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How do you convince a kid that their nervousness is just cold feet? My daughter (a senior fastpitch softball pitcher) worked very hard to be good enough to play college ball. That has been her goal and now she is being offered a scholly to a good school that is not local (but only 1 1/2 hrs. away) and she is thinking about turning it down. She says she is afraid she will get there and, because she doesn't know anybody, will be miserable. I have explained to her that it is just an hour or so away and she could feasibly come home every weekend. Has anyone else experienced this kind of cold feet? If so, what did you do to ease their mind?
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Dad...Tell her to practice for college now!

When she goes to school each week, during the course of the week, tell her to make it a point to say hello and get to know a new person each week.

Surprising how many new friends she'll make and how well prepared she will be for meeting new people.

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I know one thing we've done to help BK (hopefully) - to get acclimated next I researched different campus groups and found one that is right up his alley...

Already been in touch with their leader who is emailing newsletter's to BK now...about activities.

It keeps him informed about things, and you might check that out for your daughter...groups she might be interested in and such...

Next weekend, we're traveling as a family to watch one of the college games, so BK can see the players and get a glance of the atmoshpere waiting for him...

hope this helps...
Perhaps her new coach would be willing to give her contact information on some of the current and '04 players. Your daughter could then call or e-mail them, asking questions about classes, adjustments, etc, and make the whole prospect of being there with girls with similiar interests more real. Right now, she knows the facilities and coach...but the rest of it is pure unknown.

Help her get ready for the experience with all those life skills she'll be handling for herself - maybe for the first time: budgeting, balancing a bank account, laundry, grocery shopping and cooking if that's part of her accommodation, making preparation for her new adventure a family project, and reminding her how much you'll be there to support her.

It is a scary prospect, but an exciting one, too. And then there's always the question when one has cold feet about a change in life: what's your alternative?

Best of luck!

From 'Nice Guys Finish Last' by Leo Durocher:

Baseball lives at the center of a never-flagging whirl of irreconcilable opinions.
Agent Dad

Oh my! I thought I was reading about MY daughter when I read your post. We went through the same thing - as a matter of fact the month of August there was a lot of crying and fear again about leaving. (And she is 7 hours from home) But she only called us ONCE the first 3 days that she was there because she was so busy she just didn't have time!! She loves it and is a soph. now and I know she found the right fit for her.

I new it was the right school for her, so I did say a couple of things to help her make the decision. We told her that she could always fly her home if she felt she needed to get home for a weekend (the drive is a bit much for just a weekend) We told her she could fly once to see her boyfriend if she wanted. We reminded her about the fall and Thanksgiving breaks and how often she would be home to see us and her friends.

Well, knowing that she would be able to come home whenever she wanted was enough for her NOT to need to come home. However, she drives up and down the coast now like its nothing, and she amd the boyfriend broke up so she's meeting lots of new people and growing up! (Not to mention doing great in school.)

I think that if your daughter likes the school, she'll make the adjustment. But if she's not happy there, it won't be a great experience.

Getting her there might be half the battle, but since it't not that far from home, she shouldn't have that much trouble adjusting. Heck, I'm sure she travels to softball tournaments alot further than that!

Good Luck and let me know what she decides!

My daughter is a freshman playing softball only 42 miles away. She came home for only 1 football game during the fall. She has lots of new friends. She has been busy with conditioning, fund raisers, and now the season has started. Your daughter will be so busy, especially as a pitcher, she will find it hard to get home very often. I've asked mine more than once if she wanted to come home, even for an overnight visit and she said no, she was afraid she would miss something at school.
Thanks for the outpouring of advice. I have done most of the things that were mentioned and we are suppose to be going to a game in March, where I am sure the coach will let her mingle with the rest of the team - so maybe that will help. I know the kid is going to make friends right away and probably never want to come home - in fact, when we had our campus tour, the guide (a student) and her hit it off instantly. The obstacle is getting her comfortable enough to give it a try. Hopefully, it will work out. All of the other schools that are showing interest are ****her away than that and the local schools had heard that she was a lock at this school and have made offers to other pitchers. There is one school local that offered to 2 pitchers and only 1 has accepted, the other has about a week left to commit. I spoke to the coach last week and he said that if she doesn't, he will have a spot and would consider her for it. It may turn out to something as the coach and assistant have both coached her on travelball teams before.

I have found that in most cases the circle of freinds and acquaintances will the be the same in college as they were in HS-- the athletes, male and female--- it will all happen by itself-- first the teammates will be the freinds then gradually she/he gets to meet and know the players on the other teams---

I can tell you that any time I called my sons house at college, he lived off campus with three fellow team mates. it was rarely he who answered the phone-- it would be a voice I never heard before--"Hi Mr Rizzi, this is Mary from the softball team--I will get him for you" !! If it wasnt a softball player it was volleyball player, or a football player or a swimmer or a basketball player.

I think you get the point-- tell the young lady to relax and it will come together naturally.

I was somewhat concerned when we took our son to school this fall for his freshman year. He's an outgoing kid but sometimes doesn't tell us all that's on his mind.

When my wife and I returned to our hotel room after the first afternoon's orientation program he called us and said he was in the coaches office and had met up with a few of the upperclassman who asked him to go to the cages with them. He was truly excited, and hasn't looked back since.

One of the things that helped in his transition was a group of teammates and friends from the first day.

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