College freshmen parents

Sending #3 son (#5 in the family) and I can tell you I have had a persistent lump in my throat since January. This is it for us! I'm just so grateful that he has found a great place to get a first class education AND continue to play ball. We'll be on the road a bit more, but we're looking forward to this new adventure for all of us.

Let me also say - things have really changed for the better when it comes to staying in touch with your student. When our first left for college (many years ago!) we still had to worry about calling cards and long distance phone bills. Now with email and texting it's so easy to keep in touch. A line or two every day (or even a couple times a day) can be just the right amount of contact from home.

If you don't know how to text - learn! Even the busiest kid will take the time to read and respond to a short "how's it goin"?" message from home. My kids love when I take pictures of something crazy that one of the dogs is doing and send it to them via text. If I see an article in the paper that I know will interest them, I email the link along with a short message. Do your kids Tweet? Then sign up for a Twitter account and learn how to "follow" their Tweets. I know - it sounds like a foreign language, but if you want to talk to your kids, you gotta speak THEIR language!

And YGD is right on the money - you will be so happy to have them back home after freshman year, but soooo ready for them to go back after that first summer!

Good luck to all the new college freshman and to all the moms and dads who have to learn how to parent in a whole new way!

Thanks for the encouragement and advice. I HATE that my son is leaving home. I know he is ready to fly, but I am sad, sad. Contrary to what other high school parents told me about their experiences and how they couldn't wait for their child to leave home, I don't feel that way. I really like him now, not just love him, and am so sorry to see him go.

Mourning not seeing the other parents we sit with at HS and travel ball is a whole other grieving experience (and topic).

Lots to let go of...

YoungGunDad - Thats some really great advice.

There's both a sense of pride and sadness when you drop them off. For the most part, its all good in the long run!

I had a little different "issue" with our older son. He was only 15 minutes away! I had to stay firm in my commitment to stay away from practices, scrimmages and running into him at football games. You gotta let them spread their wings and fly while being on the ready to catch the falls whenever they occur.

My oldest will be a Sr in college this year. When she left home to begin her college life, we could not wait to help her go (it had been a really tough Sr HS yr!). Now, as the years progress, I find myself missing her more and more every year, and every day! She is very far away, and there is something to be said for going not so far away from home, even if you have to pretend they are all of the way across the country but only 15 minutes away. And the further away she is, the more we stay in touch (isn't that weird?). She spent a semester abroad last year, and we skyped/gmail chatted several times a week. When she is at school, we talk on the phone, email and text, but have not video chatted. That's weird?

My youngest leaves this fall. Not going quite so far away, but as with her, we are happy to pack him up - he is headed to a great place, and we can see him more often than we do her, but not enough to "wear out our welcome" with him.

In two weeks my son will be at school. My second and last child, so we will be empty nesters.

I am really excited for him as he launches into this phase of his life. It is bittersweet, to be sure. We are very close, and I have so much loved watching his baseball and football games over the years. Now it will be cold-turkey. About 3000 miles will separate me from watching his ball games.

Texting and Skype and Twitter and Facebook are all great ways to stay connected. It is SO much easier these days to remain close while distance separates. That will definitely help ease the transition.

I am not spending sleepless nights, nor am I dreading him leaving. I am excited for him. But yes, our life will be differen in so many ways, and I haven't yet really wrapped my mind around all the implications. What will be our new routine, when football and baseball games and practices aren't determining our schedule, our meals, and our entertainment?

My wife and I will enter a new phase in our life together as well, and I'm looking forward to that too.

I don't worry about it too much, because life, like baseball, is a game of adjustments.

And I am just simply thrilled for my son to have the opportunity that lay ahead of him.

"life, like baseball, is a game of adjustments".

thanks for that Rob - that sums it up right there! how often have we told our boys to "make the adjustment"... now it's our turn! I'm going to print that out and hang it where I can see it every day to remind myself - gotta make the adjustment!

Rob - so astute. Could not have thought of a better way to put it all. It is a fun process, a little nerve wracking, while at the same time humorous. It is a potpourri of emotions to be sure. We too will be empty nesters and are also looking forward to that phase. It will be ups and downs, but mostly ups!

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Couple observations...

- You will lose one baseball family and gain another...you will soon come to know the parents from the new school...even if they are far you will likley attend fall world series, or some early spring games...you'll meet players and parents and become connected even if it is long distance.

