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79 replies

Any suggestions on how to deal with a coach?

NIC15NIC15100+ posts
quote:
2) Played but didn't make it all the way so went into coaching and are but heads to one degree or another 80%



This was your exact statement. You should re read it. I don't care what you say, that is insulting, simply to state that they did not make it so they got into coaching and are but heads to one degree or another. That is ignorant. So you can save your bell curve, and statistical information for someone who wants to hear it. What is your bell curve analysis of the odds of a coach getting a great player, with great parents?

I am not confusing intentions with results. My intentions here are to let you know that was an idiotic statement, and the results maybe it will get through your head to think before you say.
LB luv baseball5,000+ posts
Nic,

Yep coaches are people too and if that is idiotic I'll take it. If you are insulted by the Ball Coach bio tell what part is not true.
Is it the fact that almost all played ball and didn't make it to the bigs? That coaches are people with the same failings and weaknesses as anyone else (but heads in my words)? That 80% are average? That 5-10% are awful or 10-15% are good to great?

This started with a guy trying to figure what do with his kid struggling with the coach relationship. I am telling him not to have expectations of the coach he wouldn't have with a boss, coworker, neighbor or man in the street. Few will dispute that point for the basic reason that it is the truth.

In fact I want to Thank You for helping me with this entire exchange to prove my point. Challenge coaches and their tender egos at your child's risk. It is his ball and he knows it. It's even worse when some overbearing parent with over inflated ideas of the player's talent does it.

So I'll stick to my premise that it is the very lucky kid who has great parents and a good coach. Sadly that player is the exception not the rule.
NIC15NIC15100+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by luv baseball:
Nic,

Yep coaches are people too and if that is idiotic I'll take it. If you are insulted by the Ball Coach bio tell what part is not true.
Is it the fact that almost all played ball and didn't make it to the bigs? That coaches are people with the same failings and weaknesses as anyone else (but heads in my words)? That 80% are average? That 5-10% are awful or 10-15% are good to great?

This started with a guy trying to figure what do with his kid struggling with the coach relationship. I am telling him not to have expectations of the coach he wouldn't have with a boss, coworker, neighbor or man in the street. Few will dispute that point for the basic reason that it is the truth.

In fact I want to Thank You for helping me with this entire exchange to prove my point. Challenge coaches and their tender egos at your child's risk. It is his ball and he knows it. It's even worse when some overbearing parent with over inflated ideas of the player's talent does it.

So I'll stick to my premise that it is the very lucky kid who has great parents and a good coach. Sadly that player is the exception not the rule.



Fair enough, and you are entitled to your own opinion in which I respect. However I don't beleive you proved your point by challenging coaches and their tender egos. I have far from a tender ego. I may sound like I am tooting my own horn here but I am trying to prove my point, I played Professional ball, never made it to the majors, but I did go farther than most, i coached HS, College, and Professional, as well as became a MLB Scout, I did not get into coaching because I did not make it all the way. I got into coaching because I have a passion for the game, I still have alot to give the game, and I enjoy working with kids, and arming them with the knowledge, and skills I was fortunate enough to receive from some of the best coaches in the game. That is why I do it.
LB luv baseball5,000+ posts
Nic,

There is no question once playing days are over coaching is the option to stay in the game. Unless you want to umpire which seems pretty unlikely.

Since there are so few jobs in professional baseball in comparision to HS and college that is where most former players find themselves. Nothing wrong with that at all. You just do not see many guys who spent any significant time in MLB coaching HS. There are some but not many.

In my neck of the woods there is one; Gary Lavelle. The rest played college and/or minor league ball and when that was done settled into the real world with coaching HS as part of their life. As a group they are decent men and they are not all saints either.

I think that's all I've got on this one.
RJMRJMHSBaseballWeb member since 2007
quote:
Originally posted by Doughnutman:
Looks like I'm not just an overbearing parent. 4 returning starters just left the program. Counting last year's 2 year starter that left, that makes 3 kids with major D1 commits/offers and two with the potential to play D1 in 2 years have left. He could have had a heck of a team.
What happens when they leave? In our state transfers have to sit out a year. Even the privates ban tranfers from league competition for a year.
RJMRJMHSBaseballWeb member since 2007
quote:
Originally posted by Doughnutman:
All you have to do is move. They are moving. Just found out that the starting left fielder is gone. It is a rich area. Most have the resources to move. Unfortunately, we do not. That makes 5 of the returning starters gone. 6 if you count last year.
Without transfer rules restricting play I can see sending a kid to a private school. But to move over high school baseball seems a bit of an overreaction. I wonder if they would move if they didn't like a few teachers?
TurnTwoNetTurnTwoNet100+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by RJM:
Without transfer rules restricting play I can see sending a kid to a private school. But to move over high school baseball seems a bit of an overreaction. I wonder if they would move if they didn't like a few teachers?


RJM,

I really can't disagree with you, but I do know of at least 3 families who have moved, not necessarily exclusively for baseball but to choose a different school and all 3 were baseball players. We just had a rezoning here and I know of a few others looking at the same thing to stay with a school and program, so it can happen...
RJMRJMHSBaseballWeb member since 2007
quote:
Originally posted by Doughnutman:
RJM,
If you don't like the teachers, you only have them for a year or you can drop a class and make it up in summer school. A bad V coach has his hand on you for 4 years, year round, and there is nothing you can do about it if you want to play in HS. T

Big difference.
I could go into a long dissertation on what I think of my son's coach. It's not pretty. It would be echoed by fifteen other parents. My son is a college baseball prospect. He tunes it out, plays the game, succeeds and enjoys his teammates. He'll rely on his travel coach and hitting instructor who's a pro scout for the next step. If I had a crystal ball I would have sent him to one of the privates who recruited him. And it turns out their coach (incident I posted on a couple of days ago without naming names) leaves a lot to be desired too. The coach who recruited him left.
WklinkWklink500+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by TRhit:
doughnutman


Can you answer the other question--- what does this teach the boy about handling adversity


TR, there are some cases where a parent has to step in. It isn't about teaching adversity and overcoming it, it is about parenting.

