Well, we talked it over this morning and decided to stay with the home team. One of the main reasons was because we really don't know if the same circumstances don't exist in the other league. The other coach painted a rosy picture, but my son would have been put into the draft and could have ended up in a similar situtation.
He knows that if he works harder than everyone and outhustles everyone, only good things can come from that. We already spend a lot of time working on various skills throughout the year, so that won't change. He just wants to show the results of his dedication.
I have to respond to "wraggArm".
1) - there are no teams in our area where they have paid coaches.
2) - the teams in the league are competitive. It's just that Daddys do what's best for Junior, and not necessarily what's best for anyone else's kid.
3) - I'm a 56 year old widower, so no young wife. Maybe your clairvoyant skills are a little off today. LOL.
I appreciate all of the comments. I'll write back later on in the year and let everyone know how things pan out. Thanks. - Rich
"if he works harder than everyone and outhustles everyone, only good things can come from that."
2 thumbs up! Best wishes.
2 thumbs up! Best wishes.
quote:Originally posted by Richie_Rich:
Well, we talked it over this morning and decided to stay with the home team. One of the main reasons was because we really don't know if the same circumstances don't exist in the other league. The other coach painted a rosy picture, but my son would have been put into the draft and could have ended up in a similar situtation.
He knows that if he works harder than everyone and outhustles everyone, only good things can come from that. We already spend a lot of time working on various skills throughout the year, so that won't change. He just wants to show the results of his dedication.
I have to respond to "wraggArm".
1) - there are no teams in our area where they have paid coaches.
2) - the teams in the league are competitive. It's just that Daddys do what's best for Junior, and not necessarily what's best for anyone else's kid.
3) - I'm a 56 year old widower, so no young wife. Maybe your clairvoyant skills are a little off today. LOL.
I appreciate all of the comments. I'll write back later on in the year and let everyone know how things pan out. Thanks. - Rich
I wouldn't worry one iota whether he gets to start a game or not. Keep working him on the side and make sure he is ready if he's called.
Meanwhile, there is no reason why he can't be the best hitter in the league or best fielder. Just depends on how much he wants it.
Things change so much from 11-12 to High School.
Just keep it all positive for him, watch games together, and keep him in the game. At some point he will be recognized...
Best of luck to you, Rich! Where in Maryland are you?
Rich,
Welcome to the HSBBWeb, and best of luck to your son! It's still very early, relax and have fun. Before you know it, your son will be a senior in HS, or in college, or playing professional baseball...and you'll be wondering where the time has gone!
As for Daddyball, there is no doubt it exists. It was around 25 years ago, and it will be around 25 years from now! I coached my son up to his Frosh year of HS. During his Little League/Pony days it was relaxing, I moved him around and allowed him to play multiple positions, as I did with many of the other young players. All Stars were a little more stressful. I managed a couple All Star teams and had to deal with the politics. After that initial 9-10 All Stars, we put together a travel team from the majority of the kids on that team. We had fun...won some tournaments and lost some tournaments. At some point, the politics and bickering amongst parents and coaches became too much to handle, and a very talented group of local kids split up and started playing on different teams.
But Daddyball can work both ways IMHO. By the time 14 and under rolled around, me and another dad formed a Semi-Regional Team. We put together a squad that was able to compete with the best of the best in California. We won a ton of games, and we were rated in the top ten nationally in USSSA and other travelball sites for most of the year. That was nice, but we wanted to keep everyone happy and unfortunately our son's paid for it a little. We didn't bat them in the 3-4 hole, we had them in the 6-7 and often in the 9-10 hole. Our kids are pitchers/outfielders and we'd platoon them during big tournaments so that we didn't take playing time away from the other's...kind of "reverse Daddyball". It was tough sometimes, but my son had a great attitude the entire ride, and in the long run it all worked out. Now he's a senior in HS, and I'm looking back thinking... WOW, where has the time gone???
Welcome to the HSBBWeb, and best of luck to your son! It's still very early, relax and have fun. Before you know it, your son will be a senior in HS, or in college, or playing professional baseball...and you'll be wondering where the time has gone!
