Coaching descisions

I agree with the point that everyone may need to lighten up.  TPM is a great and valued contributor.  One thing we need to realize is that we are not always going to have the same point or opinion.  That is what makes the board so great, IMO.  If I always wanted an agreeing opinion I would just to the mirror...LOL

 

Everyone is entitled to their opinion.

We are all going to have off days or a subject that doesn't sit well with us.

Can't we all just get along??????......LMAO

boy are we going overboard

 

after sleepin on it, i'll admit i was over the top. apologies, TPM. just got all ruffled, in defense of a newcomer. i want a lot of newcomers, as we're just beginning our HS journey, but I was too aggrevated.

jp24 you have a pm.
wklink, great post. So true, HS should be all about development.  Sometimes it's not always the best, that is why there are travel teams.
Rule of thumb should be not to read too much into anything, at all levels.
Enjoy the ride!

Someone asked me the other day on the phone "Why don't you post as much as you used to?" I told them I felt like the demographics of this site had changed so much I wasn't sure if I had to much to say. This thread kind of supports my feelings.

Some of you are in for some serious reality checks in this game. You don't have any skin in the game. You going to hit? You going to pitch? You going to play? Are you even an option? No. Your son is on the team. You can come and pull for the team or stay home if you want.

This idea that somehow the parent has skin in the game is a pathetic mentality. Parents that can't allow their son to earn his way, battle for his time, fight adversity real or perceived are a train wreck waiting to happen.

When your son has accomplished what DK has in this then come back and tell us how your skin in the game helped him achieve it. What a joke. Then you can take the credit instead of the player getting it. After all its your skin in the game. Lol

By the way TR Hit is right. If your kid plays long enough come back and apologize to him. He has forgotten more about this game than many of us know.

I'm a very positive person. I allowed this thread to turn me negative. I apologize for that. Sorry I mean that. I will post positive in the future or nothing.

Coach May, I appreciate your view, and hope you can appreciate that sometimes we get sideways, then realize we shouldn't have. That said, is it possible that the real challenge in a forum like this is that we all just read words on a screen... rather than having real conversations, which enable us to instantly assess intent and motive? That's what happened to me.

In any event, I hope you don't let me dilute your enthusiasm for posting here. I cannot tell you how many of your posts I've bookmarked and plan to give to my son when the time is right. I'm really here to learn from y'all. I crossed a line yesterday because I misinterpreted some things. In the future, I'm going to  always assume the right motives, and just focus on the message. Period.

CM,

I understand about sometimes saying things that are on your mind.  If you get grief from it so be it.

I agree with you, if that makes you feel better.

Thanks.

Man I wish I could simply post my experiences as a coach, a Dad of 2 sons who played and one still playing in college. My experiences of coaching so many young men over the years. I want you to know that no player ever made it, reached his full potential, learned how to grind it because the parent did it for them. But boy have I seen my share of kids fail and have miserable baseball experiences because a parent couldn't understand that.

We all love our kids. We all want to see them have success at what they love to do. We all have that built in desire to help them. Sometimes helping them means not helping them. Stepping back, supporting the team, staying positive and letting them learn what it takes and what it's going to take.

If you want it then fight for it. And you will know YOU earned it.

Coach May,

  Any advice to get parent's to understand this?

in terms of info and opinions   it helps to know abit about the posters depyj of knowledge and experience

if myparents ever got involved in my  playing  time .  and they neverdid it would have shocked me    and my dad was an ex semipro ctcher

What's up with all the TPM bashing! Listen newbies...she just so happens to know what she is talking about. She doesn't sugar coat it. She gives it to you straight. Now how one's choose to interrupt her advice...well, that's on them. Listen....you too just might learn something. And another thing parents need to consider....little Johnny isn't always quite the top prospect that parents think they are. Get them to a PG event for a fair and unbiased evaluation. Then take notice and work at it. Let your efforts and performance do the talking. In most cases...talent will prevail. Freshmen teams are often being evaluated for where the Coach feels their strengths may be for JV and Varsity. In College a player may play a position that they have never started at in High School... I for one am not gonna fret over any of our son's last season in high school. If his Dad's stroke last April taught us anything....Enjoy the ride...cause you never know when it can all end! TPM, I find your frankness and honesty refreshing!

       
       


EXACTLY!!! And part of becoming a man and being prepared for the real world!

       
       

TPM - He doesn't deserve explanations. In fact he owes you an apology.  And to the contrary ...David has had success that every little boy would love....and it's not over. But, if he decides that it is, everything that he has learned and gained in his experiences will carry over into the next chapter of his life's journey.