None of us know the whole situation but if it was my child and the coach was putting my kid into a dangerous situation it is my responsibility as a parent to make sure such actions stop. Granted, it would have to be a lot more than just 'the coach won't play me where I want to' but there are circumstances where I would pull my son. No lesson is worth an avoidable injury.
D Doughnutman1,000+ posts
TR, I know that you have changed careers in life. Are you married to the first girl that you fell in love with when you were younger? Do you have the same investment advisor? Do yo goto the same church?

Love, careers, religion and retirement are a heck of a lot more important than baseball but most (99.99999%) have changed thesee things many times in their lives and it is OK.
D dub-L-play10+ posts
I thought he said he was ruining kids arms... A friend of my son's lost a season because the Coach kept pitching him even when the kid complained of elbow pain. Told him to suck it up, and not to go the doctor... Parents told the kid to do what the Coach says, because, afterall he is the Coach, so he must know right and wrong?? This same team had 3 stress fractures, and 2 kids out with tendonitis.
So, should the parent step in? or is this a lesson for overcoming adversity?
Last edited by dub-L-play
TRhitTRhit10,000+ posts
DOUGHNUTMAN

YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ME--- NOTHING AT ALL--DO NOT EVER EVER ASSUME YOU DO--I never changed careers--I did baseball while my construction career was ongoing and I still do baseball now that I am retired--College Select was set up for me to have a positive thing when I retired--

The first girl I had any feeling for died in an auto accident before HS ended thus I cannot tell you about that

What do my investment advisor and religion have to do with anything

We are talking about parents moving a kid perhaps to suit their own dreams nothing more nothing less.

Sometimes you amaze me !!!!
D Doughnutman1,000+ posts
TR,
I didn't mean to PO you. What I meant is that people have to make hard decisions in life. Rarely is anyone in the same situation for their entire life. Sometimes you have to cut your losses and move on. It is an important lesson in life.

To misquote Kenny Rogers," You got to know when to hold them and know when to walk away." If someone screws you over, often times the best thing to do is leave. They aren't going to change.
Coach_MayCoach_May10,000+ posts
If your son is miserable and this situation can not be fixed then a transfer my be the only way out. If that is the case good luck. I have known a couple of situations like this over the years. Sooner or later the "coach" flames out but that doesn't do a thing to help those that had to deal with it. I wish you well whatever you decide to do.
Coach_MayCoach_May10,000+ posts
JMO I would make sure he steps up and talks to the coach. I would make sure he knows what to say and when to say it. Now if that does not work then its time for you to step up. I would think given your high opinion of this coach its going to be a rocky road if he stays. Especially if things do not go well for your son. Good luck.
TRhitTRhit10,000+ posts
dub l play

Before you throw the sarcastic "EINSTEIN" you better know what you are saying and who you are saying it about

And who deems what moronic? YOU!!!! That makes me laugh--you know nothing about me but you want to defame me with a continual stream of terms such as moronic and then you hide behind a blank profile---that tells me a lot about you as it should others
RJMRJMHSBaseballWeb member since 2007
quote:
Originally posted by Doughnutman:
RJM,
All I can say is that he does every bad thing you read about on this site except cuss and beat on the kids. And I mean everything.
He doesn't play for my son's coach. You would have to add cussing. It's in your face cussing so parents don't hear it. Does he jump out of the dugout and berate his players in front of the entire park during a game? Does he rip the ball out of the pitcher's hand without saying anything when he's relieved? Most kids would rather be sworn at than publicly berated. My son rolls with it and plays his game. He's enjoying his team's success. He's having a great season even if the coach won't mention it (not one compliment all season). When it bother's my son he says give him ten minutes and he'll get over it.
Last edited by RJM
C ctandc500+ posts
Reading all this reminded me of what happened to a friend's kid several years ago.

My buddy moved back near his hometown when his oldest son was near HS age. Great kid and ballplayer. New HS got built...kid reports to tryouts as a 9th grader. The JUST hired head Coach for Varsity happened to have just moved back to be near his family / hometown. Also turns out that said Coach was the HS sweetheart of my buddy's WIFE of 20 years. She broke it off with "coach" when she left for college. Ran into my buddy (they all went to HS together) later on..got married had kids.

My buddy found out who was "Coaching" when his kid came home wondering about the "Weird" way he was treated at tryouts (ignored) and why coach kept asking who his Mom and Dad were. (Not a common last name).

They actually moved a town over because of this and the fact that my buddy and his wife didn't want to regularly run into "coach" who never had married....

Weird but true.

Kid must have been a decent ball player. Got several D1 and D2 offers before getting accepted to a Military Service Academy.
W Will1,000+ posts
whatever happened to talent. If a kid can play he could play. If he could not he could not. Seems today if he can not some make excuses why he can't.
Is there politics yes. will there be in the future yes. My advice is deal with it. Life is not fair deal with it. I come from a day when if you can play you made the team. If coaches today let who they know or dont know who dictate who makes the team then they deserve what they get.
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