was the parents of the player who got drafted in the first round that year. They got it as their son had gone through the same thing his freshman year. We talk about it now with my son. He said some of those old teammates he has ran into have said how mad they were when he was put on varsity and started taking "their" playing time. We have lost close friends because my son developed at a different rate than their kid and we were looked upon as being "too good" because he went and played with more advanced teams. At some point you just say it is what it is, do what is best for your kid, block out all the noise and go on with life. When I see some of those former friends now I just kill them with kindness because I know everything that has happened has been justified.

The politics of HS baseball can be a shock to the system if you aren’t prepared for it. The experience for my 2 sons that played HS baseball in North Texas was very different for each but both were rife with political issues. FWIW each played in different 6A (highest class) programs. In both cases there were players on the field that didn’t belong and players on the bench that should have been on the field. Other commonalities were that neither program cut seniors, seniority played over younger talent in some (but not all) situations, and the booster club parents had way too much influence over what happened in the program. Both schools also had young “new school” coaches that were the last person to arrive at the field and the first to leave. Neither of the two HS HCs that my sons played for knew the game well enough to teach it. I found the first go around to be very frustrating. With my youngest son I had learned some things thru previous mistakes and did much better. But I will never forget things that were done by adults that intentionally hurt my kids in their attempts to advance their own kids. Truly reprehensible.

There are some states where it is allowed.  In SC, you can start 6 years of varsity ball from 7th grade on.

HS baseball has its ups and downs, that's for sure.  I am very thankful not to have had a bad situation like some described.  My son and 2 other freshmen were put on varsity.  We had no idea how any of it worked, so we didn't know what to think or how to behave or where to sit.  The first half of the season he didn't play, that was the most awkward part - we really didn't know what was happening.  We didn't know any of the upperclassmen parents, so we didn't hear any comments, and, we didn't run into the parents of the non-varsity freshmen, so we didn't hear their comments either.  The second half he started, by then I guess people were used to us.  In hindsight, I think the coach made them a cohort on purpose, and they seemed to fit in with the team pretty well.  Junior and senior year they were co-captains of a good team.  So coach knew what he was doing, even if he didn't explain it to the boys or parents.

The funny thing was, before the season son was practicing with the varsity.  We asked, does that mean you are playing on varsity?  He didn't know!  We didn't even know which schedule to put on the calendar, until the season started.  We never talked to the coach about it, in hindsight that was kind of strange - in later years I heard coach explaining to other parents his plans for their freshmen.

@Dadof3 posted:

My friends son is a 2027 kid who is asked to practice with the varsity team - just practice.  And he is only one of two or three, how would the parent of this kid and the kid deal with any blow back? in a big school and there will be a number of cuts

You don't give a choice because of play. My son was called up to varsity mid-way through season. Coach delt with it by playing a senior when it didn't matter and the kid when it did. He was really senior oriented but at the end of the day did want to win.

I can only suggest you worry about the things you can control and be supportive to the team regardless of the politics.

First game sophomore season my son was starting at third (after not making JV his freshman season). A senior teammate's mother sat next to me and said "No clue why coach has your son on the field, there are better options." Some sports parents get lost in the genetically driven mama/papa bear thing, I smiled and told her I had no clue either.

I don't think you can get through 4 years of HS sports drama free, the goal for me was to have way more fun than frustration.

In middle school a bunch of Pop Warner parents were upset my son had never played organized football and started his first game. Most football parents didn’t know who I was. I sat there, took in all the insults and enjoyed watching my son play.

In 8th grade my son was invited to practice with the varsity baseball team a few times. The current junior shortstop was a good ball player. He went on to play mid major as an outfielder. He was a horrible shortstop. I believe my son was invited to practice with the varsity to put pressure on him the following year. It got back to me the word was the best defensive shortstop (my son) was only in middle school.