- You will be simply amazed at how many games you can get through home or away team radio, program live video, gametracker, cable tv...or slingbox. It is a connected world. And if you are at a bigger program there may be an online community connected to your team.

- One of the greatest gifts of college baseball is that they already have a family, one that is committed to their success.

- You will simply be amazed...until you have seen it you cannot fathom how much they change and how quickly...they go away boys and they come home men...and it is well worth the wait and the adjustment on your end.

- The stuff that you have always preached and wondered if they had retained any of...is both regurgitated back to you and lived out in wonderful ways you could not have predicted. Again well worth the change and some things that is a joy to watch play out. Even from afar.

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Wonderful posts! My son's daily countdown goes on "Mom, Two weeks and 1 day".(until he leaves for the start of his freshman year) He is so excited!
And I am excited for him! But...you see I have the "worry" gene in the the family. I know he will be fine but a part of me still wants him to be the
5 year old that did not want me to leave the first day of school. Now he is making plans for us to "just drop his stuff and leave." I know he is ready, I don't know if I am.

I'll keep you posted

Great posts and thanks for them.

My son is 15 and my daughter will be 13 this month. The wife and I frequently talk about how great it would be to be empty nesters.

Both kids spent a couple of weeks with their grandparents this summer while we went on a cruise (no complaints about that and if you can do it, you should). We came home a week ago Sunday, the kids came home last night.

There was something missing, a hole. Once the laundry was done, lawn was mowed and I was caught up at work, there was a void. The last few days were very empty without the kids. The cat kept walking around with the 'where the h*ll are they look'. I couldn't wait for them to get home.

Now that they're back, bickering with us, complaining, not listening, playing the tv \ video games \ stereo too loud, eating everything but the stucco, its like we've been delivered from our purgatory and our family is whole again.

I need to rethink this whole 'empty nest' thing, I don't think I'm going to like it after all...

JMoff,

If I could make a suggestion, do some research to see if you can find a time machine OR discover a way to stop time (or slow to a creeping crawl) for the next 3yrs. Because I promise if you don't find either of these, the next 3yrs will pass you like a speeding bullet!

I'm a grown man but what I'm about to tell you IS the actual truth. You've seen those commercials about when the Dad and Mom drop the son/daughter off at college and the commercial pans to the parents either sobbing and/or driving home in dead quiet? IT IS TRUE! I kept telling myself that it wasn't gonna happen. I'll be darned if it didn't! I hated it.

But the following year this is what you will be doing when the time comes near for him to leave for school again.....

My 16yr old daughter has already informed me that when big brother leaves this fall the guest bathroom is going to be remodeled to her tastes!

This is great!

Thanks, but I'm still having these mixed feelings about it.

On the 22nd, my baby girl officially hits her teens, so I sense that the real 'fun' is about to start...

My Dad gave me some great advice the day we brought our first son home. He said "Don't miss a minute of this, It will be over before you know it." He was so right! We have followed that advice with both our sons, and will continue to do so. We raise our children to be able to make it on their own someday. Why am I sad when they can? The oldest is about to leave for sophmore college season. He's 6 hours away, but still in Texas. Youngest is entering junior year of high school. I have to stop now, feeling very old all of a sudden. Life is so sweet with love in it.

My wife and I have been empty nesters for quite a number of years. While I miss the joy and happiness of having our daughter and son in our house, I am overjoyed to experience who they have become and continue to become as make their path in life. I am delighted to be an observer and fan of what they are doing and how they are doing it and truly enjoy the occasions when they call in for some input and suggestions and/or acknowledgment from Mom or Dad, of a job well done.
But I sure am not at all sad about being an empty nester.
The years since our youngest left for college in 2000 have allowed me to fully realize and appreciate the spectacular person with whom I am sharing my life and with whom I get to share the joys of our parenting.
This last weekend we traveled together to the Cape to watch our son coach.
The weekend before, we celebrated in San Francisco, she ran and I hobbled through a 1/2 marathon and then we headed to be with Jacob, a 10 year old we are mentoring, largely through the spirit and vision of my wife.
Thursday will be our 31st Anniversay. The following week we will truly celebrate our anniversary by heading to Seattle to watch Ichiro(her favorite player...after her son ) and the M's play the Yankees.
Last year it was Wrigley and the Cubs vs the Astros on August 6. In years before that, it was places like NYC, San Diego, Lansing, Auburn, Newport and Lowell where our son was playing baseball or our daughter was living and blossoming.
In my life, what happened when we became empty nesters has been magical.
There is the magic of appreciating our children as adults.
There is the real magic of appreciating my wife, Miki, for all her love and efforts to make my life and our lives full, when our nest became empty.