As for Daddyball, there is no doubt it exists. It was around 25 years ago, and it will be around 25 years from now! I coached my son up to his Frosh year of HS. During his Little League/Pony days it was relaxing, I moved him around and allowed him to play multiple positions, as I did with many of the other young players. All Stars were a little more stressful. I managed a couple All Star teams and had to deal with the politics. After that initial 9-10 All Stars, we put together a travel team from the majority of the kids on that team. We had fun...won some tournaments and lost some tournaments. At some point, the politics and bickering amongst parents and coaches became too much to handle, and a very talented group of local kids split up and started playing on different teams.
But Daddyball can work both ways IMHO. By the time 14 and under rolled around, me and another dad formed a Semi-Regional Team. We put together a squad that was able to compete with the best of the best in California. We won a ton of games, and we were rated in the top ten nationally in USSSA and other travelball sites for most of the year. That was nice, but we wanted to keep everyone happy and unfortunately our son's paid for it a little. We didn't bat them in the 3-4 hole, we had them in the 6-7 and often in the 9-10 hole. Our kids are pitchers/outfielders and we'd platoon them during big tournaments so that we didn't take playing time away from the other's...kind of "reverse Daddyball". It was tough sometimes, but my son had a great attitude the entire ride, and in the long run it all worked out. Now he's a senior in HS, and I'm looking back thinking... WOW, where has the time gone???
Personally, I think a lot of it depends on the qualities and qualifications of the father.
I stopped when my son turned 12 and started playing club/select ball. When they are 6-10 and the basics are being taught most fathers can fall back on that old high school education that they had 10-25 years ago but after that it gets a whole lot harder. Once I realized that my son knew more about the game than I did I decided to let someone with more experience and a better pedigree do the coaching.
I'm involved in things like fundraising and assisting in minor things, I help out at practices doing things like throwing bp or even shagging a fly ball or two but I let the coaching decision be made by the people that make the hard decisions. The only things I volunteer for now are things that make the coaches' jobs a little bit easier to do.
I stopped when my son turned 12 and started playing club/select ball. When they are 6-10 and the basics are being taught most fathers can fall back on that old high school education that they had 10-25 years ago but after that it gets a whole lot harder. Once I realized that my son knew more about the game than I did I decided to let someone with more experience and a better pedigree do the coaching.
I'm involved in things like fundraising and assisting in minor things, I help out at practices doing things like throwing bp or even shagging a fly ball or two but I let the coaching decision be made by the people that make the hard decisions. The only things I volunteer for now are things that make the coaches' jobs a little bit easier to do.
I too coached my now soph son through 11U. I don't think I daddy'd him at all but I still wanted him to play for other coaches and frankly at the time I was exhuasted from the grind of year round baseball.
Now I have the best job...assistant coach for my younger son's team.
With the perspective of having been a head coach and manager and the time and work it takes I have no problem if we're on a team where the coach favors his son somewhat. If that's the price he charges for the work he puts in so be it. Luckily our experience has not been bad at all.
Most parents do not understand the amount of work, time and sacrafice a coach puts in to coach their kids. My hat is off to all the volunteer coaches out there.
Now I have the best job...assistant coach for my younger son's team.
With the perspective of having been a head coach and manager and the time and work it takes I have no problem if we're on a team where the coach favors his son somewhat. If that's the price he charges for the work he puts in so be it. Luckily our experience has not been bad at all.
Most parents do not understand the amount of work, time and sacrafice a coach puts in to coach their kids. My hat is off to all the volunteer coaches out there.
quote:Originally posted by bsbl247:
I'm looking back thinking... WOW, where has the time gone???
Me, too! Time flies. Enjoy every moment.
I would love to see "Daddy Ball" end when the kids reach the big field. The problem is that it's very difficult to find qualified individuals to coach the teams.
I coached my son until he was about twelve. I remember a game where there were runners in scoring position and it was a hitters count and I gave him a take sign just so no one could accuse me of favoritism. I knew right there I was doing him no favor by being there. I've enjoyed every minute since then behind the fence.