In reality, the varsity coach had no intention of having my son start at short freshman year. He didn’t believe in freshmen playing varsity. He was the last varsity cut. He played JV and walked into the short job soph year. He was the first soph to start opening day in six years. There were displeased parents.

A couple were thrilled and screamed at him when he was picked off first to end the season. They missed the post season by one game. These two parents completely overlooked his two out, two rbi single made it 6-5. My son was fast. Everyone in the park knew he wa going. The pitcher caught him leaning for the third out. They completely overlooked he had already been named all conference.

Because I was a known travel coach the high school coaches chatted with me. It was general baseball talk. It was never about my son. But, that’s not what was said in all the rumors.

I was on the youth sports board and the baseball and basketball committees as my kids were growing up.. I was accustomed to the rumors I was influencing situations. All you can do is ignore the noise.

@Dadof3 posted:

My friends son is a 2027 kid who is asked to practice with the varsity team - just practice.  And he is only one of two or three, how would the parent of this kid and the kid deal with any blow back? in a big school and there will be a number of cuts

My 2022 was one of two freshman who practiced with the varsity team when they were freshman.  The other kid landed on JV. My son ended up starting on varsity as a freshman. This was a time when freshman almost never made varsity at our school. All the other freshman made the freshman team.

Many of the freshman parents who we knew when our kids played together at middle school or in rec, all of a sudden, stopped saying hello to us at the field. And, many of the parents of sophomores and juniors were not welcoming...at first. One dad actually came up to me, introduced himself and said "You know your boy jumped over a lot of kids who have been putting in their time."

Very quickly, the parents of the juniors and seniors became friendly once they saw my kid play. The freshman parents continued with the cold shoulder thing because they just couldn't understand why their kids were on freshman.

Fast forward to junior year. Many of those kids were now varsity players. And, all of a sudden people were saying hello again when seeing us at the field.

Sports parents are an interesting breed. I don't think most of them are intentionally that way. They just can't help themselves.

My son was a pitcher/3rd baseball as a freshman. Third on JV, pitched varsity. That annoyed some people that he was taking positions on two teams. We avoided the discussion as much as possible, but I do remember that whenever I posted something on FB or anywhere about a good win, I always made sure to mention at least one or two other players.

ie—so fun to see Indianola pick up another win. Awesome HR by Joe Smith, and great play at short by Brenden. Duncan picked up the win and struck out six. What a great team victory.

@old_school posted:

showing up to watch practice is on the short list of terrible ideas a varsity athletes parent can have...there is nothing but bad that can happen. for you, the coach, your son and the team. just mind-blowingly terrible. IMO of course

Agreed.  The only thing I can think of that is worse is to go full camo, setup a hunting tree stand with binoculars in the woods to watch your son at high school tryouts.   True story.   I know a guy......

This crossed over from angry to crazy.

Good feedback.  So far everything has gone well for the kid and his parents.  I guess this wasn't much of a surprise by any of the kids either.

@fenwaysouth posted:

Agreed.  The only thing I can think of that is worse is to go full camo, setup a hunting tree stand with binoculars in the woods to watch your son at high school tryouts.   True story.   I know a guy......

This crossed over from angry to crazy.

True story?

I know of a team that literally puts up yellow caution tape every year around the perimeter of fields for tryouts to try to keep parents at a distance.

And so it begins here with rumors of freshmen being asked to try out for the higher level teams.  Parents of the other freshmen will be thrilled to have these boys out of the mix, while parents of the older students likely will not...

Francis7,

100% true.  My former neighbor just couldn't get enough high school baseball.

@fenwaysouth posted:

Francis7,

100% true.  My former neighbor just couldn't get enough high school baseball.

People....

Years ago, the guy down the street was the coach of the town 11U B-team. It really was an F-Troop of a team. I remember his son telling me once (at the Little League field) that the father of one of the kids on the travel team - overzealous guy who way mistakenly thought his kid was going to go pro - one time sat in his parked car outside the coach's house because he thought the coach was running another team behind his back and wasn't including his son. He wanted to catch him in the act of leaving his house.