Coach May,
Please never stop writing whatever you're feeling and offering your insight. We are still waiting for your first book! And I know it'd sell!!!

Thanks Shelby, I got an apology and it was accepted.

 

I shoud NOT have said anything about son but I did. 

 

I don't know a lot of stuff, this has nothing to do with knowledge, this has to do with common sense, sit back and enjoy the ride, you don't have to be a genius to figure that out. 

 

The way I feel,  let them figure out just how difficult it is, how silly so much of this is, then they can come back and argue later on.

 

Hope all is well and your hubby is much better.

 

proudheismine,

Have no clue what you are talking about.

You ever wonder why the parents of players who have actually went on to achieve success in the game all fall on the same side of issues like this? The parents of players who have played past HS and some professional ball? It's because they learned a little something along the way. They learned that politics do exist. They learned that the game can be cruel at times. They learned that those tough times, struggles, perceived injustices real or unreal are all part of the process. Thatitdoes no good to be a victim and whine and moan when things don't go the way you think they should or hoped they would. That those things that seemed so had then only turned out to be part of the process.

How do you learn to deal with adversity if you never have to face it? If someone else has always faced it for you? How do you grow if your never allowed to grow? How do you handle it when that person that has always handled it can't handle it any longer?

Your setting your player up to fail when you won't allow him to fail. Failure, trials, adversity, either eats a player up and buries him. Or it drives him to be all he can be. Your either teaching him to be a man or a boy. Boys don't handle this game very well when their competing against men.

It's your call. But don't say no one ever told you.

I was reading posts in the thread and I found I was often having to go back and read the OP because I couldn’t quite see what some others were seeing in it. So I thought I’d comment by taking that op apart myself.

 

My kids Frosh season is going well but as a parent it's my duty to nit-pick and second guess the coach the first chance I get. 

 

I’ve been doing the baseball bulletin forums for over 10 years now, and I’ve read things like that probably thousands of times and made them myself at least hundreds of time as well. It should have been recognized as tongue in cheek without the emoticon, but with it, anyone who saw it as a serious statement meant to imply it was an action all parents should take is just going way over the top.

 

He started the first 3 games, batting 3rd or 4th, playing right field.

 

If true, it was a simple statement of fact, not a brag.

 

4th game he was a DH, still batting 3rd, but got no field time at all.

 

More statement of fact, but a piece of additional information.

 

If I wanted to read into this negatively I'd say maybe he's doing poorly at practice not playing his position well.

 

Letting the reader know he realizes there could be a legitimate reason for the boy not playing the field, with the NEGATIVE being on the boy, not the coach.

 

Positive spin tells me the coach is just trying to get some kids off the bench that usually sit most of the game.

 

Letting the reader know he can also understand a reason not negative to the boy, but rather a positive for the team.

 

I asked the kid he says "I dunno".

 

He lets everyone know he asked the boy, but the boy didn’t know why he was taken out of the defense.

 

There was absolutely nothing anywhere I could find where 2016 wrote anything disrespectful of the coach or the program. Even when he posited something negative, it wasn’t about the coach.

 

Personally, I hope 2016 sticks around. Sometimes it takes newbies to a forum where all communication is done via the written word, quite a while to be accepted. Its not just  on this site, but anytime they’re entering a situation where they aren’t known, but more importantly what their writing “style” is.

On his behalf, in case he's bailed, THANK YOU, S4G! That's how I interpreted it. Maybe some of us are rookie posters, but we're not necessarily rookie readers I think this guy was just looking for experience-guided-by-wisdom. Hope he got it.

 

I must of missed this thread entirely.Rehab and PT for my surgery ten weeks ago has me jumping busy.

 

When I first came on here almost nine years ago there were (still are some) many,many old timers and just people with so much experience and knowledge.I soaked it in and loved this site.

 

Not in this thread particularly,but in general the site has changed.People are way to thin skinned about what people say.I have gotten in a mood or two over the years too.

 

I think for the old times,TPM,Coach May,CD,Thrit,Justbaseball,infielddad,FF,and many others that I am forgetting and many who have moved on,we are on the other side of it now.

 

When we read posts from new parents that do seem worried about everything,we just want to say RELAX

 

HS ball was so much fun for us.It goes by so fast.ENJOY

 

In most cases(I know there are cruel exceptions) the best players play.As parents its hard to understand our sons may or may not be part of the best .

 

Your sons will learn great things about himself fighting to be one of the best,succeeding in that and sometimes failing in that.Both sides teach much.

 

Coach May is right when he said : your boys will be playing against men if you dont let them stuggle and succeed.