I coached my daughter through showcase softball and my son through 16U. They never caught any slack from me. Position and lineup wise they played where they earned. Behavior wise I was tough on them if they acted up. They had to set an example for the team.
In the preteen years let kids play with their friends as long as other circumstances don't deter their passion for the game. This stuff all starts to sort itself out in the teen years and into high school when it becomes obvious daddy's kid isn't very good.
If and when the time comes to play travel ball look very closely at the situation. There can be daddy ball in travel too. If you see six coaches assume six positions are taken. By 15U if a daddy can't coach he can't attract talent.
Be careful what you see and tell your son. I've seen parents including myself get upset at stuff that never hits the kid's radar screen. It's why I say most kids will have fun playing ball as long as their parents don't try to tell them they're not having fun.
In the preteen years let kids play with their friends as long as other circumstances don't deter their passion for the game. This stuff all starts to sort itself out in the teen years and into high school when it becomes obvious daddy's kid isn't very good.
If and when the time comes to play travel ball look very closely at the situation. There can be daddy ball in travel too. If you see six coaches assume six positions are taken. By 15U if a daddy can't coach he can't attract talent.
Be careful what you see and tell your son. I've seen parents including myself get upset at stuff that never hits the kid's radar screen. It's why I say most kids will have fun playing ball as long as their parents don't try to tell them they're not having fun.
quote:Originally posted by RJM:
It's why I say most kids will have fun playing ball as long as their parents don't try to tell them they're not having fun.
Spot on ! Unfortunately, I've found myself guilty of that in the past.
I have been both inside and outside the fence with my son (currently inside) who is now 13.
I think I have seen it the other way as well. Meaning myself and our head coach are much more critical of our sons' mistakes and play.
As my son grows and matures he has kind of stood up to me (respectfully mind you) and said to the effect "Dad, I know and I got this so how about you back 'er down a little" And as a 40 year old man I am proud to say I think I have.
Crazy he seems to be playing a lot more consistently without a lot of bad emotion now that his sometimes lunatic dad is no longer yelling at him for every little thing.
Now my head coach and his son. We are still working on that
I think I have seen it the other way as well. Meaning myself and our head coach are much more critical of our sons' mistakes and play.
As my son grows and matures he has kind of stood up to me (respectfully mind you) and said to the effect "Dad, I know and I got this so how about you back 'er down a little" And as a 40 year old man I am proud to say I think I have.
Crazy he seems to be playing a lot more consistently without a lot of bad emotion now that his sometimes lunatic dad is no longer yelling at him for every little thing.
Now my head coach and his son. We are still working on that
Ha ha ha, had to bring this up. This was during the selection of the 11u a/b/c teams. The "a" team has been together as a whole group since coach pitch (8yrs old) The coaches kid last year made the team "because he was put in sacrificial positions" this year its because "he has fire in his eyes when he is at bat" another kid because "well he has been on the team for the last four years" Ha ha ha. It is all to keep them together until after 12 so they can all go to cooperstown together. This team didn't win a single tournament last year. As a coach, wouldn't you want change so you can hopefully have a better chance at winning?
Dadof3 posted:Ha ha ha, had to bring this up. This was during the selection of the 11u a/b/c teams. The "a" team has been together as a whole group since coach pitch (8yrs old) The coaches kid last year made the team "because he was put in sacrificial positions" this year its because "he has fire in his eyes when he is at bat" another kid because "well he has been on the team for the last four years" Ha ha ha. It is all to keep them together until after 12 so they can all go to cooperstown together. This team didn't win a single tournament last year. As a coach, wouldn't you want change so you can hopefully have a better chance at winning?
