Attitude Adjustment

1. Sit him down as soon as you see the attitude rear it's head, even if it is in the middle of the game.

2. Run the entire team for the offender's attitude (after laying down the ground rules)

Wish I had some good suggestions as I've got a 13yo with the same issues although showing up umps is not one of them. He is usually best disciplined by running and his spot in the batting order.

I've got another that does show up umps and last time he did so I gave the team a lecture on not showing up the umps after the game and then proceeded to get a lecture from the kid's mom for daring to think her son could have possibly been trying to show up the ump. After all this is only the 4th or 5th time it has happened this year. This particular kid generally is best disciplined by cutting playing time which hurts the team but is necessary. He's now missed 5 straight practices and 3 of our 6 regular season games and I expect him to miss our next game resulting in minimum play for the next game he decides to show up for. When I asked the parents for a schedule for the other team he's playing on that they're giving priority over ours they refused and asked the player agent to put him on another team. The player agent told them they were lucky if he got minimum play and that he didn't think any other team would take him.

What it really comes down to is you have to take each player on an individual basis and try to figure out what will motivate them. I've seen making the entire team run work and I've seen players quit as a result. There's no easy answer and it is players like that who make coaching tough and players like that who make it rewarding if you can figure out how to motivate them.

Nothing is better at changing attitudes and behavior than time spent on the bench.....perhaps even lots of time. If it hurts the team, so be it.

Redbird, I like option number 2. Peer pressure is a powerful tool and may be just the remedy required.

CADad and Grateful, thanks for the replies.

I will let you know how it goes.

R.

Number 1- Talk to the team about attitude and how important it is to be a positive influence for yourself and the team.
Number 2- Tell the team that negative attitude will not be tolerated and if you do not abide by this rule you will sit for the first offense untill your attitude is what it needs to be.
Number 3- Tell the team on the second offense you will be dismissed from the team because you will not allow one persons bad attitude to infect the teams attitude.

After having this talk with the team take the kid by himself to the side and tell him this.

Son you have alot of talent and are a very good baseball player. I like you, you are a good kid. This is not personal but I am the coach and I am not going to tolerate your bad attitude. I am not going to let you hurt this team. I am willing to let you go for your own good and the teams own good if you do not learn to respect the game and your teamates. Do you understand what I am saying son? Good, now lets go to work.

You are doing this kid a diservice if you allow him to continue to act like this without ramifications. Because he will continue to act like this and one day he will pay a much higher price for these actions than being kicked off a 12u team. Also how do you enforce the rules any rules if a player is allowed to act like this without discipline. The MOST important thing that a player can have is a great attitude. I have dealt with these issues before. I have a talk at the beginning of the year. Then we have a zero tolerance policy and the kids know it. We dont have any problems whatsoever. Why? Because they know that it will not be tolerated regardless of who it is. It is not too young to learn that at 12years old. You are free to choose your own actions but you are not free to choose the consequences of your actions.

Callaway:

I have had tremendous success over the years with 12-13 year olds having behavior problems by taking my emotion out of it and doing the following:

(1) Sit the kid down, ask him if he knows when/if he was over the line. Sometimes they don't know. If not, define the line;

(2) Tell the kid they have a clean slate as of now- all past transgressions are forgotten. Tell them the next time they cross the line, the penalty will be (fill in penalty here); if they cross it a second time (fill in bigger penalty here); third time they'll be removed from the team.

Even if you don't have the authority to remove a kid, they don't know that. I've never had to go past the second penalty (which for me was sitting a game)

The big thing is that it becomes about THEIR choice, not my frustration.

XtremeBB,
You're lucky. I'd have to get the board's permission to sit a kid for even a single game. The most I can do is limit them to minimum play. I had to do that this season (4 missed practices and 2 out of first 3 games missed. Since then has missed another practice and 1 of 2 games.) and the parents went straight to the player agent.

Here is what I did. I decided to not subject the team to laps for his behavior at the game and I really thought it a bit harsh on him as well. So I waited until I saw him dog-it at practice last night and then made him run, not jog, a lap around our practice field (larger than our game field).

When he finished the lap I took him to the outfield and sat in the grass with him to discuss why I made him run. I reminded him of his behavior the previous night and talked to him about how attitude will effect his future in baseball. I told him that I thought he was a great kid and if I didn't think that he had a future in baseball I wouldn't even be bothering with him now. I also explained how the other kids looked up to him and that it was important that I show no favoritism and that it would benefit the team and him if he started showing leadership.

We shook on it and he hustled very hard for the rest of the practice. I think it will be ok. He really is a good kid.

I’ve had some success with a problem player by asking them what they would think if they were a coach and they had a player do the same thing they do.

You need to ad lib and set it up a little but basically if I had a 14 year old, I would set up an example where the player was the coach of say, 10 year olds. Then ask them what they would think if one of these immature, whiny (add an adjective that might relate to their own shortcoming) 10 year olds would do the same thing the player does. Then ask them if they think that behavior was acceptable.

As I said you need to add some psychological warfare to the story and it doesn’t hurt to have a little personality, respect and add a little humor. If you do it may work for a lot of scenarios in dealing with kids or for that matter with some problem employees.

Update - The boy in this thread has shown great improvement, throwing hard on every pitch, no tantrums and putting out great effort. His grandfather even came up to me after last nights game and remarked about his improved behavior.

The best part is that he hit his first HR last night! He came up to me and said, "Coach, I hit a HOMERUN!!"

I chuckled, patted him on the head and said, "Atta' boy Edwin."

Callaway,

Good to hear. What do you attribute the kid's improvement to?

You mentioned his grandpa, is his dad part of the picture?

Best of luck to you.

Unfortunately, his dad is part of the problem. At one game the umpire told the boy to tuck in his shirt and the boy made a weak attempt to comply. The umpire again told him to tuck in his shirt and the boy still only barely acknowledged the request. Finally, the umpire emphatically demanded that he tuck in his shirt or he would be called out. His dad, who was helping out in the dugout ran to his boy and started arguing with the umpire. At one point saying, "What are you staring at Blue?" "Go ahead son, stare right back at him!"

Bad, bad, bad... That sort of behavior won't be tolerated by me from a player or a dad. It caught me off guard at the time, but I assure you, it won't happen again.

The boy just needed to be told "what's what". Since no one else was going to do it, I decided it was going to be me. He was told and now he is fine. Some other coaches have also remarked about the change in attitude. I'm sure that his dad hasn't noticed any change.

Callaway,

I suspected the dad might be unhelpful.

Good for you for making a difference in his life!

Callaway -
Thanks for the story & the update. It's sad, but sometimes the only examples kids have are bad ones. Taking the time to talk with him to explain your expectations and then putting it in such a positive light

quote:

I told him that I thought he was a great kid and if I didn't think that he had a future in baseball I wouldn't even be bothering with him now. I also explained how the other kids looked up to him and that it was important that I show no favoritism and that it would benefit the team and him if he started showing leadership.

is priceless! It takes a lot of patience to try to understand the problem vs immediately hand out discipline. Way to go!