Yes, at 11U. Two years later, the gonna go pro kid was done with baseball.

And no one on that B-team made their HS team and most quit "travel ball" by the time they were 15.

@fenwaysouth posted:

Agreed.  The only thing I can think of that is worse is to go full camo, setup a hunting tree stand with binoculars in the woods to watch your son at high school tryouts.   True story.   I know a guy......

This crossed over from angry to crazy.

This is hilarious.  In HS the kids w/o a license/car had to be picked up after practice.  A football field separated the parking lot from the diamond and we were discouraged from hanging on the fence.  So the two dads with the best eyesight would pretend to converse near the fence and relay the info to the rest of us.

Ours literally sit there every day at practice like it is a game.  The kids talk to the parents during practice and the whole shooting match.  I told them when I moved here.  Ya'll better be glad I'm not coaching or this stuff would end.  My pet peeve as a coach is a player looking in the stands during a game so I know I could not handle it during practice.  One friend said what do have to hide.   I said nothing but I still have blinds up in my house.  This is a family and all the outsiders, and yes parents are outsiders, don't need to be all up in the family's business.  I also don't do well with nosy neighbors.

Back to OP   On upset parents/kids, my response is who cares.  Both middle and younger sons started football, basketball, and baseball all four years.  Did the other parents talk?  Absolutely but I wasn't around them to hear it and didn't care.  I knew it happened but that didn't affect me or my kid.  Why did I care that some senior, junior, or sophomore parent didn't like that my freshman was starting over their kid.

This is just my opinion, but I'm not so sure a high school coach is doing a kid any favors by pulling them up to a varsity team when they are Jr. High years.   First, most states have a restriction on the number of season you play varsity sports.   But also, there is some emotional benefits that come with playing with your classmates when you are 13-14 yoa.

At our local high school, my son was playing with the high school varsity team, there was a kid in the 8th grade that had all of the national accolades, he is a very athletically gifted kid, and was ranked nationally as a top 10 player by Perfect Game and other ranking services for his age group.   All of the high school guys liked the kid (he really is a good kid and all of the high school guys knew that).   I asked my son how things were going with this 14 year old added to the varsity roster, and he told me that he is really athletic, everyone likes him, but that is very quiet and hardly speaks to anyone.   There was also another problem.  The kid had a father.   Yep, it was one of those types of fathers that felt he was more of a street agent than anything.   The father was very loud, very vocal, always in the coaches ear, and of course felt that his 14 year old son should be the number 1 pitcher, starting SS, lead off and clean up hitter etc....

The kid was put into a couple of games, and didn't do so well.  Didn't hit as most expected.  Made some fielding errors and all around just wasn't ready for the stage despite his history of playing in national showcases and national tournaments.   There was another instance where his father made some accusations that were unfounded and untrue, but went to the coach with his accusations.   The coach had to address the team about the accusation, and everyone in the room realized that it came from the 14 year old's dad.   My son said he glanced at the kid and he said that 14 year old looked like he was about to cry in the locker room from the embarrassment.  I was told that the kid pleaded with the varsity players that the meeting wasn't his fault etc... And all of the high school guys knew that this was a case of the father just taking something totally out of context, but still the emotional damage to the kid was already done.    By the end of the year the kid transferred to a private school in the state.   The kid really is very athletically gifted,  but wasn't necessarily a great baseball player at that point.  The kid has all of the raw talent to maybe develop into a MLB prospect, but raw talent doesn't always mean "Big Show" am I right?

I have a few comments to make about this story.

1) This kid had been around baseball for a long time.  He jumped from team to team playing as a "guest player" and showcase to showcase to display his natural talent (and the kid absolutely has natural talent).  What he never really experienced growing up was the opportunity to play on and be a part of a team.   The team concept was totally foreign to him, and he really needed to stay on the 8th grade team to learn how to be a leader.  To learn how to be a teammate.