  Baseball gets in our blood and boy it can wreck havoc on our lives when as parents we let ourselves (and we all have done it) get personally involved to the point of not being objective.

 

One day soon you will have no control what happens to your son in the game.Tpm and several of us are there.Its not easy,injuries,being cut,the dream ending ,the battle on and off the field.

 

We look back and think OH just enjoy the game,enjoy the whole team,embrace the experience.I am so glad HS ball was a blast for our family.I cherish that always.

 

I think we have lost many old timers,they have moved on, we have great posters like Coach May who now post less,as many old timers.

Parents get so upset when someone says something they dont want to hear.

The OT want to help you through the journey and share in the successes and failures.At the same time we see things maybe you dont see yet,take that information,process what you like and maybe not get so offended.

 

This is a great site with great people.TPM is a straight shooter,but she knows what the journey is like,her son has been through it and still going through it.

 

We can disagree and have thought provocking exchange.No reason for personal attacks in any form.

 

The game will end for our boys one day,some sooner than others.Look at what the game has given your son.heck when I came on here I was looking for advice as to how to make the HS baseball team.We had no dream of college ball or beyond at that time.I guess I am glad looking back.It made the HS journey just fun and uncomplicated.

 

I missed my sons entire first year in rookie ball,didnt see one at bat couldnt afford to go.Hoping he makes a team this year so we can go watch him play and enjoy the game.

 

Also as a sidenote DH is a coveted position as you move up the ranks.Any game time at all is cherished.Guys making lots of money at DH.Usually the better hitters are in that spot.

 

My son shared DH and LF with a young man who will probably be drafted in the first round this draft,in summer ball for the Newport Gulls.He didnt mind.

Thanks Stats (and others I've thanked). I'm still here, have been for years in reader mode. 

I'll apologize for my attempt at sarcasm in the OP. I tried to word it as if I was just making small talk with another dad while sitting watching a game. It was most definitely tongue -in-cheek. If it had a boastful tone it was completely inadvertent. I never played baseball and know you guys here, as well as my son know more than I ever will. As much as I think I've learned my son is always pointing out elements of the game I don't see. The signs, (the missed signs) the strategy, all those things not apparent to casual watchers. 

 

To update, he DH'd on Saturday and with no input from me volunteered to tell me after the game "Coach says I'm DH so he can give more kids a 'start'". That's fine with me.

This is a really interesting thread to me.

 

On one hand, I am still relatively youthful in comparison to some other "old timers" here (no offense guys...). On the other hand, I've been here since '05 and I've been through a good amount in this game. I see both angles- the curious, loving, slightly stressed father of a teenager entering his first foray into high school baseball. I also see the old timers here who have "been there done that" per se, who scoff at the overzealousness and helicoptering that we see of some parents today.

 

Firstly, I didn't see anything particularly wrong with the OP. As Stats noted, it was an honest question. Without addressing any other post in response to the OP, I will address the OP directly. My advice would be to take a third-person approach to the situation. I'm sure that your son truly appreciates the support and passion you show by attending his games and watching intuitively and with focus. However, there is no indication that your son feels the same way about the situation that you feel. Teenagers are funny animals and often times don't view scenarios in the same light as adults- right, wrong or indifferent. Since it is his playing time and his playing experience, it should be only him who dictates a reaction.

 

If and when your son does elicit some sort of response to a particular situation, then my advice would be to play somewhat of an optimistic Devil's advocate. When emotions come into play in certain circumstances- whether that circumstance is positive or negative- it becomes difficult for an individual to view the circumstance objective. This difficulty is magnified tenfold in teenagers. It is important to show continued support for your son, and try to get him to understand that perhaps there is a "bigger picture" than what he is seeing at that present moment.

 

Now, to address the back-and-forth posts that ensued. Without trying to avoid sounding like a broken record, I am going to echo the sentiment of the "old timers" here: Relax. Relax. Relax. I've been far guiltier of not relaxing than the majority of you here. Baseball is a game. Baseball is a fun game. Baseball is a fun game that creates friendships, and work ethic, and memories. A failure to live in the present negates the opportunity to create those things...especially the memories.

 

Is it bad to care about your son's well-being on the field? Of course not. Is it bad to *sometimes* question a coach's decision making? I don't think so...privately, at least. Is it bad to be supportive and want the best for your child? Definitely not. 

 

High school baseball is the last true "pure" form of amateur baseball that exists in today's baseball world. Old timers here will understand what I'm saying...and if someone here doesn't, that's the beauty of this website. It is available to help people learn, to gain experience, to progress.

 

Enjoy everything while you can. It's a wonderful time.

 

2016- Thanks for sharing with us, and please feel free to continue to contribute here.