Sounds to me like your local organization needs to come up with some rules.....and if they have them put someone in place to enforce them. We had 3 teams in our small town starting in 3rd grade....3rd-5th grade played together. Every year, we held a "draft" to pick the 3rd graders and assign them to each team. You couldn't change teams....you stayed with your team for all 3 years. If a younger brother came up, he was put on the team with the older brother. We had all dads (or maybe uncles) coaching....but they normally were only involved a couple years while their kids were there. We'd usually have a 5th grade dad as HC, then the others as assistants....so nobody really had any unfair opportunities as you were only a HC one year and your son was already on the team. Your only real task was drafting the 3 or 4 third graders....then coaching for 5 or 6 weeks. Our teams were usually pretty evenly matched....though one or 2 third graders who could really play could really help out a team. We played league games only. If anyone wanted to take a team for weekend tourneys, we normally just picked kids from all 3 teams and went and played. Never really had any issues other than a few parents who complained that their son didn't get to go to any tourneys....but it was never a major problem
I'm thinking I would want to coach the B team. These type arrangements seem to get tricky. I assume if a dad is coaching a team, then his kid is going to be on that team. If his kid or the dad had a best friend (or someone that lives next door) than count that kid in too. I realize it is sometimes difficult to field a competitive B team (been there) but to think that the A team is not largely cemented is fooling yourself - although I think you have a pretty good idea of what is going on. To answer your question, a generic "coach: probably would want to change things, but a dad coach may be perfectly happy with the status quo.
I wouldn't expect dad to coach one team and son to play for another. I would expect the organization to tell dad to coach the B or C team if he wants to coach his son.
Daddyball can be annoying. But you will look back on it and laugh. If your son is good it won't affect playing time. Sometimes it affects position played. Sometimes it affects the ability to win the game.
Yes, I agree with everything. It is just funny to hear the reasons stated for keeping a kid on a team. My son is on the b team and I am just happy to keep him there then to deal with some of the issues that the a team has. I am also looking to take my son outside of local ball next year. He isn't going to get the training he needs or the competition by staying with status quo.
Great topic! I laugh at some of these comments and I think we all know that without Dads (and Moms) the boys and leagues would suffer. My own experience was watching my son get more and more frustrated with his daddy ball team (I didn't coach that one) and after the season was over said he didn't care if his friends continued to play on that team, he was done, had had enough and would find his own team. He did the research, found out about tryouts and ended up playing for a former major league pitcher for 2.5 years. That was an incredible experience for him and made him a much better player because of it. As frustrated as we get as parents watching our kids caught up in the "bad" daddy ball, the kids feel it as well.
There is a place for dads in baseball but daddy ball should have no place in the game.
coaches son plays every inning of every game and bats 1 in the order 
Sometimes parents see Daddyball when it doesn't exist. The baseball coach at the nearby rival high school had two kids. As each one started as a freshmen parents of non starters screamed Daddyball. Both kids went on to play D1 baseball.
Kind of off topic here. But I had to share this. When my oldest (2014) was 11. I coached his rec team. We weren't very good but we had a lot of fun. When all star draft time came he didn't make either a or b team. I was fine with it. Son was ok pitcher at the time. Hit ok, he was a big kid and when he ran into the ball it flew a long ways. But. Unfortunately for him he was In a year group that had a lot of good athletes. We had about 15 kids that were decent players that year that wanted to play ball but didn't make the teams for whatever reason - yes we had our share of daddy ball and all the other garbage.
I received a call from the league director and he informed me that the league was going to have a "c" team if I would be the coach. Oh boy- how do you say no to that? So a buddy of mine and I agreed to coach, we entered "b" tournaments. Got killed first couple, kids started to gel and by the last tournament we lost in the championship game. It was a blast. Best time I ever had coaching.
Fast forward to senior year hs playoffs, - 3 of "my boys" we're on the field. (My son was not one of them. He decided to focus on football - right decision. He's a college o line now- not really a baseball body type! ). the "a" team had a couple still playing.
Point is - as hard as it is to do, forget all the trash- politics, daddy ball, etc. just keep it fun and keep them playing. It all works itself out.
I will tell you what, and maybe this was God's plan all along, but next year, I am planning on my son playing aau to get better instruction and competition. Obviously this is barring any unforeseen circumstances.
After my son was no longer playing Pony League, I was asked if I would be willing to coach a team, even though my own son had moved on. I thought hard about it. It would have been great fun, I think. But I was too busy following the kid around and watching from the stands at that point. And actually, I did quite enjoy not having to deal with all the stuff you have to deal with when you coach. But it would have been interesting to see if I coached differently when my team did not include my son.