2) A 14 year old may be very gifted athletically and physically mature, but a 14 year old is seldom emotionally mature.   And this showed when he was on the field, practiced, and interacted with 17-18 year old high school players.   He should have been allowed to be a kid playing 8th grade baseball regardless of his athletic ability.  There is a level of emotional maturity that is gathered by growing up with your piers.

3) Dad's can absolutely hurt their kids by attempting to be to involved.   This kids dad made his presence known and it had a negative impact on his child's experience.

I am a big fan of this kid.  He is a super kid, and I like his dad a lot also.  I always had great conversation with the dad, and genuinely think he is a great guy.   Just sometimes, we as parents get a little to ahead of ourselves when it comes to our children and their development.   I think that the kid needed to stay on the 8th grade team and enjoy being a member of a team with his piers.  It would have helped him grow as a team mate, and would have been the best emotional environment for him in my opinion.   Yes, I know what some here will say about progressing someone with that type of talent by moving them up into higher age groups, but there is more to growth and development of a young man than just the physical.   

There are few things in HS baseball that are more disgusting than watching a parent pimp their kid out. It’s usually a dad, but I have seen moms try to do it too. And it always seems to end badly for the kid. In every occasion that I recall seeing this, it was a parent that had little to no experience playing competitive sports themselves. This group of parents are also the ones that tend to over value their own kids playing abilities and create issues for the team because of it.

There was also another problem.  The kid had a father.   Yep, it was one of those types of fathers that felt he was more of a street agent than anything.   The father was very loud, very vocal, always in the coaches ear,

The ideal coaching job is at Orphanage High School.

*****

As a travel basketball and baseball coach I encountered one mother who always tried to wiggle her way into being team mom whether one was needed or not. The sole purpose was to get the coach’s ear for the benefit of her son. She did it at the middle school. She did it with rec and travel teams.

I had her kid in travel basketball. The kid had talent. He played high school basketball. But, he was selfish. When I finally couldn’t take it anymore we had the conversation on why my son played point over her son. I explained my son is in search of the perfect pass while her son is selfish and wants the ball so he can shoot and score the most points. Of course, after the fact the dad got in my face telling me don’t ever speak to his wife about their kid that way again. I told him if she doesn’t ask any questions I won’t have to tell her the truth.

When 13u travel baseball came around the kid wasn’t even a consideration for the program I was building. The mother caught up to me and explained her son was the LL all star shortstop and a pitcher. I responded, only because dad was the head coach. That comment led to another confrontation with the father. The kid was a bench player in middle school until he gave up baseball.

Over 5,000 parents later I recall 1 strangest parent.

Game one at the Cooperstown at Hall of Fame field, Our American HS Team is the playing the Japan National team with Matsui.

The father of one of our player who was at bat was "yelling" instructions on each pitch. After two pitches, I walked over the man and said "you go to the parking lot" Do you want your son "Killed".

The player from North Carolina was drafted as a Junior [Scott Boros agent] and had his "cup of coffee" with Oakland.

Bob

I get it, it's a lot of pressure and discomfort for both the player and parents.  My son played varsity as a soph (freshman year JV - he did well).  I of course had mixed feelings because I wasn't confident he would play much with a stacked V team.  I know it challenged my son and he worked extra hard to show he can play with them.  First few practice games and season it was basically myself sitting in the stands by myself.  The other parents were nice but had their own cliques.  I knew every inning my son was out there was taking innings away from these other players and parents.  One parent (unknown to me was an ex-mlb player) sat next to me and explained the game and team philosophy .  His son was a bench player (that's another story) and reassured me my son definitely has talent and deserves to be there.  We became good friends from that point on.  Son started every game from day 1 in hs, 1st team all league as a soph.  May be coincidental but the angry parents I know had son's who just played hs and if fortunate jc or a few years of college.  Things will work out in the end, control what you can, enjoy the game because for many it is a quick journey.