Spectacular post Infielddad.

Man, infielddad, what did you do?

As our son prepares for to leave for his sophomore year (he was only home 3 weeks anyway) my best piece of advice from the last year would be......only worry about the things you can control, have positive thoughts and faith that the things you can't control will work out. They may be your babies..but you will be so surprised and PROUD of how quickly they grow up and what they can accomplish on their own. I think we are all very lucky to be parents of college baseball players, knowing that your son is surrounded by grounded, committed, special young men who are focused on a goal. There is very little time to get into trouble and usually 20 some guys to help keep you out of it. Have faith, try not to worry to much and most of all ENJOY IT, like everything else , before you know it, it will be over.

Infielddad, that is a great post - I am going to come back and re-read it often so that I will have a path to follow on how to enjoy the empty nest! I think my spouse and I are on the right path, as we had about a month earlier this summer to experience it when both kids were out of the house, and we did pretty much the same kind of things you mention here. So, I am hopeful we will be on our way to enjoying our lives as just the two of us all over again.

Thanks for sharing.

Oh, and BTW, we share the same anniversary date - it will be 26 for us, and my spouse has planned a day boat tour on the ocean with dinner afterward. Congratulations to you and I hope your day is fabulous!

My daughter will be a senior in college 1,000 miles away. Once they're settled don't call all the time. Part of college is growing up. Give them time and space to be their own problem solvers. We talk to our daughter once a week. In season we see her at least once a month. When she was a freshman she called after most games. Since then it's been more selective.

There is one benefit of only having one still home. Now when something happens, we know who did it.

infielddad and all, great posts...

There is hope in the future...

This will be a tough week for ole dad, since we will be moving our son to Tuscaloosa (Univ Alabama)next Saturday. Thank goodness fall ball will start in about 6 weeks and we're only about 3.5 hrs away.
Also, our son is excited becauase the HC informed him over the summer that he would like to work him as a 2-way player this fall (LHP/CF). The coaches had noticed that he was selected to the Louisville Slugger High School All-American team as a 2-way player. In which case, maybe we'll have a better opportunity to see him play this fall even if he's not pitching.
I reference this because it is much easier on mom and dad when your son is happy and eager to start the next phase of his life.
For the first time, I'm so glad the MLB slot money was lowered because it made my son's decision much easier to attend college, since he does place a high value on education. As a Univ of Ga grad, I'm even learning to say "Roll Tide".

Best wishes and good luck to all players and parents, may this be your dream season.

I know you are excited about him playing at Alabama. Great program and awesome Conference.

A Bulldog yelling Roll Tide? Isn't that what they call an Oxymoron?! LOL.

Clint

3.5 hrs is nothing my guy was a 8 to 10 hr flight away

Trust me you learn to live with it

Congrats

Great post by infielddad.
What I can't beleive is that we sent our youngest off to college in 2004, seems like yesterday.

I would have given anything for a 3.5 ride to watch son, but we were very happy with his decision.

A very strange thing happened after getting used to being empty nesters (it does take getting used to). Pro ball brought our player closer to home, we have been very fortunate to be able to be at games he is in town pitching. AA took him away, but he's back and most likely will stay for end of season. The only sad part is that his being close is due to recurring issue that seems to not want to go away but have to admit, having to NOT listen to games on the interenet is ok with us. I think he likes it too, very seldom has mom and dad been around to see consecutive games when he takes th4e mound.
Also because of circumstances beyond her control, our oldest moved back with us after living on her own for 12 years. All of a sudden I find myself trying to get back into a nesting routine, everyone needs something, or it's nice when son has a day off and pops in to say hello.
You will be lonely for them, your children will be lonely for their parents and family too but will have less time to think about those at home than you have to think about what they are doing away at college.

Wow, TPM, sounds like you've had lots of things to get adjusted to recently. But I am thankful that your son is playing nearby and am happy to hear that he's popping in to say hi. Let's hope his "recurring issue" stops recurring -- and soon!

quote:

it is much easier on mom and dad when your son is happy and eager to start the next phase of his life

Indeed! Clint Taylor, you are absolutely correct!

Here's hoping your son enjoys each and every minute of his time in Tuscaloosa. Best wishes for a terrific season!

Originally posted by Rob Kremer:
"About 3000 miles will separate me from watching his ball games."

We're right down the road, Rob. You have lots of friends on here that will be keeping an eye on your son. I make regular trips to the campus of my alma mater - if he needs anything, all you need to do is ask.

My son is also going to be a sohp. and cannot wait to get back into the swing of things.Fall ball presents where positions are won,the winter is where they are lost.

Hey thanks Buzz - that means a lot to me. I will definitely take you up on it! Hope to meet in person on one of my trips back there.
RK

Just got back from sending Pop up to college and he is only 12 hours away by car. Went in our back yard and there were all his reminders, left over golf clubs from him and his buddy hitting golf balls. He is gone now but I'm still picking up after him. It will be an adjustment not having him and his friends over, house will be quieter. He is in a nice apt with two other ballplayers. His first practice is today and he said he would fill us in. His team has 35/36 players, come spring there will be 25 so the boys have to work hard and be smart to be on the travel team. Hopefully he makes the team.

PUHD,

I hope it goes well for your son.I think you will miss him more than you think you would of. best wishes for him, and you in this next stage of your life.Keep me informed.

The toughest part for me was driving from his campus to the El Paso Airport and then the flight home---after that I was cool and so was he--I had set up an 800 number so he had no excuse not to call

6 to 8 hrs in the air can ease a lot of stress but then he had always been very independent and able to handle himself

We'll.... today we dropped off our freshman at college.

For me, this thread really helped, I only wish I had shared it with my wife... Pretty tough on her.

One thing that did make it a little easier was the fact that my son took a summer session class at his college. His school is 2 hours away so he came home on the weekends. That really helped him get a good start on his academic's, he walked out with an "A" in the class and can start the fall out with a 4.0 GPA! The summer session also helped him to learn the campus and make a whole bunch of new friends whom he was reunited with today... It also made it easier on us dropping him off today as we had already been through the process. I would REALLY encourage rising college freshman to attend a summer class (the summer before the freshman year) if they can.

My son's a pitcher, so honestly I felt he needed a break from the competition this summer, although he kept up with his long toss and bull pens.


This is a SUPER thread, really good stuff - thanks to all that have contributed.....

TR;

did your son play at New Mexico State in Las Cruces.

My post graduate was at White Sands Proving Grounds *WSPG] Jack Sanford and I dedicated the New Mexico State baseball field in 1956.

Great memories of Army and Air Force baseball.

Bob Williams

sitting here in Bethlehem Pa after dropping son off for first year and next week daughter goes to London as a foreign exchange theatre student. I will officially be an empty nester and as soon as I get home I will take down the batting t net so I wont have to look out my kitchen window and have my mind trick me that a 12 year old son is out there hitting balls into it off a T. It went fast and I intend to make the 3 hour trip from Long Island as much as I can as I know these 4 years will also fly by. I know he is in good hands and I am proud of how both of these kids have grown into good people and found success in their chosen endevours.

He got to meet many of his new teammates today and I know he is in a great spot for both academics and baseball - so, that's all one can ask.

Best wishes to all the freshman and their folks tonight!-from a new "nester"

I studied law in London for 3 1/2 years. It is a different world. I dated a Canadian Ballerina that studied there.
Has she been there before? It takes a bit to get used to.

I dropped my son off this week.

I think whatever melancholy I may have felt leaving him was overwhelmed by how excited I am for him and what lay ahead.

Today he sent me this picture. Guess he's already meeting some people!

Rob,

great looking son. Great picture, that is the basketball coach right???I am not a huge Basketball fan but I think I recognize that picture.Good luck to all your sons,excitng times.

FOG, that guy in the t-shirt has been known to coach a game or two of pick-up basketball here and there. LOL.

Took Younggun up yesterday and it was a loooooong day (10hrs round trip). Though it was much easier this time around it still doesn't negate that he is my son and I'm going to miss him.

The opportunities that await him this year abound and I can't wait to watch him meet each one as they unfold in front of him.